Chapter 9: Bonus Flashback
Hello everyone. AnimeQueen88 has a birthday today! Given that I am not yet done with the chapter meant to follow the last, I've decided to post a short bonus chapter as a birthday gift to her!

Flashback to the fateful night he pushed her away...

The night was dark, darker than usual as if it had taken form based on Kagome's mood. Once again, it was all because Inuyasha had left to see Kikyo some nights before. Always to see her. That's where all of Kagome's troubles lie. And while he never meant to hurt anyone with his visits, a few monkey demons showed up that night and stirred up some trouble at camp, waking everyone up in haste. Of course, given that everyone had fallen into deep sleep under the assumed protection of the inu-hanyou, no one woke up in time to stop one of those pesky demons from grabbing Kagome to steal the jewels, bringing her up to the highest branch of the tallest tree around. She had tried and tried her best to fight it off, but it only became agitated, pushing her off once it had successfully taken the little jar she had around her fragile neck.

And no one had been there to catch her. Miroku, Sango, Shippo and Kirara had all been occupied with the tricky little things that they hadn't noticed the young priestess falling until it was too late, her screams piercing the air like an arrow. But she fell silent when she hit the ground, and the scream was gone in an instant. The drop was too high, and she had passed out from the impact, blood pouring out of her head where she it had hit.

And, almost as if on cue, that is when he showed up. Tessaiga at the ready, already growling from the scent of Kagome's blood. He easily killed off the demons, retrieving the shards in a matter of moments. He tended to work fast when he knew her life was on the line.

And he had rushed her back to Kaede, who needed to perform a spell in order to save her, given that she was on the brink of death with that crack in her skull.

And even still, Kagome had not woken up for a few days.

The wind continued to send chills down her spine as she recalled the events, already feeling the headache return as she lifted a gentle hand to place it on her temple, eyes shutting in order to ease the pain. Kagome had healed for the most part, except for a few pains here and there that would creep up on her like a ghost in the night.

When Kagome had woken up, she remembered lots of yelling outside the hut. It took her a while to realize that it was Sango's voice, angry and fed up, sending curses at someone else. Of course, that someone had been none other than Inuyasha, who spit out his defenses with just as much poison. But that's when the slayer had shouted the one thing that would continue to echo through Kagome's mind over and over again, being the primary cause of all headaches in the first place.

"You can't say you care about her! Someone who cares won't leave in the middle of the night, leave the one they care about to die. But that's what you do. It's not the first time you left and we were attacked, but you continue to do it!" Sango shouted, "And the only reason I can think of is that seeing Kikyo is worth more to you than Kagome's life." It was vicious, raw and full of rage as it seethed out of her mouth, violating the ears of anyone who heard it. And the worst part about it was that it made sense. They had been attacked numerous times by demons while Inuyasha had gone off to see Kikyo, and while none of them had managed to do this much damage, they've still happened. And despite knowing that demons are consistently attracted to the jewel shards, he's left Kagome alone with them.

Does he... does he really not care about me enough? She had thought, pondering it over and over again. She had always known that Inuyasha would sacrifice her feelings to see Kikyo and make sure she is okay. But she had never realized that, by sneaking off, he was constantly putting her at risk. And she almost paid the ultimate price for it this time. But... does it really mean that he just doesn't care about me enough?

Now, Kagome walked the outskirts of town under the dulled moonlight, surrounding by nothing but the void of the unknown tugging at her.

Inuyasha loves Kikyo. He lover her more than anything. I know that. She thought, trying to make sense of everything that Sango had said, But I still thought he cared about me a lot. He always risks his life for me, constantly saving me. But... maybe to him, those little risks that may end up killing me are worth it just to have those moments with her. Maybe Sango's right and I don't mean as much as I think I do. She continued to stroll, eyes glistening with tears that she did her best to contain, though all she wanted to do was go back to when she couldn't wake up. At least for another few days. While the headaches seemed to fade after a while, the pain in her heart just didn't.

"Kagome." His voices fluttered to her, like a gentle butterfly approaching from behind, but if she was honest, she knew that there was poison in it. Somehow, that butterfly was going to hurt her.

But she turned to meet him, because that's all she could ever do when Inuyasha called her name like a spell she was bound to. His eyes were more beautiful than a thousand sunsets as he looked at her, and she couldn't even help but wish she could look into them forever. My heart just wants something that it can't have. She thought as he inched closer and closer to her until they were only a foot apart. And he didn't take those eyes off of her, drawing her in like false hope.

"I..." He started, but trailed off as he took the time to muster up the courage he needed to speak.

"There's no need Inuyasha." She sighed, "I know you love her. I know you want to see her more than anything. And I'm okay."

"No. Kagome, it's not okay. I just..." He trailed off again, eyes closing momentarily, "It's just not how you think it is."

"There's no reason to lie." Kagome countered, wishing that he would stop stepping over her feelings after he already broken them into tiny fragments. He could never handle the hurt he gave her, and yet, he kept giving it and refusing to look it in the eyes. She shook her head a bit, wanting to just get angry, but being unable to. He was the cause of so much distress, but also so much joy. And she could never pick the negatives over the positives with him. She loved him too much.

"It's just that I owe her, Kagome. She died and I failed to stop it." He began, retelling the story she already knew so well, "So, when she comes, I have to see her. I have to make sure she's okay. I can't... I can't stop doing that. But I never wanted you to get hurt. I rushed back as soon as I sensed them. I... it's not an excuse but I'm sorry about what happened."

He's sorry I got hurt... He's not sorry he went to see her. He'll always go. He knows the risks, but he'll always go. The thoughts began to pound in her head. She looked down.

"Yeah, I know you are." It was all she could say.

"I don't want to see you get hurt, Kagome." He grabbed her wrist and just held it in his hand gently, causing her to raise her glance back up at him, his eyes now glazed with despair, "What it does to me... to see you like that. To smell your blood. To think you won't wake up. It..." He hesitated, "...scares me." He had never really admitted to being scared to anything, boasting a cool exterior to avoid being labeled a coward. Kagome's eyes widened with hope as he spoke.

"But..." He began, tearing that hope away from her, "What if I don't go, and that's Kikyo. Again. What if I fail to protect her? How am I supposed to go on?"

She didn't know what to say, now. Sure, she knew that he did care for her. His words had never been so sincere than they were now. But he wasn't just scared for her life, he was scared for Kikyo's life. That fear ran through him whenever he saw her soul collectors calling him, and, if she was being honest with herself, it probably flowed more intensely when it came to Kikyo. It was a bitter pill, but one Kagome knew she could swallow it as long as she knew that he did care.

"Kagome." His voice was broken, cracking like the walls of a collapsing home, "You... You don't know what you mean to me. What you are to me. But I can't. I can't stop seeing her. I want to..." He trailed off again, and Kagome wondered if he was going to say that he wanted to stop seeing Kikyo for her, but she would never know as he stayed silent. She had never seen him in this much pain, so torn. He wasn't telling her to leave, but he was telling her that he couldn't choose her over Kikyo. And she knew that already because he had tried to tell her before, but she had never seen how much it hurt him to be stuck between the two.

I want to be by Inuyasha's side. I always do, but... I think now, barely seeing Kikyo and having to hurt me to do it... It's doing a lot of damage to him. He's constantly worrying about one of us. Kagome lifted a hand to cup his cheek.

"Inuyasha, it's okay. I'll always forgive you." She smiled her best smile, though she felt doom creeping up on her, "I don't want you to be so stuck anymore. You don't deserve to feel stuck."

He paused, wondering how one person could be so damn understanding. So loving.

But she walked away before he could ask, and given the circumstances, he didn't really feel like he had the right to chase after her now. It was clear she was heading towards the hut, where everyone was probably getting ready for bed. She seemed put together, at least a little, but somehow, he knew that she was just masking all the agony. She had almost died, of course. And because of him. There was just no way that didn't sting. He wasn't that stupid to think she had gotten over it just because she survived.

But what he didn't know was that Kagome was not going back to join everyone for bed.

Kagome tip-toed in, seeing that everyone was still awake, Miroku just about to put out the fire.

"Glad to see you're up on your feet, Lady Kagome." He smiled.

"Yeah, I think I'm healing pretty well." She replied, feigning the same optimism in her voice. Everyone just watched her though, watched as she slowly crept in, biting her lower lip in anticipation and not actually taking a seat anywhere. She just wandered around, looking and not saying anything. The truth was, she didn't really know what to say, but she knew what she needed to do, even if it was going to be the hardest thing she had ever done.

"Everyone..." She began quietly, "I... I'm going home." It was the only way she knew how to say it. And she knew that they would understand what she meant. But even so, she felt the world stop spinning as she spoke, speaking her plans into reality. A reality that she would have never really been prepared for. There was nothing she could have done to make it easy by any means, and she felt her heart tremble beneath her chest as she tried her best not to break down.

Before the tears began to fall, Sango walked over and placed a hand on her shoulder, "I understand." Miroku nodded, too. And Shippo... well, even he saw it coming. Though, a few tears slipped.

"I don't want it to be forever." Kagome quickly added, "I just need... I need to move on."

Everyone seemed sympathetic to this, Kirara cuddling against her legs as everyone said their goodbyes.

"I look forward to the day you've moved on and can come back to visit us." The monk added, bringing a sincere smile to the young girl's face. She had never felt so appreciative to have such amazing friends. And she knew she wanted to see them again someday. She knew she couldn't fully live without them, not after how close they had all become.

Grabbing her backpack, she took out a small notepad and scribbled something down, asking them to give it to Inuyasha.

"You can all read it, too, when I'm gone." She said, before taking off towards the well for what she knew would be the last time in a long time. And they all watched her disappear into the forest, taking in the sight of their dear friend before she left them, and wishing with all their hearts that she would find the happiness they all knew she deserved someday. Still, the air felt unforgivingly thick that night, and breathing was becoming harder for all of them as they reveled in how much they would miss her.

"W-What does the note say, Miroku?" Shippo asked, whimpering as he did.

The monk took a look at it.

I'm sorry for leaving, but I think it's time I did. I don't want you to be in pain anymore, Inuyasha. Kikyo can replace me. She's strong and has the power to sense the jewel shards, too. And you can be content always knowing that she's safe. And that I'm safe, too. Just like I know you want.
Thank you for everything. I had a great time.
Kagome

Well, that is what I imagined happened between the two before Kagome left. I hope you all enjoyed it and happy birthday AnimeQueen88!

Let me know what you think about it? I know Inuyasha was a little out of character, but I wanted to stress that this is the closest Kagome had ever come to dying, especially given that it happened because Inuyasha went to see Kikyo. I wanted to display that sort of brokenness he felt after seeing her almost lifeless body, but not being able to give up that obligation to Kikyo because he was also scared to see that happen to her.

Until next time!