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)))) ClOuDs Of DoUbT, sUn Of AcCePtAnCe ((((
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Good : Morning ? Afternoon ? Evening ? The choice is yours !
Alright, so basically, I have 5 people to particularly thank this time :
on top of the pyramid :extraordinary banana, who really made my day by both reviewing and favoriting
in the middle of the pyramid : IcyKixz236, who reviewed,Crzyratlady, who read… yet did NOT review yet (why ? good question…), but on the other hand did favorite and review SPOOKY, my horror one-shot (so, dear Ash, I'm thanking ya here, but for another story ! :D) and finally I'mJustMeAJ, who nicely decided to put the fiction in both her/his "followed" and "favorites" baskets
at the basis of the pyramid : , who is now following it.
Thanxxxx all five for reading, and either reviewing, or favoriting, or following… or any combination of the three ! You guys made my day !
Sorry if I delayed the start of my next chappy for 5 days (I'm starting this on October 21st only) : I've been off duty 3 days in a row, but did NOT have access to a computer, so there was no way I could begin typing next chapter before. It will somewhat delay the update, but I trust you'll be understanding about that… won't ya ? *cautiously glance at ya all*
N'JOY !
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Raven was lying in Jinx's bed, after leaving hers to the Hex, yet she was not sleeping.
Her eyes weren't even closed.
The violet irises were staring at the ceiling… but not absent-mindedly. Even on the contrary : the half-demon may have been fixing her gaze on the white surface above, but inside, she was more than focused, her mind set on a precise problem..
I really like Jinx as a friend. That's undeniable. I always feel comfortable around her and have been enjoying her company more than anybody else's, lately. So I'm really happy that she became part of the Teen Titans and that I get to see her every day, not a single doubt about it. That's for friendship. But is there more than friendship ?
She gave a long, deep sigh and briefly closed her eyes, leaving them shut for a few seconds prior to staring again at the top of Jinx's room.
What I felt yesterday evening, when I was with her in my room, was… really powerful ! My dark energy got loose and did some damage back there… and I'm certain that, would this emotion be related to mere amity, it wouldn't have come out THAT intense ! It's impossible ! Unless, naturally, in case I would have been panicked about Jinx, her life being at stake, with a high probability of her passing away. Only in such an extreme case would I have experienced such a powerful display of energy about sheer friendship.
She licked her lips, more thoughtful than ever.
So, if this unusual manifestation of loose power isn't related to friendship, it can only mean one thing : I feel more for Jinx. More than just the basic friendly bond. And I can't deny she's attractive. She definitely IS ! But the thing is… can I do that ? Can I feel that way for… a female buddy of mine ? It's… it's against the rules ! Against the normal way of life ! It does exist, yes, but it's… outside of conventions' scope ! Because men and women are supposed to pair together for a good reason : to perpetuate the human species via mating. That's why homosexual are to some extent unconventional : not in a negative, derogatory manner, but because they can't have babies with each other, and therefore can't ensure the vital biological need of creating life.
That sounded rather logical. She viewed the thing from a mere scientific perspective, Knowledge obviously at work right now, and without an ounce of disrespect to homosexuals, which she actually did respect : her next thought proved it.
But then again, even if they stand out in society, couples of the same gender should be allowed to live their love freely, as long as they imitate the heterosexual couples by remaining in the boundaries set by the etiquette : love is fine provided it didn't overstepped decency's limits, both in heterosexuality and homosexuality. So there is no good reason to be that critical against gays : if they love each other, why should they ever have to hide ?
She stopped her train of thoughts for a few seconds, blinking at the ceiling.
What do I feel for Jinx ?I thought it was just friendship. Or rather, that's what it was initially. But now… I really like being close to her, and even feel her touch, and watch her… I also enjoyed stroking her forehead, upon checking on her temperature, for a possible fever… That's… that's not just friendship. But can I live with that ? Can I really love… a girl ?
The poor virgin, half-demonic human had never been in love, even with a boy, and her first feelings were for a… female ? Which made her be non-conventional. Somewhat abnormal, but not in a pejorative way : just different than most people.
And given that she was already intrinsically "abnormal", courtesy of her demonic genes… that would make her stand out even more !
Could she cope with being that different from humans ?
Part of her was attracted to Jinx, undoubtedly attracted, but another part really dreaded to "go there" and be stigmatized as a lesbian, or even worse : as a "dike", a "butch", how they said in the insulting macho circles !
I'm already different, so should I really care about becoming more different ?
That was a valid point.
And yet… yet she just couldn't make up her mind about accepting the feelings swelling inside of her.
She closed her eyes and, giving up her brooding over for a moment, just let her mind wander freely.
And where did it wander to ?
To Jinx's image.
She could picture the pink-haired smiling nicely at her and putting her hand over her arm, or even over her own hand… and squeezing it.
But she just couldn't fully enjoy it. There remained an anxious part within her.
Timid… I really like you, but you aren't making my life any simpler…
She briskly reopened her eyes and realized that she badly needed a cup of herbal tea, so she sighed and teleported away.
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"Ah, Raven, there you are ! We thought you would be sleeping in !" said Robin on a teasing tone as the empath got to the table.
Jinx was there, and the violet eyes immediately went for the pink ones.
"How are you feeling, Jinx ?" asked the healer, not sitting yet given that she wanted to make that tea.
"Better now, thank you, Rae. I'm most indebted to you for helping me back in good shape" explained the new Titan, smiling wide.
"You're welcome. That was nothing."
"On the contrary ! That WAS something ! And something really important for me ! You healed me ! That isn't "nothing" to me !"
Her exclamatory speech hinted to the Hex being almost indignant at Raven relativizing her own role, which had proved crucial in Jinx's getting better.
"Alright. It wasn't nothing. But again, you're really welcome."
Rae gave a small smile, and her interlocutor a wider one, as she nodded happily.
The Goth felt her face heat up at the cute smile, and therefore briskly looked away, briefly glancing at her friends, who were all looking at her with sustained attention.
"I'm gonna go make some tea" she quickly let out, almost as an excuse.
But before she turned away, she rapidly glanced at Jinx, who was still staring and smiling at her.
The Dark Titan hurried to the kitchen, wondering if the looks of her teammates were following her movement. She almost felt being eyed at.
All the time it took for the kettle to boil, then for her to prepare the herbal mixture, and finally pour the scalding hot water into the mug, was just respite time, which avoided her to face Jinx and have to control her power. So she really made the most of that time, somewhat anxious about the moment she would be sitting at the table and meet the cat-like look of her fellow wizard.
But finally she had to take place with her team and handle her emotions the best she could.
Keep it in check… keep it in check… Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos…
Raven listened to what her teammates had to say, trying to get distracted enough to give herself some emotional space and relax, even to the smallest extent.
But no matter how hard she tried, her violet gaze was like magnetized to the pink one, and she couldn't help regularly glance at the horn-haired one.
Each time their gazes met, one of them would lower her eyes and gave a brief, embarrassed smile, focusing on her meal before trying to pay attention to the others, Raven additionally having to master her emotions by inwardly intoning her mantra over and over again.
And each time, after a brief visual break, one of them looked at the other, and either found the other already staring, or the other soon directed her gaze back, and in both cases, the sorceresses ended up "eyeballing" each other.
Once breakfast was over, the Titans split for their activities : the boys went for poker games, since Cyborg has challenged his two male teammates, saying that he would "outdo them big time", Starfire brought out some pen and paper and settle on the table to draw some original dresses – she had taken a fancy to imagining and designing dresses, lately – and Raven started for the double door leading out of the common room. (1)
Jinx hadn't been proposed to play poker, as the boys wanted to keep it a "boy matter", but Starfire had asked her to join in dress drawing. The cat-eyed witch had politely declined the offer, stating that she didn't draw well – which was true – but after the Tamaranean had insisted, that she might join later on – which was neither true nor false, as she was uncertain about it.
The new team member would rather have had some activity with Raven, but the Dark Titan was currently walking away, about to exit the room.
It's really strange. She watched me several times during breakfast, and now she's leaving without a word. But then again, Cyborg told me she had her own nature, and could appear distant, while it's just her usual behaviour, even with friends. She's a tad strange… but I love her nonetheless.
The half-demon, as for her, wanted to meditate, to help herself regain her emotional balance, so she was about to leave for her room…
… when she suddenly came to a halt.
Her 6th sense let her know that she should turn around.
She did, and her purple stare stopped on the motionless silhouette observing her.
Obviously, Jinx was hoping that either she could accompany Raven or that Raven would come back to propose her to do something together.
The emotionless girl – or supposedly emotionless, since she had after all shown emotions lately – bit her lip, feeling guilt overwhelm her.
All her friends were gone, and only she remained there, waiting on her own in the middle of the common room.
And the now lonely girl clearly watched Raven in this very moment… meaning she was hoping for a gesture from her. Something that would involve her and make her feel that the cold teen wanted to spend time with her.
The Azarathian closed her eyes, the perspective of meditation always drawing away, away… but Friendship had to be priority !
She reopened her eyes, which now held a firm determination, and floated over to the other female wizard.
"Jinx… I saw you were looking at me, and that you remained standing. So I wondered if you would be interested in a chess game. How about that ?"
The vertical pupils stared straight into the round ones.
"Well… I would have loved to, but I don't know how to play that game…"
The outline of a smile started to stretch Raven's lips.
"What if I teach you ?"
Jinx's face lit up.
"You would do that ?"
Her voice was full of hope.
The smile grew wider on Rae's face.
"Of course. I'll be glad to play with you."
"And so will I !"
The black-dressed witch was back in high spirits, and the blue-cloaked one herself felt better than she was before, wondering about their growing relationship.
The Dark Titan was especially relieved that her latest friend hadn't taken hold of her hand or hugged her by way of thanking, because in such an eventuality… it would have been quite possible for her power to go off again and produce new damage in the room. The current volatility of her feelings, whose balance had been broken, was indeed likely to cause minor issues, yet thankfully no havoc.
"Let's go to my room." concluded the half-demon.
Thanks to teleportation, only a few seconds later, they were sitting across from each other at the table set in Raven's room, and on which lay the chessboard and its 32 pieces.
"This is the king" started Rae as she put her pointer finger on the corresponding piece. "The goal is to corner the king of your opponent, so that he cannot move anymore once it's being threatened. So everything must be done to both attack the other's king and protect your own. I will explain you in details how each piece moves on the board."
The demonic human took all the time to tell her friend how the whole game functioned, and as she kept glancing up at her fellow magician, while showing the pieces' moves, she could see the former criminal stare at her with intensity. Actually, with… softness in her look. And Rae had much pleasure observing those cat-like pupils, those pink irises, this smile on the thin grey lips that resembled her own so much…
But Raven was focused. She had to be, to make sure she was constantly "emotionally-stable", all the more since she had not meditated yet that day, sacrificing that unavoidable practice for the chess tutoring. And therefore, putting Jinx first, before anything else, even her precious meditation.
Renouncing the latter was no easy thing for Raven, but she had taken pity on her female buddy.
That and, despite her hesitations about her feelings for Jinx… she still enjoyed her company so much !
And sought that company.
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Much later on, Jinx raised her eyes from the board and grinned at Raven.
"Thanks for the chess lesson, Rae ! It was nice playing with you ! And it's a really interesting game indeed !"
The addressee's mouth arched up.
"You're welcome. And glad you like it. It's definitely my favourite game. It requires a lot of focus and analysis, which makes it last long, but it's worth the wait. Patience isn't a problem if the activity is captivating. I hope it wasn't too long for you ?"
Her vis-à-vis pondered it quickly.
"Hum… Well, it did take time to play, and I had to do a lot of thinking, but it definitely was stimulating." There was a short silence. "And you're a great teacher, by the way."
The Hex grinned at the Goth, who returned the beam.
"Thank you. You're a great student yourself."
And, quite unexpectedly, and totally unlike herself, the emotionless Titan winked.
Jinx chuckled.
"Uh uh, thanks ! And you're really cute when you wink !"
But as soon as she was finished speaking, the black-clad female put the tips of her joined fingers over mouth, eyes goggling.
Crap, how did I ended up with such a slip of the tongue ? I'm not supposed to tell her she looks cute ! Damn and damn again ! What will she think ?
The empath, as for her, stopped smiling as she felt heat wrap her face.
She quickly licked her lips.
Her eyes briskly lowered to the chess board, a change having drawn her attention.
The pieces had all just got encased in dark energy !
Jinx had also noticed and was now watching the magical phenomenon with curiosity.
But before any of the girls could utter a word, all pieces were swiftly cast in many different directions !
Jinx let out a shriek and looked at Raven, her wide eyes giving away her dread.
"What… What just happened ?"
The Violet Sorceress let out a long sigh.
"My emotions are at work again. I'm sorry for this outburst. I just… lost control."
Her pink-eyed friend bit her lip.
"Will you… Will you be okay, Rae ?"
Her interlocutor nodded, making a pout with her lips, before thinking of something important.
"Jinx, please excuse me, but I need to meditate for a while. Only meditation can help me control my emotions and prevent them from going off that way. I can't tell exactly how long this will take. And alas, for this, I need to be alone. So… I'm sorry, but I have to kindly ask you to wait for me in the common room. It will certainly be long, so maybe try to check with Starfire what you two can do in the meantime. I'll do my best to be back as soon as possible. Is that alright with you ?"
The new Titan felt a tad disappointed about having to leave Raven, with whom she would gladly have spent more time, but on the other hand she understood Raven's need. She had realized that her fellow magician had some very specific issues with the management of her emotions, and that's what forced her to regularly ensure the uphold of her inner balance.
"No problem, Rae. I fully understand and will leave you alone for meditation. And yeah, I think I can help Starfire with dress drawing."
She concluded the last part with a wink, and thus did Raven's smile return.
"Thank you, Jinx."
"No, thank you, Raven ! I'm so happy we are friends. Thank you for everything !"
The half-demonic smile widened.
"Have a good meditation !" concluded the once bad girl.
The chakra girl nodded, her face still hot, but her emotions currently channelized. She watched as the "good witch" closed the door, still smiling at her, and remained there for long seconds, staring at the closed door, a distracted smile floating on her lips as she thought of that nice teenager who took always more and more importance in her existence…
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The Dark Titan landed in a desert plain, under a dark sky, and, lifting her arms, she made a complex gesture, then put her arms back down.
Eight silhouettes instantly emerged from the ground, identical to Raven save for their cloaks' colours, all different from each other, making it seem that a "living rainbow" had sprouted from the depths of the soil.
"Welcome back, Master !" said Knowledge, who stood ahead of her sisters, given that she was considered the (unofficial) leader of the emoticlones. Doing so, she spoke in the name of all.
All of them, including the unruly Rage, then silently bowed at their Master and waited. (2)
"Hello to you all !" Raven greeted them. She gave a panoramic look to all eight of her emotions embodiments before carrying on : "I have asked you to come because I want to debate something important about my emotional state. I want to make sure about my exact feelings for Jinx. If I consider her only as a friend or if…" She swallowed. "…if there is more than just a buddy relationship."
Her violet stare turned to the right and stopped on Love. She didn't say a word though, given that her expectation was quite obvious : she wanted her most tender emotion to express her own feelings about the one who troubled Raven's mind so much.
And the purple one complied.
"I consider Jinx in a most fondly manner now. I won't lie to you, Master, I would never dare to : I'm smitten with her. She is so sweet, so caring, so gentle to you, and also so cute… I cannot get her out of my mind anymore. So, as far as I'm concerned, I hope that you and Jinx end up together ! I'm almost praying for that !"
That spoke for itself. Crystal clear. Love… loved Jinx, and hoped she, Raven, would eventually fall in love for good with the pink-eyed sorceress, and that the two female wizards would end up together.
She loves her. Not a single doubt about it. But can I love her myself ? My Love emotion is infatuated, but curiously enough, I'm not convinced myself. How is that ? If she is fond of Jinx, why am I not as well ? Why am I doubting ?
That was a fundamental question. But now, as for the answer…
"Thank you, Love. I had an inkling you would be speaking that way, given my recent emotional imbalance about Jinx…" deadpanned the usually emotionless girl, before eyeing the other emotions one after the other, wondering who would express her opinion or her feelings next.
"As for me, I say you two would make a really good couple ! So I vote yes ! Come on, Master, don't hesitate : I know that you'll be… happy !" shrilled a cheering voice.
Raven couldn't suppress a brief smirk at her merriest emotion speaking as usual on the top of her voice.
"I'm not surprised such an enthusiastic emotion as you is that supportive. I wouldn't have expected less from you, Happy !" remarked the Dark Titan.
The pink-cloaked emoticlone made a V-sign with her fingers, grinning wide.
"Please, Master, accept to be with Jinx ! She's just so awesome ! And I love her eyes, like a cat's ! And her funny hair, resembling horns ! And her -"
"CUT IT OUT, PINKIE !"
All eyes glanced worriedly at the menacing emoticlone, dressed in the color of blood…
"Killjoy !" shot back the happy-go-lucky emotion.
The four red eyes narrowed, while the lips parted to bare the teeth, an alarming snarl rising from the "monster's" throat.
"Careful, Happy ! Or you'll regret it, I swear !" screamed the deep demonic voice, which resembled Trigon's.
The threatened one didn't reply, but had the nerve – or the pure folly – to make fun of Rage by mimicking an angry person, arms crossed and silently imitating someone rambling on and on, while rolling her eyes upwards to imply that the complains were a bore.
A loud growl could be heard, and the hellish emoticlone took off, rushing to her impudent sister.
The latter squeaked, eyes wide as the menace dived at her, and floated away in a wink.
Rage followed Happy, no matter where she fled, and finally caught her.
Holding the pink cloak by its front side, the red one narrowed her four red slits even more, a snarl still rumbling at the back of her throat.
"I had warned you, foolish little blabber, but you though yourself smarter. So you asked for it !"
And as she finished, Rage raised her fist slowly, gaining momentum and gathering strength for the blow.
"Stop, Rage ! Let her go, will you ?" snapped a voice close to them.
Knowledge was standing there, frowning.
"I know she irritated you, but you mustn't assault a fellow emoticlone. Happy went too far, and for that, she will get what she deserves. But that will NOT be a beating ! So please, don't go too far and release her. She will be punished , but not that way !"
The primitive side of the Dark Titan didn't lower her fist, but instead stared at the emotion wearing glasses, who stared back, no wavering in her determination.
"Knowledge, I know that you always choose the path of reflection and wisdom, and you're the one I respect the most. But this little brat here keeps on babbling on top of her voice, and it upsets me. But most of all, she made fun of me ! Me, Rage ! She may not be afraid of me, but I'll teach her a lesson ! Please let me hit her just once. Just a blow, to teach her respect. Don't prevent me from a single revenge. I've always listened to you about not harming her, but this time, she made fun of me. She deserves punishment from my hand."
Rage's four eyes looked left, as did Happy's two, and Knowledge turned her head in the same direction.
Raven had floated to them and was now standing by her most intelligent emotion.
"Rage, I know that Happy shouldn't have done what she did, and believe me, she will get her punishment for that. Trust me, she definitely will." The Dark Titan briefly looked angrily at her upbeat part, showing disapproval for the cheeky behaviour displayed earlier, then turned back to her demonic side. "But hitting one of your sisters isn't acceptable. I understand she got you mad, but I ask you to renounce beating her. Violence isn't the path to follow. I know you already have listened to the voice of reason, which I thank you for, and I trust you will once more make the good choice."
The almost unmanageable emoticlone didn't reply and observed intently her Master, then looked at Knowledge again, and once more at Raven.
Happy gulped, hoping that her violent sister would listen to both her wise elder and her very owner… and already dreading her punishment !
The hellish being let out an irritated sigh and pushed away Happy, who stumbled backwards and ended up sitting on the rocky ground of Nevermore.
"Thank you, Rage. Thank you very much." said Raven.
"Yes, thank you for listening to wise advice. And now, Happy, apologize !" added Knowledge.
"But -"
"You heard Knowledge. She gave you an order." simply remarked Raven, slightly frowning at the pink-clad one now picking herself off the ground.
The hyper girl made a face, clearly pouting, but nevertheless turned to her demonic sister, who eyed her resentfully, and hung her head, pink hood turned in direction of her feet.
"Sorry for making fun of you, Rage. That was… stupid of me."
Raven and Knowledge observed the red-dressed female.
"You're lucky Master and Knowledge took your defense, Pinkie. But I'll tell you this : if you ever dare to lack respect to me again, you'll live to regret it !"
There was a brief silence, until Raven decided it was time to take control again.
"Let's now resume what I called you all for. Please come back with the rest of the emotions and let's proceed."
They did as they had been told, Raven once again getting back in front of them all.
"I would like to hear ALL of you about Jinx. So please, each of you, gather your thoughts about her and get ready to open your heart to me. Who wants to speak next ?"
"I will."
All looks settle on the Green Cloak.
"I say that Jinx has shown courage in sparing you and leaving her team because she couldn't accept her criminal life anymore. She has been courageous as well in waiting for you, Master, days long in the park, and finally has been brave enough to accept becoming one of the Titans, thus going against her initial nature. I'm really attracted to her personality, and she looks good too. So as for me, I'd like you, Master, to stay as close as you can from her. If that means loving her, then so be it. After all, a female loving a female also is a pretty courageous choice in this conservative world where homosexuals are stigmatized and judged by so many. And I'll never say no to a courageous choice !"
Brave had ended her speech by crossing her arms and putting on a quite determined face. The kind that say : don't be afraid, just grab your guts and go for it !
"Really convincing a speech, Brave. My gratitude to you for your fortitude and resolution. Your opinion is interesting."
Rae smiled at Brave, one her most fearless sides (the other ones being Rage and Knowledge) who never backed away, no matter the danger.
Then she made a panoramic head movement to peer at the five other emotions.
Her eyes stopped on Rude, one of those who rarely ever minded to share their thoughts.
The orange-dressed girl got the hint and, after yawning, began.
"Well, as for me, I say we don't give a damn about what others think of love between girls. That they agree or not, we don't care. They can as well get lost. So I'll say : go for it, Master, and pair with the pink witch. She's cool, and has shown cheekiness in the past. I liked that, and hope she will come back to it soon. But yeah, I damn vote pro girly love ! Fuck machos and conservatives !" (3)
The chakra Titan raised a brow at the final sentence.
"Hum… yeah… Thanks for the… say, "picturesque" way of putting it, Rude ! I'm glad I'm not too often under your influence, for I wouldn't like to regularly cuss. But thank you for your opinion anyway."
The addressee belched.
"You're welcome, Master…"
The delicate and refined Love let out a disapproving "Pffff !" before rolling her eyes upward, her arms crossed.
Rude sniggered as she briefly glanced at her purple sister and started picking her nose.
Rae's eyes were now on Sloth, the laziest emotion when it came down to expressing herself.
The brown-cloaked female sighed, tired in anticipation at the mere idea of having to talk. Like were it that tiring…
"Why not ? She already likes you that much, so you won't have any efforts to make in order to convince her to love you back. So, if it's that little demanding, I'm in."
That was just like Sloth. Always considering things from the perspective of the efforts involved. But it was her nature, after all…
"Okay. That's pretty brief, but I appreciate your feedback. Thanks, Sloth !"
The laid back emotion simply briefly nodded to show she did accept the thanks.
There remained only three emotions : Rage, Knowledge and Timid. And, in Raven's mind, these three were those she thought might be the most likely show opposition to that unconventional "strictly female" relationship. She also had had reservations about Brave, a manly-behaving emoticlone who might have seriously doubted about a girlXgirl love, and therefore be against it… while the courageous one had, in fact, and almost unexpectedly, really shown support about it !
But there remained these last 3 emotions, and she wasn't sure about their reactions…
"Knowledge ? Rage ? Timid ?" she called out.
Rage and Knowledge fixed their stare at each other, then turned to Timid.
The grey-cloaked teen swallowed her saliva.
"You… you first… please…" she shyly uttered, almost begging.
The other two gazed at each other again, then the red one sighed and turned to Raven.
"With all due respect, Master, I say that you shouldn't do it. Girls don't go with girls, that's not in the natural order. I know that, nowadays, there are many people going with same-gender partners, and that some accept that, yet I don't. It's not the way it must be. You may think I'm too conservative, or uptight for that matter, yet I stick to my guns. You should instead think about a boy… I don't know, maybe Robin. He's tough, courageous, clever, handsome. He would make a good match. But Jinx, no. Sorry if I sound like a killjoy, but that's how I see things."
Raven discreetly sighed. She knew that her unruly inner self would most certainly make difficulties. And there it was : she disapproved everybody's choice. Well, almost everybody's choice at least, given that Knowledge and Timid hadn't spoken yet.
"I see. Well, no, you're not a killjoy, Rage. And now that I think of it, I find it normal that at least one or two of you would disagree about a female relationship. Should you have been all pro, I would almost have worried, and wondered if things really were normal, if I wasn't dreaming or so. I thank you for your opinion, Rage. And as for Robin, I'm not interested in him. I consider him more as a very good friend, but I don't think I could ever have tender feelings for him. Sorry if I sound killjoy myself here."
Yet the demonic emoticlone shook her head.
"Don't be sorry, Master. I get what you mean and respect it. It's okay, really."
I'm not used to her being so calm. Especially after we forced her to let Happy be. I thought she would be more furious than that. What can be soothing her that way ?
It was unexpected indeed… but definitely enjoyable !
After a brief look at Timid, who still shook her head nervously, Knowledge adjusted her spectacles and looked straight into her owner's eyes, her face serious.
"Rage is correct when she says that love between females isn't normal. I mean, we all know that. Homosexuality isn't the usual way to be. Males and females are meant to be attracted by each other for one specific reason : because they need to perpetuate the human species, and they do this by making love and thus creating new life. Babies can be born only via sexual intercourse between men and women. It can't be with a strictly male or strictly female couple. So when I say that homosexuality isn't normal, I'm speaking ONLY from the scientific perspective. ONLY from a biological point of view. Anything else isn't abnormal at all in homosexuality. Just the fact that it cannot meet the fundamental goal of humanity : perpetuate itself by giving birth to new humans."
There was a silence.
"Does that mean you are against a possible love between Jinx and me ?" asked Raven, not quite certain her wisest emotion was done talking.
"Actually, Master, I wasn't completely finished. Just pondering something prior to talking on. And here it is : homosexuality may be different, may not be the natural way, the biological way, that is, and yet… Well, to put it simply : it depends if you want to engender life, Master. If you do, then Jinx wouldn't be a reasonable choice. Unless, of course, you imitate the lesbian couples who adopt. But that would deprive you from giving birth. Yet, it depends if you DO want to have babies… or not. If you do, as I said, you should be aiming at a heterosexual relation. But if you don't, then a homosexual one isn't a problem, and should Jinx also not care about having children, then your relation would be absolutely no problem. It all really depends on whether you want to be a mother or not, Master. But, as for me, if you really want to know what I think… I'm not opposed to your being with Jinx. She's a really nice girl, and it seems to me, from what I've seen from her, that she would make you happy and sentimentally well-balanced. So I'm not against it, but, once again, the choice is all yours, and depends on your perspective about having children… or not."
That was a wise, reasonable, clever speech. It said it all. Knowledge had always been logical and mature, knew how to expose her arguments in a manner that made them difficult to be "pulled to pieces". She was a redoubtable adversary when it came down to reasoning, and most of the time made her point and was listened to eventually. The only few occasions on which she had not had the upper hand is when Rage had taken over and controlled Raven's body, like had happened with Dr. Light and Terra.
"Thank you for such a clear and well-thought argumentation. I'm always interested to know what you think, Knowledge." She immediately realized the innuendo unwillingly hidden in her speech. "Not that I'm not interested in all the others' opinions, mind you !" she added, taking a panoramic look to see if her words hadn't trigger some upset reactions. Yet no. All were still listening normally. Even Rage. So Raven turned back to the "glassed" emotion and finished her speech : "So, I'm pleased to have heard your opinion. And to answer your question, no, I don't want to have babies. It wouldn't be reasonable to spread Trigon's genes any further. It's better I never become a mother. I prefer to have love, but without a family. It's wiser for a half-demon like me. It will avoid possibly causing further havoc from the hands of my offspring."
The silence that welcomed that argument seemed almost awkward.
The Dark Titan finally turned to her shyest emotion, who had no choice left : given that she was the last one having not spoken, she was forced to now.
The twice grey girl, both in clothes and in skin, gulped and licked her lips.
And finally went for it.
"I… I really like Jinx. A lot. But… I'm not sure if it's friendship or… or love. I feel really good with her. It's just that… I'm not sure about… about my feelings for her. I would agree to a love relationship, but… I… I'm not sure it would work. If it's really possible to love… a girl. It would be great if it was possible… but I'm not sure it is. And so… I'm… afraid, Master. Afraid it might end up bad. I… I can't help it. Can't help being afraid. I'm sorry. But still, I would like it if you were with Jinx, Master. I would be happy if you did."
Raven gently smiled at the shy emoticlone.
"Don't feel sorry, Timid. I know the way you are, and know it's in your nature to be worried. I totally sympathize with you. And I'm pleased to hear that, despite your anxiety, you still experience positive feelings about Jinx, and feel good when I am staying with her. And that you would be happy should we be together for good. Thank you for making the effort to share your feelings with your sisters and myself, Timid."
The constantly hesitating side of Raven briefly smiled at her owner.
And there it was. All the emotions had spoken up. And the result of their input was that there were almost all in favour of a possible love relationship between their Master and Jinx. Knowledge, contrary to the rest, was not openly favorable : she mostly hinted she would not be against it should the pairing become a reality, and that it might actually balance Raven's emotional scale. And Timid was still doubtful, as she usually was, but she had clearly stated that the sorceresses' love bonding would make her happy.
Raven once again took a good look at each emoticlone in turn, her eyes lingering a bit on Knowledge and Love.
"I wholeheartedly thank you for your feedbacks on Jinx !" she finally told them. "I needed them in order to decide what to do, and if I could actually love a girl. I can now safely ponder our relationship and decide what I will do. Thank you again, all of you." She made a short pause, hesitating, then added : "Where would I be without you ?"
She said goodbye, all cloaked girls bowing to her, then turned around and was about to take off when a voice interrupted her.
"And so, Master, what are you gonna do ? What will you decide ?"
An almost screaming and enthusiastic voice… only one emotion could express herself that positive !
Rae turned back to her emotions and eyed the Pink Cloak, at which Rage was scowling for the loud screaming.
"I'm not completely sure yet, Happy. But your opinions certainly will help me. I'm not promising anything right now, but…" she smiled at them all "…well, you'll see in time !"
And with that said, the empath briefly waved goodbye and took to the sky.
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During that evening's meal, Raven couldn't help glancing at Jinx several times, keeping her face as neutral as she could yet without appearing distant.
She made sure not to do it too often, and avoided making her stare insisting when she did, not to make her fellow magician uneasy or have her teammates notice it.
But Jinx, as for her, realized that Raven was looking at her, and each time their gazes met, the Hex smiled and looked down, focusing on her food, so that nobody could spot the blush discreetly showing on her grey cheeks. Yet she felt flattered about the Goth's attention.
Once dinner was over, the violet-haired teen walked to the pink-haired one.
"Can you come into my bedroom later on ? I must ask you something."
The vertical pupils stuck to the round ones with curiosity, but the face of the half-demon gave nothing away. It was an impenetrable mask of seriousness.
"Okay…" replied Jinx, unsure of what to think of the "invite".
Fifteen minutes later, the "good witch" was knocking on the door of the "good demon".
Rae cautiously half-opened the door to peer outside, then fully opened it.
"Come in" she briefly let out, checking the corridor and finding it absolutely desert.
Jinx entered the "forbidden room" then watched Raven encase the door in black energy.
"What are you doing, Rae ?"
"Sealing the door so that no one can enter my room at an untimely moment."
"But… didn't you say once that no one ever dared to enter here ? Because they were afraid of your reaction if they did ?"
"True. But better safe than sorry. Now, let's go sit on my bed."
They did, and the half-demon stared attentively at the other half-demon.
"I have a question to ask you, Jinx, and I apologize in advance for being so blunt, but I need an answer right now. In fact, it will be better for both of us to know where we stand and what we are for each other. So, tell me, Jinx… what do you feel for me exactly ? How do you consider me, feeling-wise, or relationship-wise, if you prefer ?"
The pink eyes opened wide and the pupils, which were dilated given the scarce light of the room, suddenly retracted, narrowing to the extreme under the effect of surprise.
Oh my God ! She just asked me… what I felt for her ? Oh gosh, did she figure out ?
"Rae… I- I… well…" The poor Hex felt lost, the words reluctant to come out of her mouth. "Why… why do you want to know that ?" she finally dropped.
The empath sighed deeply.
"Because… I have made a decision. But I can't tell you which one exactly unless you answer my question."
All of a sudden, Jinx's face was so hot, her heart beat so powerfully, her throat was so dry, her hands so clammy…
But the Azarathian's eyes were still on her.
She was waiting for a reply. Patiently, but surely.
"Rae… I… I don't know what to tell you… you're my friend… I really like you… I'm… really happy to be… to be here with you…"
The poor girl was so nervous right this minute. So uneasy. She reminded Raven of Timid, somehow.
Raven wanted to alleviate her friend's trouble and put her in confidence, for her to confess, so she smiled, reached out and grabbed Jinx's hand, which she held in her own and covered with her other hand.
Jinx gasped and briskly lowered her gaze to the two grey hands holding her own in their warm "nest". She felt her face heat up and knew that she was either having a flush, or about to have one, so she instinctively looked down to hide it.
But a hand firmly yet still gently took her chin up, and violet eyes stared into pink eyes.
"Please don't avoid my look. Even if you feel uneasy. Even if you dread blushing. Don't hide what is only natural. And kindly answer my reply : what do you really feel for me ? It may not be evident to speak your mind – or, in this case, your heart – but… please do, Jinx !"
And to better punctuate the speech she hoped would give Jinx enough self-confidence to talk her heart out, Raven squeezed the Pink Sorceress's hand.
Jinx was breathing heavily now.
She gulped, then bit her lip.
"Come on. Just say it. It will be okay. Trust me."
The empath's words were reassuring, soothing.
The horned wizard inhaled loudly, licked her lips, and…
"Raven, I… I… I am…"
The Goth gave a small nod, smiling on reassuringly, and squeezed Jinx's hand tighter.
"I am… in love with you... I… I'm sorry…"
The pink-eyed enchantress was too moved to carry on.
She stared down, biting her lip with all her strength, almost to the point it would create a wound and start bleeding, and felt her eyes slightly water.
And what happened next left her speechless for good : Raven drew Jinx's body in her embrace and hugged her tight, her hand caressing the horn-shaped hair.
"Sssssssh… calm down, Jinx… please calm down… let tension away from you… breathe deeply and let your body relax gradually… Everything is okay…"
The black-dressed girl hugged back the blue-cloaked one, trying to fight off her sobbing.
The usually emotionless girl now felt profoundly touched by the way emotional reaction of her magical partner, and kept whispering soothing words to bring peace and tranquility into the moved girl's mind.
Both girls pulled away after a while. Jinx finally wiped her eyes and looked at Raven, but didn't know how to begin.
It was therefore the half-demon who did speak.
"Jinx, you needn't apologize for anything. What would you have to be sorry about ? You love me, and it's nothing to feel sorry about. On the contrary, I'm flattered and honored that you do. I had ended up sensing, even without using my mindreading powers, that you had really powerful feelings for me. More powerful than one would have for a friend, even for a very good friend. And then, for some reason, I started getting more and more attracted to you, hence my watching you several times during meals."
It was Raven's time to suddenly look down, slightly surprising the former H.I.V.E. student.
But before the latter had the chance to say a thing, the empath's head shot back up.
"I wasn't certain of what I really felt for you. Friendship ? Love ? I was in between. And since I didn't know for sure, I had to question my emotions. And once I was done, I felt that I was about to fall for you… for good ! I took some more time to look at you over dinner, to watch your beautiful features, your sweet reactions, your cute smile and… and I knew. I knew I loved you."
The demonic human then put her forehead against Jinx's, and the sixth Titan felt the coldness of Raven's chakra, which made her jolt and move backwards.
"What's that ? It's cold !"
"It's my chakra. That red rhombus gemstone in the middle of my forehead." She pointed at it as she spoke. "It is cold. I don't know why, it's just like that. Anyway…"
Raven drew Jinx's forehead back against her own and stared straight into the pink cat-like eyes.
"Jinx… I love you."
The good witch's mouth was slightly trembling, and she had to make a visible effort to control her vivid emotion.
Her vis-à-vis gazed at her lovingly, patiently waiting for the sacred words to be uttered back.
And at last… they were !
"Raven… I love you too."
The Goth had never been told this simple yet fundamental sentence, therefore her intense pleasure to hear it.
As for the Hex… she was on Cloud Nine ! She had hoped to gain an opportunity to say this one day, but she didn't suspect the day would come that soon.
The violet-haired female started to stroke the pink hair, still staring and smiling at the bad luck girl, who was intensely gazing back at her.
And then, the thrilling moment came.
Raven removed her forehead from her now beloved's, watched her tenderly for a few seconds, then put her arms on Jinx's shoulders and leaned forward.
…closer…
… always closer…
Jinx's heart seemed about to burst as the lips of her henceforth girlfriend came in contact with her own.
The Dark Titan's kiss was as sweet and soft as could be, and Jinx thought she would never be happier as she kissed back, butterflies giving her stomach no rest.
Dark energy flowed out, but curiously enough didn't ruin much : it only made a few books fly off the shelves and the table crash down, surprising more Jinx than Raven. The latter delicately grabbed Jinx's face and gently pulled it back to hers, as the Hex had turned it to watch the damage, then resumed kissing her.
Both mouths moved over each other, but the kiss remained gentle. It was too early yet for things to go further, i.e. for their tongues to get part of the kisses. Snogging never took place immediately in a blooming love. But it would naturally all come in due time.
Their breaths were rushed, and they exhaled much air through their nose as their mouths kept kissing and kissing slowly, nicely, endlessly, their love thirst seemingly never to be quenched. They couldn't get enough, and thought they wouldn't ever have.
Not in a lifetime.
Never.
Raven wrapped her arms around Jinx's shoulders, and reciprocally.
Discrete moans could be heard from both throats as the grey females continued to kiss for minutes.
The dark power kept making books fall off the bookcase and provoked the explosion of a vase, but both girls didn't pay that much attention. They had much better to focus on.
They finally pulled away, and Jinx caressed Raven's cheek, while Raven brushed Jinx's lips with her fingertips.
"Rae… Rae, thank you to no end for loving me ! I thought the day might come, but not before long ! And you made it happen way earlier ! Thanks a lot, Rae ! I love you so much ! I have from the first day I saw your face, during that battle where your hood came down and I then hesitated to fight you, because I was dazed by your beauty. I never suspected you were so attractive, since you always wore that hood. But since then, I have never ceased thinking of you. You're in my mind… and in my heart, Rae !"
The Azarathian chuckled.
"You are as well, Jinx. I really enjoyed your friendship, and I grew closer to you, closer and closer… and I began feeling more, although I wasn't fully sure. But my emotions let me know that they hoped I would end up with you, as a couple. I listened to them and, after pondering it a last time, I knew that I definitely wanted more than just friendship with you. I love you, Jinx, and it's the first time I say these three words. I never did to anybody, as I never got infatuated with anyone. Actually, I thought that love wasn't for me, that I would finish my life on my own. But you came into my life, and showed me I was wrong, and that I could be loved. So, if one of us is to thank the other… it's me ! Thanks, Jinx, thanks for loving a half-demon like me !"
They gazed at each other, then leaned forward again and kissed again, this time a bit feverishly, then moved back and stared, smiling sweetly.
"I think someone will have a very nice night, and will sleep soundly with a smile on her face.." teased Raven.
"Then, there will be two of them…" Jinx teased back.
"I love you, Rae."
"Same here, Jinx."
And indeed, that night, although they were each in her own room, they nevertheless were mentally and emotionally connected, as if they were sleeping side by side.
Their hearts and minds had never experienced such bliss, and for once, they both fell asleep with a nice, tender smile on their lips…
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Author's notes :
(1) Boys playing poker, Star drawing dresses : Alright, so I've stopped counting the times when authors made Cy & BB play videogames and Star cook (and also raven meditate). I mean, sure it's obviously some interests of theirs, as it clearly appears in the show, but come on, can't authors be a bit o-ri-gi-nal, every now and then, and have them do something else ? Something unusual ? As much as I enjoyed reading sTTories, I was upset reading always the same type of activities for the Titans. Hence my choice for poker, drawing, and later on chess for Raven.
(2) emoticlones bowing at Raven : I said in the first "emoticlone-related" chapter that the emoticlones used "Master" as a respectful address to Raven. Their bowing at her also pertains to that deference, which they express to her under all circumstances. That kind of respectful behaviour may seem outmoded, but it is to me one of the most visible manifestations of deference.
(3) Fuck machos and conservatives : this also reflects my opinion about these 2 hateful categories. Machos consider women in an inferior manner, and stifle them in their primitive views; as for conservatives, it's the kind to condemn gay love, like it's a sin and gays are gonna burn in hell and yadda yadda yadda. I'm heterosexual, but I HATE homophobia, just as I hate ANY kind of intolerance or identity-related hatred. So yeah, I'm one of the declared enemies of machismo and conservatism !
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AND JOY !
IT OCCURRED !
AT LAST !
RAVEN AND JINX HAVE JUST BECOME A COUPLE, UNDER YOUR INCREDULOUS EYES !
Aren't you happy for them, Folks ?
Oh yeah, I'm sure you are !
So, the pivotal moment has finally arrived ! The two heroines of this story have become an item ! It has become a full-fledged love story, with Raven finally returning Jinx's love !
I'm so content about this happening at last !
I tried to make this as sweet and intense as could be, without overstepping decency's boundaries. I wrote, in the foreword to this sTTory, that I would put a few snogging moments, but nothing more than that. That is, no sex, no intimate petting. This will remain a "clean" fiction. Still, hoped you guys enjoyed the tender moments between the two, and that you kinda empathized to their mutual excitement about their mutual love revelation.
And, Oh-my-gosh… did I just type over 9'000 words ? Man, I didn't think it would amount to that ! I seem to have always more difficulty stopping writing ! But then again, eh eh, don't ya like it when it's stretching ooooon and oooooooooon ? ;)
Hoped ya liked it, and that I didn't delay the love declaration too long, and made ya lose patience ! XD
Who knows when nXt update will be… but let's X our fingers and hope for more asap, eh !
Stay tuned and keep foll' (owing), fav' (oriting) and rev' (iewing) !
Much good to all of ya, dear readers !
Oh, and if you read this today, On October 31st : a CREEPY Halloween to you all, Folks ! ;)
PEACE, LOVE, ECSTASY !
(now playing : HERE COMES THE SUN, by the "Fab Four")
))))))))))))))))))) Lovemaker ((((((((((((((((