The evening ends as one can expect. The bottle is empty but Thomas isn't done. It's the middle of the week and thanks to the kind of control their favorite liar and his mother have over too many aspects of their lives and the city, they decide it's not really a good idea to make a move if they don't have a very good plan. Somewhere along the road of too much too drink and talking nonsense to keep the bad mood off, Barrow and Cal move a little closer together. They don't touch but that's not the point. They are used to be brushing along the edges of one another's comfort zones.
Thomas isn't blind enough to ignore that something that's going between them. And he doesn't comment when they move to sleep into the same room. None of his business. At least they have something to hold onto when the dreams get worse and the sleep won't come.
People get what they need, he guesses. He's not jealous. They fit alright. Like all the times he watches his rebel parents he can't just stop thinking if he's just not compatible. If something is wrong with his head if the only person he really wants to be with is doing no good. They push and pull and hurt. It's gotta be me, he thinks. Who could love a mess like Thomas?
Something normal would be nice. Like, hugging under a blanket and laughing at his jokes. Eat unhealthy food and talk about shit. Someone easy on the eyes, someone simple and good. No emotional baggage weighing so heavy there's not even a normal conversation.
He just curls together on a couch again. Oh, couch crashing. It always seems to bring back the worst thoughts and the losses.
He feels just lonely and the hole just a hollow jump into nothingness at the prospect of staying alone. He wonders what Maven was about to say on the phone. And if it has any meaning at All.
When he lies in the darkness he turns his phone on again.
He reads the messages.
Nothing much. Senseless blubbering about how ridiculous he's behaving for going through with his threat of ignoring Maven. Then there's sugar coating, apologies that twist the problems and words in Maven's favor. There's no regret. There's nothing really. He gives a rat shit about Thomas. He just can't stand to lose. There are flattery and thinly veiled threats.
Thomas is stuck with a bitter breath, half laughing, half wanting to cry before he deletes it all.
He doesn't write back. They made their calls. Now they need to wait for the next bluff.
And then the cards get on the table.
Thomas isn't sure he has the better ones, but he's not backing down.
And at least one thing is true. What CAN that boy destroy anymore Thomas hasn't already lost? There's nothing.
The next day he's sincerely hung over and regrets life choices like always. At least people let him hang around in his zombie state. Barrow is off somewhere, but when he moves around the small house and follows rummaging and scattered metal sounds he finds Cal on the porch, sleeves rolled up and hands dirty. There's a girl with him, little older than Thomas. Her amber eyes take in everything. He thinks he's seen her before and remembers her name after a few long seconds of staring. Ada something.
She holds a screwdriver. "If you tweak it, it will last longer, I have seen it before."
"True, but if you don't fix the damage, the engine can't-"
The words bring Thomas back to the morning he tried to fix the pedal and he feels like vomiting again because everything in his life seems to be about blue eyes and hands gripping him tightly.
Their eyes follow Thomas scramble along, almost falling over some metal thing on the porch.
"Sorry." He just says jumping over the bigger parts. The agile gracefulness of a giraffe sliding over ice. The light burns through his eyelids when he narrows them. Grey light hidden behind clouds.
"Going home?"
"Yup. Need a shower. Tell Lightning to call if something comes up." He tries to smile. "I mean, you too, dude. If I can help or stuff."
"Thomas," Cal answers, slow, and Thomas thinks he'll just tell him off. "You're a good kid. You tried."
"Yeah, I guess I did. "Thomas says, not believing it. "Thanks, pal."
"You wear your shirt wrong," Ada says.
Thomas stares at the hoodie, inside out. "Eh. Can sport it. Had worse."
At least there's no other call for him. Maven has vanished again, and Thomas is glad he doesn't try and call again. More and he's sure he couldn't take it.
Thomas still has to check every once in a while for another verbal or text blurb, and staring at the words and the face makes him uneasy and a little sick. Though that could still only be the hangover. He's still telling shit to people, but he's very careful in his wording.
That's what I thought, Thomas thinks. Don't want to get me to spill the beans, pretty boy.
He's not exactly proud to be in some crazy choke hold, threatening with dirty laundry and blackmailing. But if that's what it takes, he will take out all the trash and truths he can find. Oh boy, where to start.
Thomas doesn't think it will truly be the end. But one can hope.
He doesn't leave his bed for two days, curled up on his arm.
"This isn't healthy, Tommy." His sister says when she finds him on his spot at the window, staring at his cracked phone. "Have you eaten today at all?"
"When was I ever?" he huffs." I'm not hungry."
"I'll get Cameron to beat you up."
"Yeah, she'll just throw the phone at the wall and tell me I am an idiot. I know all about it."
" Joining in was the dumbest thing they ever let you do." She's irritated, he can see it in her face. Can't hold it against her. He lost his job and he just sits on his ass the whole day or runs around town. He's almost back to street rat low. "You can't spend your life in front of that screen and wait for this...for you know who to either lose it or come back to you."
"He's not coming back to me. Why would he?" Thomas looks at her but doesn't really see her. "And I don't wanna have him like this anyway."
He's sincerely and deeply disappointed again when the ceasefire doesn't last.
He can't really bring himself to listen to the words, but it's pretty much what he expected. It's dirty. It's poisonous. It's twisting and turning and just like every other word Maven has said in the past weeks.
For a while, Thomas just sits on his bed, unable to move, trying to concentrate hard. The anger is flaring through his body like a firework, burning his soul and singeing what little rationality is still trying to get through.
Telling someone off is probably not among the rational decisions. His finger still fly over the screen of his cracked phone.
I told you to leave them alone. You made a bad choice, silver prince.
He hasn't really anticipated anything. But the reply flies back fast.
We'll see about that.
Thomas is not fond at all of the way this sounds. He was hoping for surrender. But that boy wouldn't surrender if his life depended on it. Pride, oh yes, wrong pride, that will be your end. Let's see how deep you can fall.
I'll tell EVERYONE.
Thomas writes and feels only a little dirty. It's a warning, and maybe it's even well deserved if it turns into more. Maybe it is just a continuation of the tug of war they started long ago, on a bench. Because Thomas knows everything has consequences.
U wanna risk it? Want Barrow and Farley to know how ugly you can cry?
Oh, Thomas.
He can imagine the words said to his face, with the slightest shakes of his head and that tone, like Thomas knows NOTHING of this world. Sweet, sweet stupid Thomas.
Thomas wants to vomit. His hands are shaking. For a moment he leans his head against the wall, hair pressing against his face, cooling off, trying to.
When he's sure his voice isn't going to betray him he makes the decision to go through with it and just get it over. She picks up after the third ringing.
"So, Lightning," Thomas says, falling on the chair like a defeated soldier. "You want the dirt. I am ready. Where do we start? "
"You could just start at the beginning."
"Ah, well. Once upon a time" Thomas starts dry. " there was a homeless asshole and he met a pretty and awkward silver prince who had burned down a house. It was love at first sight. Well, at least for the asshole. The prince, eh. Who knows. At least he was sticking around and trying to be nice. It worked for a while. And it was the best thing ever. Until trouble kicked in."
All goes well for some more days. He feels a little satisfied because of letting it all out, all the hidden words, all the little things. Showing and exploiting another one's weakness is not what Thomas would want to. But oh please, he isn't backing down.
The fact Farley is practically ordering him to her new hideout has something concerning, and the fact she's not looking very happy is not good at all. Unhappy Farley means unhappy bunch of other people.
"Sit." she just says.
Thomas swallows hard and sits on the uncomfortable chair, staring at the small desk and the brimming screen in front of him.
"Mom, you're scaring me a little," he admits. "Am I grounded?"
"You need to see something." She sits down next to him.
"You could have just sent me a link." he huffs.
"I think you'll be glad I called you."
Her finger hits the keys like little gunshots.
The title of the video gives him the creeps. It's something clickbaiting. There's even a broken heart emoji. A LOT of people have watched it.
Thomas stares at a familiar background and two chairs, and there's another pretty girl next to the boy he once loved.
"There were accusations that you were involved in the tower incident."
"Of course there are. People planting bombs and killing in cold blood don't shy away from false testimony. I am quite positive this is coming from Mare Barrow and we both know you can't believe a word she says."
"He crossed the line," Thomas whispers and gets up. "That's it. I'm gonna punch him."
Farley's hand grabs his shirt. "That is not why I told you to watch it."
"But do we really want to repeat all the same arguments? We have spoken about the tower, about the Scarlet Guard and about the family and friends I lost in all these terrible tragedies and despicable acts."
"You lost so much. I didn't mean to pressure you." The girl says, looking sad and tilting her head into the camera for maximum efficiency. "Is there something else you want to talk about?"
"There is, actually." Maven says. "People accusing me of never remotely understanding the needs and the lives of Red people should know I am not acting out of spite for them. We all can keep the lives we built. If this stops now. "
Yes, Thomas thinks. Let's keep the discrimination. The ghettoization. Let's keep the violence and the hopelessness. Keep the kids living on the streets and the families working themselves to death so you have a cozy big house with a big cozy bed and a big cozy pillow you can rest your stone cold head on.
"There is no assurance to whatever the Guard wants. There is no political stance and no administration supporting them. You want freedom. But has anyone ever thought about more than just overthrow things? You are not helping your situation. You are supporting murderers and terrorists."
"Oh shit, please lemme go Diana." Thomas feels sick. He wiggles in her iron grip.
"Sit and watch." She demands, not letting go.
"And why would people believe you care to preserve their old lives?"
"I was friends with a red boy once."
Thomas' mouth gapes open.
"Granted, our history is that of the tragic kind. But he was my best friend. "
There are a meaningful pause and a deep breath and again it's so perfectly dramatically intense Thomas is sure he's practiced his little speeches in front of a mirror.
"We met under more dire circumstances. He was homeless and I felt inclined to help him. There were a lot of obstacles. His name is Thomas. I hope he's watching this, wherever he might be."
"You son of a..." Thomas whispers.
The girl holds her hand in front of her mouth. 'I have so many questions right now. Would you be willing to talk about what happened?"
"Our time is too short to explain what happened to us. But I cared for him. As it turned out, not in the way he wanted me to care. Poor Thomas fell in love with me. And he was not able to accept a refusal. He would not leave it alone. It was terrible for both of us. It destroyed any kind of bond I wanted to preserve. He never recovered from it, even when we broke things off. Take a break, I asked him. Sort your life and this feeling out. I fear he never did. He was a criminal and a homeless back then and now he has turned into something worse. His delusional state of mind is harmful."
"That's not how it went." Thomas can't believe it. He looks over to Farley. " You know that is NOT how it went. Yeah, he wouldn't say it, but he WAS KISSING me back. He didn't- I never did anything he didn't want me- I was the one asking to take a break. I was the one going. That's what I said. That's-" Thomas can't breathe. Like the air is sucked out of the room.
"I know, Thomas." She assures him.
"Thomas, if you are watching, " Maven says. "And I sincerely hope you do. Please get help."
Thomas wants to laugh and cry at the same time. "Please turn this off. Please don't make me watch it all."
She's turning the volume down but doesn't turn it off. For a moment Thomas just stares at the way Maven's mouth moves, telling a sob story that's close enough to the truth but still not completely right.
"We know how it went," Farley says and Thomas forces himself to look at her face. "But they don't care. Look at him. Look what he's doing. He's taking away any credibility from you. No one will ever believe you are not just a scorned unpredictable boy who couldn't accept no for an answer. "
"This isn't happening," Thomas whispers, nails digging into the palms of his hands. "I warned him. I freaking told him-"
"You talked to him since the incident?"
"He called ME." Thomas tries to defend himself. "And before you tell me I am an idiot, YES I KNOW."
A muscle in her neck is twitching as she grinds her teeth. "You warned him?"
"I said I would pull it all out, all the trash between us, not only the old stuff but the new one too. " Thomas pushes his hair back, out of his face. "And when I told Lightning I wrote him a text. Because I hoped.I dunno Farley, I hoped he'd back down."
"Thomas how daft are you?" she stares at him with a mixture of anger and bitterness. "You couldn't have made your intentions clearer if you had stood in front of him with a sign. You are jeopardizing our work if you cannot stop running to him. You thought a warning shot would do? He caught the bullet and shoved it down your throat."
He wants to curl together and cry. Or smash something. All he does is bite his lips.
"That's not even the worst." She says. "He's done a good job pulling it up. And you're not finished with humiliation."
"Show me." He says.
"Are you sure?"
"No. But just.." Thomas sighs.
One click away stares at his own face, blue bruise and split lip. Wild and crippled hair cut, dirty clothes. Street rat Thomas has that fuck it look on the mugshot.
"What the..?" He mutters.
"You're officially as bad as all of us now." Farley says , scrolling over the text accompanying the image. "Apparently you were a drug addict, Thomas. It fits the unrequited love and the overbearing care of his Highness."
"Drug what?" His eyes wander over the shot of his slightly younger and bruised face, he can't believe the words he reads. "It was a brick and some other things I smashed!"
Unstable- he reads.
Homeless- at least that's true.
"Seriously, how is this legal? This is all LIES!"
"You think they can't buy everything with their money?" Farley closes the laptop. "Tweaking your reports to go along, so no one believes anything? This is you now, Thomas. The boy who couldn't take a no. You give him sympathy and pity."
"This can't be true." He mutters. "How many people have seen this? This is.. that's..."
"It's very real." Farley grits her teeth.
The river sings of loneliness when he decides to stop. Thomas kicks the dirt and leans down.
With an angry slosh the stone sinks into the water.
Thomas picks the next one and throws it with even more force. "Hey Lightning." He just says, not turning around to meet her eyes.
She just picks a big grey stone next to Thomas , peeling it out of the mud and throws it with so much force he didn't know her spunky small body possess. "Imagine that's his face."
"I can't believe it. I was only defending you and they threw me under the bus." He let's out an angry puff. "How is he okay with saying this shit about me? Drugs? Seriously? That's so low. I am so DONE."
"Full of bullshit, that's why." She says and smashes the stone right into the water. "Words are his thing. It's how he always turns around and creeps under your skin."
"Maven Calore is an asshole!" Thomas yells and throws again. His words echo of the water and get lost in the rushing sound.
" A backstabbing LIAR." Barrow adds.
"Fuck yes, Lightning, he is. I am DONE!"
Their hands are stained with mud when there seems to be no stone left to throw.
"Want to tag along tonight?" she asks.
"Please. I'll be good and don't weigh you down, promise."
He's early at their meeting point. Darkness clouds the roof top. He pulls his hood deep into his face. A faintly familiar tawny head appears in his side when he's done climbing.
"Hey Fish boy," He decides to greet, trying to be at least a little bit confident.
"Hey Inky." Warren says, not even blinking.
Thomas huffs. That name will probably stick for the rest of his life.
" Make room Warren."
The space is barely big enough for two people, but since there isn't much to Thomas and he's used to squeezing through he gets on the railing and stares down.
"Heard about that addict thing." Warren says and Thomas takes a deep breath.
"Yeah who hasn't? "
"Will you get through?"
Thomas glares over suspicious because no one ever really asks anymore and if they do they know he will laugh it off. And he and Fish boy aren't particularly close.
"Eh, have to take a shot." He says in the worst attempt to make a pun.
For the slightest of seconds Thomas can't say if he actually smiles or frowns in the half light. Something in him curls together and waits for an answer that will shut him off. He certainly didn't think there will be a comeback. "Better don't blow it."
"Don't crack me up, Warren." Thomas musters, lips tugging up.
"Why?" Kilorn Warren turns his head to look at Thomas and he catches a flash of green eyes. " I think we're on a roll."
For the first time in forever Thomas really means it when he laughs.
[AN] My beta started low key crack shipping Thomas &Kilorn after this and the next draft. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)