Disclaimer: I do not have the privilege of owning Ranma ½, Sailor Moon, Sakura Wars, Devil Hunter Yohko, Rurouni Kenshin, or any of the other highly recognizable characters you might find in these pages. I'm just playing around with them for my own demented amusement.
As always, I'd like to thank the folks at fukufics dot com for giving this the once over. I assume by your silence that there were no obvious problems this time.
I also don't say this enough, but to everyone who takes the time to leave a review: Thank you. I love reading them, especially the critical ones. You really can't improve if everyone says you're absolutely brilliant all the time. And now, here's the real update...
Rurouni Ranma
by DarkFyre99
Chapter Nine: The Juppongatana Strike!
The large black luxury sedan made its way through the Sunday morning traffic, its driver's expert hand keeping the machine on course. It stopped at the mouth of an alley to unload its passengers. The first to emerge was a large man in a black suit, who glanced up and down the street in search of danger. Next came a shapely leg, followed by an equally shapely body.
Komagata Yumi emerged from the depths of the vehicle, dressed smartly in business casual. As Shishio Makoto's right-hand woman glanced up and down the deserted street, a second large man followed her from the car. Apparently content that she wasn't being watched, the former courtesan strode into the gap between two buildings.
One of her succubae stepped forward to meet her. "My Lady, I really don't think..."
"I've seen death before, Hikaru-chan, much of it gruesome. You found Kiyoko-chan?"
"Yes, my lady. We also found two human girls who go to the school she was assigned to. It isn't pretty."
Yumi's steps came to an abrupt halt, as she took in the carnage in the alley. "How did they die?"
Hikaru grimaced. "The two humans' necks were snapped. Based on the damage, I'd guess Kiyoko did it herself." Seeing the expression on her mistress' face, she added, "Mercy killing. That's probably what kept the two of them from being violated.
"As for Kiyoko... her body remains, so she obviously wasn't killed by a demon hunter. Based on the bruises and... other… things, she was the victim of a tentacled sex demon, and not the good kind. Something ripped her open from the inside. She hasn't been missing long enough for any demonic spawn to mature, so..."
"I get the picture."
"My Lady, it's very rare for this kind of demon to prey on other demons. They tend to prefer easy prey. It's even rarer for this kind of demon to restrain its urges as it seems to be, given the lack of reports about a serial killer and rapist. There are only a few kinds of demon this could be, and any one of them would put the government on high alert. If the humans find out about it, every demon hunter in the country will descend on Kyoto to kill it."
"I'll tell my Lord that we need some teams to hunt down this thing, fast, and that we'd better call off the hit on the Hanagumi at the fair. We don't want to attract unnecessary attention right now. If you will excuse me?"
The succubus called Hikaru watched as her mistress opened up a cellphone and began talking. Soon, Yumi's voice began to rise. "But... I know that, but we really should call off the... My Lord, I really think..." Yumi's end of the conversation attracted the attention of the other two succubae in the alley as well. "Will you please listen... I think this is serious... But... Very well. Goodbye."
The former oiran glared at the phone in her hand, before she smashed it against the wall, her face morphing into something inhuman. A moment later, she regained part of her equilibrium and most of her normal appearance. "That... that..."
"Idiot?" One of the succubae asked.
"Man?" Queried another.
"Testosterone poisoned misanthrope?" Hikaru suggested impishly.
With a smile, Yumi's face fully returned to normal. "Thank you, dears. We've got plans to make, sweethearts. This is going to blow up in our faces, I just know it, so we'll have to step up our information gathering. We need to find out where this demon is, and get the information to the appropriate people... assuming I can't persuade our Lord to do something about it himself."
The three demon girls smiled at each other, before Hikaru asked another question. "My Lady, what about these three?" The girl pointed at the three bodies.
"Cremation for all three."
"So you're not going to..."
"No. Kiyoko clearly felt something for those two, and I prefer to honor that." Yumi offered the girls a truly shark like smile. "Besides... Lord Shishio and I prefer our food fresh."
- + - + -
Maria Tachibana, ace sharpshooter of the Flower Division of the Imperial Combat Troop, answered the door of the Imperial Theatre of Kyoto. It was an infrequent rest day, and as a result the theatre that housed the (not quite so) secret headquarters of the Teigeki was almost deserted. Since she felt that true warriors did not take time off, she remained at the theatre along with a few other homebodies. Since she was at home right now, she figured she might as well do door duty.
Fujii Kasumi smiled at the tall blonde Russian, her hands full with packages. The junior member of the Kazegumi, Takamura Tsubaki, was still looked a bit down from this morning, despite the large number of packages she was carrying. Sakakibara Yumi was probably bringing the car around to the back.
Maria smiled. "Did you have fun, ladies?"
"Hai!"
Tsubaki's reply was a bit more subdued. "Yeah."
Maria shook her head as the teen disappeared into the living quarters of the theatre. Moments later, there was a crash. Apparently the girl had forgotten the newest additions to the theatre.
- + - + -
Sakura tried to ignore Ranma's eyes on her as she unsteadily performed a basic kenjutsu kata while balancing precariously on a long, narrow beam. One attack form left her windmilling her arms in an attempt to remain on the beam. Her efforts were in vain.
As she picked herself up off the mat, she saw Ranma standing over her. He just looked at her for ten seconds before saying, "Alright, back on the beam and let's try this again."
"Yes, Sensei."
As Sakura jumped back on the beam, she heard Sumire drawl, "You really are a klutz, aren't you Shinguji?"
"That's enough of that, you cactus woman!" Kanna said, who had also been paying more attention to Sakura's training than her own practice.
Ranma glared at the both of them, before barking out, "Silence!" He turned back to Sakura, who was once again unsteadily going through her forms. "You know, I think I figured out your problem."
Sakura leaned back to recover her balance again. "What?"
"You're trying to balance with your body, rather than your ki."
With a yelp, Sakura found herself falling again. "How would that help?"
"You don't jump with just your legs, do you?"
"Of course not."
Ranma jumped up on the beam. "It's the same idea," he said, as he did a handstand on the beam. "You brace yourself with your ki, rather than trying to twist your body in order to keep balanced." He shifted from two hands to one. "Just like you push off the ground with your ki as you jump, you push off against several objects, like a wall or the ground." He was now balancing on a single finger, his body perfectly still. "I'll have the Commander Yoneda rig balance beams throughout the theatre, so I don't want to see you walking on the floor except when necessary. Is that clear?"
"Yes, Sensei!" Sakura jumped back on the beam. A second later, she found her flying horizontally off the beam.
"Oh, and Sakura? Remember, steady, gentle, and more than one direction. You're not trying to maneuver in mid-air, after all."
"Hai!"
- + - + -
Maria shook her head as she headed back to the theatre's shooting range. Ranma's training techniques were certainly unique, but she had to admit that they worked wonders. She just hoped Ranma, Sakura, and Iris were having a good time at the fair.
- + - + -
Maul grinned in anticipation as he stalked his prey. The four girls had separated, the younger blonde leading the newer girl away from Usui. Scythe-chan was closing in on Shinguji, which left the petite redhead to him. He swirled his weapon about himself, while extending his aura, expecting the girl to quail in fear as so many had done before.
Instead, the girl grinned at him, a sheathed sword suddenly in her left hand. The demon charged, sending the full might of his demonic aura against the girl. Instead of mutilating the girl, his attack was evaded by a casual backwards leap, the girl's sword still sheathed at her side.
"Woah, I didn't know demons had Star Wars otaku," the girl drawled, smiling cockily. "Darth Maul's weapon was cooler, though."
Maul growled. He had been taking quite a bit of ribbing about the vague resemblance between him and a bit of celluloid fantasy. Like it was his fault, or something. One of these days, he'd like to track down George Lucas and take a piece of his mind... namely everything from the neck up. He swung again.
"You know, I'm pretty sure Darth Maul was taller," the girl quipped as she narrowly avoided his attack. He swung again. "And in better shape too," she added as she bent over backwards, his weapon passing just above her ample chest. "Not to mention a lot more skilled." The girl smiled as she casually stepped out of the way of his next attack.
An instant later, the girl had stepped inside his reach, thrusting her face into his. "You know, I get the feeling you're not even trying."
Then the girl got really insulting…
- + - + -
Honjo Kamatari stalked the pretty kendoist, expertly swirling his enormous chain-scythe about his body. He noted with satisfaction that unlike many who had faced his most unusual weapon, she didn't show much fear. That always made the fight more interesting.
In the first two tentative exchanges, the girl warily withdrew each time he advanced. Not the sort of fearful retreat he'd expect, but more like she was leading him away from her companions. Which was fine with him, because that would give him some time to play with her before he killed her.
Suddenly, the P.A. system came online. "Attention, please. This is a code-black..."
Kamatari blinked, 'What the hell is that about?'
His musings were cut short when the girl suddenly lunged, the tip of her ki-enhanced katana slipped into one of the links of the chain. Much to his surprise, the blade didn't break. Instead, the weighted end abruptly shifted its course, slamming into the side of his head. With ringing snap, the demon-forged link broke apart, causing the weighted half of his chain to spin away somewhere behind him.
Fortunately for him, he recovered quickly enough to parry her follow up attack. As the two of them broke away to recover, he asked, "Why do you little girls always have to break my toys?"
The girl just smiled grimly.
The next instant, the two combatants were distracted by a massive roar...
- + - + -
Uonuma Usui watched the two blonde girls back away from him, little Iris in front of the taller Japanese girl. The frustration on the older girl's face was almost comical, since she clearly thought their roles should be reversed. Not that it mattered much. He could thrust his spear quite easily through both. He couldn't wait to tell Scythe-chan that he'd killed them both in one blow. His mismatched eyes took a moment to savor the older girl's form. If he was careful, he wouldn't kill the teen outright, and he'd have some fun as she lay dying...
Just as he leapt forward, his spear leading, young Miss Chateaubriand waved and said, "Bye-bye scumbag!" A moment later, both girls vanished in a flash of yellow light. Pure instinct caused him to whirl around and bring his heavy shield up. Moments later, a heavy body landed on his shield, the tip of a sword skidding off its surface and almost cutting his scalp.
Before he had a chance to retaliate, whoever had landed on his shield had jumped off. He turned to face the fool that had attacked him, and he saw Maul's target in a loose stance in front of him. The girl smirked and said, "You know, you look you might be a bit of a challenge."
He'd just known that Maul's reputation was all hot air...
- + - + -
The newly renamed Jino Ranma, formerly of the Saotome clan, leapt from the shield of the man who had been menacing her cousin and Iris. The problem with demons, Ranma knew, was that they not only had no ki, but they could disrupt it. The demon was furious, but he didn't emit any hot ki for the Hiryuu Shouten Ha. The guy with the eye fetish, on the other hand, could provide exactly what she needed. She just hoped that the demon was stupid enough, or mad enough, not to figure out what she was doing.
"You know, you look you might be a bit of a challenge," Ranma said with a smirk. She adopted a stance, daring the freak to attack. Over the guy's shoulder, she saw the Darth Maul wannabe charge forward, his weapon held high above his head. She really hoped the guy would take the bait before the demon got here. She wasn't sure why the demon was so wimpy, but he could still be a problem if he got too close.
It only took two exchanges for Ranma to determine that the man's style was heavily defensive, much like her own. It was not unexpected, given the combination of spear and shield, but Ranma needed the guy to go on the offensive. The red haired girl frowned as she barely deflected the man's thrust. The eye freak was really good. It took all her skill just to ensure that the man and the demon wouldn't be able to double-team her.
One particular block left her face to face with the man with the odd eyes. "Say... did you know your eyes don't match?" The man's eyes narrowed in anger, as the two struggled, each attempting to maneuver the other into Maul's line of attack. With a flourish, Ranma broke away from the fight, giving herself some breathing room.
Ranma crinkled her nose. "Not to mention the mega-sized case of bad breath." The man's lips pulled back in a fierce looking snarl. "You kiss your girlfriend with that mouth?" A second later, it took every ounce of Ranma's control not to react as the face of the man before her changed. His mismatched eyes began to glow a faint red. His mouth grew, becoming impossibly wide. Finally, a long tongue danced between long, shark-like teeth. "Boy, you're getting uglier by the minute."
In the seconds before Usui renewed his attack, Ranma recognized her foe. He was one of the undead... which helped explain why his ki felt so off. Mano Madoka had gone over the various types of undead she might encounter, and she recognized the eye freak as some kind of ghoul: an eater of the dead... or the dying. Unfortunately, that was all the time she had to think. Usui had finally started to go on the offensive. Ranma had her aggressive opponent, but he still wasn't angry enough.
"Michael Jackson's people called... they stopped taking applications for the Thriller video years ago."
Ranma evaded several more attacks by the spearman, frequently taunting both her foes as she maneuvered the demon constantly his partner's way. Unfortunately for Ranma, neither of her opponents was distracted by the P.A. system. "Attention, please..."
But what followed next more than made up for it. Ranma's dodge brought the guy with the eye fetish right into the path of one of the Star Wars otaku's attacks, much to Ranma's amusement. She did notice that his shield managed to absorb the blow. Whatever the shield was, it clearly wasn't made from a large tortoise shell.
"You bitch!" It was the first words her opponent had uttered, and they were followed by a fierce battle aura. Ranma began her dodging spiral, drawing her two opponents towards the center. Fortunately for her, the Darth Maul wannabe wasn't much of a threat. It was all she could do to avoid being skewered.
Finally, Ranma and her two opponents reached the center of the spiral, and with a smirk, she unleashed the full force of the Hiryuu Shoten Ha. The resulting vortex of air sucked up both Usui and Maul, who flew up into the air with a cry of "Amazon Bitch!"
Safely in the eye of the vortex, Ranma smiled as she invoked her transformation. Gripping her blade in both hands, Ranma drove the point into the ground with a cry of "Earthen Wave!" The ground around her rippled outward in all directions, before being drawn into the ki fed tornado. "Hiryuu Shouten Ha revised – Doryuusen"
Ranma smiled. That should take care of the demon, at least.
- + - + -
Aino Minako's day was going downhill really fast. It had started out fantastic. She had found her occasionally female cousin, and he had accepted the offer to join her Aunt's family. She had also met two of the Hanagumi, who had both been out with Ranma on a date. Her cousin was so manly!
And then, as had happened far too often in her life, the forces of darkness had decided to ruin her day. She didn't know who they were, but they were clearly out for blood. The presence of a demon didn't reassure her either. Even more galling was the fact that her cousin had ordered her away... her, Sailor Venus! And she couldn't object without blowing her cover! Young Iris was leading her away from the scary man with the even scarier spear and large shield. The fact that the little girl was clearly protecting her didn't do much for her mood. It should be the other way around. She was a pretty soldier of love and justice, after all.
The girl waited until the last possible second to reveal her powers. Even as the man with the odd eyes charged at them, Minako could feel her body fading as Iris teleported them away. Her last sight of the battlefield was one frustrated bad guy, Sakura fighting the other one, and Ranma desperately dodging the demon's blows.
The two of them reappeared back in the park, not too far from where the battle was taking place. Even as she turned a puzzled gaze towards the French girl, Iris Chateaubriand almost perfectly imitated her old Sailor V intro: " 'Champion of Love and Justice, code name Sailor V!' " Then the smaller blonde winked, gave her a 'V' sign, and waited expectantly, practically bouncing in excitement.
Sweat dropping, Minako figured that her cover was blown already, and so summoned her henshin stick. "Venus Crystal Power... Make Up!" An instant later, Sailor Venus was standing before the delighted little girl, posing.
"Oneesan! You help Sakura-neechan and Ranma-niisan! I'll go get help!" With a second flash of 'V,' the younger girl faded from sight.
Sailor Venus leapt to the roof of a nearby building, pausing to get her bearings. Just then, the P.A. system blared out, just over her head, "Attention, please. This is a code-black. Please exit the park in a calm and orderly manner through the nearest exit. This is a code-black." She took a few moments to recover her hearing as she watched the Sunday crowds move not quite calmly and orderly towards the exits, but not yet in a panic. Spotting a landmark, she ran across the roof and began hopping from building to building. She landed on the building overlooking the battleground, just as a small tornado burst into existence.
A few seconds later, the tornado turned black, tossing dirt and rocks high into the sky. She turned to towards the kendoist and the scythe-girl, just as Shinguji Sakura took advantage of the distraction to try to run the older woman through. A few moments later, the tornado died, revealing her changed cousin at the center. The boy-turned-girl wore form fitting armor and a billowing cloak. High above, amid the debris, she saw the battered demon falling. The tortoise shell shield was also plummeting to the earth, but there was no sign of the shield bearer.
Her cousin looked up and saw her standing there, just as Sailor Venus saw something that made her blood run cold. The extremely scary man was emerging from the shield like a tortoise the shield resembled, his spear still in hand. His path was taking him directly towards her oblivious cousin's back.
- + -
"Ranma! Look out!"
Sheer instinct caused Ranma to dive forward at the new girl's shout. It wasn't enough, as something slammed into her shoulder. The blow sent her sliding across the concrete path, sparks flying from her armor as part of her cloak was torn away.
With a wince, Ranma stood. Her left arm was nearly useless, due to the large dent on the back plate of her armor. She didn't feel any blood, so it appeared that her armor had kept her from being skewered. As it was, the blow had likely broken her shoulder blade, and her back muscles were also badly bruised. Not to mention how the damaged armor dug into her.
Even as she picked herself off the ground, her foe was looking at his spear, whose tip was bent. "Amazing. You actually survived. Not only that, you actually blunted this thing." A few moments later, the spear's tip bent back into its normal configuration. "This is going to be a lot of fun."
Ranma sighed in relief when the dent in her armor repaired itself. She sent healing ki into her back, hoping to recover at least some use of her left arm. She wished she had enough control over her elemental powers to allow her transformation's healing magic to multiply her natural healing ability, rather than just adding to it.
Behind the eye freak, Sakura withdrew her sword from the chest of her foe, adopting a ready stance as Ranma had taught her... just as Mano Madoka had in turn taught Ranma herself. A blow that was fatal in a human wasn't necessarily fatal in some of the monsters they fought. Given the fact that the scythe girl hadn't collapsed on the spot, it was pretty clear that like her companions, the girl wasn't human either.
- + - + -
Maul landed heavily from the Amazon's attack. It had been centuries since he had last hunted those female bitches in the mountains of western China. Unfortunately, it seemed that they hadn't died off, taking their damned techniques with them.
Picking himself off the ground, he summoned his weapon. On quiet feet, he approached the redheaded harlot from behind, the girl's attention completely on Usui. He raised his weapon overhead, and, with a forceful swing, delivered a mighty blow toward the top of the girl's head...
- + - + -
Shinguji Sakura warily remained on guard, as the scythe-wielding girl brought a hand up to her clearly not bleeding chest. The girl's head snapped around, glaring angrily at the kendoka before her. "Do you realize how long it took me to find a pair this nice? You will pay for that, Shinguji!"
Sakura managed to deflect the enraged girl's attack. "Why aren't you dead?"
"Foolish girl! It will take more than that to destroy the likes of me! Only the complete destruction of my heart can destroy me!"
- + - + -
Usui winced as he heard Scythe-chan's declaration to the young kendoist. Wonderful. They barely had a slight advantage in information, and the silly man was blabbing the secrets of their destruction.
With a splat, Maul landed behind the spearman. It didn't help his frame of mind any when the demon just lay there, giggling, before muttering the word, "Squish."
'Just what did I do to deserve allies such as these?' Why hadn't he just stayed in Hell, and taken his punishment? Maybe there was still time. Maybe if he was sincerely penitent, he could climb back into his nice lake of fire. He even began planning his letter of apology. 'Dear sir or madam. My name's Usui. I'm sorry. Please forgive me for escaping Hell. I should've never taken Shishio's offer to return to Earth as one of the undead. If you take me back, I promise I'll stay in that lake of fire...'
The girl patted Usui's shoulder. "There, there. It'll all be better soon."
Usui recovered his wits seconds before the girl's blade would've slid into his unprotected flank. He barely evaded the blow. "You bitch!" He suddenly realized that the despair he'd been feeling hadn't entirely been his own.
The girl had the audacity to smirk. "Damn... I guess that technique needs some work."
"You will pay for that, little girl!"
Behind him, two Wakiji emerged from the ground already torn apart by that ki-fed tornado.
"This time, child, you won't survive. I'll make sure of it."
- + - + -
In the primary mecha hanger of the Imperial Theatre, a young girl appeared in a flash of light. Taking a deep breath, Iris Chateaubriand screamed, at the top of her voice and mind, "Somebody help!!"
The man known as "Master," Li Kohran's primary assistant, and Koubu master technician, appeared from the office. "What is it, Iris-chan?"
"We were attacked at the fair! Some monsters and a demon! Ranma-oniichan sent me to get help!"
"Right. I'll get yours and Tachibana-san's Koubu prepped, then start on the others." In the hanger, the alert siren started up.
The sound of running feet preceded Maria's entrance to the hanger. "What is it, Iris?"
"Demons at the fair, Maria-oneechan!"
"Right. Master, Ranma's mecha doesn't need to be prepped, does it?"
"No. The A.I. takes care of that sort of thing. Just give me a second to boot it up."
"Good. Iris, take it to Ranma. Then come back and get me. I'll be in my room getting some appropriate ammo."
"Hai." At the thumbs up from Master, Iris ran over and hugged the plush mecha. A moment later, both vanished in a flash of light.
"Tachibana-san, you're not taking your Koubu?"
"No. It won't be of much use if we're fighting demons. I've got some blessed bullets in my room. They should be effective."
As the tall, blonde woman ran back up the stairs, Master looked thoughtfully at Maria's dark violet Koubu. "Blessed ammo to fight demons? Hmm..."
- + - + -
Iris appeared behind one of the buildings that surrounded the courtyard where she'd last left the others, Ranma's cute mecha in tow. Running around the building, she stopped briefly to stare at the devastated courtyard, before hiding behind trash can.
At the far end of the square, Sakura still faced off against that girl with the giant scythe. The battered and bloody demon lay closest to Iris' hiding place, giggling and occasionally muttering, "Squish." Between the demon and very scary man, two Wakiji were emerging from the torn up ground. At the center of the square stood Ranma, her left arm dangling useless at her side. Seeing that the boy-turned-girl was in "magical girl" mode, Iris paled. She still remembered Kohran's lecture about how useless her transformation was against Wakiji.
The scary guy laughed as the two Wakiji charged past him. His laughter died when Ranma swung her sword twice. Both spirit creatures collapsed, fluids pouring from tears in their armored sides. "What the hell?"
Despite her pain, Ranma smirked as she resumed her defensive stance. "You know the old saying. 'Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.' "
"I'm not out of tricks yet, girl."
- + - + -
Ranma resisted the urge to charge. She'd spotted Iris hiding behind a trashcan, and desperately wished the girl would clear the field. The battle with the eye freak was hard enough without having to worry about Iris getting in the way. So she tried to keep the guy talking.
Besides. The longer he talked, the more her shoulder could heal.
"Really?" Ranma drawled. "What do you got?"
The man drove his spear into the ground, and reached into the sash of his costume. He pulled out a handful of small glass globes, and tossed them to the ground on between them. The globes shattered, releasing a black vapor from within them. The gas quickly solidified into a group of small demons. Each was barely over a meter tall, somewhat emaciated, and their hands and feet ended in vicious looking claws. As the man retrieved his spear, he ordered the imps, "Kill Shinguji."
Ranma cursed. Eye Fetish-chan had chosen well. The imps ran on either side of him, and Sakura wasn't equipped to deal with demons. Furthermore, she only had time to deal with one, and it would require an attack she'd rather not use in public.
"Venus Love and Beauty Shock!"
Usui, Ranma, and the imps all turned and stared at the scantily clad girl on the nearby roof as she blew a kiss at the nearest imp. The heart-shaped blast of energy slammed into the demon. It screamed briefly as it disintegrated.
Ranma blinked. 'Minako-chan's one of those Sailor Senshi girls? Why can't my life ever be normal? Because it would be boring, that's why.' Figuring that Sailor Venus had already opened the door for ridiculous attacks, Ranma decided to use hers as well.
A single red rose darted from her open palm, the stem impaling itself into the chest of a second imp. A snap of her fingers caused vines to grow from the projectile, threatening to entangle the demon's limbs. The creature began to scream as the vines began to siphon off its energy, providing the fuel they needed to continue growing.
Ranma had just enough time to shout, "Sailor Venus, take care of the imps," before her battle with the furious ghoul resumed.
- + - + -
Sakura didn't have time to sigh in relief at the sight of Ranma easily destroying the two Wakiji. She couldn't handle both the scythe wielding girl and the animated armor at the same time. She'd been vaguely aware of the spearman summoning demons, but when Ranma and the new girl took two of them out, she returned her full attention to her foe. Then the ebb and flow of the battle took her out of the courtyard where Ranma and her foe faced off against each other.
'We're just about equal in skill,' Sakura thought. 'But if she's not hurt by being stabbed in the chest, then she's not likely to get tired like I am. I need to find some way of gaining an advantage.' Sakura's expression grew grim as a desperate plan developed in her mind.
The plan went better than expected. Scythe-chan seemed to be well aware of her reputation as a klutz, so Sakura allowed the woman to guide the battle towards the nearby metal roller coaster. The pair leapt up one of the massive supports to one of the overhead tracks. Once on the single narrow rail of the roller coaster, she turned unsteadily to face the scythe-wielding woman chasing her. She hid a grin of triumph when the girl paused to taunt her.
"It's over, Shinguji. There's nowhere for you to go, and a klutz like you has made things easy for me."
"What makes you think I'm a klutz?"
"I've seen the reports. You could defeat me on the ground, but up here? Where you have to balance on this beam? No, you're mine." Smiling evilly, Kamatari charged forward, only to be surprised as Sakura quite nimbly evaded each attack.
Scythe-chan growled in frustration, "What the hell? I thought you are a klutz?"
Sakura smirked. "You're right, I am the klutz of the Hanagumi. Keep in mind that I'm the most clumsy member of a group of extremely talented martial artists."
Sakura didn't bother mentioning that it was Ranma she had to thank for her newfound agility.
- + - + -
While Shinguji Sakura and Kamatari Honjo renewed their duel high above the ground, Sailor Venus found herself wishing that the others were here. Though her cousin's rose attack had eliminated one of the demons, and her initial attack had destroyed a second, the others continued to evade her attacks. She was currently running through the park, snapping of Crescent Beams at the small, nimble demons.
"Oh, come on pretty girl. Don't be so shy," the demons cackled, lewdly grinning at her. "It's been ages since we got to enjoy a human female as lovely as you."
Minako shuddered as one of the demon's extremely long tongue licked its lips. Much to her horror, the demons had been slowly growing, and several tentacles had grown from their backs. Not to mention that...
Minako swallowed past the lump in her throat. 'I swear if I get out of this, I'll never write another tentacled sex doujinshi as long as I live. The real thing isn't nearly as sexy when you don't get to write the demon's role.'
- + - + -
'We're in a stalemate,' Ranma thought as she once again deflected the ghoul's spear. The two had been savagely attacking each other for a couple of minutes now. Their styles were both defensive, and their skills were too close to make a telling blow without taking heavy damage in return.
Another exchange of attacks resulted in Ranma slamming her back into a wall as she evaded the man-shaped monster before her. She dodged another thrust that punched a hole in the wood and plaster wall behind her. 'No, I'm going to lose. I'll tire, and he won't. I've got change the odds. But how? I've got a new attack that should work, but I need to get past his guard somehow. I need time to think. I need to use the Saotome Final Attack...'
Breaking off for a second, Ranma pointed off to the right and shouted, "Hey! Is that a demonic duck of some sort?"
Usui smirked. "You are desperate, aren't you little girl..."
An unknown voice in heavily accented Japanese shouted out, "Damn it! Can't I even go on a vacation once in a while?"
Despite himself, Uonuma Usui looked to his right and saw there was a demonic looking duck glaring angrily at the red-haired swordswoman.
"You're lucky you remind me of a cute girl back home, toots." The duck said, before waddling away. "I'll send my bill to the Hanagumi."
The spear wielding undead snapped his head back towards Ranma, who was running away, much to his surprise. Usui smiled evilly. "Finally, I get to have some fun. I love it when they run." He gave chase.
- + - + -
Scythe-chan found himself in a quandary. Shinguji had chosen a battleground that gave her an advantage, for even without the weighted chain, Kamatari's weapon of choice was still extremely unwieldy, and their high and narrow perch ensured that unwieldy equaled dangerous. To add insult to injury, the girl's supposed clumsiness had turned out to exaggerated. Finally, he couldn't break off without leaving himself open to attack by Hanagumi swordswoman. The only thing he had going for him was that she would tire, and he would not.
He did have one trick up his sleeve. He just had to wait for an opening to use it, and unlike Sakura, he could afford to wait. The opening came during one of those undeclared truces that came with conversation. After a particularly savage exchange of attacks, and a few choice lewd insults on his part, Shinguji blurted out, "What kind of woman are you?"
Scythe-chan laughed. "My dear child. I am not a woman." He lifted his skirt, revealing that he wasn't wearing anything underneath. "I am a man." He laughed as the girl's expression of horror changed to one of panic as the girl lost her balance. Still laughing, he took a far less precipitous route down in pursuit of the girl.
- + - + -
Minako was in trouble. She had a small horde of tentacled horrors chasing her. They pursued her through park, narrowly dodging each Crescent Beam she tossed at them. The only good news was that as they got larger, they weren't able to dodge as easily anymore. She had managed to tag several of them, but there were too many to risk a lethal attack.
Then there was the conversation within the horde. Even as they gave chase, they kept up a running commentary about exactly what they were going to do to her once they caught her. It did not sound like fun.
'Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Tentacled sex demons definitely aren't sexy,' Sailor Venus thought, 'Not at all. Nope, I'll never write another tentacled sex doujinshi as long as I live.'
She idly wondered if the others were having as much trouble as she was. Snapping off a pair of Crescent Beams, one of which connected with the closest of the demons, she leapt and bounced off a wooden fence, which sent her down a new path through the park.
"Oneesan, go right."
Sailor Venus managed to avoid stopping and looking around for where the girl from earlier was. There was no way she could be close enough to whisper in her ear, so something else must be happening. Blasting the closest demon with another hastily launched Crescent Beam, she dodged right.
After a block, young Iris' disembodied voice said, "Now go right again."
Minako turned right again, launching another barrage of magic as she did so. What she saw in front of her caused her to skid to a halt. Right in middle of the path before her was a statuesque blonde gaijin, pointing a gun right at her. The woman calmly looked at her before saying, "Get down."
With a startled "eep," the blonde Senshi dived towards the ground, moments before the gun went off. Something squealed behind her, followed by the sound of a body hitting the ground. She looked and saw one of the demons with half its head missing. A second later, it began to dissolve. The other demons glanced from their disintegrated comrade, and the tall Russian.
With a quick jump beside the tall woman, Venus prepped a proper Venus Love and Beauty Shock. It didn't take too long for the two blondes to destroy the rest of the demons.
- + - + -
"Come out, come out, wherever you are!" Kamatari Honjo called out playfully as he stalked the pilot of the pink Koubu. He couldn't believe the girl's luck. Despite falling off the roller coaster, despite getting hurt, and despite being right behind her, somehow she'd managed to escape.
That damned duck didn't help any either.
Usui would not be happy. What was supposed to be a simple assassination had turned into a farce. Not only had they failed to kill either of the two Hanagumi, but magical girls kept coming out of the woodwork.
'What is this, some kind of magical girl convention? Have fighting females suddenly decided to congregate in Kyoto at the absolute worst time? Come to think of it, Lord Shishio would be even less happy,' Kamatari the Scythe thought, 'especially if I can't kill one wounded swordswoman. Now what?'
Something large stepped out from between two buildings. Scythe-chan blinked at the amusement park mascot that confronted him, somehow wielding a katana despite a lack of obvious hands. The large yellow teddy bear, wearing a bright green bowler hat and vest, and red bow tie, turned towards him, took an aggressive stance, and beckoned him to attack.
Figuring he had to kill something, the cross dresser attacked. Much to his surprise, the giant stuffed animal parried his attack. That's when he noticed the enormous battle aura around the bear. The dark red aura was growing, obviously in preparation for a ki attack.
The ki attack never came. Instead, a giant mallet appeared in its hand, which smashed him to the ground, even as his brain desperately told his suddenly non-responsive body to move. Despite the power of the blow, Kamatari Honjo's undead nature ensured that he wouldn't lose consciousness.
This proved to be a curse, when the bear repeatedly stomped on his groin, each stomp accompanied by a scream that sounded like "Fumoffu."
"Fu…"
Scythe-chan began to desperately crawl away from the sadistic teddy. A new power was building up. This new power was concentrated not in the bear's battle aura, but the bear's blade.
"Mo..."
The bear's sacred blade.
"Fu!"
The wave of pinkish-white energy ripped into the abomination of nature that was Honjo Kamatari. The combination of sacred energy and ki seared his flesh, and drained his energy. Despite the assault, the seared corpse still crawled away from the Bonta-class mecha with the Theta-Driver. Doom approached step by step as the amusement park mascot approached what was left of Scythe-chan, its battle aura once again burning around it. Pinning the animated corpse with one oversized foot, the mecha plunged its sacred blade into his back. Moments later, sacred fire erupted from the blade, consuming most of the ghoul's chest.
Inside the mecha, Shinguji Sakura breathed a sigh of relief. "Wow… this thing works even better than I thought." She paused a minute, before saying, "I'll be alright Iris. Just lead me to Ranma now." Protected and augmented by Li Kohran's ingenious prototype, she leapt to the roof of a nearby building, following the telepathic messages sent by a twelve-year-old girl.
- + - + -
Uonuma Usui smiled in anticipation of the kill. He had finally run the girl to ground. She glared defiantly at him, once again in a defensive stance. "Well... it's been a good fight, girl, but its time for you to die. Do yourself a favor and don't struggle, or it will be a messy one."
The red-haired girl just stared at him, daring him to attack.
"Very well."
Just as he began to charge forward, the girl did something weird. She threw her sword at him. Automatically, he blocked the kodachi with his shield, before realizing that she was following right behind her sword. Twisting slightly to bring the tip of his spear into her path, he braced for her attack. It took a moment to realize that she wasn't attacking him.
She was attacking his shield. Which was foolish, since the shield was supposed to be indestructible. Much to his surprise, this turned out to be wrong. The girl's punch slammed into his shield, which shattered. So did the forearm to which the shield was strapped. Finally, the massive force of the punch sent him flying backwards.
Usui quickly regained his feet. "That… that was the Futae no Kiwami. Where did you learn the Mastery of Two Layers?"
The girl had paid a price for the destruction of his shield. Though he hadn't managed to skewer her body, his spear had pierced her arm. Unfortunately, it was her left arm, which had been pretty much useless for most of the battle. But her wound didn't matter much, given her unarmed status. Sure, she had destroyed his shield, but she had thrown away her only weapon to do so. His evil grin returned as he prepared to finish this fight once and for all.
Finely honed instincts caused him to duck, as the girl's kodachi passed through where his neck had been previously. He managed not to groan when the girls blade returned to her hand, and she once again assumed a defensive stance. "You know, little girl. I am really beginning to get tired of you."
He assumed a more aggressive stance. "Are there any more tricks you would like to try before I put you out of my misery?"
The girl just stood there. He really had to admire her. She was exhausted and injured. After all her struggles, all she had to show for her efforts against him was the destruction of his shield. Despite the odds against her, she still stood defiant.
"I guess not." He charged forward, his spear again leading his attack. In an act of sheer desperation, she thrust her kodachi forward as a counter. Much to his surprise, it slid right into his chest.
He looked down, where the blade had wedged itself between the fourth and fifth ribs, slightly to the left of his sternum. His gaze moved to the girl's chest, where his spear had stopped a mere centimeter from her armor-clad breast. Finally, he looked at the girl's blade. "But... you had a kodachi, not a oukatana..."
With a smirk, Ranma whispered her new attack. "Vulcan's Fury." Flames licked up the length of her blade, and entered into the undead spearman's chest. The magical fire consumed the contents of Usui's chest, before bursting out the back. The charred remains fell to the ground.
Ranma leaned back against the wall behind her, her sword returning to its customary length. She'd won, but now she couldn't find the energy to check up on the others. She stared at her armored left arm, noting one of the flaws with self-repairing armor. How the hell was she supposed to bandage her arm without transforming back to normal, and losing the benefits that transformation provided?
"Don't worry, Onii-chan," Iris' voice sounded in Ranma's head. "Everyone's okay. Sakura-oneechan destroyed the girl with the scythe, and Sailor Venus and Maria-oneechan killed the little demons."
"Iris?"
"Hai?"
"What happened to the Star-Wars otaku?"
The wait for Iris' answer was longer than Ranma was comfortable with. "We don't know what happened to him. He's gone. Oh, and the Wind Division just arrived with Kanna-oneechan, Kohran-oneechan, Sumire-san, and Ohgami-niichan."
Ranma looked up just as an enormous blimp, the Shougei-Maru, passed overhead. "Okay. I'll be right there."
- + - + -
"Ranma, are you sure you don't want to change back so I can bandage your arm?" A frustrated Kasumi asked, as she prepped a sling for the red-haired swordswoman.
"Don't worry about it. It's barely bleeding now, and I heal faster transformed. I'll be good in a few hours."
"If your sure..."
"I'm sure."
"Alright. If you aren't, I'll send Iris to nurse you."
"How is she, by the way?"
"She's exhausted. Between all her teleporting, trying to get Maria into position to help Sailor Venus, and healing Sakura, she'll probably sleep for hours."
"How's Sakura?"
"She's fine now. She broke a couple of ribs falling from the roller coaster, but Iris healed her right up."
"Good." Ranma followed the eldest of the Kazegumi back to grounded blimp. She smiled when she saw Kirishima Kanna carrying a sleeping Iris, while Kanzaki Sumire and Shinguji Sakura gave his cousin the third degree.
She arrived just in time to hear Minako say, "Minako? What makes you think I'm Minako?"
Sakura grinned impishly, "Well, first you both look alike."
"How can you tell through my disguise field?"
- + - + -
Sailor Mercury pinched the bridge of her nose, as she pulled her teammate away from the growing crowd. She really wished some of her friends would pay attention at times. "For the last time, Moon, we don't have a disguise field."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive."
"Then why doesn't anyone recognize us?"
"Because usually the people we save don't know us very well, it's often at night, you know as well as I do that getting drained of your energy, your heart crystal ripped out, or any of the other things youma have done in the past leaves people loopy for a while. Not to mention that people have a natural tendency to ignore the unusual, and it doesn't hurt that we live in the largest city in the world with a homogenous population.
"Plus there is an effect that encourages people to not pay too close attention to our exact features. But that isn't a disguise, and it certainly isn't fool proof. Strong willed individuals can overcome it. Plus, given enough clues, anyone can figure out who we are. Just like Naru-chan did."
- + - + -
Sakura continued, "Then there's the fact that it seems kind of weird for Sailor Venus to be here of all places, when she's a Tokyo local. Especially on the same day that Ranma's cousin arrives from Tokyo." Sakura smiled a greeting at Ranma, before giving her wounded arm a worried look.
Sumire added, "Not to mention it's pretty obvious that you're related, given how the two of you dress alike."
Kanna walked up, still carrying a sleeping Iris. "What are you talking about, cactus woman? They're dressed nothing alike."
Sumire glared at the red-headed giant of a woman. "Are all those muscles squeezing the juice out of your brain, Kanna? I mean, look at them!"
Kanna waved at Sumire to be quiet, before putting Iris in one of the cabins in the blimp. "Shh… and I am looking at them," she said as she closed the door. "They look nothing alike."
Sakura nodded. "Ranma is wearing metal armor," Sakura said with a little gesture.
"While Venus-san here is wearing a white leotard," Kanna said, putting her hand on Venus' shoulder. The large martial artist frowned, then tapped the shoulder of Minako's fuku experimentially. "What the hell?"
Sakura stepped forward. "What is it?" She also tapped experimentially on Venus' outfit. "This is hard!"
Venus smiled. "You have no idea how many people make that mistake. Sailor Mercury said this stuff is some kind of super-strong ceramic. Even the cloth parts of the uniform are very resistant to damage."
Sumire smiled in triumph. "What were you saying, you talking gorilla?"
Kanna frowned at her teammate. "Ceramic and cloth, rather than metal and leather. They're still not the same."
Sumire smirked. "And what about the decorations on their chests?"
"What are you smoking, Sumire? And where can I find some? Sailor Venus has a bow on her chest..."
"…while Ranma has this ornate ivy design that resembles two crescents facing each other, with some kind of gem in the middle." Sakura finished.
"Which Venus has as well. What about those things on their backs?"
"What about them? The blonde's got a sailor collar and a bow at the small of her back..."
"…while Ranma's has a whip at the small of her back, not to mention a full-length cloak."
"And the mini skirts?"
Kanna shook her head. "You're really stretching things, Sumire. Ranma's cousin has a skirt so short that when you combine it with the rest of her outfit, you can't help but think she's flashing her panties..."
Minako yelped when Kanna demonstrated what she was talking about.
"... While Ranma's so-called skirt is knee length, leather with metal studs, and heavy enough that it won't flip up very easily…"
"Hey!" Ranma protested as Kanna lifted the back of her armored skirt.
"…and she's wearing leather breeches under it." Kanna finished, with a triumphant smirk at the short-haired girl. "Very unsexy."
"Do you mind?"
Kanna grinned at her fiancée's reaction. "Not at all, Ranma-chan. If you all will excuse me?" Kanna walked further into the blimp, followed by an irritated looking Sumire.
Ranma looked at his suddenly uncomfortable looking cousin. "So... Minako-chan..."
"Please call me Sailor Venus when I'm transformed, um... what do I call you, Ranma? When you're transformed, that is?"
"Same thing you call me normally."
"Oh..." The uncomfortable silence returned.
"So... Sailor Venus..."
"Yes?" Minako asked uncertainly.
"You write erotic doujinshi about you and your teammates as a hobby?"
- + - + -
Floating high above Kyoto, Ranma watched an area the length of an entire city block move aside to reveal the hanger of the Shougei-Maru. Beside her, Aino Minako, no longer transformed into Sailor Venus, whistled in appreciation. "These guys sure are well funded."
"Yeah."
Sakura, who had been standing nearby, explained, "Between government funding, Sumire's family business, and this ancient European group that believes that it's their duty to keep portals from opening in our world, and dealing with them when they do, we have all the money and support we need to keep the Kouma from plaguing our world again."
Minako grinned impishly. "So, Ranma... I take it you're a fan of my work?"
"Nah... Akane's sister Nabiki is. She liked to slip her doujinshi into places that when found would embarrass me. Of course, now that I think about it, she might've been trying to give me ideas..."
Minako's grin turned a trifle naughty. "Did they give you any ideas?"
Sakura blushed. She'd never met a girl her age who was as… earthy… as Ranma's cousin. She couldn't picture herself talking to a boy about that.
Ranma returned her grin. "No. That honor was Kasumi's."
Sakura's jaw dropped. "WHAT?"
Ranma blinked for a second, before realizing how that sounded. "Tendo Kasumi, Akane and Nabiki's older sister, not Fujii Kasumi. Though they do seem rather similar..."
Sakura placed her hand over her heart in relief. "Oh. That's good, I guess."
Minako's impish grin returned. "So, Ranma. How many fiancées do you have? Are you starting your own harem?"
"I have no clue how many girls pops engaged to me... and I'm not starting my own harem. I don't really think it's fair to have my attention split like that."
Minako nodded. "That's true. Let's face it... a harem would be wasted on a man. A guy can only please one girl at a time. Two if he's really skilled. A girl, on the other hand, has no problem pleasing at least three guys simultaneously."
On the other side of the room, Maria and Kanna laughed at the two furiously blushing teens, when they had finally processed the blonde girl's comment.
- + - + -
Minako grumbled as she made herself at home in her new room for the next six weeks. She couldn't believe that on her first day here, she'd been assigned homework. It was so unfair, especially after a fight for her life. She deserved some time off, after that mess. She just had to make sure Ami-chan didn't find out about Captain Ohgami's policy of writing up an after-battle report. She was so glad that the Sailor Senshi were a lot more informal about that kind of thing.
She paled as a horrifying idea suddenly came to her. Maybe if they had been a lot more formal about that kind of thing, they wouldn't have died. Twice. Sure, Usagi returned them to life, but she still had occasional nightmares about D-point and Galaxia. Dying was definitely not fun.
- + - + -
"What's wrong, Ami-chan?" Kino Makoto asked as she waited in line for the movie with her studious friend.
Ami frowned at the cell phone in her hand. "I just got a weird call from Minako-chan. I couldn't quite make what she was saying, but it sounded like she was apologizing for not doing her homework and getting us all killed."
"That's sounds more like Usagi than Minako."
"Hai. If I didn't know better, I'd think she was making fun of me."
- + - + -
Kageyama Ichiro headed up the Kougumi, the Night Watch Division, who had the unglamorous role of cleaning up after the battles of the Hanagumi, ideally before the next morning. Given the tremendous spiritual powers that were released during these battles, not to mention how toxic some of the body fluids and corpses of monsters could be, it was their responsibility to decontaminate the area and make it safe for ordinary people. As well as help clean up the physical damage. And that new girl/guy/whatever, Ranma, certainly could do a lot of damage. And unlike the Hanagumi, she apparently didn't need Spirit Armor to do it.
Well, it certainly wasn't as glamerous as the Hanagumi's role in the Imperial Combat Troupe, nor as mysterious as the Tsukigumi's role, or as technical as the Kazegumi's role, but what they did was important. It was messy, dull, hard, and sometimes dangerous, but he took pride in his work. In fact, only two things prevented taking complete joy in his work.
"I'm tellin' ya. These girls just spend their days pretending to be actors, never doing a lick of real work."
"Hai."
"Then they do all this damage, then walk away from havin' to clean it up. Like they're too good to clean up after themselves."
"Hai."
Paakaa and Bureto. They came to work, bitched about it endlessly, and generally lowered the morale of everyone around them. If they weren't so good at what they did, he would've fired them long ago. "Knock it off you two. The day that your work actively tries to kill you, torture you, or do unthinkable things to your body and mind, is the day that you get to genuinely complain about how unfair your job is. Until then, take one the K7a kits, you're assigned to cleaning up sector A-5. I saved that one just for you two."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," The larger of the pair grumbled as he grabbed the handle of one of the equipment kits. "It's probably the worst one too, right Bureto?"
"Hai," the small, wiry man agreed.
"You two are the best we've got for this kind of thing," Kageyama said. Not to mention it was out of earshot from the rest of the Kuroigumi, so for once the rest of them would get some peace and quiet. "Now get going, you two."
"One of these days, we're going to quit this shit job, and then what are you going to do? Right, Bureto?"
"Hai."
"Enjoy my job a lot more," Ichiro said with a smile.
Bureto smiled back, muttering, "Hai," before following his larger partner.
The pair followed the directions on the map they'd been given, before arriving at a charred corpse. "Shoot, what the fuck did that? Must've been that new girl, Ranma."
"Hai."
Paakaa opened a drawer, and grabbed a body bag. "I mean, sure she's a looker, and has got a nice rack, but I wouldn't want to date a girl who could do this kind of thing. Unless she puts out on a first date, right?"
"Iie."
"Huh? Why not?"
"She's really a guy. He's got some kind of girl-curse."
"Oh. I sure didn't need to know that. Well, hurry up and put up those wards. We'll bag 'em and tag 'em, then scrub down the pavement. Shit. That looks like human blood. Do you think that stuff's hers?"
"Hai."
"Damn... I hate it when the girls get hurt."
"Hai."
Paakaa dropped the body bag by the corpse, and then went back for two protective kits. He tossed one kit to Bureto, and grabbed the gloves from the other. This crispy critter shouldn't need the full kit. "Okay, I'll grab the head, you grab the feet."
"Hai."
"On three. One... two... three!" Abruptly, he dropped the corpse, as pain erupted from his abdomen.
"You okay, Paakaa?"
"No, I must've gave myself a hernia or somethin'." The big man groaned, as he pressed his hands to his gut. Instead of his shirt, he felt something warm and slippery. "I... blood?"
His attention shifted from his bloody hand to a startled gurgle. In shock, he could only watch as the corpse stood and grabbed Bureto by the throat. It stared at the struggling man for a second, before snapping his neck. The sharp crack caused him to reach for the walkie talkie clipped to his belt.
He never reached it. The corpse moved quicker than he thought possible, hefting the large man up with one hand. The eyeless corpse stared up at him for a moment, before lifting him up further.
Then it began to feed. Its iron grip on his throat ensured that any screams that he might've made were never heard.
Uonuma Usui finished feasting on the two unfortunate workers, having taken the time to remove a few things he needed, like the smaller man's clothing. It didn't quite fit, but it was better than being naked, especially since his body wasn't fully repaired yet. He smiled to himself. 'Fortunately, bitch, I'm not stupid enough to keep my heart in my chest.' He had also finally gotten himself a matching pair of eyes.
On the way out of the park, he paused at a restroom to make sure he could pass through night-time Kyoto without attracting too much attention.
And stared at his reflection's mismatched eyes.
- + - + -
Lieutenant Ohgami Ichiro walked into the briefing room. He'd skipped supper to go over the after-action reports of Sakura, Maria, Minako, and Ranma. After briefly consulting with Commander Yoneda and Vice-Commander Ayame, and talking with a still sleepy Iris, he went over the afternoon's battle second by second, what went wrong, and what went right. After he had finished, Sakura timidly said, "I'm sorry I forgot Arataka is a sacred blade..."
Commander Yoneda interrupted her. "It wasn't your fault, Sakura-kun. If we had been doing our jobs, we would have realized that the Kouma aren't the only supernatural threat you may have to face. Such specialization was necessary during the Kouma War, but it was naive to assume that nothing would move in afterwards, let alone be something vulnerable to our tactics. I'll make some calls and see if I can get you some additional training. With luck, maybe I can get some additional information as well."
"Thank you, Commander," Ohgami said. "Does anyone else have any comments or concerns?"
Kohran raised her hand. "Hai! Ranma-han?"
"Yes, Kohran-san?"
"How small can you make that sword of yours?"
"I don't know, let's see." Ranma summoned his sword, and willed it to shrink. When it reached the length of a short tanto, he sensed that it wouldn't get any shorter. "That's about as short as it goes, but I'm not sure what good it would be. I'm not a very good knife fighter."
"True. But that is a lot easier to carry around, isn't it?"
"Thanks! Kohran-san, you are a genius!"
"You better believe it, Ranma-han!" The girl laughed, as two small Kohran dolls popped up on her shoulders, cheering, "Kohran, you're the best!"
"Anyone else?"
Sakura sighed, thinking about her sword in her room. She really needed to learn this 'hidden-weapon' style Ranma and Kohran had mentioned. It would be really nice to easily carry her katana around all the time.
- + - + -
Sakakibara Yumi answered the front door of the theatre. Standing there were two young women. The older of the two was a slender beauty with an unusual hairstyle. The younger of the two was a cute girl a little older than Iris. Behind them was a dolly with several suitcases strapped to it. "May I help you?"
"Yes. I'm Mano Yohko, and this is Kanzai Azusa. We're here to bring the rest of Ranma's things."
"Oh, that's nice of you. You could've just mailed it. I'll let Ranma know you're here."
She pulled out a walkie talkie from one of her jacket's pockets. "Kasumi-san? Could you let Ranma-san know that there's a Mano Yohko here? Oh, that's good." She put the small piece of technology away, and smiled at the two girls. "They've just finished a meeting, so they'll probably be here shortly."
"Alright. We can wait here."
While Azusa chose to sit on one of the benches that lined the lobby of the Imperial Theatre, Yohko found herself unable to sit down. Finally, near a set of stairs going up, they saw a small crowd of females exit from a set of double doors, with two men in their midst. One was a handsome man in a Navy uniform. The other, much to Yohko's delight, was...
"Ranma!" The young man in question found himself the recipient of an enthusiastic kiss from Yohko.
Ranma gently disengaged himself from Yohko. "Nice to see you, too, Yohko. What are you doing here?"
"I'm here to bring your stuff, as well as getting your help on a little problem I have..." Mano Yohko finally became aware of the crowd around her. The taller two women were watching the other girls around them with thinly-veiled amusement. A long haired blonde was also watching, but her amusement was plain for all to see.
The short haired girl in a kimono had turned away with an expression of carefully crafted indifference, and was climbing the stairs. "Well, I'm going to bed. Good night, everyone."
The only one to answer was the Chinese girl in the Cheongsam, who was also watching them intently. "Good night, Sumire."
And then there were the two shortest girls, and they were both glaring at her. "Ranma," the black-haired girl said coldly, "Why don't you introduce us to your friend?"
"Yes, why don't you?" The youngest girl said, a blonde westerner a little younger than Azusa, with an expression identical to her older friend.
Ranma sweatdropped. "Of course. Everyone, I would like you to meet Mano Yohko, one of the girls my pops engaged me to. Yohko, I would like you to meet Shinguji Sakura, Iris Chateaubriand, Li Kohran, my cousin Aino Minako, Maria Tachibana, another one my fiancées, Kirishima Kanna, Ohgami Ichiro, and that is Kanzaki Sumire," Ranma finished, pointing up the stairs. "So what kind of problem do you have, Yohko?"
Yohko exhaled in disgust. "It turns out that my grandmother left out some important facts when she explained things about my Devil Hunter's transformation."
"Such as?"
"Such as the fact that it isn't the sex that takes away my transformation, that just changes my outfit. What actually takes away my transformation is giving birth to my first born daughter."
"That's good to know. So, what's the problem?" Ranma didn't notice the amused looks he was getting from Maria and Kanna, nor the exasperated one from his cousin. He did notice that the temperature in the room had dropped several degrees around Sakura and Iris.
"The problem is that I'm still a virgin, and there's no good reason to be!" Yohko grabbed Ranma's hand and began dragging him up the stairs. "And I figure if anyone's going to take care of that problem, I want it to be you!"
"What?" Ranma wasn't the only one to ask that question.
"You know, make me a woman? Pop my cherry? Throw out the first pitch? Sever the flower?"
After a quick glance at Sakura, Ranma tried to put his foot down. "Wait a second, Yohko!"
"Make the beast with two backs? Make the wind and the rain?"
"Yohko!"
"Dammit, Ranma! I'm getting laid tonight, and I'm not taking no for an answer!"
A cold voice interrupted her. "Wouldn't that be rape?"
Stunned, Yohko turned to look at the statuesque blonde staring at her from the bottom of the stairs. "What?"
She wasn't the only one staring, but they were all looking at the tall blonde. Kanna, however, was the first to find her voice. "Maria?"
"I'm sorry, Ranma, I just realized I'm being a hypocrite," Maria said, drawing her gun. "After all, if some man had showed up out of nowhere, and starting dragging one of the girls up the stairs, despite her protests, I would've done this long before now." Yohko found herself staring down the barrel of the gun. She noticed that the bullet in the chamber had been blessed. With an ominous click, Maria cocked the hammer of the six-shooter. "Now, are you going to let him go, or do I make you?"
Even as Yohko complied, Ranma moved in front of her. "Isn't that a bit excessive, Maria-san?"
Maria lowered her gun. "Not at all. Like I said, I think it's too little, and far too late. Now, Mano-kun, would you like to explain yourself?"
"I..."
"Maria, I think that's enough."
"What gives you the right to just barge in here and demand sex?"
"Maria!"
In a quiet voice, Yohko said, "Do you know what the average life expectancy for a new devil hunter is?"
Maria glared up at the hoop-haired girl. "What does that have to..."
"It's eight months." Yohko's voice began to rise. "Do you know many of us get raped by demons in our first six months?"
"I..."
"Seventy percent. That goes up to ninety percent by the end of the year, if we live that long. Let's not even get into the tentacled ones. I mean, they're so common that a couple of families assume it will happen, and have make it a part of their martial arts style."
"I…"
"I've been a devil hunter for almost fifteen months, and I'm still a virgin. And now I found out that my grandmother has been lying to me all this time, and I could've given it to my friend, rather than wait around for some monster to take it from me.
"You know, my first time was almost with a friend, who had been possessed by a demon at the time. It seduced me, and just to make sure I didn't have second thoughts, it dominated me mentally. I wouldn't have been able to enjoy it even if it hadn't been stopped before it went too far." Yohko began shouting at Maria. "So you'll have excuse me if I don't quite match up with your ideals of womanhood. I don't have the time to be shy and demure if I want to beat the odds!" With that, she ran out the front doors.
Maria blinked. "She doesn't expect us to..."
With a scathing look Maria, Ranma ran after her. "Yohko, wait!"
Kanna was also glaring at Maria. "Way to go, Maria."
"Alright, I'd expect some guy to fall for a line like that, but no woman would..."
Sakura ran out the of the theatre, crying, "I need to go apologize to her!"
"Maria..."
"Ok, Kanna, I'll go apologize too. The rest of you better stay here."
With that, Maria hurried after the teens.
- + - + -
"Officer Yamada?"
The police woman turned from the body in the alleyway to the huge Buddhist monk. "Anji-sama. Thank you for coming. This is not pretty."
"The victims of demons seldom are."
"Are you sure that what did this are demons?"
"This alley positively reeks of them. What do you have?"
"The victim is one Lt. Fujita Saori of the Yokohama police. From the state of the corpse, it looks like she's been dead no more than two weeks, but since she's the victim of demonic attack, it's hard to tell…"
"You're thinking youma, who drain life energy, which when fatal results in considerable dessication. Demons drain spiritual energy, which can leave someone alive but soulless, or they kill them physically after they're finished with them. How did she die?"
The woman swallowed against her nausea. "It looks like the actual cause of death was that she was ripped open from the inside. It's obvious that she was sexually assaulted…"
The huge monk looked grim. "I think I get the picture. May I see the body?"
"Sure." She nodded to one of her junior officers to uncover the corpse.
He examined the body for a few minutes. "Was a sword found nearby?"
"How did you know about that?"
"When I heard the name Fujita, I had a feeling about who she was. The sword confirmed it. She's the descendant of Saitou Hajime, leader of the 3rd squad of the Shinsengumi. She had the reputation as one of the strongest swordsmen in Japan... oh no."
"What?"
"She was killed two week ago, right?"
The police woman nodded.
"And there have been no reports of a serial rapist and killer during that time? Except for whoever's been slaughtering yakuza, I mean. One who's been targeting women exclusively?"
"No..."
"Get on the phone, and alert the Hanagumi, immediately. Tell them that I'm on my way there. Whatever they do, they mustn't go out at night. If I'm right about what did this, then we are in a whole mess of trouble…"
- + - + -
"Yohko?" Ranma peered around the alley. He could sense someone was in there, and he doubted there were many Devil Hunters in Kyoto.
"Yeah?"
He walked deeper into the alley. As his eyes adjusted, he could see the slender feminine figure partially hidden behind a dumpster. "You okay?"
The girl looked up at him. "I'll be fine. I don't know what I was thinking, coming here. Of course you would be dating someone already." She resumed her examination of her shoes. "Damn my luck."
"I'm sorry about the scene back there. You didn't deserve that."
"I'm sorry too. I really should've called ahead. Probably should've explained what's been bothering me all this time too." She offered him a rueful smile. "So, are we still friends?"
"Ain't I the one that's supposed to be the one to worry about that?" Ranma smiled at her as well. "Of course we are."
"Good. So you're dating that Sakura girl, huh?"
A quiet voice answered her question. "No, he's not."
"Sakura?"
The kendoka joined them in the alley. "We'd have to have had a real date to be dating, right?" She offered the pair a bright smile. "So be a gentleman, Ranma, and help the lady out."
"You sure, Sakura?"
"I'm sure."
"Alright. Good night, Sakura." Ranma started to walk past Sakura, then realized that the Imperial Theatre might not be the best place to stay tonight. "This way, Yohko," he said, jumping up to a nearby roof. "I thought I saw a hotel in this direction."
After a quick hug and a whispered, "Thank you," Yohko joined Ranma on the roof. Sakura smiled and waved when the pair paused to glance back. It didn't take the pair long to disappear after that.
Sakura managed to maintain her cheerful façade, until someone muttered behind her. "Pathetic."
"Maria?"
"And I'm not sure who's more pathetic. Her for using a line like, 'Please make love to me before some icky monster takes my precious flower,' him for not resisting, or you for not putting up a fight."
"Do you have to be so cynical all the time, Maria?"
"It's called being a realist. And you can't stand there and tell me that you're not disappointed that he's with her right now."
"I'm not."
"Then why are you crying?"
Sakura slowly reached up and touched her cheek. "I am?"
"And the stupid thing is you'll probably spend the rest of his time here giving him the cold shoulder, to punish him for doing as you asked in the first place."
"What am I going to do?"
"What you're going to do is go home, wash up, get some sleep, and then you have a decision to make."
"Decision?"
"About whether you want him as a friend, or whether or not you want a guy that is that easily manipulated through his chin-chin."
"But she had a really good reason for wanting..."
"Please, all that was is a rather original version of, 'I don't want to die a virgin.' We've been fighting monsters for over a year. They want to kill us, not rape us. Tentacled rape demons are the product of a perverted imagination. They don't exist in real life."
A soft footfall drew their attention to the alley mouth behind them. Turning, they saw a tall, cloaked figure silhouetted by the dim lights of the street beyond. Over two meters tall, the creature's three black eyes stared at them, and its demonic aura left them cold. Even as Maria reached her gun, the demon opened its "cloak," which separated into two huge, bat like wings.
Beside her, Sakura came to the horrifying realization that she'd left her weapon at home. As the monster opened its wings, numerous long tentacles unwrapped themselves from its skeletal frame. As the creature's middle eye began to emit a ruby-red glow, Maria felt her mind begin to shut down. Her last thought was one word, in her native Russian.
"Shit."
- + - + -
Next episode teaser:
ominous sounding click
Author: Maria?
Maria: You are not going to leave this as a cliffhanger.
Author: Maria, put down the gun...
Maria: I don't want this hanging over my head until the next chapter, which at the rate you've been writing lately won't come out for another...
Author: I'm sorry, but this is the logical place to break off. If I continue, the pacing of the story requires me to wait until after the Tendo girls arrive in Kyoto, and this chapter is late enough as it is.
Maria: Why not break off earlier?
The author points off stage, where Akane is fingering a giant mallet, and Kasumi is waiting patiently. Somehow, Kasumi's neutral expression was much more menacing than Akane's.
Maria: Oh.
Author: Now, would you please let Tendo Kasumi read the next chapter teaser?
Maria: Very well.
Kasumi: Don't worry, Maria-san. I've read the outline, and one of you manages to escape.
Maria: That doesn't reassure me.
Kasumi: Anyway, next time, on Rurouni Ranma, the Tendo girls finally arrive at Kyoto, and we'll get to learn who plays what in, "The Tradegy of Makoto and Yumi." Here's a hint: Maria won't be playing the male lead.
Maria, muttering in Russian: Oh my god, why did you have to tell me that?
Kasumi: We get to see what the Sailors Pluto have been up to, we get to meet Kanna's boyfriend, and Nabiki gets a little summer job! So tune in next time, for "A Domestic Goddess in Kyoto." The next tragic episode of Rurouni Ranma.
Maria, one the phone: Look, just wake him up. I need to know if he added a "No tentacle sex" clause to my contract for this fic... well, given the current rate of updates, I wouldn't classify it as "urgent," exactly, but...
- + - + -
Somewhere in interstellar space:
The Entity arrived at the designated coordinates. Despite Its impatience, It waited for the Others to appear. One by One, each Entity arrived. When all Four had gathered, they could finally begin.
The First nameless horror said, "The Plan has been disrupted."
The Second shapeless abomination agreed. "Indeed, the Balance has been upset."
The Third indescribable monstrosity growled out, "Our returns have been reduced."
The Second said, "This is unacceptable, the Balance must be restored."
"The world must be Cleansed," the Fourth unspeakable malignancy mused.
The First said, "As we will it, so shall it be."
The rest, echoed, "So shall it be."
As One, the Four resumed their journey towards a planet called Earth.
- + - + -
Omake
One of the disadvantages of adding Shishio and Company to this arc of the story is that the cast of major characters grew a bit larger than I wanted to deal with. As such, a few characters that I had originally planned to help fight off a previously generic demonic invasion, and be a part of the play in the B-plot, won't be appearing after all. Here are their introduction scenes:
- + - + -
Iris walked onto the stage, wondering once again at her onee-chan's taste in anime. Granted it was extremely popular, but the opening theme was positively atrocious. And now she'd have to perform it.
As the blonde French girl began to sing "Catch You, Catch Me," out in the audience, a mortified shorthaired woman in her twenties held her head in her hand, and complained to her best friend, "Tomoyo-chan, did you have to turn my childhood into an anime?"
The longhaired woman beside her turned her ever-present digital camcorder towards her. "But Sakura-chan! You're so cute!"
"You could've at least changed our names..."
- + - + -
I couldn't resist adding these three, after someone commented on the similarities between Ranma's magical-girl outfit and a certain character from an H-Game that's been turned into a rather good mainstream anime, which is fun to watch, especially when you're trying to figure out where those scenes would've been in the original game.
- + - + -
"This is a waste of our time," the conservatively dressed shorthaired blonde grumbled. "We should be looking for the Grail, not visiting some amusement park."
The black-haired young woman beside her sighed. "Saber, if we had even a single lead on the Grail, we would. But there hasn't been a peep since the abrupt end of the Grail Wars over two years ago."
"I know that Rin, but..."
The brown haired young man following the two women added, "Besides, we have been looking for the Grail, but it doesn't hurt to take a break now and then. And I've heard great things about the Kyoto fair, so since we're in the area anyway..." He was interrupted by the P.A. overhead. "What's a code black?"
Off to the right, a tornado emerged from behind some of the attractions. Moments later, the distinctive sound of a magical attack reached their ears. The young man grinned at the two ladies accompanying him. "Well, it looks like the Grail Wars have moved here."
The younger of the two women shook her head. "Shirou, you won. This is probably completely unrelated to the Grail Wars. There are a lot more magic users in the world than Masters and Servants. We should..." Tousaka Rin trailed off as Saber and Emiya Shirou traded stares. It didn't take long for Saber to lose their silent argument. "... probably play the hero and go see if there's anything we can do to help." She said with an unenthusiastic sigh.
- + - + -
Thankfully, during the re-edit of the Kyoto arc, I noticed I had gotten the timeline of Rurouni Ranma confused with another Ranma/Sailor Moon crossover I've been working on. Since Saber and company are no longer a part of this arc, that mistake was sent to the cutting room floor.