Ten Feet from Vex...
Cupcake's ears flickering and speed slowing is my first sign something is wrong. The silence that fills the woods is the next. Sapphire pulls Lucky up beside me with shaky hands and her reins pulled too tight. Her horse begins walking backwards before she slackens her reins.
"What's-". I shush her. I do my best to look calm and collected as I scan the woods surrounding the rocky path we're riding down. I'm certain I've failed. My heart is thundering against its cage, my throat has tighten to the point that breathing is painful, and my lowest layer of fur is soaked with sweat already. I can't help it. Fighting by myself is one thing, but fighting beside my squire is another entirely. I've utterly and completely failed to see any of my squires to knighthood.
Sapphire's going to be different. She has to be. My eyes find nothing among the brush, but I don't believe it. Cupcake's smarter than most people and knows danger when it's coming. I feel completely naked without my thick armor protecting me and Cupcake likewise stripped of his armor. I keep scanning over the brush trying to find my enemy. It's near the base of a tree not three feet from Cupcake that I find what I'm looking for. Two tremendous, amber eyes are looking at me from the darkness surrounding the tremendous tree. I pray they're the eyes of a lone wolf waiting for unwary prey to wander by its hiding spot.
Suddenly, the eyes begin to move higher up while still remaining in the scarce darkness of the tree. The eyes go up, up, up until they're towering above me. A bear, then. Alright, I can handle a bear. I had to fight a lot of them back in Cyrodiil. The damned animals near ruled the wilderness back there. I silently slide my sword from its scabbard and, slowly, dismount Cupcake. I never break contact with the amber eyes gazing at me from the dark. Sapphire, thankfully, is smart enough to stay silent and watch me work. If I'm lucky, I'll slay the bear with ease and be able to implement some knowledge upon my squire. I've dismounted and prepare to walk forward.
What steps into the light causes me to freeze. The woman's taller than anyone I've ever talked to, though that's not the reason I stop. I've killed men and women who make her look short. No, the reason I stop is what she's wearing. Thick, tangled pelts make her a walking mess of hide. Bones woven throughout her clothing and her tangled, dark hair speak to what she is. Nothing more than a simple bandit roaming the roads and looking for someone to rob. A rusted sword and busted shield attest to how successful the woman's been.
She's just a bandit. Nothing more. She bleeds like everyone else. She doesn't even have armor on. A simple slash across her unprotected neck before she can get her shield up can end this before it begins.
I've been repeating that mantra since I became a knight. It's suppose to be my job to kill bandits to protect citizens. Even now, I can't do it: My sword arm is beginning to shake and rattle against my will; my throat has completely shut and cut off any semblance of air; my knees are failing me enough I know I'm about to fall; and, worse of all, my vision is beginning to blur with water. This woman could be anyone. She could be a robber or a thief or anyone else. But I know the look of a bandit. It's in the way they walk and move and speak. She hasn't spoken yet, but I can see the power in her shoulders and cruelty in her eyes. This woman's a bandit that's been chased away from her own kind.
I can't handle normal bandits, let alone ones like her. My sword and shield clatter to the ground and soon enough my knees join them. A high, crazed cackle causes me to flinch as I close my eyes and turn my head downwards. Many people rage and howl about how submission is worse than death, but most would rather bow their heads that be slaughtered like lambs. Letting a bandit take me is better than the alternative. Calloused, rough fingers dig deep into my mane until her nails are scrapping against my scalp. I keep my eyes close as my head is turned upwards. The familiar sensation of a chain being draped around my neck greets me.
What happens next isn't what's supposed to happen. I'm suppose to be collared and drug deep into the woods to become the bandit's. Instead, a coppery, hot liquid splatters my lips and a huh noise fills my ears. I pry my eyes open. The bandit's amber eyes are dull and a dagger protruding from her chest speaks to what the cause is. Slowly, the bandit wobbles before making a thunk noise as she falls to the side and collides with the ground. As she goes, the dagger slides out of her and baptizes me for a second time in blood. Sapphire now stands where the bandit did. Only she takes the chain off my neck instead of placing it. The second the chain is off my neck the stupor I was in is broken.
Burning shame fills me entirely and I can't find it in myself to look Sapphire in the eyes as I stand. This is the second time a squire has had to save me from bandits. I can't handle them. Ever since I was a child, fighting bandits makes me freeze and panic. Hence, why I never travel the roads alone. It'd be my biggest shame if I was captured by bandits without any type of fight. Sapphire was the one doing the fighting, but if she'd lost I could at least kid myself into believing I'd been taken against my will rather than submitting. I turn back towards Cupcake and start walking. I don't want to say anything to Sapphire. I want to get riding and pretend this never happened.
"Ah-hum.". I ignore Sapphire and grab onto Cupcake's saddle. My horse betrays me and begins backing away. The damned animal's too smart for his own good. If he keeps it up he'll be dinner before this is over. I try once again to mount him. Cupcake either knows I love him too much to harm him, or he's arrogant enough to think he's smarter than me. Either way, he backs up again.
"Ah-hum!". I can't meet her eyes, but I turn towards Sapphire. I feel my ears being flattened to my skull and my tail beginning to twitch. My voice is far quieter than I want it as I speak. It even cracks. "
What?". My breathing and pulse still aren't even. Sapphire speaks quietly, but I can hear a bit of an edge in her voice.
"What was that?". I try to think of anything to tell her. Of any lie I can give this woman. I barely manage to glance at her face, but it tells me all I need to know. She won't believe anything I have to tell her unless it's the truth. I want so badly for my squire to think of me as the brave, strong knight that I yearn to be. I want Sapphire to think I can never be beat and that I always know what I'm doing. It's what I've done with all my squires. And, always without fail they find out something about me that ruins the image.
I'd been hoping Sapphire would find that something later rather than sooner, but the gods have other plans. I need to train this woman to become a true knight like I am. Showing her the truth is important and that even knights have weaknesses will help her. Besides, I need Sapphire to trust me if I'm going to pull this mission off and get what I need. I swallow my pride and look down towards the ground. I need to tell her what she needs to know, but I still can't bring myself to look into her eyes as I tell her.
"I can't fight bandits.". A scoff causes my spine to shudder and my pride to flare. I want to argue. I want to tell Sapphire to stop scoffing and to accept that it's a real and common issue of not being able to fight bandits. I don't. Nair convinced me long ago that weathering the scoffs is better than looking like a fool defending myself. He might not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but he has his moments. Still, I cringe as Sapphire begins to speak again.
"You can't fight bandits?". I nod and keep looking at the ground. Sapphire begins to scoff again, but stops halfway through.
"Because of your parents.". It's not a question and even if it was, it's still true. I watched my parents, the best damned knights in the order, be slaughtered like sheep on two separate occasions. First, I watched my father die. Then, I was forced to spend almost a year with the bastards because the leader kept imagining there was some search party coming for me that she could ransom me off to for a small fortune. Only nobody besides my mother was looking for me. Oblivion, the only reason I survived was because one of the bandits was a big enough fool to keep claiming there was a reward coming, and my mother finding the bandits. The only reason I survived when my mother didn't is because the only bandit who survived was foolish enough to let me go and believe I'd reward him for his service.
I rewarded his service by hunting him down and making him pay. But Sapphire knows the last part. What she doesn't know is that one man is the only bandit I've ever killed and, when I killed him, he was hardly a bandit at all. I can't stand up to real bandits. Each time I see them I just remember watching my parents die and the year I spent in their service. Warriors and knights alike often mock bandits for being a "starting enemy" for weaker adventurers. I can't handle them. And, now Sapphire knows that.
Now she knows her mentor can slay bears and wolves and wizards but can't kill a simple bandit. If Sapphire wasn't here, then I would've fallen to my knees and let the bandit take me without so much as a word of protest. If it were up to me I'd slay every bandit I saw to avenge my parents and the wrongs done to me. Only I can't. It's nature for me to just drop to my knees and wait for the bandits to do whatever they have in mind.
The only mercy is that Sapphire understands. She understands this comes from my parents and not from me being merciful or kind. She still knows I'm a knight worthy of following that can kill anything. Just not bandits. Suddenly, a soft hand comes to rest on my shoulder. I can't read Sapphire's face when I finally look at it. She's biting her lip and furrowing her brow. Her voice isn't any easier to read as she speaks.
"Hey, come on. It's not that bad. I'll take care of the bandits and you take care of the dragons, okay?". I begin shaking my head. All of my squires that found out my secret would try the same thing. They'd try to tell me I either didn't need to fight bandits because I was too important, or because they weren't worth my time. I cut off her argument before she can start.
"Knights are supposed to be able to fight anyone. Including bandits. I'm a failure to my oath.". Sapphire is silent for a long while and just keeps looking me in the eyes. When she speaks, it's oddly comforting.
"It must feel like shit feeling that way.". My chest lightens and, somehow, my worries seem to smooth over a bit. I nod as my ears come up and my tail stops twitching. What I say next is enough to cause Sapphire to offer me a small smile.
"You know, it does.". Sapphire nudges me towards my horse.
"Come on, this road's safe because of the guards. We won't run into anymore of them.". It's ridiculous to be comforted by her, but I can't help it. I loosen up and, thankfully, Cupcake lets me on him. I wait until Sapphire is remounted to nudge Cupcake forward. I can only pray the next enemy I find is a bear.