When the nausea finally passed I went to my room. My bed was still rumpled from the impromptu make out session. I grinned as I straightened out the bedding, I hoped to straighten out more bedding in the future. The nearer the better. Kissing someone, touching someone, who actually relishes those moments; welcomes them even, it's like you've broken the sound barrier for the very first time and you're running on that high. I sighed and settled on top of the made bed.

The brothers called a few hours later letting me know what was going on. Demons had descended but didn't enter the diner. Crowley didn't show up, but plenty of his minions did. Which means one of two things, it was a show of force or it was meant to scare me into giving myself up by showing me what could happen to an entire town in a matter of hours if I was there. The best place for me was in the bunker. That was made explicitly clear by Sam and Dean. I couldn't so much as step foot out of the bunker without someone being alerted in Hell. My Mother agreed.

After much back and forth between the magical box, she made her feelings of me leaving the bunker clear. An army of nymphs may have been mentioned to keep me in its safe confines. Especially when I let it slip that I had been cursed. I also told her about Castiel and the recent shift in our relationship. Her exact written words were: 'Of course you're together, you don't risk your life for just anyone. Hades won't be happy, dear. He hates those fluffy winged self-riotous bastards. His words not mine.' I wasn't too worried about Hades, he had very little pull in my life, but in my death, oh, he could probably make his displeasure known.

I then connected to the slower than molasses wi-fi and caught up on Netflix shows, mildly surprised that my account hadn't been canceled yet. Mid-episode of a police procedural a beat of wings alerted me to the new visitor to my room. I closed the laptop and sat up, Cas stumbled into the room. His wings drooped behind him. "Whoa," I was on my feet in a matter of moments and slid my arm around his waist. "I've got you." I helped him to the bed which he heavily sat on. "Do you need something?" It was silly and completely unnecessary but I pressed my palm to his forehead checking for a fever which I knew wouldn't be there.

"My grace," His words were slow and measured. "it is weakening. I have been back to full power for so long I'd assumed that it was permanent." He'll be supercharged for awhile.The words suddenly came back to me. This was on me. Stupid me. I should've warned him that this would happen. I essentially gave him a double shot of espresso and now he was crashing.

"I think it's my fault." I took a seat next to him. "I charged you up when I healed you." He looked at me silently. "I could try to do it again." I offered and raised my hands. "Although, I'm not quite sure how I did it in the first place."

He took a long time to respond. Like he was seriously considering the offer. "No." His voice hardened. "It almost killed you last time." I linked our hands and squeezed them in a silent thanks.

"Will you be okay?"

He nodded. "I will. I will just be…slower." His gaze wandered to our linked hands. "I will not be able to come as often. Sam and Dean, they rely on me."

Another squeeze on my end. "I'm safe here Cas." I smiled. "Besides being bored and a little lonely, I'm not suffering." I stood, letting our hands fall apart. "I'll still be here when you have time to visit." I paused for a moment, a sudden thought came to mind. "Hey, Cas?" I hesitantly asked. He looked at me inquisitively. "Dean said that he was going to but they're busy with that ghost case, so I was wondering if you could teach me how to fight?"

"I think that that would be wise." He answered. "Fighting is an essential skill in our lives and it would be beneficial if you could defend yourself." I smiled excitedly, Dean and Sam, they're pretty awesome at what they do but learning from Castiel was an opportunity that I couldn't miss. He was strong, he was able to lift me like I was no problem which not even Sam or Dean had attempted. The few moments that I had seen him defend himself he was fluid, he moved with the battlefield not just going at it head on like the brothers seemed to do. Besides the entities I would potentially face would be stronger than any human, getting pummeled by an angel, despite the waning grace, would definitely give me a taste of what was to come.

"Can we start now?" I looked him over, he didn't look to be at a hundred percent. "Or we can wait until-"

"No." He cut me off. "We should start today; I don't know when I will be called away next." He stood on steadier feet and shrugged off both is coat and jacket.

"Library?" I swallowed. "Let me get changed and I'll meet you there." He nodded and closed my door with a soft click. I practically bounced to my wardrobe and selected a pair of leggings and a loose fitting tank. My dress pooled at my feet and I looked about as athletic as I ever have. I didn't have any sneakers so I went barefoot down the hall, humming slightly as I got to the library.

He had pushed the tables back and set out a few dusty looking spongy mats. "What's first?" I stepped onto the rough textured mat and stood across from him. He tilted his head and after a second he charged at me. I tensed and his body impacted with mine and I hit the mats with a wheeze and a plume of dust. "Fuck." I gasped. "A little warning would be nice."

Mirth rose in his eyes. "You don't usually get a warning when someone wants you on the ground." He helped me up. "Battle is unpredictable. Your guard must never be down." I brushed off the dark fabric of my tank top which was now dusted in how many years' worth of dust. "We will start with finding your balance. Sam is quick and uses his height to his advantage, he uses the environment around him to take down an enemy. Dean uses his strength, going at an enemy head on, he is brutal and uncompromising. So we find what your strength is." He shrugged. "Now try and take me down." I quirked an eyebrow, I knew the strength that he held in that unassuming form. He didn't look as intimidating without his coat but the look in his eyes screamed anything but warm and friendly. He looked predatory despite his relaxed stance with his hands in his pockets and slightly hunched forward. He could surely fuck me up with just his pinkie finger.

I ran at him. He was expecting it; how could he not expect it? Even at full speed, I didn't budge him an inch. My arms tried is push him over but the only success in that was me slipping on the mats. His hands came out of his pockets and he gripped me around the middle tightly and my back hit the ground again. He stood above me a glimmer in his eye. "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, big guy." I grumbled. He held out his hand which I pointedly ignored and got to my feet again.

"It was a valiant effort." I glared at him, he was totally mocking me. "Again."

This was how it went for ages. I would run at him, jump on him, even tried to knee him in the balls, he blocked that one, but he still didn't budge. Sweat beaded on my forehead. "What do you want me to do?" I threw my hands up. "I can't get you to the ground, you're too strong."

He had the gall to grin. "That's the point of this exercise." I huffed in clear displeasure. "You will not be able to take me down with your strength alone."

At this moment I had what one would call a 'light bulb' moment. I couldn't get him to the mat with my strength alone but I could get him to the mat and entirely different way. It may or may not be considered cheating but I couldn't find it in me to care. With short steps, I stood a hairsbreadth away from his chest. I tilted my head to look at him. He met my gaze with a questioning one of his own. My hands rested on his chest and he gripped my wrists. "Cora." His voice held a warning tone. "We are meant to be-"

I cut him off with my lips with a little help from the tips of my toes. He didn't freeze like I expected, didn't push me away in favor of continuing the lesson, nope his grip around my wrists faded in favor of the grip on my hips. He pulled me forward pulling our two bodies together as I leaned the majority of my weight on his.

Now just to get him to the ground.

My hands tugged at his hair and he let out a muffled groan. He was putty in my hands. His hands ran up and down my back before he abruptly broke away. "Valiant effort." A wicked grin split his features and I pouted. He took a few steps away. "Again."

I grumbled a few choice words under my breath and I faced off against him again. I hadn't escalated my attempts at tackling to violence but at this point, I didn't have another option. I was tired of getting back up after being pushed down. I came at him again but this time with a closed fist. The half-hearted attempt at a punch hurt me than it did him. His face tilted to the side and I heard a muffled pop before an agonizing pain spread itself from my hand. I whimpered and shook out my hand. I had tucked my thumb into my palm. "Fuck!" I groaned and cradled it to my chest. "What the hell is your face made of?" I asked rhetorically pacing up and down the mat.

"Let me see." He ordered placing a hand on my shoulder. I sniffed turning and holding my hand out to him. He tsked when he saw it. "You have definitely broke it." He covered my hand with both of his. His hands glowed and a numbing feeling of warmth spread up and down my fingertips.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled. Sorry for punching him, sorry for breaking my thumb, sorry for making him use his already limited powers.

"You don't have to apologize." He let my hand drop back to my side and I flexed my thumb, good as new. "I should've assumed you've never fought before. It was foolish of me to expect you to know how to throw a punch." He grabbed my right hand and folded my hand into a fist leaving the thumb out of the occasion. "Always leave your thumb out." He pulled instructed me to keep my fist in the air. "Feet shoulder length apart, one foot slightly further out than the other," He circled behind me as I adjusted my stance. His hands went to my hips. "when you swing shift your stance." His hands didn't leave my hips as I threw my first punch into the air. He adjusted me minutely. "Good."

We went like that for awhile. He showed me how to throw a punch from various positions. Left hook, right hook, on and on we repeated the motions until it was all muscle memory. I was only hitting air but it felt good to know that I wasn't a hundred percent useless, I was probably only ninety-five percent useless now. "I believe that is good enough for today." He murmured after the umpteenth repetition. I let my hands fall to my sides and his left my hips.

"Thank you, Castiel." I grinned at him as I turned around. "You've been a good teacher today." He nodded, he clearly didn't believe me. "Hey, that thumb thing was on me, not you, all you did give me an instruction, I'm the one who decided to punch you." He still wasn't looking at me. I cupped his cheek his stubble tickling my palm. "It's my responsibility, not yours." This self-deprecating bullshit was not going to fly with me. My actions were my own, not his. "Cas, cut the shit." His eyes swung to mine in mild surprise. "You and me, we won't work if you put all the guilt on your shoulders. We are two individual beings with our own individual wants, desires, impulses, what we do is within our control. What's out of our control is what each other do, I will get hurt, maybe by my own actions, maybe by someone else's. But it is never your fault." I told him seriously by eyes unflinchingly staring into his own.

"But-" I cut him off with a press of my lips to his. I drew back quickly before I got sucked into the kiss.

"No. You don't get to do that." My eyes softened. "You've felt responsible for everything for so long, Lucifer, angels falling, hell even when Sam and Dean get hurt on the field." I sighed. "While admittedly, some of your actions led to it happening you are not in control of what happens after you let go of the situation. You have to stop blaming yourself and let go Castiel." Deep and bottomless blue drew me in. "You're doing absolutely everything you can to fix all that you've done wrong, so please let go of that guilt." He pulled me to him his arms wrapping tightly around my back and burying his face in my neck. His wings had completely dropped to the ground and lay listless against the mats and marble. He didn't shake, he didn't cry, he just held on for dear life. I ran my fingers through his hair soothingly as he let himself hold onto someone else for a change.

He was so used to people taking from him he wasn't used to people giving to him. I just hoped that I had enough to give.