Memories and the Master

The title's inspired by Hershey's Kisses and Hugs (a brand of American chocolate which i fell in love with). Feel free to thank the three hour queue I had to stand in for the Empire State Building as I brainstormed to ignore how much my feet were hurting! Other than that, I had a good time in NY. Hope you like this chapter; not too sure about the ending scene- tell me what you think.

Disclaimer: Nothing you might recognise belongs to me

Part Ten: Kisses and Hugs

Suffice to say, Jackie had been extremely thrilled to hear that her daughter had won the most publicised competition ever. She'd immediately organised a celebration party which went on to the early hours and involved many people that Rose had never ever met. At least, she couldn't remember ever meeting them. The week that followed was a hectic one for Rose. Along with having to put up with her mother's activities (a shopping spree and beauty makeover had followed the party as Jackie insisted that her daughter had to look fantastic for the cameras. The Doctor had said she looked fantastic anyway and Rose had beamed at him), she had to contend with several interviews for different tabloids and TV programmes; both British and abroad. Everyone wanted to know what her guess had been but the Prime Minister's secretary had phoned her up on the evening she'd discovered she'd won and made her promise not to tell anybody. Rose had firmly kept that promise and the only person who knew was the Doctor, who had already known.

As a result of everything happening, Rose was thoroughly relieved on the Friday night- just over a week later- to find that her mother was out at a social evening, Kirsty and Lauren were busy and Matt and Jack had gone out together somewhere. That left Rose and the Doctor alone together, which didn't bother either in the slightest.

Currently, they were watching a movie on the television in the lounge. The room was only lit by two side-lamps, leaving long shadows on the floor and the occupants in semi-darkness. The Doctor and Rose were sitting side by side, enjoying it tremendously. Rose stretched as an advert came on and turned to grin at the Doctor.

"This is good," she said, "I love it,"

"Me too," he replied absently. A thought had suddenly struck him as to what the trigger might be. He couldn't believe he hadn't thought of it before! "Rose," he said, slowly, "I'm gonna try something, OK? If you don't like it, then just push me away,"

"Alright," Rose whispered, her eyes wide but trusting all the same. She watched as the Doctor leant towards her and then carefully put his lips on hers and softly kissed her. She gasped into his mouth, which the Doctor took an opportunity to deepen the kiss, tucking a strand of hair away behind her ear and caressing her cheek as he did. He was overjoyed when Rose began to kiss back, a bit insecurely at first, before hooking an arm around his neck and unconsciously tapping her fingers on his shoulder.

The Doctor gave her one last kiss before moving away slightly and watching her. Her lips were slightly red as she breathed out harshly before dropping her head onto his chest limply.

"Rose?" he asked her worriedly,

"No," she whispered, not lifting her head, "It wasn't the trigger,"

"Damn," the Doctor cursed, "I was so sure. It's like that in your human fairytales. Prince Charming kisses the girl and everything's alright again." He waited for the customary comeback along the lines of "It's a shame Prince Charming didn't kiss me," that Rose would always come out with before and had even said (although not those exact words) a few times in the past week, but nothing happened. "Rose, are you alright?" he checked.

She nodded, still not moving her head from his chest. "I'm fine. Films starting again, let's watch it."

The Doctor nodded and returned his attention to the telly in front of them.

That is, until about ten minutes later, he heard a quiet sniffing coming from Rose's direction.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" he asked,

"Nothing, I'm fine," came her insistent reply,

"Look at me, Rose," the Doctor commanded softly, "'Cause obviously something's wrong. You wouldn't be crying if everything was fine. The film's not remotely sad and it can't be me…" He stopped suddenly. "It wasn't the kiss, was it? Did that make you upset? Oh God, I can't believe I made you cry just by kissing you! Am I really that bad?"

"No," Rose said, interrupting him with a weak giggle, "No way."

The Doctor felt a moment of male pride before suddenly coming back to the issue at hand. "So, why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying!" she responded adamantly,

"Yes, you are. You don't need to be ashamed. It's OK to cry in front of me,"

"No, it's not!" Rose cried out.

The Doctor's eyes widened as he suddenly understood what part of the problem was. "Oh, Rose sweetheart," he sighed, putting his hands under her arms and pulling her onto his lap and then against his chest. One arm anchored her to him and the other cupped her cheek, stopping her attempts to hide her face and the obvious tear tracks from him.

"Why do you think that?" he asked, gazing into her eyes.

Rose blinked and looked away. "'Cause…'cause… It doesn't matter,"

"Rose?"

"'Cause you're always so strong," she admitted in a rush, "You never look upset or let your defences down and I don't want to look weak in front of you." She looked directly at him again. "It's stupid,"

"No, it's not," he reassured her, "Rose, I'm anything but strong especially where you're concerned. You shouldn't be embarrassed about crying or showing any other sort of emotion in front of me. I know you can't remember but we've experienced everything together. We've been through the highs and the lows and seen each other at our worst and also at our best. It's OK to cry if you need to and you're very welcome to do it in my arms if you want to, do you understand?"

Rose nodded shakily; all her emotions battling inside her.

"So, what's wrong then?" the Doctor asked.

Rose sighed and placed her head on his shoulder. "It's been nearly a month," she began lowly, "And we're running out of things to try as the trigger. What if its something that we can't reach like, I dunno, that planet near that Black Hole you told me about." She paused and sniffed. "What if we never find it and I never get those memories back?" Her voice became shrill and tears slipped down her cheeks. "I want them back so much. You've told me everything that happened and I really want to remember them, I want to remember who you are and what we've experienced and I want to feel what I know I used to feel towards you and what you feel towards me but I can't!"

The Doctor's eyes were sad as he slipped a hand underneath her t-shirt and began to rub slow comforting circles over her back while he listened to her pour her heart out.

"I know I've gotten used to how my life is now but I so desperately want my old one back. I need to find that trigger but it's getting more and more unlikely as you've said we've tried everything on Earth. I'm just so terrified that I won't remember ever again and that just hurts so much!" She broke off and buried her face in his neck, crying desperate hot tears as she relieved herself of every worry she had.

The Doctor cuddled her tightly, his hand still rubbing circles on her back and his lips pressing delicate kisses onto her hair in between whispering calming words into her ear and telling her not to give up, there was still hope and he was so proud of her for coping.

He let her cry herself out in his arms before she fell asleep, the film forgotten. He watched her lovingly for a while, his mind ticking over with possibilities for the trigger that they still had to try. He was determined not to give up or let her give up. Feeling warm and comfortable, the Doctor let himself join his angel in sleep.

He was woken about an hour later, however, by Rose mumbling something.

"What?" he muttered, rubbing his eyes and looking at her, "Rose?"

"I want you safe. My Doctor. Protected from the false God," she whispered.

The Doctor's stomach dropped. He recognised those words. "Rose?" he asked, gently cupping her head so he could see her face. Her eyes were closed and she was breathing steadily.

"You are tiny…"

She was talking in her sleep, the Doctor deduced. And she was dreaming about when she was Bad Wolf and had defeated the Daleks. The Doctor's mind worked quickly. If she could dream about this event, maybe her memories were in her subconscious. Maybe they were close to coming back. He paused for a second, pondering his options. There was the moral one and then there was the other one.

"Please forgive me, my love," he whispered, before placing his hands on her temples and entering her mind. He had promised himself he'd never do this to Rose without her permission but he really didn't have any other option. The answer to getting her memories back might lie in this dream.

Immediately he was plunged into the dream. He shivered as he saw Rose standing in front of him and the Emperor Dalek, glowing with light and power.

"…I can see the whole of time and space. Every single atom of your existence," Rose said, without a flicker of emotion on her face, holding out her hand, "And I divide them."

The Dalek, which the Doctor remembered trying to exterminate her, elegantly divided into separate particles, which hung in the air in a sort of mist,

"Everything must come to dust," Rose continued, "All things. Everything dies." She opened her arms and all the surrounding Daleks met a similar fate before shimmering away.

"I will not die! I cannot die!" the Emperor Dalek screamed, before dissolving into dust,

"The Time War ends," Rose said simply, before smiling blissfully.

The Doctor watched his crouching ninth form speak to Rose. He remembered how scared he felt at that moment.

"That's it. Rose, you've done it, now let go, just stop-"

"How could I ever let this go?" Rose questioned, before gesturing, "I bring life,"

The Doctor knew that somewhere close by, Jack had just been brought back to life. His earlier forms raging brought him back to the current scene.

"But this is wrong! You can't control life and death-!"

"But I can. The sun and the moon and the light and the dark…" She suddenly looked child-like, "But why do they hurt..?"

The Doctor watched as his previous self came forward, acting more compassionately.

"It's eating you alive. The power's gonna kill you. And it's my fault,"

"But… I can see everything. All that is. All that was. All that ever could be."

The ninth Doctor smiled sadly. "That's what I see. All the time. And doesn't it drive you mad..?"

A tear dripped down Rose's cheek. She suddenly seemed more human and scared. "My head…" she whispered,

"Come here," the earlier Doctor replied, holding out a hand.

Rose took it, shaking a little. "…It's killing me…"

The current Doctor grinned at his next words, cheesy as they might have been.

"I think you need a Doctor."

The Doctor watched as his ninth self leant in slowly and pressed his lips against Roses', pulling all the power out of her. He smiled at the scene. That had been his very first kiss with Rose although she didn't remember it.

Suddenly he felt himself visibly forced out of Rose's mind. He opened his eyes once he felt himself back in his own body. Rose was awake and staring at him, a shocked look in her eyes.

"Were…" She swallowed nervously, "Were you just in my mind?"

The Doctor looked back at her, suddenly terrified.

"I'm sorry, Rose," he rambled, "I'm really sorry for invading your privacy and I know I don't deserve your forgiveness but I had a reason…"

"Doctor?" Rose asked, quietly, "What happened?"

He looked at her. She stared back, a mixture of confusion and worry in her eyes. But there was no anger. None at all.

"You were talking in your sleep," he began, almost nervously. If there was one person in the world that could scare him, it was Rose when she was cross with him. Not even Jackie could scare him that much. "And you were saying words… sentences that I could remember you saying before when you became Bad Wolf- when you defeated the Daleks,"

"But… but I don't remember that!" Rose said, looking really confused, "How can I dream about something that I don't remember?"

"That's what I wanted to find out," the Doctor said, rubbing the back of his neck, "And that's why I went into your mind… I'm so sorry, Rose,"

"It's OK," she said, touching her temples, "I forgive you."

The Doctor breathed out. "You are wonderful, you know that?" he told her, kissing her forehead delicately,

"I'm not but thanks for the compliment," she replied, "So; you can enter people's minds then?"

"Yup," the Doctor confirmed, "Time Lord trick. But I don't do it too often and always try and get people's permission first if possible,"

"OK," Rose accepted before laying her head back down on his shoulder with a sigh, "Did you see anything that might be a clue?" she questioned, trying to keep the hope out of her voice,

"I don't know," he answered, scratching his head, "I really don't know."

The Doctor and Rose went back to searching with more determination the next day. They felt as if they'd become closer after getting their feelings out in the open and Rose could see more than ever why she'd previously fallen in love with the Time Lord.

However, the problem was that they'd exhausted the Doctor's list of possible triggers by the following Monday and as they couldn't leave the Earth seeing as the big ceremony with Mr. Saxon was on the Saturday, the two found themselves with little to do. They spent time with one another, trying to avoid Jackie and the press, and generally had fun. On the Wednesday, it was the thousand runners up conference with Mr. Saxon. Rose didn't know anybody who had won other than the nephew twice removed of the sister of the best friend of her neighbour's son-in-laws secret girlfriend. The fact that the son-in-law had been cheating on his wife didn't seem to bother anyone as they were too caught up in Saxon madness. Rose despaired of humans sometimes.

As a result of it being the big conference, the press's attention was directed on the runners up rather than on her for the day, something which she was profoundly grateful for. It was beginning to get more than a little annoying to have people with microphones and Dictaphones and mobile phones following her and the Doctor around all day. There had been speculation about her relationship with him and Rose had refused to speak to any reporters after finding that a tabloid had printed an article stating that she was in an intense romantic relationship with the Doctor and a reporter had quoted him saying he was about to propose any day now. All of that had been entirely untrue and Rose could barely look at the Doctor after seeing it. He'd just laughed and the next time the paparazzi were around, he'd kissed her on the lips with her full permission. The following days headlines had been hilarious.

The streets were quiet as Rose wandered along the pavement late in the early evening on the Wednesday. The Doctor had been trying to repair the TARDIS and had told her he'd meet her in half an hour to get some dinner. He'd said he needed to get the part fixed as soon as possible so Rose had left him to it and gone shopping.

She paused to admire a skirt in a shop window that was way out of her price range but still gorgeous. It would look amazing on her and would go really nicely with that creamy top the Doctor had bought her yesterday. He was so nice, always buying her things that she'd seen and liked. Rose couldn't really ask for anyone better. He was everything she'd ever dreamed of and was happy that she'd had a relationship with him even if she couldn't remember it!

Moving on, she looked into the next shop window and looked at the different shoes on display. There were some really nice sandals in the top left hand corner…

Suddenly, a prickling ran down her spine. She could hear a sort of rumbling sound, but it wasn't thunder. Other shoppers to her left and right had noticed the noise as well and were looking around curiously, wondering what it was.

A gasp came from a young woman to Rose's right. She stared into the reflective glass of the window, following the woman's eye line, and let out her own gasp. Trundling towards her was a sea of what looked like dustbins with eye stalks and whisks.

"EXTERMINATE!"

Rose screamed.

The Doctor strolled down the road towards where he knew Rose was shopping, enjoying the late afternoon sunshine. He'd finished fixing the TARDIS quicker than he'd expected and decided to surprise Rose by meeting her earlier. He grinned as he thought of her. She'd certainly come a long way since a month ago and, especially since their talk last Friday, she seemed to have blossomed. She certainly seemed more affectionate towards him, which completely delighted him.

Suddenly a scream ripped through the air followed by another and then another. He froze as he heard a cry which made his blood run cold.

"EXTERMINATE!"

"ROSE!" he shouted in a panic and took off at a run.

Rose backed against the shop window, staring in fear at the metal dustbins which could talk in a grating voice. People around her were trying to run, to get away from these strange things- aliens? Rose's mind suggested—but as soon as they attempted to escape, a sort of laser beam shot out of a stick on the casing. The victims glowed for a second, and Rose could clearly see their skeletons, before slumping down onto the ground, dead.

The screaming grew louder as did the shrieks of "EXTERMINATE!" and the dead bodies littering the street. Rose's heart was beating at a furious rate, her body was battling to decide on flight or fight, her blood was pumping violently and sweat was beading on her brow and under her armpits. She had never felt so terrified in all her remembered life and suddenly desperately wished that the Doctor was here with her. Forcing herself not to panic, she slowly looked around trying to judge her chances of survival. They weren't high and got even lower as one of the eye stalks swivelled around to face her. Rose gave a small whimper before straightening her back and looking the thing in what she assumed to be its eye. If she was about to die, then so be it. She only wished she'd been able to tell the Doctor a last goodbye before she went.

Suddenly, she began to feel strange as if she was withdrawing into herself. An unearthly voice began to sing inside her head and light began to shine all around her.

We are the Bad Wolf a female voice whispered, instantly calming her. Together, Rose Tyler, we are the Bad Wolf

Rose shivered before suddenly knowing what she had to do. She had to end it all.

The Doctor skidded to a halt, ducking down behind an abandoned car, as he watched the sight before his eyes.

Rose was standing with her back against a shop window, surrounded by a semi-circle of Daleks. She was glowing with power and a shiver went down the Doctor's spine. It was happening again. Somehow, Bad Wolf had remained in Rose and somehow she'd unleashed it again.

"I am the Bad Wolf." Rose's voice floated up the deserted street to the Doctor's ears, "I have lain undisturbed for five years but now it is time to act once more,"

"You shall be exterminated!" shrieked one of the Daleks. A ray of light headed straight towards Rose and the Doctor felt his hearts physically leap into his throat. However, Rose put out a hand and sent it back at the Dalek, instantly destroying it.

"I destroyed your predecessors," Rose said, "And I will destroy you."

She lifted her arms, the light surrounding her growing stronger and brighter and the Doctor swore he could hear a voice softly singing, reminded him of Gallifrey. As her arms lifted, Rose's eyes began glowing and, just as it had back on satellite five, the army of what the Doctor approximated to be nearly a thousand Daleks turned to dust. Just like that, they had gone.

Turning his head back to Rose, he discovered her slumped with her face in her knees on the floor, all signs of Bad Wolf gone now. He hurried towards her, dropping to his knees in front of her.

"Rose?" he said, softly, reaching out and touching her cheek lightly.

She looked up, seeming to be in complete shock and devoid of any tears. She was extremely pale.

"Are you alright, sweetheart?" the Doctor asked,

"Doctor," she breathed, throwing her arms around his neck and burying her face in his neck, the tears now coming thick and fast, "Doctor," she mumbled again, "My Doctor,"

"Your Doctor," he gently told her, "My Rose,"

"Doctor," she whispered shakily, raising her tearstained face to his, "I…I remember."

Review please. Constructive criticism is gladly received