Chapter 10 is finally here! Now that Cloud is on his own, we get some time to focus on just him.
Ch.10
Three weeks had passed now since Zack's departure from Gongaga to join SOLDIER. Since then, Cloud had been trying to grow accustomed to him not being there anymore. Though, it had taken the full three weeks for him to work through most of his emotions surrounding Zack's absence. Even then, he still became saddened when thinking about it sometimes. But he tried to emulate what Zack had told him, and to look out for himself.
The times that were spent at school had been one of the harder things to become accustomed to. Even though he was 11-years-old now, being able to meet up with Zack afterwards was one thing that kept Cloud motivated through the day. Now, that feeling was no longer present when he was one and heading home.
Additionally, not having someone to play with or to share experiences with any longer was a damper on most days, but Cloud relied more on his parents for those times when he felt lost about it. Cloud knew that he was technically by himself once again, though he did try to remedy that by attempting to befriend others. However, that proved to be harder than expected as he just did not feel the connection there. He then secluded into his own world, waiting for something to happen that might change his experience.
Later on that evening, something did happen though. Cloud sat in his room on his bed as he thought to himself and stayed silent. Suddenly, there was a knock on his door as Cloud glanced up at the door to see it open and his mother standing there.
"Cloud dear, there is a letter for you here. It was just delivered a few minutes ago," his mother said, gripping what looked to be an envelope in her hand.
Upon hearing this, Cloud's eyes widened and a small smile spread across his face as he hopped up from the bed and ran up to his mother. He hoped that the message would be from Zack, who had told him that he would write as soon as he arrived in Midgar and was settled. That was the only thought going through his mind as he slowly bounced from heel to toe in front of his mother.
"Is it...is it from Zack?" he questioned curiously, a tone of excitement in his voice.
His mother chuckled. "Oh I don't know actually. It just has your name here, no return address. But this is certainly a change of mood from how you've been since he left. Maybe it is. You'll have to open it to see."
She handed him the envelope and Cloud carefully stared at it. He glanced at it for a moment before it carefully opened the top and pulled out the letter inside. Cloud immediately started to read it as a smile formed across his face.
Hey Cloud, how have you been? It's your big brother Zack writing to you all the way from Midgar! Yes I really made it all the way here! And you won't believe how big this place is! It's sooo big! Way bigger than Gongaga that's for sure.
There's so many more people and buildings and so many new things I've never seen before. It was a lot to take in, but I am really excited! Seeing the Shinra building was also one of the coolest things so far. As of right now I haven't signed up to join SOLDIER yet. I'm just trying to get settled in first.
At the time that I am writing this letter I am just at a small motel that is rather cheap. But hopefully next time you hear from me I will be in SOLDIER! I can hardly wait! I'm so close to my dream, I can almost feel it. I can't wait for you to get here and see what I mean though about everything!
Speaking of you, I hope you are doing well. You haven't forgotten to do your morning squats have you? If not, you better get on them! And I hope you are at least paying attention in school. I know it's probably boring there without me, but hey I know you can do it!
I miss you Cloud. It is kind of lonely being here on my own, I miss having you to talk to. But I keep thinking of you, mom, and dad to keep me strong. And writing this letter really helps. I really hope it doesn't take too long to get to you. Sorry if it does. But I'll try to send as many as I can, I just don't know how much I will be able to do once I get into SOLDIER.
Tell mom and dad I say hi and that I miss them.
Love you little bro.
From your big bro,
Zack.
Cloud's smile never faded throughout reading the letter in its entirety. His mother had already left the room as she felt Cloud would just want some time alone to read the letter. He read it through twice before wiping away a few tears from his eyes. The words that he had just seen from Zack gave him a spark, which is something that he had desperately needed for weeks. He remembered the promise that the two of them had of becoming heroes together, and also the promise he made to Zack to take care of himself. Cloud felt a surge of emotions all at once.
"Wow, it sounds amazing over there," Cloud said quietly to himself. "I really wanna be there to be with you again. At least I have you to tell me all about it for now"
Cloud walked over to his bed and folded the the letter and stuck it into the drawer next to his bed, so that he could reach it when he needed it. "I guess I have to be strong like he wanted me to be. That way I can show him I can do it."
Cloud started to feel much happier than he had been before. He started to stretch his arms as he walked outside of his room and headed towards the front door. He turned around as he grabbed onto the door handle. "I'm going outside! I'll be back before dinner."
"Okay Cloud, be safe," he heard his mother reply.
Cloud then exited the house and stretched a bit more. He took in some deep breaths as he did a few squats. Hearing from Zack after three weeks reminded him that he had not done any exercise or training. He had almost nearly forgotten about it.
"I can't fall behind. I made a promise to Zack and I gotta keep that promise," Cloud thought to himself.
As soon as he finished up doing his squats, he stretched once more before breaking into a run. The cool evening air rush past his face as he tried to matian a decent speed. Cloud reminded himself that he had to keep going. He had to keep doing what he promised. Not only because he promised Zack he would, but also because he wanted to get stronger. Zack always wanted to protect him, but Cloud wanted to be able to do the same. And that was his goal.
In almost no time at all, another year had passed, and Cloud was 12-years-old now. He had continued increasing the amount of training that he would do each day until he was able to sustain himself with various exercises when he had the time. He was more determined now than ever to be able to make SOLDIER, as he did not want to journey all the way there only to not be in proper condition for it.
The thought of that had reminded him of something, but he could not remember exactly what it was; but then, he had pushed it out of his mind. There were some hard times when Cloud would start to lose himself, or become worried about various things, including letting Zack down and missing him as well.
However, in those times, he found solace in the letters that Zack had written him over the year time. He found renewed strength and a reminder of the goal that the two of them had set all those years ago. He only had to make it one more year until he could finally see his brother again. It seemed as though it was a long time away, but Cloud hoped the time would pass quickly.
Cloud breathed heavily as he tossed and forth. In his dreams he was running and running. He had no idea where he was, but he knew one thing; he was running somewhere and it was important he kept going. The world around him was blurred and out of focus, making it hard to tell where he even was. But he didn't let that get to him, he just kept going.
After continually running Cloud started to have thoughts about his situation. "Why am I running? What's... the point of all of this? I don't get it."
Slowly Cloud started to come to a stop and stood still as he caught his breath. Strangely enough though he was stopped the world around him started to spin and his headache. Cloud dropped to his knees as he groaned.
"You're really giving up that easily?" a voice asked him.
As Cloud was staring down at the ground, he noticed that a shadow was now cast over him. He tilted his head up and his eyes widened as he saw who stood before him. "Z-Zack?"
He stuttered with his words, not knowing what to think to say upon seeing his big brother there, since he did not expect to see him for a while longer. His mind was racing with thoughts that he could not form any of them into cohesive sentences. However, he was snapped out of his thoughts fairly quickly as his ears tingled again with words flowing into them.
"I thought you promised not to give up," Zack asked, a cold tone within his voice.
Could shuddered. Something didn't feel right about the way Zack was speaking. Something felt off. He knew Zack, and he knew Zack could never sound that cold. Why would his brother speak that way to him? He needed to know. "What are you talking about?" Cloud finally managed to ask through a worried breath, trying his best to not sound scared.
"You've given up. I guess you don't care about our dream," Zack sternly spoke with not even an ounce of kindness or understanding in his voice.
A knot twisted in Cloud's stomach. Why was Zack saying that? Why was he speaking in that tone of a voice? It didn't seem right for him to say something that cold or heartless. What was wrong? Had Cloud done something to upset him? He couldn't figure it out. Cloud tried to process all of these questions and wanted to say them all out loud, but he could not muster the fortitude to so. He felt dejected.
"B-But Zack. I was only-"
"No. You've given up Cloud. You don't want to be hero or anything else. You just would rather be weak."
Those unfamiliar words from Zack penetrated Cloud's very being as he dropped his gaze from his brother. Tears filled his eyes as he slowly shook his head. None of this felt right at all, and he did not want to believe any of it. "Zack, he... he would never say this to me. This isn't Zack."
"Just forget it Cloud. You know you'll never make it to SOLDIER now," Zack said harshly, unrelenting in the pressure he was forcing upon Cloud with his words.
Cloud, with tear-filled eyes, immediately looked up at Zack only to find him glaring harshly down upon him. The look of disgust and disappointment filled his eyes as they were narrowed to a point. Cloud wanted to look away, but he kept staring right back at Zack, unable to break from the gaze that Zack had him trapped in. He wanted to know, he wanted to understand why his brother was so upset at him. It didn't make any sense.
"I haven't given up though! I've been training! I really have! I... I will make it to SOLDIER. You'll see! And then we can be together again. We can be heroes together," Cloud exclaimed with a heavy voice, almost yelling as he tried to break through to Zack.
Zack sighed heavily as he rolled his eyes. He then gave a scoff that was filled with disgust. "Yeah right. Just stop trying Cloud. You know there is no point."
Zack then turned around and started to walk away, seemingly without another word. But after only a short distance of movement, he spoke up one final time. "You deserve to be alone," he uttered as he continued his march away from the blonde-haired boy on the ground.
Cloud's breathing started to increase as he heard those words. Did he hear those words correctly? He was sure Zack did not mean that, he couldn't have. As he sat there contemplating the validity of Zack's actions, he witnessed Zack growing farther and farther from him. He tried to get up, but it almost felt like his body was frozen where he was.
"Zack! Come back!" Cloud screamed as he tried to get himself to stand back up. He pushed with all his strength, but he could not get his body to move not even one inch. "Don't go!"
Zack just kept walking though, never slowing down or looking back. He kept on moving forward as his silhouette started to become more faint as Zack was fading from sight. Cloud shook his head back and forth rapidly as tears streamed down it. "Zack please! I c-can... I a-am getting stronger. I'm going to m-make it to SOLDIER. Don't... don't leave me...alone..."
Those last words diminished into a whisper-like sound as Cloud closed his eyes briefly and tried to hope Zack would return. But when he opened his eyes again, there was no sign of Zack anywhere. Cloud was all alone now in darkness. There was nothing else anywhere. He was all alone, just as Zack had told him he would be.
Cloud started to cry as he just sat there, still unable to move. "Zack..." he whined. "I'm sorry... Please come back..."
Cloud started to blink a few times as his eyes were adjusting around him. It only took him a few minutes to realize that he was laying in his bed in his room. Though now he understood what had just happened. He had just had a nightmare. But it wasn't like some of the nightmares he had in the past. This was not one that brought forth familiar feelings or anything else. It didn't feel like some distant thing that he thought he should remember.
It was a nightmare. A true nightmare. All of Cloud's fears and doubts rolled into one, horrifyingly realistic dream sequence. Cloud curled up with his knees close to his chin and turned onto his side as he looked across the room to Zack's empty bed. Cloud sniffled as he wiped away the tears that were still falling from his eyes. At that moment, he really missed his brother, who would help him get over these problems. He truly did feel alone at that moment.
"It was just a nightmare..." Cloud muttered aloud to himself. "Zack would never say that to me. He... he would never leave me. He wouldn't… do that."
Cloud exhaled as he tried to push away the words Zack had said to him in the nightmare. Though they still lingered deeply in his mind now. He then glanced to his dresser, and once his eyes were firmly there, he remembered. He was not alone, as Zack was right there with him. He only waited a moment before he opened the drawer and pulled out a few letters from Zack. He brought them close to his chest and sighed as he started to read through them.
After a few minutes of reading, Cloud started to feel slightly better. He wiped away the last tear from his eye as he folded the letters back up and placed them back into the drawer. The words he had just read were Zack's true words, not whatever it was he had heard in the dream. He allowed his fears and doubts to take him over, but he had to fight against it. Not only for his sake, but for Zack's sake as well, who was trusting in Cloud to become strong like him.
He laid there silently for a while longer as he closed his eyes and tried to clear his mind as he felt his eyes getting heavy. "I'll show you...Zack, I'll make you proud," he muttered as sleep took him once again.
There was a lot that we went over here, but I hope you guys all enjoyed it. Poor Cloud though and his nightmares. But soon enough he will be heading off to SOLIDER!
Thanks for reading everyone!