Subservience

Chapter 10
A sinking medal

The door it stands ajar
It was, it once was high beyond the guilded cage
Beyond the reach of time, the moment is at hand
She breaks the golden band

(Pink Floyd)

Someone was knocking on the old wood door of Aeris' bedroom.
In these days, she had learned how to discern who was whom - and from the strength and the latent impatience in those knocks, she had no doubt the person outside her door was Professor Gast, this time.
Aeris didn't move nor replied - she was tightening her arms around her knees, as if she was trying to keep herself whole, her back on the cushion, and the soft and warm blanket falling down her shoulder. Her eyes were wide and fixed on the television, which volume was set to 'mute', for obvious reasons.
The shadows of huge snowflakes crossed the thin curtain of her small window - it was snowing in Icicle, as always, despite the good season was supposed to be there already. But she didn't - she couldn't even notice them - her eyes were all for the television.

Her eyes were all for Sephiroth.

"Aeris. When are you going to stop this absurdness?" her father voice was surely sharp - but the pain in it was clear, and touching, too. And she could hear it so well, more than anyone else except her mother. Gast tried to push the door open, without putting in it more effort than it would be needed if the door wasn't locked. But of course, it was locked. And Aeris didn't miss even his suppressed sigh. "Aeris. Come out already. We do know what you're doing in there - I'm not saying that we appreciate it - but we can see - we can understand. You can come out and do that in front of us. There is no need to be ashamed."

No reply.

Still, after all those hours she had been checking him out, she had not gotten acquitted to that hair. She had not even recognized him at first, in that first picture of him blood-covered and half unconscious, being carried on an helicopter by two doctors was all the News on the TV had transmitted - it hadn't even occurred to her that it was her own fault, if his hair was like that right in that moment.
Yes, she had cried so pathetically for relief, when she had discovered he was still alive, somewhere out there, even if now they were parted. She had cried pathetically while hearing Gast muttering something harsh just outside her door, someone sounding like '..preferred him dead, and not the innocent Weapon' , and Ifalna replying something with her voice so low she couldn't catch it.
Right now, on the blurred screen - the signal there in Icicle was never great - Sephiroth was tiredly facing one of the first - and, knowing him, probably last - official interviews, his face really, really annoyed by the multiple flashes of the cameras hitting his perfect features, now completely exposed for the lack of his legendary hair. If it hadn't been for an imperceptible bruise on his forehead, he looked like he had never done something treacherous like fighting a Weapon - he was perfect in his Shin-Ra dark uniform, no bandages in sight, and just one huge golden medal on his chest.

"Fine then. Keep burying yourself in that room, if you reckon that's the best thing for you." her father continued "As long as we get the void dishes back, we know you're alive." he paused, pondering if he should add something else. Of course, he didn't resist, and just had to go beyond his previous sarcasm. "Aeris, my dear." his tone had softened and become more hard-edged at the same time. "It's not the scientist who's talking to you now - he would have kicked you out of this house already for grieving in pain after a Weapon-murdered." there was sincere and burning rage in that sentence "It's just your father. Please, Aeris, stop. Turn off the television, and forget him. You're not the first one who has to go through this sort of thing - so please don't- You will just forget him - you will recover, like everyone else."

Aeris smiled bitterly.
Gast just couldn't see - there was nothing to recover from - there was nothing left at all, if there wasn't him.

Ah - the way he looked hell bored by the futile questions the journalists were feeding him with. The way he looked so much like an arrogant jerk when he hissed something to his assistant, and then just left the room scornfully, while the flashes on him grew even thicker. That was so typical of him - and her smile was not bitter anymore. Nothing, nothing ever picked his interest. She could bet he had gotten a little fed up even while fighting the Ruby Weapon.
'But he was not bored when we argued for the last time, was he..?' she was unable to avoid the little satisfactory thought.

"Listen carefully, daughter. Enjoy him on the TV, while you can. You're not going to see that man again, ever. I'll prohibit that to you -for your health. I'm still you're father, remember."

She stayed there completely still, even breathing slowly, waiting for her father to go away. When she finally heard his footsteps fading down the stairs, she got up.

°°You will recover, like everyone else.°°

She was barefoot, and her light paces on the wooden floor couldn't be heard by her parents. Inspiring slowly, she opened one of her drawers. Her hand moved securely towards the exact point she had hidden it from herself, underneath a pile of her own clothes - and when her fingers found the cold object, it felt like a thousand years she hadn't touched it.
It had barely been a week, instead.

Her pink metallic mobile phone was there on her palm now, its screen pitch black, as if it was dead.
She had switched it off the very first moment she had left the palace, back then. After that - no, it hadn't been easy at all - her whole body had struggled for the first days, because a part of her had wanted to destroy it by smashing it on a wall - part of her had just wanted to speed-dial him, and beg him to accept her back. Then, there had been the news of Sephiroth just vanishing into the desert, and the phone had become a minor problem to her. But even when she had known for sure he was back, she hadn't touched the phone. She was conscious of the fact that hearing it stay silent when it couldn't even possibly ring was childishly less painful then hearing it stay silent just because he was not calling.
The blanket was still cascading from her shoulder, grazing the pavement as she walked towards the window. She opened it with her free hand, switching the phone on in the same moment. Breathtakingly icy air filled her lungs, while her knees trembled, and in the padded snowy atmosphere she could hear her own heart thumping wildly.

Hardly twenty-four hours had passed since Sephiroth had returned to the palace - and she knew he had probably got stuck with a thousand impelling obligations that calling her couldn't even possibly have touched his mind. But her decisions was made.

'If he hasn't called, this - all this - will disappear into the snow.'

°°You will recover, like everyone else.°°

Having been secluded for so long in that room, she actually fancied the freezing gusts coming from outside - some snowflakes managed to fall in, too, liquefying soon on the dark wood.
Really, as she stared at the mute phone, waiting, she herself didn't know if she was actually hoping in this or not.

--

Tifa had stopped liking her days off when she had decided that her hard training was dangerous for her still half unwanted foetus, and had cut almost every unnecessary physical activity out from her free time. So, having absolutely nothing to do in a normal day there at that aseptic palace usually made her miss the house-chores.

Having nothing to do that day, instead, was pure hell.

She wasn't really feeling well, she reckoned.
It was like - feeling torn between dreams and reality.

She had forced herself to leave the palace, that morning - because there was absolutely no way she could deal rationally with all the stuff which had happened, for now. And the front pages of every newspaper with his pictures splattered around she had seen in the palace weren't really helping her out. In a similar way, journalists stepping in every corridor, Shin-Ra men walking around with their head high, doctors, scientist - all kind of people in there weren't helping her, either - because his name was on every mouth, while she was desperately trying not to think about him.

'He was fucking everywhere'
But still - the total and freaking absurdness in the fact that she - she had kissed the same man they were all talking about.

When she recalled that moment, the pulse of blood seemed to spread in her whole body a sensation of authentic and almost primordial panic, and she had been hovering in its grasp since the very first moment they had broke the kiss.
'I have not kissed General Sephiroth'
She was so insignificant, especially in that moment, that it really was utterly nonsensical that a waste like her could get the attention of that person.

There out, a few hundred metres far from the palace's walls, ShinRa and Weapons sort of seemed locked in another dimension - as was Sephiroth. And if it weren't because of her constantly and frighteningly accelerated pulse, she could almost think she had imagined the whole episode, after all.

She was stepping down an overhanging stairway, scraped directly into the dark rocks of the cliffs, which was the only way leading from the palace directly to the sea's water. It was less than one meter large, and there were no rails at all to prevent who was walking from falling down helplessly into the unwelcoming sea - plus, they were ruined in various spots, and got even narrower every now and then. Surely she had gone trough worse passages, but she had to admit that impractical stair had the power to give enough vertigos even to her. She smirked - she highly doubted someone had ever used those stairs except from Sephiroth - and the ones who had built them, probably.

The sun was burning her pale skin, high from the azure clean sky - so much time had passed since she had last exposed herself to the sunrays for a long time. Fortunately, the intense wind roaring in her ears, remnant of the tempest which had invested the palace that night, kept her cool - her head spinning because of the hotness was the last thing she needed there on those unsafe stairs.
When she heard footsteps not far behind her, of someone starting to descend the stairway to reach her, she widened her eyes. But before she could turn back, the voice revealed her who her visitor was.

"Tifa - don't tell me you're going to commit suicide- 's not worth it, believe me." Zack almost had to yell, to have his voice overcome the wind.

He surely looked like another man, if compared to yesterday. His dark hair, which she had last saw caked with the sand, were shining brightly into the sun while being messed by the gusts. He jumped with no difficult down the stairs two-by-two, even if there was still a worrying bandage coming into view from under his turtleneck black vest, which covered his whole left arm - the same one he was unwisely using to sustain himself on the rock-wall, by the way.

Tifa, without knowing why, felt absolutely terrified and went instantly woozy at the sight of him descending those stairs so quickly and recklessly. She moved a few hurried and equally unsafe paces towards him.
"Hell - Zack, be careful!" she squeaked, trying to catch him even if there was no need.

With his last jump, they found each other on the same tiny stair. Now, her head was actually spinning for her sudden previous movement, so she rested her back on the rocks, sticking to the wall as if the stair was not a meter large, but barely a few inches. She kept opening and closing her eyes - the former to catch glimpses of Zack's deep purplish-blue eyes dazzling and happy like the first time she had seen them, the latter to try and stop the dizziness which was menacing to let her slip down that never-ending stairway.
Zack, instead, was in the outer part of the stair, one of his feet even leaning partially out into the nothingness. But he was perfectly relaxed, while trying to put his body between Tifa and the precipice.

"Tifa - I'm a soldier" his voice this time was vibrant and captivating, nothing which could remind not even by far the exhausted and defeated tone he had used with her yesterday. And, definitely, that didn't look like a game of make pretend. It was just Zack, back. "There is no way an unsafe stair can scare me." he just snapped. Then, he tilted his head just a little "But you - you're not looking good. You got terribly paler in the last few seconds."

Tifa covered her face for a moment, trying to forget the image of Zack jumping carelessly down the stairway.
"Unh - yeah. Actually, I think I have this disorder - when I see someone doing something idiotically hazardous like you did a minute ago, I happen to feel bad in their place" she explained with an embarrassed smile.

Zack arched a brow.
"That sounds like you care - you know, I had actually given up all hope"

She blushed heavily. It had been easy to go through that when she had been completely intoxicated by Sephiroth's presence. But now that Zack was in front of her, the memory of the way she had dealt with him wounded when they had met in that corridor was vivid and painful.
"Zack - I - for yesterday.. I - actually" she didn't even know what she was trying to say with that pathetic attempt - but she was feeling the urge to do it.

But he instantly shook his head, raising his hand and laughing limpidly.
"Tifa - please. Save that, really. There's no need. There is nothing you really need to apol-"

"No - listen." it was her turn to interrupt him. She clutched to his arm in an almost violent way, trying desperately to lock her gaze with his to give away the way she felt "I am sorry. I was - the worst."

There was a pause of silence. Though, it was not unnatural nor uncomfortable, because the roaring wind was making its job by filling it, both their black hair flying around, sometimes coming in touch with each other.

Then, Zack attempted to caress her cheek, but let his hand fall down before he could even touch her, with no apparent reason. He gazed for a while at the wavy sea down below, and then his eyes returned to Tifa, half sly and half teasing.
"Yeah - I guess you were."

Tifa raised her head, eyes wide shut at his bluntness, but she couldn't suppress a giggle despite all. When he laughed in her face, too, she punched him with no conviction in the middle of his chest, hoping not to hit any wound.

"Ouch" he joked, rolling his eyes, not trying to stop her. "This too, as if all the rest hadn't been enough"

When their laughter vanished, Zack finally found the force to mess her black hair for a second.

"You know, Tifa. I wasn't just trying to use a cliché sentence before, when I told you there was nothing you really needed to apologise for." his deep purple orbs, narrower than usual, fell on her with a sort of sympathy, this time. "I've been living by his side for a couple of decades. So, I just happen to know what he's capable of doing to people, on purpose sometimes, but just for existing so many others. He makes their world revolve around him - defines their existence. Until they reach the point they become even quite happy to let him."

Now, Tifa's expression had become blank and almost scared.
It was not that she had never had similar thoughts - just listening to them said aloud by a third person, who was not involved in that at all, was striking for sure. But, once again - could she really define Zack as 'not involved'? By the way, he was practically admitting it; maybe he had better ways than hers to hide it - he didn't throw his arms around his neck as soon as he spotted him, for example - but was he really unaffected by the General's existence?
She didn't reply for now - she just bit her lower lip, scrutinizing Zack, trying to understand if he was talking about himself, too.

"I won't even mention my cousin - because that was just a few days ago, and - and.. that was really one of the worst things that had ever happened to me - seeing her that way - and I just couldn't-" he paused, with a ghastly shadow on his face, but it was clear that he was not going to bring up the subject again. Suddenly, an amused smirk appeared on his face "The last one, was today. There was that ShinRa's pseudo first lady, Scarlet. I had never seen her so worn-out. I mean, she plays the fucking blonde Barbie all the time usually, if you know the type, and an out-of-place lash probably is to her a tragedy comparable with the end of the world. Well - this time she had even black make up running down her face, and her blond hair was so far from perfect. When she met Sephiroth, she has hugged him - not with a passion, ok, but she wasn't that far from it. Plus, she was smiling sincerely - never knew Barbie could do such wonders - she had never showed that to me, at least."

She knew that wasn't Zack's purpose. But, still, she felt a pang in her heart when she imagined Sephiroth and Scarlet hugging. There was just a question bothering her - did he hug Scarlet back the same way she had done with her? Had he-?
In the end, not a single word Zack had pronounced seemed to have reach its point - which was warning her. It was just too late.

Definitely he didn't miss it, because he shook his head slowly with a half surrendering smile.
"Completely lost, aren't you?" he just sighed. He wasn't expecting an answer, so he eventually went on "Anyway - I'm not here to lecture you, don't worry. Not only I don't believe that would work, but doing that stuff it's not my thing, also."

Tifa hid her face behind her hand. She wished Zack hadn't talked about Sephiroth - he was a cheerful and pleasant person to have around.. But that subject was just-
"So what're you up to now, Zack? You gained notoriety too, with this Weapon episode?" she asked with a knowing smile. "You'll have a life even more full of top-secret missions, parties, and girls from now, right?"
'Damn glittering world I will never get'

He scratched his neck.
"Well, actually - yes. I'm in a pause between two interviews, right now." he even watched the sun up in the sky, to figure out if midday was past or not. "After all, I'm the Weapon's murderer's Lieutenant, and I was there in the desert with him, conscious, all the time - mh, let's say, slightly all the time." he admitted. But the pride in his voice hadn't still completely faded "And no - there's no way I'm going to anticipate you the details of the fight - you're gonna read them when they'll be released on the newspaper, like everyone else." he stuck his tongue out. "Unless Sephiroth doesn't tell you" he added more slyly.

Tifa laughed.
"I don't think I will ask him" her voice was a timid whisper. Noticing that Zack was looking up at the sun again, she sighed "You can go, Zack. I don't want you to be late somewhere because of me. Thanks for the visit, really. Mh-" she was still too worried for what she had done to him the previous day to be too kind - she was just afraid he would have mistaken it for hypocrisy.
Indeed, she wanted to ask him to have a walk with her down to the sea, but that would have sounded really inappropriate. So she just ran a hand through her hair, to remove it from her face, where the wind kept scattering it, and lowered her gaze.

Zack observed her briefly, apparently pondering something.

Then, with impressive quietness and easiness, he kissed Tifa on her lips. That was not even a kiss - it was barely a graze - something so contained it might appear like a simple hand shake.
Her back was still on the rocks, and both her hands were gripping on it, too, while Zack's sane one was leaning at the side of her head.
That had been so unexpected she hadn't had the time to process the thing in her mind - she actually couldn't think about anything - she could just stare at him, not in awe, not in rage. Though she was black minded, she felt compelled to say something, so she opened her mouth to save the appearances, to show him she was giving it a try, at least.

But he was the one who spoke first, still firm in front of her, completely unashamed.
"I was serious with you Tifa - I was serious all the way through."

And from his tone, she knew he unmistakably meant it.

--

Tifa had lost the conception of time, but she could easily gather from the sun now slightly pending to the West that midday was gone.
Her confusion did nothing except growing bigger - and yes, she still hadn't entered the palace, afraid of which new mess she would have found in there. She felt safer out in the nature, in company of the wind, now slowly ceasing - the sensation of freedom that invested her every time she looked at the limpid horizon was inexplicable.

Behind her, the palace - a cage full of psychos.
Sephiroth, Scarlet, Zack, Hojo, all those hungry journalists, all those merciless ShinRa men - and yeah, herself, of course. She was so mired in all that like everyone else, she was fearing it was too late to have her old personality back.
There, on the top of the most overhanging cliff, she could perceive the wildness of the Northern Continent more than she had on the derelict stair she had left a while ago.
In front of her, nothingness for countless miles.
Calling nothingness.
Was nothingness the freedom from all those annoying stitches in her mind - from that light yet relentless angst?

She didn't notice someone was coming until his foot stomped out of the soft overgrown grass, on the corroded rocks on the edge of the cliff, making them cringle, a meter from her.
Unaccompanied by his sarcastic smirk, unaccompanied by his hitting remarks he used to introduce himself with, unaccompanied by the surrendering pain of the previous day, there he was - her short haired General.

And in the moment she placed her eyes on him, she knew she had fooled herself another time - her angst wasn't relentless at all, because it had just disappeared.
Discouraged by that clear sign, which elucidated to her pathetically plainly the way she felt, just in case she was still trying to ignore it, she sunk her head in her hand.

Sephiroth noticed the whole dynamic, but remained silent - he even kept respectful the smirk on his lips. He reached Tifa's side, but instead of looking at her, he looked where she was looking at - the sea in front of them. He was dressed in the same way they had wanted him during official interviews - the way he hated most - the way everyone else liked most. He remembered even Aeris, telling him he looked sexy in his uniform. The huge new gold medal on his chest was gathering the sunlight as if it was a black hole, and he almost felt its heaviness on his heart.

Tifa didn't greet him, too.
It had never happened to her before - but this time she felt ashamed for the way she was dressed, as if she couldn't stand the comparison with him. She tried to pull an edge of fabric of the oversized vest she was wearing up her bare shoulder, but there was no way. So she stared back at the sea with a childish pout.
'This is so confusing-'
The reality was, that after what had happened the day before, having him by her side without doing anything was painful and difficult. She could feel her hands drawn to his hair, her mouth to his neck, and-

But he had walked there, and he was wisely maintaining a distance. It was definitely not up to her to change the situation, even if it was a struggle. She couldn't, because in the end there was nothing between them.
'What were you expecting - Sephiroth to begin treating you like a lover, all of a sudden?'
She could suffocate the urge of touching him - as for the rest, she gave in and turned to him. And he was beautiful. He was so beautiful.

Sephiroth slowly turned to her too, but just as he had expected, when he had her in his sight, she had turned back to the sea already. And this time, he couldn't help a chuckle.
"You can look at me. It's not strictly forbidden"

It was hard to believe that it was still possible to kid about this - but so was it, if he was doing that. Tifa snorted and lowered her gaze in embarrassment. Then, when she was sure he wasn't looking at her anymore, she turned to him once again, even if she had considered the hypothesis that he had done that on purpose, just to allow her to look at him. Her eyes left his face for a moment, moving lower; she spotted his trembling pale hand sticking out the dark sleeve of the uniform, and she widened her eyes in surprise when she noticed that he was rhythmically moving his fingers, clutching them together and opening them back.

"Your hand..!" was the first two words she was able to tell him.

When their eyes met, they were both more relaxed now.

Sephiroth took a step closer, with a dry smile. He showed her his hand naturally, clutching his fingers again not far from her nose. She cloud discern clearly a chirurgical scar that started from the centre of his palm, and disappeared under his sleeve.
Tifa raised her own hand under the impulse of touching his, but she stopped, still feeling too invading - but it was Sephiroth the one who squeezed her fingers between his, lightly and insecurely, for an instant. She knew the hesitation was a product of his still recovering nerves, she knew the confident smile on his lips was just for the satisfaction of showing that yes, after all he had his hand back - after all that incident hadn't marked him with any handicap. After all he was the best.
Still, in the moment he had touched her hand, her breath was gone.

"You said it was a wound without return" she observed with a whisper, drawing her hand back to avoid any other stupid temptation.

"Yeah, that was the diagnosis" Sephiroth replied calmly.

"I thought - you - I mean.. I thought you might be unable to move it again for the rest of your life. Instead, just the day after -" Tifa paused, muted by her own thoughts "You really are not human."

Sephiroth laughed even if he knew that it wasn't a joke.
"This time, the credit really has to be given to someone else" he become suddenly serious, while looking at his trembling hand.

She didn't understand at first, and even during the process of examining all the possibilities with a frown, her eyes remained fixed on his fingers.

But Sephiroth's explanation didn't take long to arrive.
"It was Hojo" his voice was undecipherable - surely Tifa had never heard him talking that strange way "Hojo healed the wound for me." for a moment, it looked like he wasn't going to continue - but when his eyes met Tifa's expectant ones, he sighed "After the mission, I didn't hear a single word from him, nor did he come to visit me in any of the hospital they had brought me to for first aid. It's not difficult to understand why" he commented with a knowing smile "This morning, just a few hours before the first official interview, I had this lenitive surgery planned. I was in the operating theatre already, but still conscious, when he walked in, wearing his white coat, followed only by his assistant, Lucretia. He grabbed my hand, examined the wound, muttered something like 'bunch of incompetent fools', and asked everyone to leave the room except Lucretia." he was silent for an instant - he closed his eyes, as if he was feeling back there "The surgery has lasted about half an hour - and in the whole process, you know what? He has never looked me into my eyes - never said one word. He moved around me the same way one would move around a sleeping dragon, afraid of waking it" Sephiroth chucked, and examined his clutching fingers again "Yeah - Hojo was afraid of me. But at least, he gave me my hand back. I guess he is a genius, after all"

"He's your father" the sentence escaped Tifa's lips.

Sephiroth smiled, tilted his head just a little, but didn't reply. Instead, he took a step closer to the edge of the cliff, and looked down.
"Makes one fuzzy, eh?"

Tifa, who had been looking at it for so long that she had almost get acquainted, moved closer to the edge to.
"Honestly, I like it." then she turned to Sephiroth - the smile on her lips in that moment was sly and provocative, and one of her long black bangs flashed in front of her scarlet eyes because of the wind "It makes me want to escape"

A blunt confession.
But there was no shame in her voice, no rage in his eyes.

Of course, Sephiroth accepted the challenge.
"So do it. You can escape, if you dive - you'll be free" he peered down the cliff, and pushed with the tip of his foot a small stone off the edge - it disappeared from their view soon after, and they couldn't even see it reach the wavy sea's surface. "It's not deadly. I have done it a few times, actually"

Tifa sneered.
"The fact that you have done it doesn't make it less deadly, you know."

"Very funny, Lockhart." he arched his eyebrow. "But once again, cliff diving is a notorious extreme sport. I'm not the only one on Gea who's capable of it." he added with a kind of modesty that seemed out of place coming from his lips.

But Tifa was still lost looking down the cliff.
"Say, you were serious? You have really jumped down here?" she stepped back, and back again, leaving at least two meters between her and the edge of the cliff. "I mean, down here exactly."

"I have." he confirmed "Last time, it was last summer. I usually choose this point, because it's the highest cliff you can find here around the palace. Why do you as-"

Out of the blue.

He felt the rush of air - air which smelled like her reaching his nostrils, grazing his right cheek.
When he realised what had happened, he was alone. He startled briefly in his place, looking around half-puzzled, without realising that a frozen smile had appeared on his lips.

Tifa Lockhart had jumped down the cliff.

.

The water was brutally cold, she had to admit.
She hadn't even left to herself the time to be scared of the jump, because her decision had been taken in less than one second - yeah, of course she had thought her heart was going to stop while falling down for those countless meters; but now she realised the true troubles were just to begin.
Adrenaline was still pumping up to her head, and she felt shaky and lost into something she couldn't control. Now that she was among them, she discovered that the waves she reckoned so small and innocuous from the great height of the cliff, with their cute white foam on their top, were actually more crushing and wild than she had expected - she had no problems in floating, but she kept feeling dragged by the sea current here and there, without really having the power to decide her direction. When a wave which was bigger than the other ones occasionally came, her head disappeared for a moment behind the surface - since she had no time to close her eyes, it was like being yanked down into something beautifully blue and quieter - but also icy and unwelcoming. She tried to look up to spot Sephiroth on the top of the cliff - but she realised she had difficulties even in identifying where the cliff was.

It was in one of the moments the waves were submerging her - underneath the surface, standing out the usual low gurgling, a louder noise of myriads of little bubbles bursting, a white shadow somewhere near yet not near enough.
When she emerged, she realised she was laughing loud, despite all the mess and the asperity of the situation -she could hear her own hysterical laugh overwhelming the splashing and the buzz in her head.

Tifa saw Sephiroth.
She saw him struggling against the waves just like her, she heard his laughter following hers.

They both tried to swim towards each other, but the sea kept pulling them apart for various instants - still, their gazes were locked securely in every moment that it was allowed, and they were laughing, laughing gazes. Finally, a favourable wave, and Tifa found herself smashed against Sephiroth. Her hands gripped automatically on the wet fabric of his uniform, while his sane hand on her cheek was a hot island in that surrounding coldness, and it had the power of reminding her she actually was freezing.

"You're the most insane woman I've ever met, Lockhart - you're pure madness" Sephiroth almost choked for the waves and his own laughter.

And Tifa closed her eyes, all the salty drops on her face sparkling in the sun, all her raven locks plastered casually on her cheeks - she was laughing so limpidly that her teeth, white like the spume of the sea, were in sight. In that situation, any kind of hierarchy seemed so far that she think she had full right to touch his jaw and kiss him on the cheek for a considerably long time, breathing deeply his scent, her nose on his cheekbone. She couldn't breath - she had a hole in her chest - that was why, even if they ended up submerged by a wave, she just didn't care. It made no difference to her.
Up the surface again, Tifa felt the sunshine hitting the bare skin of her shoulder - her soaked vest was sliding down her arm, while it was glued on her chest. But she could only look at Sephiroth showing her the perfect side of his face, since he had turned to kiss her hand. She didn't let a second pass before she kissed his cheek another time.

And they were stupidly under the surface again, as if they had forgotten how to swim.
The next time they re-emerged, a wave splashed against the back of Tifa's head, and messed up her hair even more. As for Sephiroth, the bright smile wasn't still leaving his lips - and that was the most astonishing thing she had ever seen.

"Hell - I can't swim with this" he snorted, breaking the contact with Tifa and trying to get rid of his uniform. But a grimace of pain appeared on his face - moving his hurt arm was still impossible, after all.

"Don't!" Tifa shrieked, and the second after she had circled his neck with her thin arms, hiding her worried, worried face in his neck, kissing it. When she broke away, it was just to let him look in her eyes, which seemed huge right in that moment "Please, don't hurt yourself anymore, Seph"

She missed the instant that followed the one in which Sephiroth's smile had disappeared - everything she knew after, was that they were kissing; without remembering who had begun, but understanding perfectly that Sephiroth's tongue drew her so out of herself that she forgot she had to swim. She could have drown forever, barely noticing the glacial water covering her.

Actually, it was Sephiroth the one who, shoving down with his legs, brought the two of them back on the surface.
"Mad woman you are." he joked, pulling her away "You should focus more on the fact that here the sea's at least twenty meters deep"

But like a child who cares only about her new game, ignoring completely everything else, Tifa kissed him again, letting the water surround them. This time, underwater she broke the kiss, and opened her eyes - there was the darker shade of Sephiroth uniform, and the row of golden buttons glittering in its middle; she undid them with rapid movements, and when Sephiroth dragged her and himself back up, she helped the uniform slide off his arms, trying her best not to hurt him.
Now the sun could burn one of his pale upper arms, too, while Tifa kissed his shoulder, licking the salt away in the brief moment in which the waves didn't inundate it.

His uniform was sinking down, and downer, the glow of the golden medal destined to fade away in the sea's depths.
But when Sephiroth reclaimed her mouth back, they sank again.

Tifa let her hands sneak everywhere on his bare chest, which was getting cold like everything else there around. She was unable to swim - Sephiroth's hand insinuated under her vest, grazing her bare skin, upper, upper - and she lost it. When he pulled her back up the surface, he had his fingers on her breast, and a loud moan escaped her lips - a kind of moan she had never heard coming from herself all the time she had been with Cloud.

That was not love.
Yet they both refused to believe it was just sex.

It was something morbid, wrong, insane. Maybe it was Stockholm Syndrome, maybe it was a possession disorder.
Maybe if she hadn't been slave, maybe if he hadn't been his master - maybe it could have worked. Maybe in a far, far future - maybe in another dimension.

Still, sure thing was, this time there was no going back.

--

Professor Gast walked up the stairs, holding the platter with Aeris' dinner - but halfway already, a bad sensation came over him. His heart skip one beat at the emptiness he felt growing stronger every stair he left behind - the echo of his own steps on the old wood had never sounded so void. When he reached her door, he laid the platter on the floor, slowly. The suspicion was fading away, making place for sureness.
Gast tried to open the usual locked door, without brutal force as always.

But this time, the door opened.
The noise which accompanied it, due to the fact that the door hadn't moved for days, was a sinister creaking.

There was no surprise in Gast's eyes at the sight of the empty room - paradoxically, what shocked him more was the freezing cold in which the room had fallen, since the window was open.
There was nothing left - nothing for him, nothing for Ifalna.
His eyes scanned the room again, more attentively, but he knew it had no purpose - if Aeris had wanted to leave a note, she would have left it in sight.

'Nothing - there is nothing in her here except him' The thought brought something else to his mind - something that left him suspended between rage, proud for his daughter, and resignation. 'This is the first time - the first time Aeris disobeys.'
The first time the gracious swan leaves her nest.
The first time the gracious swan dared to fly free.

There were liquefied snowflakes glittering on the wooden floor, most of them gathering in small pools now - and there was something else, glittering pink on her bedcover - Aeris' mobile phone.

Gast rushed, feeling a new gush of hope surging in his heart - maybe after all she had left a message - maybe she-
But when he pushed a casual button, he understood - the phone lightened up, showing him the last screen Aeris herself must have seen.
There was just a text message opened - the answer phone report.

Gast knew that number - and the number of time it was listed on the screen in front of him was something hard, hard to believe - it was something utterly shocking.

Yet, it was true.

End of chapter 10

Author'sNotes: Here we go. I have no words to apologise for the everlong wait - I guess I've lost all my fans and no one will read this, because it's too late. But I want to publish this anyway, I just have to. I suppose I could tell you life has changed me and overwhelmed me in a bad, bad way, but once again, it's no excuse. Thank you, thank you so much to all the ones who're reading, to all the ones who were reading in the past, to everyone that has made me believe my story was worth something. Thank you Stacey - you have been so important in this, and not just because of beta-reading - you made me believe in 'Subservience' itself.
And now, for all the ones who're still there, shall you proceed with the epilogue, and let me know if you've reached the very end ;).
Take care,

Swamp-Eyes