Thank you all so much for your awesome comments, they are all so lovely! This chapter is where things start to get interesting...if you catch my drift!
No surprises for guessing that I hadn't slept a wink. I hadn't been able to listen to Jake as he babbled on about what his notes meant. I hadn't even paid any attention to anything said in the lecture, the only thing I could think of was the text I had received last night. In the past five hours I had read it through about a thousand times, each time thinking of a different way to react. If there was one thing I absolutely couldn't do, it was read too much into it. From what she had told me she had been through a few rough days and couldn't hold in her tears any longer. Maybe she had just got caught up in the moment. Whichever conclusion I came to there was always one situation that I found myself returning to...me running into Emily's arms and never letting her go again.
However hard I tried to drown out the voice in my head that kept telling me I would only hurt her if we got back together, it remained permanently in my mind. I had been trying to do the mature thing, I had let her move on and moved on myself...in body if not in mind. I was trying with all my strength to let her be happy despite how I was feeling. I wasn't sure where her emotions were coming from, I wasn't sure my heart cared much. But my stupid brain that I couldn't shut up kept prodding at me to find out. Whether it was a love that she hadn't let go of or whether it was just simple jealousy rearing its ugly head.
I had been sat in my room, in complete silence for all of the afternoon and most of the early evening. Three missed calls and four texts, all from Faith, asking me what I was wearing tonight, what time we should meet up, whether I wanted to see her before 'Cherry and why I wasn't replying. I couldn't. I really cared for Faith and without knowing what I was going to do about Emily's sudden confession I didn't think I could talk to her. I'd feel too guilty about the afternoon I had spent completely wrapped up in all things Emily Fitch and that the moment her lips touched my skin I knew that Emily was not only the first person I had ever loved but she would also be the last. It was then that my brain came to a vaguely helpful conclusion. I had to talk to Emily.
"Come on Blondie!! We're going to be late for our girls!" Mel's voice made me jump out of the trance I was in. Glancing at my clock I realised that it was nearly half past eight. I had a million things left to do before we left; the first and most important was to text Faith and let her know I would meet her there in about half an hour and a slight attempt at an apology. The second was actually change my clothes, it didn't take me long to settle on some black fitted jeans coupled with a grey t-shirt and black waist coat. Mel was screaming occasionally with impatience. So I fluffed my hair slightly with some dry wax before charging out of my door and falling into Mel who looked as though she was just about to knock. Laughing a little as I helped her to her feet I grabbed the bottle of vodka from where it had landed and took a long swig before curling my face up in disgust as the liquid burnt down my throat.
Half a bottle, a spliff and some weird powder later Mel and I were stood outside 'Cherry' waiting patiently for our dates to arrive. At least we were waiting patiently for Mel's date to arrive; I didn't know what I was going to say to Faith. If I was going to say anything at all. I wasn't even a hundred percent sure she was going to turn up after I had spent all day ignoring her. I looked across at Mel whose face lit up slightly and I followed her eye line and saw Emily walking in our direction with that ridiculously sexy smirk on her face. My eyes couldn't help but look over the entire length of her body which I am sure she noticed. Start at the bottom and work up. She wore ankle high yellow converse leading into black tights. Reaching her lower thigh I noticed a royal blue pencil skirt making its way up towards the blue and yellow checked shirt that I had seen her wear a few times. But never like this, never open enough to show the top of a blue lace bra and the perfect curve of cleavage. Looking up further my eyes settled on her flawlessly made up face. Deep black eyeliner encased her perfect eyes and her hair had the slight quiff to it that I had seen when we finally got to talk a few weeks back. She looked so grown up and completely gorgeous. My mind imagined her in a slow motion walk. I hated my mind.
Emily stopped a few steps in front of us and I glanced across at Mel whose expression must have been very similar to the look I'm sure I had on my face. She stepped forward and greeted Emily with a swift kiss before taking her hand and leading her inside the club. I watched Emily leave, ok so I was watching how the skirt made her ass look nice more than I was watching her leave but I did manage to catch Emily's quick glance back in my direction before they vanished inside. I was left out in the dark waiting for Faith. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and the lack of texts made me wonder if she was actually coming tonight. Surely she would have let me know if she wasn't going to be able to make it. My thumb was already searching for her number when I heard the familiar voice.
"You waiting for someone?" Faith's voice echoed behind me and as I turned around I was pulled into a fast and hungry kiss. The smell of alcohol was heavy on her breath so I figured she had probably already been inside. She took my hand and lead me through the entrance and into the bar area where Emily and Mel were waiting at a booth. Something told me that Faith was ok with Emily being here. It was a good thing she couldn't read my thoughts, it was all about Emily.
The next hour or so passed with quite a lot of conversation that I didn't really care about. I was far too busy counting the glances that Emily threw in my direction. Eight so far. Every time our eyes met I smiled slightly and had to hide the want in my entire body. I was aching for her, it was getting harder to persuade myself I was doing the right thing. I still needed to ask her about that text, but I was a little too drunk and we weren't exactly alone so I decided it would probably wait. Even though I was merrily drinking away I couldn't escape my own thoughts so I excused myself from the table muttering something disjointed about needing a cigarette.
The cold air hit me in the face, my drunken blanket working wonders as it kept out the obvious chill. I found my packet of cigarettes and struggled to get my lighter to work, it didn't, but thankfully a friendly flame appeared from my right which allowed me to light my fag. Taking a deep drag I turned slightly to say thank you and was met with the stupidly grown up and completely breathtaking Emily Fitch. Shit, we were alone. She said nothing, just stood smiling at me, a crooked smile that meant she knew exactly what I was thinking. She flicked her freshly started fag to the ground and turned to walk down the alley that ran parallel to the club. I followed without uttering a word.
The very second we were out of the light I pushed Emily against the wall, my hands placed either side of her shoulders and pushed my lips against hers. I felt her hands creep around my back and lock together, pulling me closer. She kissed me back hungrily and our lips parted allowing tongues to reconnect. Her hips were pushing up against mine as I broke the kiss and my lips followed her jaw line before clasping around her soft neck. Biting ever so slightly I smiled as she let out a soft gasp against my ear. My hands were no longer pressed against the wall, one held her left leg up against my waist and the other was feeling its way up her opposite thigh.
"Fuck..."She just about managed to let the word escape her mouth before I encased it in my own. Her hands that were now underneath my shirt brushed over my shoulders and her nails dug in slightly as I did something she appreciated. I unbuttoned her shirt a little and knelt down letting my kisses run all over the newly exposed skin near her stomach. Completing the undoing of buttons I moved slowly upwards nibbling slightly on the soft skin just above her breast. My hand returned to her legs running quickly upwards to the band at the top of her skirt. Our lips once again met hungrily as I slipped my hand down the front of her skirt and found her warm and completely wanting core. Hips thudding carefully against my own I allowed my hand to maintain a steady rhythm as her breathing increased. She was close. My skin was ablaze from her touch. The muscles in my arm started to burn but I continued and sped up my fingers slightly. Letting out a few moans here and there she started to shudder as she fell over the edge, I held her there for as long as possible before allowing her to fall back towards me. Her body felt amazing against mine. I pulled back momentarily giving her the space to readjust the clothing that I had attacked. She did her shirt up an extra button in light of a bruise that was starting to appear on her left breast. Woops. I must have smiled slightly as I noticed and she put her hands on my hips and pulled me in towards her, kissing me softly and passionately.
The average cigarette, if enjoyed properly, takes about five minutes so technically our time ended ten minutes ago. Emily's breathing had returned to normal and I was still just staring at her in the disbelief not only at how amazing that had felt but that I had allowed myself to do it.
"Wow, that was...different." Emily grinned at me, I don't think she quite believed what had happened herself. But she just kept gazing at me until the tears started to form behind those beautiful eyes.
"It was just the drugs right? A moment of weakness." It wasn't I didn't believe it for a second. It was one of the strongest things I had felt since the last time Emily and I had completely been together. Emily smiled slightly as the memory of Panda's part washed all over her. She was stunning in every single way, but her eyes still shone with immanent tears.
"The text I sent you, now this...where are we going?" Emily's far too blatant question knocked me back slightly. I had two answers to pick from, the right answer for me and the completely wrong in so many ways answer. But it was the wrong one I had to pick, I couldn't bear more heartache.
"We...can't do this. It's not fair on three people, Mel, Faith and you Emily." Damn you Naomi, stop being so damn mature and tell her that she is your only reason. You're everything and that without her nothing fucking makes sense. "We've got new people in our lives now, people who care about us and I'm sure you'll agree that you wouldn't wish the feeling of heartache on anyone." I tried to smile down at her. I held her for the briefest of moments, held onto the feeling we had just shared, covered myself in the very essence of her. Wiping the tears from her eyes I held her gaze before kissing her gently, her lips smiled against my own.
"If something's meant to be...it will be, right?" She asked as her hands released the grip they had on my side.
"Yea, but we owe it to the two people waiting for us inside to at least try." I didn't even believe myself, I was just too scared of losing her again. I was petrified that I was going to mess it all up, after all I cheated on her to begin with and here I was cheating with her. Not the best track record. She didn't say anything just wiped the few remaining tears away and took my hand to start leading us back inside. Not another word was uttered. I made up some lie about queues for the toilets and an annoying bouncer to try and cover up the moment of ecstasy that Emily and I had shared. Faith held my hand tightly under the table and kept winking at me as the little conversation we had left died completely. It was getting late and I just wanted to crawl under my duvet and beat myself in the head with something heavy.
Mel tried to persuade Emily to come back to the room while I tried to persuade Faith that she couldn't. I guess we were both a little warn out and just wanted to sleep, waking up in a world where I wasn't such an idiot and could be with her knowing that I wouldn't screw it up. Thankfully the persuasion paid off and I accompanied Mel back to the room, trying to ignore her rambling on about how frigid Emily had become recently. I was relieved when I shut my bedroom door and she was left moaning to herself.
Left alone with my thoughts once again. All of which focused on Emily, I didn't think I had the strength to forget about tonight. But more importantly I couldn't lie to Faith, she has been nothing but amazing having only one fatal flaw that really was nothing to do with her. But all of the maturity I had shown that evening would be for nothing if I told Faith and she let it slip to Mel. Fuck my life was a complete mess and the only person who could make it all just go away was probably sat in her own room thinking exactly the same as me.
I had no idea what I was going to do.
Thank you all for reading and please continue to review...also dont get too dis-heartened after all if it's meant to be. It will be!! ;)