Sheldon never understood what first date nerves were until he realised he had them. Over and above his usual battle with the Universe to make everything run smoothly was an overwhelming feeling of terror that he'd forgotten something important or that something terrible would happen.
On Penny's sofa, Sheldon sat stiffly upright, Penny leaning against him. His expression is rapidly cycling between distaste at physical contact and a smug grin of triumph.
"So, Our first proper date. Where do you want to go?"
"I've selected a restaurant, I believe its culturally appropriate to wine and dine your proposed romantic partner ?"
"Indeed it is. Are you going to be ok with all your germ worries and stuff? I'll shower before we leave, so don't worry about me."
"I've given this some serious thought and the restaurant I've selected has good reviews and consistently excellent hygiene ratings. I've booked us a table and a car. "
She chuckles at his determined expression.
You're pretty fierce when you set your mind to something arent you? The mysteries of the universe must quake in fear when you pick up a pen.
He smiles at her, glad she's acknowledged this simple truth. Indeed they do!
"Dress should be more formal than your usual attire for nights out. Something longer but still showcasing your sexual desirability. I approve of your backless black dress but don't have a full knowledge of your wardrobe yet."
"Honey, my wardrobe is like you Doctor whatsnames special box, even I don't know it all"
"Let us then hope for a portal to Narnia. Heh heh heh." His nasal laugh makes her cringe.
"A what?"
He looks at her blankly a moment.
"A reference you don't get. No matter. Your dresses, show me."
"Now that I understand!"
Taking him by the hand she leads him to her bedroom.
"So, longer but sexy? I know just the thing."
He sits on the end of her bed, hands on his thighs. She can almost see the spinning cogs in his head, he should have a sign saying "buffering.". Time for a little sexy fun, lets see if the good doctor is flesh and blood.
Turning to her piles of clothes she slips her top over her head. Good thing she wore a bra today. Then bending over slightly slower than necessary she wiggles her shorts down and steps out of them.
Now in just her underwear, the white cotton everyday stuff with the little flower pattern, she bounces to her dresses, picks one up and holds it to her body. She spins round, smiling her best million dollar cheeky grin, able to stun a guy across the bar in one shot. "How about this one?"
Sheldon is sitting perfectly still, he's not moved an inch. Has she broken him already? She can see a vein in his forehead stand out, did his brain explode?
Sheldon is far from his comfort zone and feels like a drowning man floundering in a sea of biological urges and strange needs. His heart rate is sky high and his instinct is to just turn tale and run. He steels himself not to panic . I want this. I want to be here. I want Her. I will do this. I will be here. I will have her. Holding that thought he forces his panic down, reminding his raging biology who is in control.
"What do you think Sweetie? "
He comes back from some internal reverie, slowly exhales.
"Very... aesthetically pleasing"
She can see him floundering in this new situation and feels sorry she didn't take it a little slower, but then a new expression takes over, a determined set to his jaw, a sureness in his eye she's not seen before.
Did i just see him level up? She wonders.
He tilts his head to one side and motions with his hand. "Turn"
She does a slow turn, feeling those suddenly sure eyes on her.
He shakes his head, says "No" firmly and gestures for her to cast it aside. "Try another".
She holds up two more, one in each hand, deliberately framing her body between the two.
"Patterned or plain?"
"Plain. A single bold colour."
"I've this in blue? Or how about this in red?"
"The red." He nods in approval as she holds it up. "Try it on and show me."
She smiles to herself, He's certainly having fun giving orders, and strangely she is finding it kind of fun to dress up and show off for him.
She slips the red dress over her head, a long sleek silky sheath of a dress in bright red. She wiggles and smoothes the fabric over her hips, enjoying the feel of it on her skin.
She turns to show the zipper to Sheldon, starting to ask "could you..." but he's already standing, closer than she realised, she starts as he puts one hand on the base of the zipper on her back, the other pulling it closed as she lifts her hair with both hands.
"Keep your arms up."
His breath is hot on the back of her neck.
He puts his hands on her hips, turning her slowly, admiring her.
Is that actual lust she can see in his eyes?
"Arms higher, stretch up"
She lifts her arms, hands pointed to the ceiling, stretching her back and going up on tiptoe, shifting her weight side to side in a sinuous sway, posing for him.
In a low sultry voice she asks "like what you see? "
He swallows and nods rapidly. His nerves have returned with a vengeance. "Very much. Wear that tonight." He heads for the door rapidly "I have to prepare".
As soon as the door closed Penny doubled over laughing. What a wack-a-doodle. But there was definitely something going on inside him worth investigating.
She turned to the wreckage of her underwear drawer, mischief on her mind. Where were those stockings? Let's see how he copes with that!
Back in his room Sheldon is hyperventilating with his back pressed to the door. Things are moving and changing way faster than he had predicted, too fast for him to control.
It'll be fine.
I'm not going to do anything she doesn't want to.
It'll be fine.
I'll explain. Be clear. Get permission.
It'll be fine.
The hero is always fair.
His memory recalls a scene from the James Bond film Live and Let Die. Solitaire in Bonds arms, a deck of tarot cards spilled to the floor, all showing "The Lovers".
A sly smile plays on his lips
But can stack the deck a little.