I know I know, don't die when you see that I've updated! This chapter, in part, was pretty difficult for me to write, but I enjoyed it. I tried to get as much Nathan/Haley time in as possible for you guys. I know the last few chapters haven't had as much. And no matter how you're feeling right now...trust me when I say that this is nowhere near the end for this story. Nathan and Haley still have a lot to experience together and a lot of growing to do both as individuals and as a couple. Thank you for the responses to Chapter 9! Definitely made my day today, and it's why I wanted to update again. So please enjoy!
Nathan looked up when he heard a loud banging on the dorm room door and quickly stood up to go answer it. It was late, and all he wanted to do was go to sleep, but the person out in the hallway obviously had different plans.
His coach had not been happy about how he'd found two of his starting seniors the night before. He was especially pissed at Nathan, and as punishment he was suspended. Of course, he still had more than three weeks left before his cast came off, but the coach had decided that once he had his cast off Nathan was suspended for two weeks. And that, of course, had pissed Nathan off to no end. He was angry about every single aspect of his life, but every punishment and guilty feeling was deserved. He had been an ass to Haley, to Lucas, to Grant, and pretty much to everyone else that had spoken to him. But still, he didn't regret hitting Grant. It's not like the guy wasn't okay; he'd just been knocked out. Hell, he'd woken up five minutes later. It had felt amazing to finally release all the hatred he had for his teammate, and he was really fucking tired of listening to him disrespect Haley. She didn't deserve that, not from him and not from anyone else.
They hadn't spoken at all in the last two days, and it was killing him. He hadn't even seen her, not once. He missed her. He missed the way they had been before everything…the proposal, the bet, the sex. All of those things had been mistakes, and he wished he could take them all back.
He'd been thinking about it a lot in the past two days without Haley. He still wanted to be her husband; he still wanted to spend his life with her. But it was wrong of him to propose to her and scare her like that so soon in the relationship. She didn't want the same things he did, and it was wrong of him to automatically assume that she did. The proposal had been a mistake, but her saying no hadn't been. He knew that even if she had accepted his proposal, she would have called it off after finding out about the bet. After all, she had called off their entire relationship. They were no longer together, and when he allowed himself to think about it he felt physical pain. It wasn't supposed to be that way. He wasn't supposed to be missing her; they were supposed to be together.
The banging continued, and he took a deep breath as he brought his left hand up to the doorknob. Whoever it was did not sound happy. Finally, he turned the knob and opened the door, shocked to see Haley standing out in the hallway.
But she wasn't in the hallway for long. She had burst into the room without a thought and then turned around to face him, slapping him hard in the chest. "What the hell is wrong with you?" she shouted.
Nathan kicked the door shut and brought a hand up to his chest. Damn, she could hit hard when she wanted to. "What are you talking about?" he asked, looking at her like she was crazy.
She rolled her eyes. "Grant. Was it really necessary for you to beat him up? Do you always have to be such a guy about everything, Nathan? He didn't do anything to you."
"He didn't do anything to me?" he questioned, his eyes wide. "Haley, he was talking shit about you. I'm not going to apologize for getting angry about that."
Haley drew in a breath and wrapped her arms around herself. "You have no reason to get angry about that," she said quietly. "We're not together anymore."
Nathan shook his head. "And you think that's going to stop me from protecting you when I see that a bad guy wants to go after you, Haley? That's never going to happen. I'll never be that guy."
"And who was protecting me when you were that bad guy, Nathan?" Haley retorted with a shake of her head. "Who is protecting me when you're still that bad guy?"
"Why am I a bad guy, Haley?" Nathan asked, making sure to keep his voice calm. "I love you, and I want to be with you. How does that make me a bad guy?"
Haley shook her head and held up a hand. "I'm not here to talk about our relationship. I'm here to tell you to stop messing with Grant. He didn't do anything to deserve being knocked out, just like I didn't do anything to deserve what you did to me."
"And what was that? What exactly did I do to you that was so bad?" Nathan questioned. He took a step closer to her, but there was still a good few feet between them. "I hurt you, and I know that, okay? I know that, and it kills me. Hurting you is the last thing I ever want to do, but I didn't feel that way when I first saw you. I admitted that to you on our first date. I never lied to you, Haley."
"No, I guess you just conveniently left some things out," Haley muttered sarcastically. "You know what? I wanted to see if you felt even an ounce of remorse for your actions, but clearly you don't. So there's no reason for me to be here." She moved around him.
Nathan grabbed her wrist gently.
Haley stopped in her tracks and closed her eyes, breathing in a deep breath. God, it felt so good to have him touch her. Two days apart had felt like a lifetime, and even just his hand holding her own made her feel amazing. It made her feel whole again. But she quickly opened her eyes and shoved those thoughts out of her mind as she turned around to face him. "What do you want from me, Nathan?" she asked weakly.
"I want you," he replied vehemently, looking into her eyes.
Haley bit her lip and shut her eyes. "Don't do that," she whispered. "You can't just say that. It doesn't make everything okay again. Nothing can."
"Yes it can," he assured her, letting go of her hand so he could caress her cheek. "Please just give me another chance, Hales. Please." He closed his eyes, resting his forehead against hers. "We need to talk about it…what happened between us."
She shook her head as her eyes filled with tears. God, why did she always have to cry when she was around him? It was like some sort of a curse. She reached a hand up and placed it over his which was resting on her cheek. She stroked the back of his hand for a couple of seconds before pushing it away from her face. "No," she whispered. Before he could say anything, she turned and opened the door, stepping out into the hallway. She practically ran to the steps so she could make it up to her dorm room before the tears started falling. It hurt so bad to say no to him, but she couldn't say yes. She couldn't be with him, not after everything that had transpired. They weren't right for each other.
Nathan approached the library apprehensively, holding a small stack of papers in his left hand. The library wasn't a place he was too fond of, as he had never been very good at school and usually only the overachievers hung out inside. He hated how quiet it was, but he had been with Haley before. When he was there with her, it wasn't so bad. He'd usually just watch her work even though he had his own homework to focus on. He would watch her wiggle her pen between her fingers as she tried to figure out the answer to a math problem or purse her lips in the cute way that she did when she was trying to find the best way to word a sentence for an English paper. The library wasn't so boring sitting next to Haley James, even if they weren't talking. She captivated him with both her beauty and her intelligence. Even though the latter had never been a qualification he looked for in girls, he found that he admired Haley so much for her dedication to her studies. He loved that she loved to learn and that she had a wide array of knowledge with which to challenge him. It gave her an edge, but he liked it. And he loved her.
And he missed her. A week had gone by since she had come to visit him in his dorm room to warn him about Grant. And God, he had been confused after she left. He honestly didn't understand why the hell she cared. Yes, beating the guy up had been impulsive and stupid, and he was certainly going to pay for it. But why did Haley care about Grant? Why had she warned him to stay away from him? Were they good friends now? His thoughts about the two of them had been driving him crazy the entire week, and when he was alone the only thought that occupied his mind was that maybe Haley wasn't. Maybe she and Grant were hanging out like he and Haley had done in the first weeks of their relationship. Maybe he was fooling her, and maybe she was falling for it. Or even worse…maybe they actually had feelings for each other.
He'd seen Grant at practice, but they had safely avoided each other, as per the coach's orders. Unfortunately, he and Haley had avoided each other as well. They didn't exactly run in the same circles, his disdain for the library a testament to that, so now that they weren't dating they never saw each other. Neither one made an attempt to contact the other, but that was changing today. Nathan pushed open the door to the library, knowing that he needed Haley in more ways than one.
Haley tapped her pen against the table a few times, trying to get herself to focus. It was nearly impossible though because Nathan had been occupying her thoughts for the entire week. Not only Nathan…but also what they had done. God, she couldn't get it out of her head. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that the entire thing was her fault. Yes, Nathan had made the bet, but he definitely wasn't to blame for the rest of it. Haley was the one who had practically begged him to fuck her. She hadn't begged him to make love to her like she so desperately wanted him to because in those moments, she didn't want to feel good about herself. She didn't want to experience something so intimate with Nathan…something that she knew would only bring them closer together. And she knew that if they had made love that day, she wouldn't have been able to leave him. But that was something she had to do. So instead, she had asked him to do what he did with every other girl. And at the time, it had made sense, but now it was the exact opposite. It shouldn't have happened like that. She shouldn't have allowed it to happen like that.
Nathan walked up the steps inside the library, taking two at a time. He knew she would be there. He knew because it was Tuesday night, and Haley was always at the library on Tuesday nights. She had an English quiz every Wednesday, without fail, and the library was where she liked to study for those quizzes. Nathan had gone with her a few times and just watched her as she concentrated on her studies. She would sneak glances at him, and once on their way out she had pulled him in between two rows of books and attacked him with her lips. It had been hot as hell. Nathan genuinely smiled at the memory, but once his current circumstance came flooding back to him it faded.
Once he had made it through the maze of books that was the library, he saw her. She was sitting at one of the back tables, the one that she always sat at. No one else was there. It was nine o'clock at night, after all. No one else ventured off to the library at that hour…only Haley James. Again, he smiled and let it fade slowly. She looked frustrated as she tapped her pen on the table, and he knew his guess was correct when he heard her let out a long sigh. After taking a deep breath, he crossed the small space until he was in front of her table and cleared his throat.
Haley jumped, her pen immediately flying out of her hand. When she looked up and saw Nathan, she breathed a sigh of relief before glaring at him. She didn't want him to be there. She didn't want to see him, not when her emotions were so out of control. He could always read her so perfectly, and she knew tonight would probably be no different. The only time she knew she had hidden her emotions well was the day they were together in his dorm room. Even as their bodies became one, she could tell he didn't know what it meant for them. She could tell that he didn't know what to make of it all, and she could tell that he was scared. But she was scared, too, and she decided to focus on her own fears.
"You scared the hell out of me," she breathed.
"Sorry," Nathan muttered with a sheepish smile. "I didn't mean to."
Haley sighed and picked up her pen again, focusing her eyes on her paper. She was really behind on her homework. Even when she and Nathan were together and she'd zone out on him constantly, she'd still done well in all her classes. She hadn't let herself fall behind, but things were different now. She wasn't getting any sleep, and he was constantly on her mind. Everything she saw reminded her of him, and she hoped that one day that would go away because it hurt too much. Thinking about Nathan and knowing that their time together was over hurt too damn much. "Do you need something, or are you just here to annoy me?" she mumbled.
Nathan shrugged slightly. "How do you even know I knew you'd be here? Maybe I'm just here to study, too."
Looking up, Haley licked her lips. "You knew I'd be here, Nathan," she whispered.
"Okay, you caught me," he replied, looking at the ground. "The truth is I need your help, Hales."
"Sorry, I'm all out of sex today," she muttered, refocusing on her paper.
Nathan inwardly groaned but took a few steps forward, setting his papers down on her table. He sat down in the chair opposite her and placed his hands on the table. "That's not funny, Hales," he said softly.
"It wasn't a joke," she retorted, her eyes never leaving her paper. "Unlike our relationship."
"Don't do that," he replied, slightly glaring at her. "Don't pretend that our relationship didn't mean anything to you."
Haley looked up and set her pen down again. "I'm not, Nathan. Our relationship did mean something to me. But I know it didn't to you, so I'm just trying to make you comfortable."
Nathan drew in a long breath before slamming his good fist down on the table. "Damn it, Haley. You know that's not true. You meant everything to me. You still do."
"Well that's great," she said sarcastically, adding a fake smile. "Now tell me what you need help with so that I can say no and you can be on your way."
He shook his head with a bitter smile. "I'm failing French."
She scoffed. "And that matters to me why?"
"You don't have to be a bitch to me, Haley. I get that you're over me, but I'm not over you."
God, he was so wrong. She shook her head and ran a hand through her hair. She knew she was being a bitch, but she didn't know what else to do. Every time she was around Nathan she instantly became vulnerable, and although she had loved it in the beginning of their relationship now she hated it. Being vulnerable had ruined her relationship with him, as well as a lot of other things in her life. "I'm sorry," she said quietly.
Nathan ran a hand over his face roughly before looking at her again. "Look, I was just…I was just wondering if you could help me. You're the only person I know that knows this stuff and remembers it well enough to tutor me. I know you probably don't give a shit, but if I fail this class basketball's over. I'm already out for the next month, and I can't afford to miss anything more after that."
"Maybe you should've thought about that before unleashing your fists of fury on your teammate," she bit back.
"You think that I don't think about that every day?" he said loudly, standing up and kicking his chair away from the table. He quieted his voice but leaned forward with his hands on the table as he looked into her eyes. "You think I don't regret every decision I've made in the past few weeks? Making that stupid bet, proposing to you like a damn fool, punching Grant, and…being with you," he finished in a whisper.
Haley narrowed her eyes at him. "You mean fucking me?"
He closed his eyes and shook his head. He hated hearing those words come out of her mouth. It was so unlike Haley, and it only reminded him that that was exactly what had happened. He didn't want to hear it. "Stop it," he whispered, his voice cracking.
"Why?" she asked. "Why should I stop? That's what happened, right? We fucked. Don't act like that's not exactly what you wanted out of our relationship, Nathan."
"It wasn't," he protested, opening his eyes. "Not at all."
Haley shook her head. "And why don't I believe you?" When she looked at him, she was suddenly hit with a memory, and the realization hit her like a ton of bricks. "Oh, my God," she whispered. "That day…that day in the café with you and Luke…that was the bet you were talking about." She didn't form a question. Instead, she stated the facts as her eyes closed.
"Hales-"
"No," she interrupted him forcefully, looking him in the eye now. "You sat there and just lied to my face. I can't believe you." She shook her head in disbelief. "You know what, Nathan? I will help you. Not because I love you and sure as hell not because you deserve it. I'll help you because I know how much basketball means to you and as much…as much as I hate you, I don't want to see you lose that."
"What?" he muttered weakly, looking up at her. "You…you hate me?"
"What did you expect?" she mumbled, looking away.
God, he had known it was bad. He had known that she didn't feel the way she had a few weeks ago, but hate? How could she hate him after the intensity of their relationship? How could she hate him after everything they had shared together? "Forget it," he said, picking up his papers from the table and beginning to back away. "I'll find someone else to help me. Have a great life with Grant." He gave her a nod and turned around, quickly exiting the library.
"What are you doing, Hales?" Lucas asked quietly as he entered the café his friend worked at.
"I'm working," she answered simply as she picked up an order at the counter. "And we're kind of swamped right now, Luke, so I can't really talk." She gave him an apologetic smile before pushing past him to deliver the order she was carrying.
Lucas watched her carefully. Nathan and Haley were both struggling, and it just couldn't be any more damn obvious. Brooke had noticed, too, and their friends had become a pretty permanent topic of conversation for the couple. Lucas didn't know what they were feeling, but he did know how he felt about Brooke. And he knew that it was possible to fall in love in six weeks. He also knew that if he lost Brooke, he wasn't sure what he would do. It was killing him to see how much his brother and his friend were hurting. They were both being stubborn, and neither one was communicating with the other effectively.
When she came back by, Lucas grabbed her arm. "Just for a second, Hales."
Haley sighed and glanced around the busy café before nodding at him.
Lucas led her outside until they were directly outside the entrance. Then he looked at her sadly, placing his hands inside his pockets. "What are you doing?" he asked, repeating his question from earlier. "You haven't been yourself lately, Hales."
Closing her eyes briefly, Haley waved it off. "Luke, I've just been really stressed with work and classes. It's really not a big deal. I'm fine." She gave him the best reassuring smile she could muster.
Unfortunately, it wasn't very convincing. "You're not fine, Haley," Luke insisted. "And neither is Nathan. What did you tell me and Brooke when we were scared about opening up to each other? You said that we needed to communicate with each other or we weren't going to get anywhere. And you were right. I think that's what you and Nate need right now. You need to talk to him and tell him how you feel."
"Lucas, I don't want to talk to him," Haley snapped. "I don't. That's the truth. I don't want to speak to him, and I don't want to see him. It hurts too much. You're his brother. You know how he is with girls. I wasn't any different for him; you know that."
"No, I don't," Lucas insisted. "I'll admit that I had my doubts about Nathan's feelings towards you, but now…I don't know. He's lost without you, Hales. A blind man could see it."
She shook her head defiantly and crossed her arms over her chest.
Lucas sighed. "And by the way…what the hell are you doing with Grant?"
"Nothing," she responded simply. "We've hung out, like, twice. It's not like I'm into him."
"Nathan seems to think that you are."
"Well, Nathan needs to mind his own damn business," Haley replied. "We aren't in each other's lives anymore, and who I hang out with isn't up to him. It never was."
"Just think about it, okay? If for no other reason, do it for me. At least talk to him. I need my brother back." He looked at her sympathetically. "And my friend."
Haley managed to give him a nod and a small smile. "For what it's worth, I appreciate you caring, Luke."
He nodded. "Nathan cares, too, you know. But he's hurting just like you are. It may not be for the same reasons, but it's all pain."
She nodded slowly. "Did he…did he tell you what happened between us?" she asked quietly.
Lucas shook his head. "No, he didn't. And that's how I know it must have been bad. He tends to struggle through the big stuff alone. He's kind of like you in that way." He gave her a pointed look.
Haley let out a light laugh. "Alright, I've got to get back to work. I'll see you later." She gave him a quick hug before going back inside to finish her shift.
Another week passed without the two of them speaking, and things only got harder. Sometimes the pain was almost unbearable. Haley knew it might sound childish, but her heart ached for Nathan in ways she didn't even know it could. She wanted him so much. She wanted things to go back to the way they were before everything got so screwed up. She wanted a do over.
She just couldn't help the way that she felt. She couldn't help the fact that everything she and Nathan had been through left her with an insurmountable number of doubts and insecurities. Most of the time, she couldn't even understand her own feelings, let alone explain them to someone else. But she knew Luke had been right when he'd told her she and Nathan needed to work it out. She just wasn't sure she could do that yet. She needed time, and she needed space.
However, a part of her just ached to be around him. It was so intense that several times she considered giving in and going to see him. It was easy not to, though, since the team had been on the road for their games for most of the week. They were back though. She knew they were back because Brooke was out with Lucas tonight celebrating the team's latest victory.
Even if all they did was fight, it would be better than the silence. She made that decision in a split second, and after jumping out of her chair and slipping her shoes on, she rushed downstairs. Her knocks on his door were frantic. She needed to see his face and hear his voice. Her heart needed that.
"Hi," she said quietly after he had opened the door.
Nathan sent her a confused glance, but he definitely wasn't complaining about her being there. "Uh…hey," he replied uneasily.
"Can I…come in?" she asked timidly, wringing her hands together in front of her.
"Yeah, of course," he answered quickly, opening the door wider. Once she had entered, he closed the door quietly and looked at her. "What's up?"
Haley kept her eyes on her hands. "I…I don't know why I'm here. I just…I wanted to see you," she muttered meekly.
Nathan smiled slightly and took a step closer to her. "I'm glad you came," he said genuinely.
They stood there for long moments, both avoiding each other's eyes. It was the first awkward silence they'd experienced together, and neither liked the feeling. Finally, Nathan spoke, his voice soft but strong.
"I miss you."
She didn't know why, but for some reason her eyes filled with tears at hearing those words come out of his mouth. She tried to blink them away, but her efforts proved futile.
Nathan took a few steps closer until he was right in front of her and was relieved when she didn't move away. He brought a hand up to caress her cheek gently. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "God, I am so sorry I hurt you. I miss you so much."
Haley closed her eyes and couldn't help it when she naturally leaned into the touch of his hand. "Please stop saying that," she whispered back.
"Why?" he questioned. "It's the truth."
She bit her lip harshly, trying desperately to keep her tears at bay. "Because I don't deserve an apology from you," she whispered painfully. "I don't deserve for you to miss me…for you to love me."
"But I do," he replied. His body and brain were on fire right now. Haley was revealing things to him that he had been waiting to hear for weeks. All he wanted was for her to tell him how she was feeling and explain to him why she didn't want him anymore. But what she was saying made no sense. "And you do deserve it, Hales. Why wouldn't you?"
"Because everything that's happened between us has been my fault," she answered as a few tears finally escaped. She was saying things to Nathan that she hadn't yet admitted to herself, and if she was being honest that was one of the reasons she'd come to see him. Nathan made her see herself and be honest with herself in a way that no one else could. He really did make her brave…brave enough to face her own fears and brave enough to tell him the complete truth.
Nathan's eyebrows knit together. "Hales, that's not true. I'm the one that screwed up. I'm the one to blame, not you."
Haley shook her head, finally allowing herself to look up into his eyes. "Nathan, I'm the one that let this relationship go forward in the first place. I know we both messed up, but…but everything I did was so much worse. That day…" She buried her face in his chest and tucked her arms between their bodies. "It just…it wasn't supposed to be like that," she continued to whisper. "We weren't supposed to be like that."
He didn't have to ask her what she was talking about. He knew, and hearing how broken her voice was and how much she obviously regretted what they had done made his heart hurt. He couldn't stand knowing that she was in pain and that it was their relationship that had caused it. "I know, baby," he whispered back, wrapping both his arms around her. He could feel her wet tears falling on his shirt, and he closed his eyes. "I know," he repeated. "Shh."
Haley fisted his shirt as she listened to his soothing voice, but it just wasn't working this time. The things she was feeling were just too heavy. "I'm so sorry," she muttered. "I know that you waited a long time for me, and I just…I don't know what happened. I snapped. I didn't…I didn't mean it."
"Hales, there's got to be a reason," he said softly into her hair.
She pulled her head away from his chest slightly and sniffled. "I just wanted you to want me so badly," she said with a blush. "I wanted to be sexy and fun for you like everyone else. And I…I didn't want him to be the last one to have me. I didn't want him to have that over me…over you. Because he never meant as much to me as you did."
Nathan tried not to let the fact that she was speaking about her feelings for him in the past tense get to him. And again, he didn't have to ask who she was talking about. He knew.
"And I think the whole bet thing just triggered it all," she added with a small shrug.
Nathan rubbed her back slowly with his left hand and placed a kiss on her shoulder through her t-shirt. "Baby, I know you don't believe me, but I always wanted you. Always," he reiterated, lifting her chin so he could see her eyes. "And I never wanted you to be like them. I only wanted you to be yourself. That's enough for me, okay? You're perfect for me. I don't want anyone else." He paused. "And you're not the one who should be apologizing. I should have been strong enough to know that you didn't want that. I should have been strong enough to stop it."
"Why did you do it?" she whispered. "The bet, I mean."
Nathan sighed softly and shrugged his shoulders. "I honestly don't know the answer to that question. I wish that I could tell you, but I don't know why I did it, Hales. I was a jackass." He saw her look away, obviously not pleased with his answer. "Look, all I was interested in then was sex…from any girl. But I didn't know you, and once I got to know you none of it mattered anymore. You were just this amazing girl who had the ability to take my breath away and make my heart race. You still do…with everything you do. I didn't need sex anymore; I never did. And that's not why I proposed to you either. I proposed to you because I wanted you to be my wife, and I still want that, Haley."
"Then why did you say you regretted it?" she asked. "That day at the library."
He looked down and shrugged. "I said that because…because I know that you don't feel the same way that I do, Haley. I could feel it then, and I can feel it now. You don't want me the way that I want you. You never did." His voice was low, barely above a whisper. "And proposing to you when you obviously didn't feel the same way that I did wasn't fair to you. None of it was fair to you. What we did the day you found out about the bet wasn't fair to you."
"Nathan, none of it was fair to you either," Haley replied quietly.
Nathan's eyes filled with tears, but he kept them glued to the ground so she couldn't see. And it wasn't because of the intensity of the situation. It wasn't because he finally had Haley in his arms again. It was for one reason and one reason only. He had just accused her of not wanting him and not feeling towards him the way he felt towards her. And she hadn't denied it…any of it. His heart was breaking, and no matter how that made him sound it was true. "Haley," he started softly, breathing in the scent of her shampoo as he held her tighter. "I love you, okay? I love you more than anything in this world, and I want you. And just…more than anything, I want you to love me back. But you don't." He pulled away from her and took a few steps back, wiping at his eyes.
"Nathan, that's not true," Haley whispered breathlessly.
"You said you hated me," he whispered brokenly as he looked up at her.
Haley closed her eyes. "Nathan, I didn't…I don't hate you, okay? I wasn't thinking."
He shrugged his shoulders. "Then I guess that's the difference. I could never hate you, Haley, and more than that I could never say those words to you." He shook his head. "And maybe you don't hate me, but you don't love me either."
"Nathan…" More than anything, Haley wanted to tell him that she loved him, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Something inside of her was stopping her from saying the words, and she hated herself for it. He looked so hurt and so defeated. She'd never seen Nathan Scott like that before.
Nathan nodded sadly. "Yeah," he whispered.
"Nathan, I'm so sorry," she whispered back, her vision blurred from her tears. "I just…I can't do this right now. I can't be with you."
"I get it, Haley," he mumbled.
"No, you don't," she replied.
Nathan held both his hands up. "Just…if you're going to go, then go. I don't want to keep you."
His voice wasn't malicious or angry, and that's what made Haley feel even worse for hurting him. He just sounded…so hurt and miserable. She didn't want to be the one making him feel that way. Wiping her eyes, she walked towards him and leaned up on her toes. "I'm sorry," she whispered again before leaving a long kiss on his cheek. "I'm really sorry," she repeated a moment later and then rushed out of the room.
Nathan stood there, his feet rooted to that spot, for a long while. He didn't even want to move. But after God only knows how long, he made his way over to his nightstand and opened the top drawer. He pulled out the black velvet box that had been sitting inside and opened it, staring at the engagement ring just as he had done the night he proposed to her. But this time, after he'd snapped the box shut he stood up and grabbed his car keys.
He drove for over two hours until he finally pulled up in front of the lake behind his mom's old house. He got out of the car but not before grabbing the ring box and clutching it tightly in his hand. He approached the lake slowly and stared out at the water for a good twenty minutes before rearing back and throwing the box as hard as he could into the lake. Afterwards, his hand returned to his pocket, and he fingered the ring inside of it.