Thanks for all the comments i'm glad you like the story I know you all hate Ashley right now but hopefully you'll love her again.

Sorry for all the typos it's lke 2:30 in the morning

She wouldn't stop I don't think she could get herself to let me go. I was starting to get fed up with her little game. She kept trying to kiss me, slamming me into the wall. She was shaking and her breath was staggering she knew it was all over. I couldn't forgive her for this not if she had truly loved another while with me. I needed to talk my way out of this room, I kept hoping Allie would come home or Cassie would hear us and come knock.

"Ashley just let this go, I know it's hard but I want you to leave." Her face was sad yet you could see a hint of anger.

"Spencer I can't let you go not yet you didn't even let me talk!" she finally let my wrists go

"What else is there to say Ashley?"

"A lot, I don't know what you think you know but you have to tell me so I can atleast defend it"

She was right I never gave her the chance to really explain. I mean that girl could have been lying to get back at Ashley and played my feelings and emotions against her.

I sat down on my bed and pointed for he to sit on the chair.

"Thank you" she said

"Don't thank me just tell me that this didn't happen when you went to Chicago?" I kept an eye on her to try to read her face

"I can't" she lowered her head "I'm sorry I wanted to tell you, It just happened but it ended there until I came to Brown and we just ran into each other." She looked back at me

"I can't believe this Ashley you…I stopped from speaking and stood up I waited before I spoke again trying to keep my composure.

"So no contact at all since emails phone letters, nothing?" I asked her trying to see if she would lie

"She sent emails that's it no phone or letters, Spencer I really didn't mean for this to happen." Her eyes began to fill with tears I watched a coupe fall before I could get up enough courage to ask

"Didn't mean for what Ashley to lie and cheat on me or to fall in love with her?" her head shot up, she quickly stood and came to me.

"Spencer I never loved her, the only person I have ever loved is you how could you even say that?" something in her eyes made me believe her, but still the lies.

"Because I was told that you said you were in love with her, and I had to believe it you gave me no other choice." I moved out of her reach

"I lied I know but I was scared of losing you I never thought that I would see her again"

"Oh yeah that makes me feel a lot better" I shook my head and went to the door

"Spencer please don't leave, I want you to understand" she came toward me

"No Ashley I'm not leaving you are, I can't believe all this time you have been fucking another person behind my back the jealously toward Allie was all you just feeling guilty, I need to think you have to leave" I opened the door standing against the frame

"Why Spencer?" she began to cry loudly

"It's not going to work this time!"

"Can I at least kiss you?" she leaned into me

I let her kiss me, why because she was Ashley and yes she fucked up but still, Ashley was my world and no matter what she does I will always let her kiss me. It was intense she didn't want to stop and every time I would try to pull away she would only push into me harder, I felt her tongue rub my upper lip it made me warm in all the right spots.

I pushed her away before I gave in to her and I know that what she is trying to do. I wasn't going to let her get me so easily.

"Go" I spoke lightly not in a harsh tone but not a nice one either, she looked sad and hurt. It was me that was suppose to look that way.

"Spencer just…I love you…you Spencer ok just you" she let go then walked past me and rubbed my arm a little but finally she let go.

I shut the door and slide down the door crying uncontrollably. I almost couldn't catch my breath, I was so strong but when I seen her leave it all just hurt to much. I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest bit by bit. The sensation in my stomach made me want to puke. I had finally lost her, I knew and she knew that I could never forgive her, not without losing a little bit off myself. Could I do that give up her just for my pride?

I felt someone pushing on the door trying to get in.

"What the fuck" I heard Allie say from the other side of the door.

I moved letting her in. She stopped and dropped down to her knees

"Spencer holy shit, are you ok? What the fuck happened I'll kill them"

I laughed a little she always seemed to make me laugh at the worst times.

"It's…it's finally done" I was stuttering my words still crying

"What you and Ashley?"

"Yes"

"Oh Spence come here"

She wrapped me up in her arms comforting me, rocking me as I sobbed. We didn't talk she just let me cry, she knew I would tell her everything tomorrow. I fell asleep there in the same spot, I was so drained. The woman I loved killed my heart and I was broken. The only one to fix it was the one who broke it. So what am I to do let love lead me or let my hate kill me. All the books in the world I still had no answers. I've read at least 20,000 books, 100,000 newspaper articles and magazines but yet I had no answer to my heart, no way to stop the pain other than to be in her arms.