Days later, the incessant, relentless sound had yet to give her any peace. Parsee wanders the bridge, dark rings wrapped around her eyes, with a sound creeping in her ears that several layers of cloth and a good few steps did nothing to muffle. Is it quite so loud, or is she imagining it?
Tick.
She paces back and forth a few times, before slumping her shoulders in defeat. She needed... well, a break from this. From this ever so thoughtful gift that was slowly driving her out of her mind- no, no. The years had seen to that much already. Still, it was all getting to be too much.
Tick.
She needed a voice. As usual. Another voice to drown out the sound. Not her own, though it echoes against her thoughts, but another. White noise to give her some peace and quiet. Here, that means... The bridgekeeper breaks into a quiet sigh, all by herself. Seija. Of course. Something like a laugh, bitter and sharp, slips from her mouth for a few seconds. Seija. To comfort her through something the amanojaku had done herself, and gladly at that.
Tick.
What a pair they made, the two of them. Now, where had she gone off to? The bridge and either side of it are bare, and she couldn't very well go by footprints on hard stone. Was that a glimpse of red there, over by the ledge? She makes her way towards it little by little, hopeful, but a little wary too; she could always find Seija there, after all. Looking for her didn't particularly make that a more appealing prospect.
Tick.
"Did something catch your interest?" Parsee asks, as she settles down to sit beside the distracted youkai. Seija had been sitting there on the little ledge for some time, by the look of it, staring at the lights of the city below. On some level, the bridge princess couldn't help but fret a little at the thought of sitting here, but their feet almost touched the ground in any case. It wasn't too far down, nervous as she might be.
"More or less. Don't like that town up close, but it's the only thing worth looking at from here. Those lanterns aren't half bad. Got me wondering, though. You know much about this place?"
Parsee thinks for a little while, head tilted ever so slightly to one side. She was never inclined to boast, really, but she had picked up a good deal. On the other hand, it is probably less than most who had been underground for so long, chained as she is. Finally, she settles on an acceptable answer.
"More than I would like," the bridgekeeper concedes eventually.
"Good enough. How'd they end up here, then? Did most of the youkai just live down here since forever ago or something?" She had curiosity and a guide of sorts to keep her entertained, for now. It would be as good a way as any to pass the time, with how little there is to do in this place.
"...No, not as such," Parsee answers after some deliberation. "The oni were informally cast out en masse, if memory serves. As Yuugi tells it, tensions on the surface became rather too much to bear, and they found themselves an occupation of sorts down here. The satori sisters, too, left the sunlit world when it would no longer tolerate them. Many of the youkai here were banished, considered either too dangerous, vile or ill-tempered for the rest of Gensokyo. It's a city of exiles we have here, in the end. Or an entire cave of them. Of all those I've seen here, I can think of only two that belong in this place."
Seija nods along slowly, with a thoughtful look, apparently mulling something over. "What about you?" She asks eventually.
"A-a story for another time," Parsee manages uncertainly, caught off guard. No time at all, with any luck. Some prices are too high to pay even for another voice. The amanojaku shrugs, rising to her feet and walking off. After a moment, she follows, and the two walk towards the bridge once again.
"Looks to me like they did alright out of it," Seija comments eventually, casting one more glance over her shoulder at the distant lights and crowded streets far below. An oasis of light and life dropped in the middle of cold stone. "Made a home for themselves down here, even in hell. It makes me think, really. Or wonder, at least."
Puzzled, Parsee quirks an eyebrow at her, giving the woman a curious look. "About what, exactly?"
Another little shrug. "Well, they don't mind it down here, far as I can tell. Some of them even like this place. You've been down here... what, a couple hundred years? Longer than I've even been alive by a fair bit. After all that time, you're still... you know, you. All mopey and frowning, the whole 'woe is me' package after so long. How do you do it?"
Parsee tenses slightly, walking stiffly to the bridge only to rest one hand on the railing, leaning against it for support, as if to catch her breath. "...We all have our own ways of dealing with crisis, I'm afraid. Theirs are not mine," she manages tersely. Her words could not have been more toneless if she wrote them down by hand.
"I mean," Seija continues, unperturbed – was she really so oblivious, or had a casual question turned into an unexpected opening for her? - "I've been down here for what, a month? A couple weeks over? Hard to tell down here. Should've got one of those bits of wood with notches in it or something. Point is, though, I don't even have one year down here, and I'm getting used to the place already! Come on, I put up with it, don't I? You don't see me complaining day in and day out, all 'torturous prison' this and 'miserable existence' that. I got forced down here just the same as you, and I'm fine with it, more or less. What's your excuse, with all the time you've had?" They weren't words Parsee had ever used, of course, but that didn't matter now.
The bridgekeeper's white-knuckled grip on the railing tightens further. Splinters force themselves into her palm, cracking under the pressure of her hand, but if she even notices, then she no longer cares. Was that a trickle of red from her palm, covering the wood's faded coat of paint? It doesn't matter, not in the slightest.
"...Miss Kijin. That's quite enough." If anything, that only seems to amuse the amanojaku further. Of course it did. There was really no way out.
"I bet it's the... what's it called, the curse? Heard about that, you know. It's not really your fault, is it?" She asks, voice dripping with sudden condescension. Did she mean it? Unlikely. Contempt was a prop like any other, and though she used it well, it wasn't hers. That didn't matter, right now, not to either of them. "Jealous day in and day out, isn't that right? You just can't help it, can you? Even if you haven't had a reason in years, even centuries. When you get right down to it," she says, jerking one thumb at her own face, "you can't even pretend you're any worse off than-"
"In all my years here," Parsee interrupts, "not once have I felt even the slightest touch of jealousy. The fear, if you recall, the anger that comes from the thought that another might take what you have. Look around you," she continues, taking the bridge in with a sweep of her arm. The desolate excuse for the prison that was no home of hers, the empty expanse of stone with some faltering attempts at life and comfort. "I have nothing. If you think you can steal it away from me, then you are more than welcome to whatever you may find."
Even now, with fury creeping into her words, she does not shout. It is almost a whisper, one that carries all too easily through a place quieter than it was a moment ago. As if the brittle, cold anger in her voice had frightened all the other sounds away. She lifts her bloodied hands from the railing, all but peeling them off, and takes a step towards Seija.
"You think you were forced down here? You told me your story, your endless excuses, built on nature and impulses," Parsee continues. Fighting back her shock, the copper-eyed youkai tries to muster some indignation to put behind her bluster.
"Is that how this is going to be? You're going to try to pin this on what I am?" Seija asks. This time, the bridgekeeper's voice rises ever so slightly in answer.
"Only on what you decided to be. You are not the horns on your head. You are not the spite in your eyes. You are not the blood on your hands. You still had a choice." How? How could she have something Parsee longed for so dearly, and not even notice it? The sheer ignorance burns in her thoughts, and it's all she can do to keep those green flames from showing.
"You enjoyed it, didn't you, every step of the way? You never regretted it for a moment when you burned the world around you. No false promises, no secrets or lies to live through. You could change the world in a day, you-" she cuts off for a moment. Something else she could never call her own. "You meant something. Even now, with your life crumbling down around you, one day, you will leave. How long, I wonder? Weeks? A month? Four hundred years? I've forgotten the warmth of the sun. I can't remember the feeling of the wind on my skin. I have only hearsay to believe on the colour of grass. I will never see any of it again, all because I dared to trust."
Parsee waits then, expecting an answer. Nothing comes, only a stare from those red eyes, like fired bricks or burnished copper. Was that fear she saw in them? Did it matter? She can only hold back the words for so long. The bridge is quieter now, beyond her own voice. Somewhere, she hears its faint voice, almost drowned out by her own furious tirade.
Tick.
"Now I am less than nothing, a monster, a story to frighten children," she hesitates – it's a bitter truth to swallow even after this long - "Yes, I'll admit it, there's too little left of me that's still human. I am tied to a prison that's not only meaningless, but forgotten. I live the life of a beggar without a bowl, and I can expect nothing else for the rest of my long life. After this – after all this – you think it takes a curse?" When had her hands found their way to Seija's neck? Could it really be so easy to lift her up? She seemed so small now, fragile and light, like a rag doll.
"You think you have the right to reduce all this to an empty curse, a madwoman's delusions? You think I need eyes like mine to envy you?" For once, hatred burns behind those bright green eyes, not even for the one in front of Parsee, for a person and a time long gone. "I would tear them out here and now if I thought it would make a difference!" She flings the amanojaku away now, a small distance across the bridge, where she slams into the parapets with a sharp crack and slumps into a heap, unable to stand up, whether through shock or injury.
"One day, you will see the sun again. I won't be free of this. Not so easily." There is no anger left in her now, all drained away, only a resigned exhaustion. Collapsed a few steps away from her, wincing in pain, Seija somehow forces out a dry, halting laugh.
"...Hah. So that's what it takes. Never thought I'd see you snap like that; live and learn, I guess. Didn't think the one time I finally pull it off would be half by accident, either." Looking down at her without the haze of grief and indignation, Parsee's eyes widen in surprise, then alarm as she crouches beside the stricken youkai.
"Sh. Shhhh." Seija holds one finger in front of her lips, shaking her head slowly. "Simmer down, now. Doesn't suit you, flying off the handle like that. ...I mean, I like it and all – it's kinda fun, doing that to you - but what you did back there hurt like hell. J-just... give it a rest for now, you hear?" She sucks some air in through her teeth, wincing again and fidgeting in place.
"Are you-" Before Parsee can finish the question, she's cut off with a sharp nod as the amanojaku tries – with little success – to pull herself into a more upright sitting position, if nothing else.
"I've seen better days. I... ah, wow. Really did a number on me, huh? That's... sort of embarrassing. Caught me by surprise, but it still shouldn't be that easy." A nervous, almost frantic look finds its way into Parsee's expression, a silent apology for what she had allowed herself to do only a minute ago.
"I'm-" Seija cuts her off again, holding up one open hand.
"Stop. Just stop right there, you hear?"
"But-"
"What's it going to be? 'Sorry I flew off the handle just like you always wanted'? Or maybe you were planning on 'sorry you're so rusty a two-bit excuse for a youkai could turn you into a ragdoll'? Come on, Green. It's a joke and you know it." She reaches up to grab onto the railing, but her limp hand slides off it like water off oil, and she shakes her head stiffly. After a moment, she speaks again.
"Hey, Green. One thing."
"...Yes?" The bridgekeeper can't quite keep her voice from trembling ever so slightly, relieving the pressure with a small sigh.
"Help me up, will you? I could go for lying down somewhere other than this, and I'm... not quite sure I can walk right now, and... heh, you know I'm pretty light, now. Wasn't a problem for you earlier." Instead of answering, Parsee reaches out, and brings Seija to her feet, only to slowly carry the battered amanojaku in her arms, bringing her to the mattress to set her down.
The rest of the day passes by the green-eyed monster and the battered outcast without another word.