11th of September 1881
I can't eat. I can't sleep. Thank god for the children. If it wasn't for them, I would have no reason to get up in the morning. If he ever comes back to me, I shall make everything up to him. I'll be the best little wifey in the whole world! I promise! I feel awfully lonely, but I guess that I have to get used to feeling this way. After all, next time I hear from my husband he will probably ask for a divorce. He doesn't love me anymore. He loves Molly Reardon. Young Molly Reardon who can give him more children. I can't but I wish I could. Now, more than ever, I wish that I hadn't miscarried in 1876. That baby was very important for us; it was supposed to bring some joy back into our marriage. I don't usually admit it, but things haven't been good between us for years. I love him very much, but I am tired of the constant bickering and arguing. I know that it is all my fault. I am therefore determined to put everything right if he comes back. If Nels returns home, I shall show him how much I love him and how much he means to me. He deserves that!