Walker heard the gunshot. He cried out her name and ran towards where he heard the gunshot. He looked in the stall and saw a very still Alex. His heart immediately sank. Her knees were still drawn up to her. Her left hand was wrapped around her legs, keeping them held to her. Her head was lying down, nestled in between her knees. Her right arm was lying on the ground, the gun still in her fingers. He ran to her. He picked up the gun and threw it out of the stall. He didn't see blood anywhere. He looked at her again. She lifted her head and he saw more pain in her eyes than he had ever seen in his life. He sank to his knees on her right side and pulled her to him. Tears freely streamed down both their faces.
He quickly looked around the stall. He noticed that when she fired the gun, she missed. It went into the left side of the stall. He figured she was shaking so bad from not having more than a t-shirt on, that she missed and it went over her head and into the stall wall on her left. He couldn't have been happier that she was shaking so badly. It saved her life.
"What the hell were you thinking Alex? Nothing, nothing in this world is worth doing that. I can't believe you would even seriously think about this, much less try to carry it out."
He lifted her head from his shoulder and held her face in his hands. With fresh tears streaming from his eyes, he looked in her tearful eyes and continued. "Alex you tried to kill my best friend. How could you? Do you know my life would have been over if you hadn't missed. I would have probably sat right here, held you in my lap, kissed you one last time, and turned that gun on myself. I cannot live without you Alex. Do you understand that? You are intoxicating to me and I am still as in love with you now as I was the day I asked you to marry me. How could you want to leave me Alex? I know Angela hurt you and I know she hurt you worse than you've ever been hurt in your life. I saw it in your eyes. Did you forget about that? Did you forget that I can see into your soul through your eyes? Did you forget how much I love you? Did you even think about how I would be able to live without you? Am I not important enough to you? Do you not love me enough to stay with me? Alex I'm hurt, I really am. I thought our love would get us through anything, but obviously I was wrong. I'm really sorry that I'm not enough of a reason for you to want to live. I thought I meant more to you, but again, I was wrong. I know you're hurting really bad Alex. But this isn't the answer. You leaving me here like this is not the answer. I love you too much. I need you. I cannot raise that child without you. I cannot live without you. I don't know what I've done for you to not even consider how I'd feel if you did this, but I'm sorry Alex, I really am."
She looked at him and flung herself on him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed with every ounce of strength in her. She began crying harder. She pulled her head off of his shoulder and looked him in the eyes, still holding onto him tightly, she pressed her lips to his, hard. She kissed him with everything she had in her. When she finally drew back, she looked at him.
"I didn't think Walker. All I thought about was how much she hates me, how much she doesn't want to ever talk to me again, and how she wishes I wasn't her mother." She said as she continued crying. "But Walker, I love you more than anything in this world. I didn't think about that. I didn't think about anything except what she said. I'm so sorry. I really am. I didn't even think about how you would feel. All I was feeling was my pain. I just can't believe she said those things to me. That's my little girl. I carried her in my body for 9 months. I gave birth to her. I've loved her unconditionally, and I will never quit loving her. But for her to tell me those things, it hurt. But I guess I just feel like she spoke the truth. She said everything that I've been thinking she feels. All she did was confirm what I've believed since this happened. It's my fault."
"Alex, honey, we need to get you some help…"
"Walker, please no. I don't want anymore people knowing about this. Please, I promise I'll talk to you. I'll let you help me."
"Alex, this is against my better judgment, but okay. I want you to get better; I don't want you hurting like this. You need to learn that this isn't your fault. But, please honey, you have to come to me when you're hurting. Come to me when you're upset. You know I'll help you any way I can. And no matter what you think, don't you forget that I love you. That will never, ever change."
She looked at him and nodded. She sunk down in his embrace, and for the first time since he got out there, he really noticed how bad she was shivering. "C'mon baby, let me carry you inside. You must be freezing." She nodded her head again and he picked her up, and then carried his precious burden to the house.
Once he got inside, he walked straight up the stairs toward their room. He pulled the covers back and tucked Alex into the middle of the bed. "Honey, I'm gonna go talk to Angela. Will you be okay for a few minutes?" "Yea." "Alright, you stay here and try to get warmed up some. I'll be right back."
Walker didn't get both feet in Angela's room before he was pounded with questions. "Daddy, I heard a gun go off. Where were you guys for so long and why did you carry Mommy up here?" Walker walked to the bed and set down beside her. "Whoa, Angel, Slow down. First of all, have you thought about what you said earlier to your mother?" "Yes sir. I'm sorry Daddy. I really am. I was just so mad. It's not fair. But I know it wasn't Mommy's fault. She'd never let anybody hurt me. Please tell her I'm sorry Daddy." "I think you should go do that Angel." "But wait a minute Daddy, what about my questions?"
"Well Angela, I'm not gonna lie to you. When you said what you said to your mom, you really hurt her feelings. Angela, you will probably never understand how much your mother loves you. She never imagined that you could say such things to her. You tore her to pieces and what you said to her hurt her worse than it would if it came from anyone else. You're very special to her. You've always been her baby girl, her pride and joy, her everything. Your mom went out in the barn and tried to hurt herself, which is what you heard. What took so long was us talking; I reminded her how much we need her. And I carried her up her because she's freezing cold. She was so upset after you yelled at her that she didn't grab her jacket. I bundled her up in the bed and told her I was coming to talk to you."
When Walker got done, Angela was near tears. She never realized that saying things she didn't mean could hurt someone so badly. She quickly thought back to what she had said. "Daddy?" "Yea?" Angela broke down crying. "Daddy I told her I wish she wasn't my Mommy. Daddy, please go tell her I'm sorry. I want her to still be my Mommy. She's the best Mommy in the whole world. I love her lots. Daddy, I love you, but I need my Mommy." "Well Angel, Why don't you go tell her?" "I can't. She's mad at me." "No she's not. I bet you she'd love it if you went in there and told her all that." "Will you go with me?" "Alright, c'mon." He picked Angela up and carried her into the master bedroom.
When he came in the room with Angela in his arms, Alex saw them and sunk deeper into the covers. She was too embarrassed to face Angela. Angela kicked her legs a little, letting Walker know that she wanted down. He let her go and she went running to the bed. Alex was shocked. This was a child, who thirty minutes ago, hated her. Angela hopped on the bed and sat on top of the covers in the middle, near Alex. Alex turned to look at her, unsure of what to do. The minute she caught her mother's eye, Angela began. "Mommy, I'm so sorry. Please don't be mad at me. I love you and you're the best Mommy in the whole world. I need you." Alex began to cry, for what she felt like was the millionth time that day. Angela continued on. "I know I said that I wish you weren't my Mommy, but it's just not true. I'm so sorry. I need you to color with me and to talk to me. And I love it when you let me help you cook supper. And when me and you and Daddy all play in the living room sometimes. I love it when you kiss me goodnight. And when you always listen to me. Mommy, you really are the best. I'm sorry that you tried to hurt yourself because of me. Please still love me and be my Mommy, please."
When Angela finished, all three of them were crying. Walker sat on the edge of the bed. Alex reached from underneath the covers to pull Angela to her. Angela eagerly latched onto her mother. Angela looked back the minute she touched her mom. "Mommy, you're cold." Alex didn't care. She just smiled through the tears. She had her baby girl back. Angela moved the covers and slid under them, cuddling up to her mother, hoping to help warm her up. Walker smiled, grabbed another blanket and tossed it over them. He then moved the covers and slid in on the other side of Alex.
Alex lay on her back. She had Angela cuddled into her left side with her head resting in Alex's left shoulder, with Alex's arm around her. Angela's left arm was wound tightly around her mother's waist. She didn't want to ever leave her mom's side again. Walker lay on Alex's right side. He was as near to her as possible, trying to warm her up. He was lying on his left side, holding her right hand with his left. He took his right arm and pulled the covers up to the three of them, and then protectively laid his arm across both of his girls.
They all laid there for a few minutes, until Alex finally spoke. "I love the two of you so much. I don't know what I'd ever do without either of you." Walker squeezed her hand. "Honey, we love you too. Angela was right; you are the best mother in the world. You're also the best wife and friend that any man could ask for and I'm eternally thankful that I was lucky enough to find you Alex." He looked up to see unshed tears and gently reached up to her and kissed them away. He then took his left hand out of her hand and put it behind her head. She took her right hand and put it on his head, drawing him to her. They began to kiss each other with a passion. They completely forgot where they were and most importantly, who else was there. Suddenly, a little voice spoke up. "Ewwwww! Y'all are gross. Mommy, Daddy is a boy, why are you kissing him?" Alex and Walker broke apart, giggles amongst them both. "Because I like to kiss him Angela." "Do you kiss other boys too?" Walker cut in, "She better not!" Alex laughed. "No baby girl, the only boy I'm ever gonna kiss is your daddy." Angela rolled her eyes. "But it's just so gross!" Walker reached over and ticked Angela in her ribcage, and soon the entire Walker household erupted in laughter.