Regina stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel expertly around her head. She hadn't dared to look in the mirror until now, afraid of seeing dark shadows under her eyes and other unsightly signs that only magic could hide. As she wiped away the condensation with a wave of her hand and saw her reflection she paled. It was worse than she thought. Her eyes looked so large in the incredibly thinned face. When she raised a hand to see if the mirror-Regina was real, she noticed the bones in her hands had become more prominent. She remembered not feeling hungry on Christmas Day after Emma had left and intending to eat the left over food on Boxing Day, but that was when she retreated to her room. As her magic grew weaker and her appetite didn't increase she had brought less and less food up to her room. She was supposed to arrange for the food delivery three days ago, that was her schedule. It felt wrong to waste food so she only kept in enough to last until she could go shopping. If she was lucky she might have a few canned goods. There were always the apples in the garden, not that she could face going outside but if she could build up enough strength she might manage to bring on inside with her magic. Had she stored anything in the freezer? She liked to have something in for an emergency. In case she had to work late and still wanted Henry to eat a proper meal.

Yes, there might be some lasagne left. It wouldn't take long to heat up in the microwave. She averted her eyes from the mirror, sickened by the frail woman she saw there. She would make herself go downstairs and eat a large meal. Build herself up to go outside again. It was New Year's Eve, or maybe New Year's Day; she'd have to check somehow – maybe the television or her computer.

Once she was dry she headed into the bedroom, choosing a soft blouse, long skirt and warm cardigan to wear. Her moments were slow, her unused, sleepy muscles almost painful.

If it was New Year's Eve, then she had a New Year's resolution to make. Regina forced herself to eat the final mouthful of lasagne on her plate and leant back in her chair. It was a start in the right direction.

She tried using her magic to clean up, feeling relieved when it worked. It was a good sign. It meant she was getting stronger.

The Christmas decorations were still up. She had forgotten them. There were still a few days until they had to be taken down. They could wait.

The house was so quiet without Henry. She missed him so much. It got her thinking about her father and Daniel. It made her think about her mother. Everyone left her eventually. Except….Henry had chosen to leave and they hadn't.

Regina realised that she needed to see them. Or, at least, visit their graves. Her resolution for next year should be to spend more time at the mausoleum, she told herself. She always wanted to try and be a better person when she went there. It was as if she could hear them trying to remind her who she used to be.

Regina pushed herself out of the chair, one hand on the table just in case the sudden movement was too much for her legs. She waited a moment, just to be sure, then turned to the window overlooking her garden. Reaching a hand towards her apple tree, she teleported a handful of apples to take with her. In their natural state they had great healing properties and would restore what she had lost. It was ironic really, that she had used these same apples to try and harm Snow White.

That was much better.

Emma smirked as she saw her reflection, twirling to see the full effect of her new outfit. The shower had done her good; her hair was curled and looking smooth, her skin was almost glowing from the high temperature she had set and the feel of the new clothes against her skin was almost intoxicating.

Regina was going to open to the door to her; she had to. Emma knew it just as simply as she knew Leroy would end up drunk tonight.

Moving quickly down the stairs, she grabbed her keys and waltzed out of the door. She fancied a walk to Regina's, so she left her car where it was and headed towards Mifflin Street. People looked happy as they passed her and almost everyone wanted to stop for a chat, but she told them she couldn't stop and kept walking. She was practically whistling as she approached Regina's driveway.

That's strange. Emma paused at the gate.

Regina's car was gone.

Regina placed a gentle hand on her mother's stone coffin and finished her silent conversation. She moved to Daniel's side, but something inside made her head towards her father instead. Tracing the letters of his name on the plaque, she realised that every time she had come here it had been to ask his forgiveness. She had talked to him about Henry and her life in Storybrooke, but she always ended with an apology for what she had done. Now though, she wanted to talk about something different. She closed her eyes as she spoke. It made it a little easier to picture him standing there, listening to her. She thanked him for all the happy memories from her childhood, for loving her and making her feel special.

"You always called me your little princess. Mother never understood that was the only kind I wanted to be. You gave me Rocinante and arranged for me to have riding lessons. When mother was away you let me have the freedom to ride when and how I wanted. You taught me how to grow and care for the apple trees that provided the bulk of our income. Even though mother said I would never need to know it, you taught me, because it was part of your family traditions. I used to love walking through the orchard with you, listening to you explain everything from cultivating the right seeds to harvesting the apples. It was our secret world, because mother never wanted to understand what she called peasants work. You gave me an apple tree for my wedding present, knowing mother wouldn't approve but wanting me to try and find some happiness. Time and again you proved that you would do anything for me. That was the type of parent I wanted to be for Henry."

She paused. This time when she spoke to him there were no new stories about Henry, so instead she spoke to him about Daniel. How much she had loved him and how she hoped he would have given his blessing for them to get married.

"I know you liked him and he made me so happy. If things had been different… but mother didn't have her heart. I understand that now. Everything she did, she will always have that excuse. Everything I did, my heart remained within me. That kind of darkness filled my heart and changed me. I'm not worthy of the love Daniel had for me, or…" She squeezed her eyes tighter shut. "Or that anyone else might…"

"Yes you are."

Regina almost fainted on the spot. What ghost had come to haunt her now? The voice had been little more than a whisper; she couldn't be sure who it was.

"No…"

"Yes."

This time the voice was closer, louder and warm hands clasped tightly around hers. Regina opened her eyes and stared into the green of Emma's. She stepped back, pulling away as if Emma's touch had burned her.

"Miss Swan, what…"

"I came to find you."

"This is a private place, you have no right…"

"You were supposed to let me in on Boxing Day. We were going to talk." Emma watched her try to back away further but the walls were too close together and there was nowhere for her to run.

"There's nothing to talk about."

Regina's emotions were in a whirl. One minute she had been feeling low, picturing the lost opportunities and reminiscing over the deaths of those she had loved. The next, she was interrupted and her senses went on high alert. Goosebumps rose on her skin and she felt a tingling along the back of her neck. The way Emma looked at her now, hurt in her eyes, it wasn't supposed to make her react this way. She turned away but all she could find to focus on were the coffins.

"Damn Regina, you look awful. What happened?"

Regina laughed at Emma's straightforward question. It was a little refreshing to have such open honesty instead of the political doubletalk, which had a powerful sting. Words like the ones her mother used to make her doubt herself. Emma said what she thought without censoring it first but the words weren't meant to hurt.

"I'm fine."

"I don't accept that."

Regina looked shocked as Emma suddenly straightened and a new light came into her eyes. She stopped just inches from the secret panel in the wall which would lead to the hidden room. It was only supposed to be used as a last resort.

"Emma… Miss Swan…"

"I know you can call me Emma. You called me that at Christmas. Do you remember?" Emma moved slowly towards her, hoping that by distracting Regina with her words she wouldn't notice just how close she was getting.

It was painful trying to move so slowly when she just wanted to rush towards her and wrap her up in her arms. Regina looked so fragile, her skin was pale and she had lost so much weight.

She saw Regina blink and took another half-inch step forward. It was like a game she had played as a child. One person turned away from the group, calling out numbers and the group could step forward that many steps, but if the person turned around and caught them they were out.

"So tell me the truth."

"About what?"

"Why didn't you answer the door when I came round? I waited and waited. I knew you were inside and you left me out there…."

"I assumed you came to the same conclusion I did."

"Which was?"

"That Christmas made you a little emotional and you wanted a reason to avoid your parents."

As soon as the words were out of her mouth Regina regretted them. She didn't mean them, but she didn't know what else to say. It was as though someone else was putting these thoughts into her head and she wasn't in control.

Emma didn't seem phased. "Are you sure it wasn't because you were scared?"

"I'm not afraid of you."

"Maybe not, but I think you are scared about loving people."

"You think I love you?"

Emma shrugged. "I don't know. You haven't given us a chance to talk and see how we feel. That kiss… those kisses, they meant we're at least attracted to each other."

"Don't you think that our lives are complicated enough…"

"I thought everyone from your world believed in love as the solution to everything."

Regina shook her head sadly. "Only True Love."

"Dammit Regina!" Emma was close enough now to grab hold of the front of Regina's blouse, which she did, pulling the other woman closer.

Her surprise at the action stopped whatever she was going to say. Regina looked down at Emma's hands, then back up into her eyes. She saw something there she hadn't seen in such a long time. She felt her chest constrict.

"Oh what the hell." She muttered, giving in and grabbing the top of Emma's arms to hold her still as she kissed her.