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The 10th Morning

Like a fresh sprout, Mei stood in the grass at the top of his hill. He was some distance away from the lair's entrance, but close enough that he'd know if Gabu emerged. Both of them had slept late today, well past dawn. As Mei saw it, both of them had earned it.

Several things were still weighing on Mei… the fact that he'd never see Jenny again, just as their friendship had been blooming; the fact that Gabu still hadn't eaten anything but nuts since he'd accidentally ended that friendship; the strange and disturbing things he and Gabu had said last night. He couldn't understand why he'd behaved as he had—leaping against Gabu; waking him; offering himself as a perennial midnight snack. Yet something about the tension they'd been experiencing made it all feel right. Necessary, even. Mei had had to make a offering, and the offering had to be himself. He'd known it wouldn't be accepted. Well, almost known. Gabu had been hungry, angry, vulnerable and hurt—if he was ever going to kill Mei, it would have been last night.

How strange. Mei now knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that his friend would never eat him. And all it had taken was to wake up a sleeping predator eight times his size and say things no goat should ever say.

That was the second step on the journey to forever. He realized that now. He'd taken it almost by instinct, and now he was on the next leg. But where would it lead? Where could things go from here?

Out of nowhere, a perky voice from the grass. "Is happy?"

Mei panicked for a moment before realizing it was Bepo. They'd been talking occasionally in the mornings; he shouldn't have been surprised. "Hi, Bepo. Um… I'm reasonably happy."

"Last night. Big shaggy. In and out." The vole scampered over, keeping a cautious distance, and stared at the hilltop lair.

"Um, yes. Big shaggy." Should he try to avoid admitting that he knew Gabu? No, Mei realized. That was what had caused the tragedy with Jenny. He had to be honest. "He lives there too."

"You and him?" The rodent sat up taller, apparently surprised.

"We live together, we traveled here together," admitted Mei. He enjoyed how it sounded.

"Hoofy and shaggy?"

Mei smiled. "Yes, hoofy and shaggy."

"Are mates?" asked Bepo.

This took Mei aback. "No, we're not mates," he answered. "But we're very close friends." Part of him had wanted to answer 'yes'.

"Is normal? Hoofy and shaggy friends?"

Mei swallowed. "It isn't exactly normal… where we come from."

"Not normal? Only sometimes?"

Mei's horns felt heavy. "Well, to tell the truth, so far as I know, it's never happened before."

The tiny black eyes blinked. "Never happen?!"

"We're the first I've ever heard of. A hoofy being friends with a shaggy."

Bepo looked all around. "World big. Bepo small. First anything very special."

Mei's heart fluttered with the knowledge of it. "That's true."

"Bepo so lucky. Friend with first hoofy also friend shaggy. Suddenly special!"

Mei quivered with excitement. He wondered if, in all the lands of the world, across however many mountains and cliffs and oceans and forests there were, a pair like himself and Gabu had ever walked the earth before. But Bepo had used another word, too. "Are you my friend, Bepo?"

Bepo ran up and hugged Mei's ankle, resting against him with eyes shut. "Suddenly Bepo special. Of course friend!"

So Bepo was grateful that it got to know someone so unique. It had been an ordinary vole among millions or billions; now it was special itself. Mei felt like a figure out of legend. His knees trembled.

"Thank you for being my friend, Bepo. I was just feeling like I needed one."

The vole's eyes popped open. "Always time. Can meet shaggy?"

Mei grinned; he'd been just wondering whether to offer. "I think he'd love that. How about we wait until tomorrow, though… just to get him used to the idea."

Bepo nodded, chin vibrating almost faster than Mei could see. "Meet tomorrow!"

"Tomorrow," Mei nodded. But he realized as the vole moved off—he'd left something out. And he only had a moment to decide whether to include it. Just that quickly, Mei's moral strands had to work themselves out… and they did. "Bepo, wait!"

The vole turned, already halfway down the hill. "Yes?"

Mei took a breath and prepared himself for the potential blow of losing another friend. "There's something I have to tell you."

"Tell?" asked Bepo.

"Shaggies… like my friend… eat meat."

The rodent's head tilted. "Meat eat?"

"They eat creatures like you and me. Only… Gabu won't do that. He won't eat me, and he won't eat you. So you'll be safe."

"Not meat eat?"

"He won't eat you if I tell him you're my friend. Do… do you still want to meet him?"

The vole hesitated, but nodded. "Still want. If not eat, then meet."

So simple. So beautifully trusting. "All right. In case, I look forward to introducing you tomorrow!"

Bepo nodded once more and dashed away. Mei remained in thought, watching the path he'd gone by, for some time.

A low, musical moan emitted from the cave behind him. It felt like the dawn's rays, even though the sun was already a fair distance into the sky. Mei turned to the sound of Gabu's voice…

"Hyululu hyululu! I'm sorry for last night.
Hyululu hyululu! I didn't mean to fight.
Hyululu hyululu! You are my only friend.
Hyululu hyululu! I'm with you to the end."

In the wake of his verse, the wolf slunk out bashfully. Mei cantered over and managed to hug him on the muzzle, tricky though this was. "Good morning, Gabu!"

His face became a bouquet of delight. "Mei! You mean you're not mad?"

Mei clucked his tongue in the negative, smiling. "What would I be mad about?"

Gabu's face dropped. "I threatened to eat Mii."

Oh. That's right, he had. Yet Mei had never taken it seriously. "Don't worry about it," he said, giving Gabu a gentle nuzzle with his crown. "It was just part of the strangeness of the night."

Gabu sighed. "I wish I hadn't eaten that chipmunk."

"I admit it was unlucky," Mei replied. "But you really didn't have any way of knowing. I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"You don't have to apologize, Mei. I feel terrible about it."

Mei tapped the all-too-slack belly with a smart hoof. "You shouldn't! Gabu, I want you to get out there and eat more chipmunks! And anything else you can get your teeth on. I'm worried about you. I won't feel comfortable until you've got a full belly."

Sure enough, Gabu's belly rumbled, on cue. He looked down helplessly at it. "Are you sure? I could wreck so many friendships…"

"Well, you may want to stay away from black voles, just in case you run across Bepo. I told it about you just before you came out—it's agreed to meet you!"

"Really?" Mei could see Gabu's heart pounding. "It has?"

"I even mentioned that you eat meat. Gabu… I think I'm going to make that a rule from now on. We can try to make friends… but if I meet someone friendly, I'm not going to pretend you don't exist, even for a little while. I'll tell them about you on our first meeting, and I won't hide the fact you're a carnivore. If they don't want anything to do with me after that… well, I can hardly blame them!" He was surprised to find himself beaming, but then, Mei always did take great joy in the discovery of principles.

The downside to closing his eyes with bliss was getting caught in an unexpected hug. Mei found himself hefted off the ground and swung; his legs shook and his innards juggled! He laughed in clear and earnest. "Gabu!"

The hug became a warm, proper squeeze before he was set down. If Mei had known this was what it was like to be caught by a wolf, he would have let it happen it sooner.

"Do you think we'll make any friends that way, Mei?"

"I don't know," he replied honestly. "…But if we do, they're sure to be brave!"

Gabu chuckled. "That's for the best, isn't it?"

Mei looked back at his companion, now feeling the full warmth of day. "I suppose. But Gabu… before anything else, we need to get some food in you. I'm worried."

"Oh…" The wolf patted his own belly with a broad paw, smiling. "I'll be all right."

But Mei was serious about this. "Is there any way I can help? I can come with you today if you think I could be useful."

Gabu blinked. "Come with me? Hunting?"

Mei nodded. "If there's any question of your being too starved to hunt, I want to help."

The lupine heart pounded harder—Mei could almost hear it. "Ohh, Mei. You don't have to do that. I'm not that far gone. In fact, there's a certain benefit to hunger—it can make your senses all the sharper when you're on the hunt! If I just listen to my belly, I'll be sure not to miss my targets."

His targets. Mei was offering to become an apprentice hunter—a true accomplice. It fazed him how unfazed he was. Think of what your mother would say, he imagined his grandmother saying. But then he imagined telling his mother about the amazing new friend he'd made. And he imagined his mother wiping her tears on the grass and telling him to pursue what made him happy. Yes, a wolf had killed her. But if a different wolf could make her son happy… it was redemption, wasn't it? And wasn't redemption a beautiful thing?

But this wasn't redemption, was it? It wasn't as if Mei had talked Gabu into giving up hunting. This was Mei offering to lower himself to the wolf's level. This was corruption. Yet somehow Mei felt fresh and clean about it. He had no doubt in the world this was the right thing for him to do.

"You're sure, Gabu? I feel guilty about the satisfying liver I'm not letting you have." He winked. "Anything I can do… just let me know."

Gabu sniffed with happiness and, Mei didn't doubt, a smidge of hunger's desperation. "What did I do to deserve a friend like you? But really, Mei… I don't want you to have to see me hunt if you don't have to. Tell you what—I'll go hunting, and if I haven't had any luck in a few hours… I'll come back and ask for your help."

Mei smiled and nodded. "I'll be right here. My number one priority is to get meat on your bones."

Gabu laughed merrily, rising for a moment to dangle his forepaws. Then he set his weight on them again. "Until later, Mei! I'm off to hunt!"

It made Mei happy his friend was comfortable saying the word now, and that he himself was comfortable hearing it. "Best of luck, Gabu!" He stood tall and grinned, his tail pert in temporary farewell.

Only once Gabu was out of sight did Mei lower himself to the nearest patch of grass and take a satisfying bite. For a brief moment, he let himself imagine he was daintily eating some poor creature's liver.

Life really was funny, wasn't it?

The 10th Day

Gabu threw himself into hunting with a vengeance he'd rarely worked up before. He hunted all day long. He didn't stay in one place; once he'd startled the pace of life in one field, thicket, or patch of woods, he swung his head to catch some clue for where he should trot next, then sprang off to catch new creatures by surprise. He terrorized the Emerald Forest. It was actually giving him pleasure to leave no segment of land unhunted, to leave no one feeling safe.

It wasn't that he wanted to scare people. It wasn't that he wanted to be a monster. It was that he didn't want anyone more to be surprised by the fact. He wanted it in the open. Gabu remembered a cub from his pack with a deformed nose—the mothers had whispered, the other cubs had made fun of him secretly. Eventually the poor thing had sprung angrily into a crowd, claws cutting the earth, hackles up, and yelled, "YES, I know I have a deformed nose! Can we just get it over with?!"

Today, Gabu understood how that boy cub had felt. His hunt was fueled with energy drawn from the same place. Yes, I'm a monster. I know I'm a monster. I hate it too. Fear me, spit in my tracks, curse me. Just get it over with. For the sake of all that's good, please just get it over with.

It paid off. He killed four mice, two brown voles, a meadowlark, two rabbits and a tree squirrel. He terrified dozens more with ominous prowls and near misses. He even surprised a solitary badger hunting the same chipmunk he was, swerving to rake his back and crush him to the ground. The badger squawked in amazement—it must never have considered the idea that it, too, could be prey. In that moment, Gabu couldn't help but imagine a larger animal sneaking up behind him, bending over to grab his hindquarters and yank. Even as he ended the badger's life, he wondered whether there were wolf-killers in the world. He almost wanted there to be. It would only be fair.

He didn't cry as he stuffed his gut, hour by hour, chase by chase. But he wanted to. He wanted to be the kind of wolf who cried over every creature he destroyed.

The 10th Evening

Slowly, heavily, Gabu paced back to Flowery Hill. He could hear his own heavy breathing, laden with the scent of blood and meat. His belly felt tight, he'd eaten so much in such a short time. He wondered how long he'd sleep tonight. He was afraid Mei would see him and be disgusted. He was half disgusted with himself, if half proud.

"Gabu!" The cry came before he'd even smelled Mei's approach. Gabu looked up, smiling despite himself—he was getting tired, his senses weary. Mei ran down the hill at a steep angle and came cantering to a halt just before reaching him.

"Hello, Mei."

Mei laughed, looking him over. "I can see you ate well today! You even smell like blood."

Gabu sighed in shame, letting his neck sag.

"Well done, Gabu! I was worried for you, but I can see I didn't need to be. How do you feel?"

He gathered his strength to give an answer better than just a few weary words. Mei deserved a good answer. "Well, Mei… I feel like I couldn't possibly chase down another field mouse, or eat another bite."

The goat was so ebullient, it was like he wanted to bounce in place. "So you're full, then?"

"Very much so. I feel like…" He wanted to call himself a disaster, one of the worst ever to strike this pristine land. But he didn't want Mei to frown, so he continued, "…like I want to go to bed early tonight. You won't mind, will you, Mei?"

Mei frowned anyway. "No, I don't mind." He looked up at their lair on the hilltop. "Would you mind if I joined you?"

"No, I wouldn't mind either." In fact, Gabu had almost been hoping for it. "I think that would make me feel much better." He began trudging up the hill, strangely conscious of all the flowers his huge paws were crushing along the way.

He lay facing away from the entrance. Wind licked at his tail, but he tried to ignore it. If it was saying hello, he wasn't worthy, and if it was tugging at him to lay blame, he didn't want to hear it. Gabu curled his tail beside himself. Mei watched him quietly for a moment before coming to lie down nearby. He didn't rest directly against Gabu tonight. But that was for the best. Right now, the two of them needed their distance.

"Are you all right?"

"I'm not sure, Mei."

Gabu was grateful for the few seconds that passed before Mei asked, "What's wrong?" That meant this was going to be a slow conversation, and that was what Gabu needed in order to digest.

"I'm afraid," he moaned, and set a paw over one eye.

"Ohh." Mei's utterance was like gentle spring wind over tall grass. "Well, Gabu. Whatever you're afraid of, I'm here for you. And I'll help, however I can."

Silence. "Thank you, Mei. I appreciate that."

Silence. "So. Would you like to tell me what you're afraid of?"

Silence. "Sure, Mei. Let me just digest for a little while, and then I'll see if I can put it into words."

Silence. "All right, Gabu. I'll be here."

Gabu felt his stomach working on all he'd devoured. The good meat, the questionable, the water from the brook. At the same time, he felt his heart working through all the killing he'd done—alone, but not unsupported. It had been one thing to sneak in a furtive kill while Mei was asleep, or to hunt without discussing it while his companion ate his midday meal. It was another thing to go hunting at Mei's urging, with his full support. He worried about what he was doing to Mei. Was he changing his best friend into something unnatural—something he shouldn't be?

"I scared a lot of people today," he finally murmured.

He heard Mei breathe in, breathe out. "I'd guess you're right."

"I didn't leave anyone alone. Except the monkeys. I never bother the monkeys. I don't think I could catch one of them." He hadn't seriously tried to catch any deer either, but that was because they were close to his own size and quick—he didn't think he could take one alone.

"And you're still hoping to make friends with them, right?"

Gabu groaned. "I guess so. I just don't know if that's possible."

Mei's breathing was almost imperceptible now. "Does it bother you that you scared so many animals?"

"Yes," moaned Gabu without hesitation. He pressed his paw over both eyes, shutting out the light. "I just don't understand why I did it. We've both agreed it's best for us to try to make friends here. But how am I supposed to do that if I just kill everyone I see?"

"Well, you were starving. You had to fill your belly. Please don't blame yourself for doing what you had to do."

"I could have been more careful," whimpered Gabu. "I could have stuck to just one field, or one… one patch of woods."

"But if you do that day after day," Mei pointed out," all the animals will just avoid that patch of woods, or that meadow."

Gabu knew that. He'd understood it even before he'd suggested it. "There must be some middle ground. I was out of control today. I've damaged everything."

The gentle touch of woolly hair pressed against Gabu at last. "I know it seems strange to say it… but I honestly think what you did today was for the best. You've… let the animals know what they're in for. You didn't hold back. Later on, no one will be able to say they didn't know what you were capable of."

"No one is going to want to be my friend ever again!" moaned Gabu, pushing against his face with both forepaws.

But the pressure at his side increased to match the pressure on his face. "It's okay, Gabu. In the worst case scenario, we can just move again. I'd be perfectly willing to do that. We could start fresh somewhere else. And if there is a better way to do things, we can find it there."

This thought actually did raise his spirits a bit. "Assuming there are no other wolves there," he quibbled. "And assuming the rumors about us don't get there before we do."

"I'm sure this land isn't the only place in the world without any wolves," said Mei optimistically. "And I'm sure if we walk far enough, we can find someplace where no one knows about us."

"All right," said Gabu. "You do have a point. But how would we do anything differently there? I'm still a freak of nature who has to kill people to survive."

"Gabu. You are not a freak. You're just a meat-eater. It's a very normal thing, really."

Gabu whimpered and let his legs slump forward. It was normal for meat-eaters to stick to their own kind. That was the solution to this problem. That was the solution nature had found, and who under the broad blue sky were the two of them to say it wasn't best?

All of this was just because Gabu and Mei were stubbornly sticking together. They assumed they'd always be together and went from there. What if that basic starting point was just fatally flawed, all by itself?

"Well, Mei. That's not the only thing that's bothering me."

"Oh?"

Gabu set his chin resentfully on the soft earth floor. "Today, I was able to feed myself fine. But what if it only gets harder from here?"

"Harder? What do you mean?"

"What if all the animals learn to avoid me? I caught a lot of them off guard today, that's true. But what if the ones who are left are wilier, and smarter, and faster? I can't imagine it getting any easier. They'll learn how I hunt and figure out how to keep from getting caught."

"Mm," said Mei. "That's true. I remember the elders of my herd were always trying to outwit the wolves… trying to figure out where you'd strike, and when, and where you wouldn't go…"

"The sad thing is," said Gabu, "we were willing to go pretty much anywhere there was food! So in a way it was futile… there was no escaping us forever."

"Did your pack have elders who told you where to hunt to find the most succulent prey?"

Gabu wished Mei wouldn't talk like that. "We had an alpha. Giro. He was as scary as anything. We all respected him but feared him too. And there was a beta, Bari. I was always trying to impress Bari, but the truth is, I was scared of him, too."

Mei lay in thought. "I suppose that, given all the generations of wolves who've hunted generations of goats, we reached a sort of equilibrium. We had a home pasture and knew where to run when we were attacked. We knew more or less when to visit the fields with the nicest grass, but we also knew that sometimes we'd be surprised." There was a tone of contentment in his voice. "We even established regular relations with the nearby herds, and once in a while we even brought our kids together for a field trip."

Gabu remembered having his body fondled by eager goat children while he lay hiding in a bush. "It's strange… how much you were able to get used to, I mean. How can you get used to being attacked, and your lives put in jeopardy?"

""I guess it's just what we had to do."

"You got used to it because you had to?"

"Mm," assented Mei.

"I guess that's how it happened for us wolves, too," he realized sadly. "How do you get used to killing other creatures? Creatures who, just like us, have families and loved ones?"

"Is it difficult for a wolf to kill someone?"

Gabu thought about it. "For most, no. For me… maybe a little."

"You get used to it because you have to," said Mei.

"I think it's harder now," replied Gabu. "I think I've gotten myself unused to it."

Mei nuzzled his belly warmly with his crown, careful not to poke him with his horns. Gabu took that to mean there was nothing left to say for now.

But Gabu wasn't quite done. "How can a person get unused to something?" he wondered.

"I guess he can see it in a new light," said Mei.

Gabu lay down with his chin on his forelegs and waited anxiously for sleep.

A/N: While Gabu hunts in a fervor, a third of a synodic month has passed since the movie ended.

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