Hi guys! So I know it's been a really really long time since I updated, as I kinda abandoned this story. If anyone still follows it, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Sorry for giving up over the last few months. but I hope to go back to writing from now on.
"Hey Negan!" Laura interrupted Negan's speech on the megaphone in the loudest voice she could produce. His eyebrows raised and she could she the annoyance in his face as he turned to her, before he realized the reasoning behind her interruption.
The girl's glare was like ice to him as she refused to break the look of disgust on her face. Her lip folded as she nibbled on the side of it, a trait he knew on her meant she was thinking carefully, lost in thought about the two worlds of what she should do and what she would do.
Negan immediately jumped off the back of the car he was standing on. The moment of shock passed, and he walked as quickly as he could while keeping his stamina to the girl, who was standing there coldly with her hand pressed firmly against the bump. Her eyes seemed to tighten their hold on him with their indecisiveness, taking in every movement, breath and word from him, as if one tiny action would snap her entirely.
"Greene?" He asked as she glared at him before he grabbed her arm tightly.
She refused to let any words depart from her mouth, knowing a cold look would hurt Negan worse that what she could say. She felt every finger of him prickle into her skin, feeling like poison sticking to her. His fingernails were indenting the plush skin of her forearm, stinging it slightly as he only squeezed her tighter, but she could hardly feel the accompanying pain in comparison to the ache she felt in her chest, begging her to run.
"The baby?" He whispered quietly enough so only she could hear. The soldiers around them just stood, some pretending not to watch, but eavesdropping noticeably, others just glued to the army in front of them. "Is the baby alright? Are you alright?"
"The baby's healthy." She said in a monotone voice, refusing to let any emotion through. Baby, she didn't like the feel of the word in her mouth. She remembered a time when the thing growing inside of her wasn't the first thing everyone thought or asked about when they saw her. She remembered when every man used to respect her, and if they didn't, she'd settle to have their fear of her and Negan motivate their behaviors.
"Okay." Negan thought for a second, his eyes still searching hers for any sign of warmth. "We're gonna get you home. I'll have Carson take care of you."
"I'm staying for this." She said strictly, knowing Negan still thought that she was forcefully kidnapped and wanted nothing more than to be in her bed next to him. The thought filled her with disgust as she continued to stare grimly at him.
Negan smirked his usually charismatic grin, and looked at her almost proudly.
His perfect minion wanted the fight, she wanted revenge as much as he did. Sometimes he wondered if she went too far, if she had just lost her mind, and didn't care why she was killing or who it was, but in the moment, those thoughts were long lost. In the moment, she was the perfect soldier, wanting blood like it was the air she breathed.
"Laura." He called, not breaking his stare at Beth. "Bring the bow.
It was only seconds later that the blonde woman with the tattoo returned with a smooth wooden bow complete with a case of three arrows. Negan grabbed it from her, his hand grazing the part the arrow normally rested on as Beth's eyes studied it. Beth watched his hand move along the wood, touching every inch before he would give it to her, as if taking ownership of her once prized possession.
"Bet you've missed her." He continued before turning it sideways to face the girl. Their eyes refused to meet, both of the, fixed on the fixed contraption. Her mind seemed blank, and suddenly there was no more Negan or Rick, just her and her bow that together already had too much blood. It was a weapon, but more than that, it was a choice.
She hadn't been a defenseless child in a while, long before Negan, but now she had a weapon. Even before the simple wood was in her grasp, she could find ways to defend herself. She knew how to fight better than most men twice her size, she had been trained to use it against them. But this, this was a different kind of power; it was a choice. She could just so easily end everything, it wouldn't take her more than a few seconds. It was so familiar to her muscles, the movements of just grasping the arrow, stringing it, and pulling without a thought. She used to focus when she pulled the string back, she used to mean it, but now, now it was just a string.
"Like nothing else." Beth finally spoke, moving her eyes from her only power left in the world to the man who was giving it to her. Her voice was suddenly once more that of Negan's perfect minion, warm to him but somehow chilling to everyone else.
He laughed as her hand fell against the cold wood and she grabbed the back holder to swing it around her shoulder. She tried to think about what she was doing, she tried to figure out why she was doing it, but nothing came to mind. Her body took over, holding the bow, and breathing, like she had no mind to protest it. Her eyes turned back to the other group, studying them, trying to find a way to remember in the scared faces of the surrounded group.
She pulled the string back and tilted the bow tightly, feeling a slight breeze move her messy ponytail as she aimed the nonexistent arrow at her group. Her eyes studied the combined force until they fell upon her sister. My sister, she repeated silently to herself, moving her lips to form words that no sound followed, although it looked more like a shiver to anyone watching her, as she tried to make herself feel the words, but her body felt numb. They were less than a hundred feet away, and yet Beth had never felt so far apart, like she was in her own world entirely.
Beth couldn't hear what her sister was yelling, but she saw her turn to Rick and saw the anger and fear in her face. Beth wondered if she thought that she was betraying them, or if she just thought she had been captured. It didn't really matter one way or another. The fact was she was standing on the wrong side, fully knowing she could end the whole thing with one swift movement. Her body felt frozen to her, forgetting what it was to feel Negan's hands on her, forgetting what it was to be hugged by Maggie.
Her arm shook before she forced it down when Negan turned his attention back to the proceeding battle. Beth stood by the car, hundreds of people around them, awaiting life or death, and she felt nothing. Her eyes moved along the faces beside her, Negan's men, waiting for his order to take other lives, as were Rick's people. She tried to make herself feel sad or feel anything, but all she could concentrate on was the sound of her own breathes.
"Rick the Prick" His voice echoed through the megaphone. "You really shitted this one up, didn't you?"
Beth studied the bewildered glare of Rick's eyebrows furrowed together in a fury. The indents of his smolder only emphasizing the anger at being outsmarted once more by Negan. He was far away, but she could have recited every wrinkle of his face, seeing him or not. Negan's voice was booming throughout the open field, but she hardly heard it.
And then she found him, walking up to the front line. She couldn't see his face, but knew it would be a mixture of anger, waiting for someone or something to fight. And then she felt it. She felt the need to go back to him, she felt the hurt of the thought of him dying, she felt the loss of standing next to Negan, when he was there. She suddenly cared if she died, she cared if Negan took her, or killed her sister or anyone else, but she wanted to be with Daryl. She wanted to feel his arms around her, she craved the feel of his chest against hers, she wanted him.
"Greene?" Negan turned to the girl and nodded towards the bow in her arm. She obeyed his unspoken command and pinned an arrow between the arch and string. Tilting it to meet the direct line of between where Daryl and Maggie stood with their guns held high in anticipation, Beth breathed out a gush of air she didn't realize she was holding in. Her nose twitched at the mumbles from men behind, she could tell Negan was saying something to her, but nothing seemed to exist except the end of a bow and the inches between two alive bodies.
She exhaled once more, feeling the extreme tension of holding the bow force a new ache in her shoulders and back. The end of the contraption scraped the outer layers of her bump, and a wave of guilt went through her when she felt an alien kick inside of her.
"Greene" Negan's voice half broke her concentration, but she refused to let it show as she released the tension and forced herself to tear her eyes from the piercing bow flying towards the people she had once loved. Negan didn't follow her lead as his eyes landed on the bow standing horizontally with its end having stabbed the peeling bark of an old tree. He studied the look of shock on Maggie's face, as she slowly realized what happened, and who exactly had shot the arrow. Daryl's expression stayed almost entirely the same, as his eyes stayed focus on Negan now, rather than the heavily pregnant blonde girl, looking entirely out of place.
"Shit Greene." He turned to the girl, who had started glancing over the overwhelming force of the Saviors, seconds away from decimating the opposing group. She bit into her lower lip, wondering how easy it would be to release one more arrow straight through Negan's eye. So easy, yet she knew she could never truly do it, she wasn't even sure if she wanted to. Nevertheless Daryl had told her not to kill, and for once she wanted nothing more than to listen, but knew she wasn't going to. Daryl might be dead in a few seconds if she didn't do something, yet she and her baby would be dead quicker if she did. "I've never seen you miss like that before." Negan said, and a subtle fear pinned Beth's bones.
"I ain't never shot this pregnant before." She lied, hoping it would rid Negan of the thoughts she knew would come to him.
Her head pounded and the iron taste of blood filled her mouth, as she realized she might have bit a little too hard into her lip. She moved her eyes to where Dwight stood in captivity, and he looked back at her. She didn't know what he did to deserve his sentence, but she could almost have felt bad for him. There was always something about him, that made her hate him a lot less than the rest of the men. Now he was most likely a dead man, no matter how the battle went. The thought sent a vile taste through her and for a split second, she thought she might actually vomit again. That thought was quickly brushed aside, when she looked to see Negan had his gun up.
"Now!" He yelled.
She heard the shot from Negan's gun so close to her, but after her hearing just turned to a high pitch ringing. She instantly felt weak, as she watched each gun implode before she turned to Negan. Her eyes found the gun dropped to the floor until they moved up to the wound on his hand.
He was yelling, she could see it in the movement of his jaw snapping open and closed again, but no sounds could register. It felt like only seconds of her world blurring around her in confusion, before Rick's group was approaching. She could feel fingers press against her, trying to tug her back to reality, but she wasn't mentally with them.
Her eyes focused on the angel winged jean jacket that she saw facing her with the man's side turned when he sent a bullet through some Savior she probably wouldn't have known. Negan was tugging at her arm to get down, but Rick had already caught sight of him. He ran, leaving her standing there, hoping one of the Saviors wouldn't finally send another bullet through her skull.
Beth watched Rick run after Negan from the opposite side of his truck. She slid her back against the cool metal, and slowly shut her eyes for a quick second. It was only seconds later that a new interruption came about. Her eyes were once more forced open, only to find that Dwight's tied up hands were nudging her elbow.
"Dwight." She heavily breathed the name, as her eyes studied the man.
"You should go, Greene." He said, half in a whisper, realizing he was just as unsafe as Greene was in the situation. "Get in the car and find Sherry. You can track, you'll find her."
"I can't Dwight." Beth whispered, hearing an imposing gun shot.
"Go. You'll get that baby killed, Negan's done now." He told her, all emotion leaving his voice. "You'd be able to find her, give her the baby, just like you planned."
"I ain't goin' anywhere." She said, quietly relating Daryl's words to her, and finding a strength she had thought she lost in them.
"Greene, Greene!" Dwight yelled as she stood and barely heard him.
Beth stepped slowly from him, going openly into the surrendering battle. She knew Daryl or Maggie would see her almost instantly, but her feet moved on instinct. Not unless ya hafta. Daryl's voice was embedded deep within her as she stepped further down the grass hill until she caught sight of Negan and Rick.
The two were both bloodied, Negan swinging a bat in a teasing manner, but Beth could see from there Rick was trying to reason.
"Bethy!" A woman shrieked from behind and she knew it could be one person.
Michonne grabbed Maggie back as Beth exhaled twice more before lifting her bow.
"Beth." This voice was different than the woman's shriek. She would have recognized the deep southern tone of it from anywhere, but in the moment she couldn't let it deep into her mind.
Beth pulled her second to last arrow from the hitch and her eyes narrowed in on its point as she set it. The end had two green and one purple filt wings on it, and she knew there had been times that she wondered what made the creator pick those colors. It wasn't that she didn't like them, it just seemed odd to her that someone would take the time to specify the green and purple. Maybe it had been his kid's favorite colors or something, she thought to herself, knowing there was fifty million other things for her to be thinking about as the wind seemed to go silent in anticipation, yet she couldn't force the thought from her mind. The thought was hilariously ironic to her, and at any other time, she might have even laughed out loud at it, but she knew she couldn't then. Still, the thought that she was holding up a deadly object between her index finger and her middle finger, having the full capability of ending any of the hundreds of people in front of, was designed by a child's favorite crayon color, made her chest warm in internal laughter.
"Beth." It was the same voice, but she could tell it was getting closer. The first time her name boomed in her ears, she could tell the man, who said it, was at least twenty feet away. Now, it seemed like he was less than ten.
Beth forced the thought away as she created more tension, feeling the tightly weld rope sting at the ends of her fingers. Her eyes narrowed in on the line from the strict point of the arrow to Negan's smirking face, with Rick standing directly adjacent to him. Neither of them seemed to notice her yet, but she could tell there was a plethora of people watching her and them from behind.
"Beth." The name sounded a third and final time, before she felt calloused fingers breeze against her elbow. "Ya don't hafta." He whispered next to her.
The words stung and she closed her eyes to dull the pain inside of her. She could feel the grip closing in on her, readying himself for her to give in and lower the weapon.
"I don't." She whispered and inhaled one final time with her eyes shut. With the build up of her exhale, she released the tension and opened her eyes just in time to see the purple and green wings take flight and drift through the air, as the warm carbon dioxide she had just exhaled warmed the skin under her nostrils.
She didn't turn to Daryl, as she felt his grip drop. Her eyes were fixed on Negan as he stammered against the tree with a shot through the curve of his thigh.
She watched his eyes contract in pain, but only took a few steps forward, ignoring every sound and movement in the world except Negan's hand grazing the bloodied area, and Rick's shocked grunt. She only went closer to hear his words to her, with her eyes slightly turned to see Rick grab Lucille off the grass it had fallen to.
"Gre-ene" Negan stuttered through the pain.
Rick was standing above him, a shard of glass ripping the skin of his hand open in preparation. Daryl was not even five steps behind Beth, as he approached the scene. The others stood, slowly coming forward as they watched the scene in a justified horror.
Beth pulled the final arrow from her once full collection and concentrated on pinning it between the bow and string.
"Shit, those fucking hurt." He said, smirking his usual charismatic grin in his pain.
Beth lifted her bow to arch at her bump once more, but her eyes stayed on Negan besides the colorful wings this time.
"So." Negan was interrupted by a fit of coughing, before returning to his glare at Beth's ice cold expression. Daryl studied her just as much, watched the strictness of her face. Not a single muscle contracted to show any signs of weakness at all, and her lips half puckered as she held all the power in the world at the moment, holding an arrow facing towards Negan's eye. "You've got to be shitting me, Greene." He mumbled.
"Don't Beth." Daryl's voice was as stricter than she had ever heard it. "It don't gotta be ya. Ya don't hafta kill 'im."
Beth took a deep breath, trying to make a decision.
"Greene, put the bow down. Stop shitting around. You're not going to shoot it." Negan spoke clammy, even with a hint of laughter in his voice.
"Beth, don't listen to 'im. He ain't worth shit." Daryl reasoned, while Rick watched the scene, deep in thought.
Beth tuned them out through her next inhale, and only listened to one specific voice in her head. We all got jobs to do. The sweet battered old voice made her insides swell and it felt good. She didn't recognize the voice at first, but it brought upon something close to happiness in her.
She shot her eyes opened and let go of the arrow, letting it hit centimeters from Negan's head, causing bark to fall from the old pine tree. Her eyes fell to Negan, only to find that he was bleeding out even without her arrow. She turned to see Siddiq running towards him, and once more looked to Rick.
Suddenly the pieces of the puzzle came to her, as she realized Rick had slashed him, but was keeping him alive. The screams of her sister boomed in her ears, as she watched Maggie collapse in Michonne's arms. She suddenly felt the million eyes on her, but Daryl filled her thoughts once more, when she felt his breath on the back of her neck.
"I never miss." She said strongly, no longer feeling like her world was closed off to just them, but still feeling a sense of protection with his eyes on her. She could tell he was confused, that he was thinking real hard on her actions. For a second, she was scared he'd leave her there, not want to take her back to Hilltop, or Alexandria or wherever the hell else. The thought sent a shudder through her as she thought back to Dwight's words, and wondered how true they could possible be.
"Ya just did." He said, his voice still cold and unaccepting.
"No I didn't." She shook her head in a childish manner, hearing the steps of Rick ruffle the leaves beneath him, and instantly knowing he was approaching them. "I meant to hit him where I did." She said, his eyes still tearing into her. "I wanted to.. maybe." She whispered, a questioning in herself pegging at her chest. "But I didn't. I didn't have to." She said, her lip quivering in hope he'd believe her.
"That right?" He asked.
"Mhm." She said, suddenly feeling like a little kid again being scolded.
"Beth." Rick suddenly caught up with the two, interrupting Daryl's thoughts completely. She turned to him, her eyes filled with a look of innocence, as she studied his blood stained shirt and hands.
"Rick." She said shyly, hearing the serious tone of his voice, and suddenly wondering what grave matter he could want her for. Thoughts flooded her mind of him telling her to leave with the Saviors, who she knew would just kill her or worse for everything she did. It wasn't that she thought she didn't deserve it, but she wanted her baby alive and safe by time she had to pay her dues. Even then, she knew she wouldn't have the long painful death that they had imagined for her.
"I just wanted to-"
Beth's concentration was consumed with the red glare of his eyes, and she pondered the deep sadness of them. It sent a pain in her gut that soon translated to the ache of her back, so she moved her hand to sooth the small of her back in an effort to reduce the pain. "Wait." She interrupted, hearing his tone lower with every word, and fully believing he was about to deliver some truth that he was bursting to get out.
She fully understood it, and knew that deep inside of her, she wasn't angry at him for wanting her gone. Hell, she half wanted to be gone. He had Judith to think of, and she couldn't exactly be considered family anymore. The burn of the thought seemed to at least be pushed off as she stared into his sad eyes, and knew how much pain she had actually caused him.
"Daryl." Her voice was quiet with a sense of sadness in it, but still stern and strict when she turned to the one man, she almost fully believed would never agree with her just taking off. "Give us a minute." She said, ignoring the questioning glare he gave her with the dark eyes she knew could either rip her apart or patch her together.
She could feel his resistance building in him, and the tension was about to break with the opening of his mouth, when Rick interrupted with a nod towards his friend. "She'll be okay with me." He said confidently, and Beth half felt like saying she didn't need someone to be safe with, although she knew that probably wasn't true anymore.
Daryl finally nodded and turned towards Michonne and a collapsed Maggie. Beth waited to she felt his departure had left him a few feet out of hearing distance before speaking again to Rick. "Look I get it." She said, her voice as cold as when she spoke to Negan.
"You do?" He questioned, amused with her confidence.
"You don't want me around. I wouldn't want me around, but the baby…" Her voice trailed off in a thought. "Can I stay until I have it? Then I'll leave, I promise. Just take care of her, please?" She looked up to him, and tried to decipher his confused grim expression.
"Beth-" She could her the resistance in his voice.
"I'll leave and never come back, but please just keep her." She begged, feeling a sadness deep into her voice again as she became frantic with the idea of rejection. "We don't hafta tell Maggie or Daryl, I'll just leave. I promise." Tears began to roll down her face, fully believing he was about to tell her not to come back with them.
"Beth." Rick finally spoke, shocked at Beth's words. He pondered in the seconds that the wind filled their ears, how the girl could be so confused or just screwed up. She was a second daughter to him, she wasn't leaving any of them again. He knew that, he just didn't understand how she could actually think he'd be willing to send her out on her ass, even after everything she did.
"You're not going anywhere." He said, half smiling when she looked up to him in shock, her tears drying and her eyes full of hope again even just for a split second. Rick looked at the little girl, and wished her father was still there. He had said she was like his daughter, yet he had no idea what to do with her.
"I was just gonna say, I wish Carl could've been here to see you." Tears glistened in the older man's eyes, and Beth felt pain deep inside her at the mention of his name.
"It's my fault he's dead." She whispered, not allowing herself to receive the love he was trying to give her.
"No Beth." Rick answered. "It's not anybody's fault. You can't blame yourself for everything."
"And Glenn and everyone else?" The young girl questioned.
Rick sighed. "Well, sometimes we just need to find a way to live with some things."
"And if we can't?" She questioned, as she felt his arm wrap sound her shoulder and push her foreword.
"We hafta." Rick answered. "Now, we gotta go build the world Carl wanted. And Beth?"
"Mhm." She hummed a response, allowing him to continue.
"Carl sure as hell would've wanted you in it."