RPOV

My skin was hot to the touch, but I was in a cold sweat.

It lingered in the corner of my room, watching silently. I stared at it through the corner of my eye. I couldn't look at it; not directly. Maybe it was because it was horrifying, but something told me it was because I didn't want to acknowledge the fact that I had been driven to the point of hallucination.

It took a "step" toward me. Well, not so much a step as it just glided over, stopping only a foot away from where it had previously been. Its tongue, though I hardly thought it one, considering it had no mouth, slid curiously in my direction as though trying to feel out where I was.

I was completely still, minus my heartbeat hammering in my chest. Was I even breathing? I felt it would be too much of a risk to avert my eyes to see whether my chest was rising and falling. A faint ringing ran between my heartbeats.

'You're being ridiculous.' I tried to tell myself, 'It's not real. It can't be. These things don't exist.'

'Yeah,' Said another voice; smaller but still echoing my own, 'But neither do vampires or werewolves or shape-shifters, remember?'

The... thing moved closer. I saw vaguely what could almost resemble the shape of a man if I looked quick enough. But the way the ash-looking substance glided, mimicking (as far as I could see) human-like joint movement though it didn't need to, was unnatural; too unnatural to be real.

The argument in my head started again.

'Or,' said the second voice, 'too unnatural to be imagined.'

I shuddered. It moved even closer, a cloud of sweet ash sweeping by my face. It filled my lungs and I coughed again. The vague conversation in the living room paused briefly.

Its tongue slithered around some more, still searching. My cough seemed to give it a lead. The thing made its way toward me in a quicker pace now. The closer it got, my head seemed to give an extra throb. Maybe I just didn't like the idea that something I knew didn't exist was getting to me this way.

Its tongue hovered in front of my face. It was so close that I could no longer ignore it. The scaly-looking texture of the ash, smoke or whatever it was lingered by my forehead, a fine point at the very end of it.

I remained still as the needle touched my skin lightly. A piercing pain shot through my skull. I wanted badly to grasp it in my hands- moan, maybe scream, but I had to stay still. This was not real, and if it was, I would not give it the satisfaction of knowing it was doing its job- that is, if it could feel satisfaction.

The rest of the tongue slid soundlessly across my throat, as if to mock a death that hadn't happened. The feeling was so extreme that I couldn't tell if it was hot or cold. But somehow, I managed to stay entirely still.

There was a very sudden, light knock at the door. I whipped my head in the direction, stupidly ignoring the immense pain in my neck and the previous notion of keeping still.

"Uh..." The voice at the door lingered. I recognized it instantly as Jacob's. "Could I- Could I come in?"

I paused before answering. My heart hammered in my chest again, but for a different reason. The thing seemed to have disappeared.

I got to my feet and dashed to my mirror quickly, thinking, 'See? It was just your imagination.'

My hair was a mess. I tried to smooth it out, but it barely helped the situation, so I went to trying to fix the sweater that somehow gotten to the extreme of lopsided on my shoulders.

"Y-yeah." I called back, but didn't think I was loud enough until the door creaked open slowly.

Jake walked in, unnecessarily closing the door behind him. He knew that my parents could probably still hear him, so I assumed it was just habit.

He looked disturbed, like he had seen something he rather wouldn't have. The expression was familiar, and after a quick thought, I realized it was the exact same expression everyone had been looking at me with since that morning; that look that said they knew something I didn't. That look that said he thought I was going to die or something.

"Hey." He greeted softly.

"Hi." I tried to force on a smile. He saw right through it but didn't comment.

"How are you feeling?" He asked after a short pause.

'Don't say it as it is.' I reminded myself, saying aloud "Decent."

He cocked an eyebrow. I looked down.

My voice didn't come out exactly as strong as I'd hoped. Behind my back, I clenched my fists. I hated the fact that I couldn't even speak properly- I never could. But then again, there wasn't much I could ever do. I was an excuse for a "half-breed" and wondered often, besides choice of diet or speed, what really differentiated myself that much from being completely human. I mean, the way I gave myself away so obviously al the time...

"I heard..." He began quietly after a few seconds, "I heard you haven't been doing that great."

'Of course he did.' I thought. In this family, everyone knew about anything that occurred within the hour. I guess that's what happens when your father is a mind reader, your uncle knows your every emotion and can manipulate them, your grandfather is a doctor who probably knows more than the whole collective conscience of every doctor out there, and news travel as fast as they can run- which is pretty fast.

I took a deep breath. A wave of heat ran over me. I swore I was about to pass out and it wouldn't be the first time. I could tell that Jacob saw this by the way that he moved closer ever so slightly and tensed.

I realized I hadn't said anything, which wasn't going to help my situation. I saw in his expression that he was stuck in a thought.

I tried to make my voice louder; to convince him that I really was fine, but that proved more difficult in practice than in theory. My eyes drew toward the ground again. All that escaped from my mouth was a feeble "I can cope."

Oh, that was another beautiful thing about being what I was- While it was part of my family's nature to be able to completely shut off the display of their emotions, I couldn't even look at Jacob eye to eye- let alone convince him that the weakest link was okay.

I heard him shuffle and took the chance to glance up at him. He shoved his hands in his pockets but I could still see the vague shape of balled up fists. I tried to speak again, to try and reassure him, but he sighed loudly. His eyes bore into mine and I forgot what I was going to say.

"Can you really?" He asked quietly.

I opened my mouth to respond "yes" but found out that I didn't really understand what he was asking. Was he being sarcastic or was he asking me honestly?

"What... what do you mean?"

"I'm asking you, Renesmee, if you really can cope with all of this on your own."

I tried to think before I opened my mouth. I tore my eyes away from his with difficulty and felt my face take on a hotter note. What was I supposed to respond?

I knew I couldn't, but I wanted to be able to. I wanted to show myself more than anyone else that I really could take care of my own problems. But I quickly realized I couldn't when, once again, I saw something move out of the corner of my eye. I froze and my heart hammered.

I slowly looked up at Jake, and sure enough, it was right there behind him. He didn't notice it as it moved slowly closer to him, its tongue trailing again and a cloud of ash sweeping into my lungs...

I collapsed into a fit of coughs, doubling over myself. My eyes were shut tightly. I felt hands on my back and arms helping me back into a standing position. But when I opened my eyes again, it was gone. There was only Jacob looking nervously at me.

I stepped back and looked wildly around, but it was nowhere to be found.

"Are you-" He started, but couldn't seem to find the words to finish.

I shook my head slightly. My insides went cold.

"Jacob..." I started, and before I could stop myself, I added "I need to tell you something."

Something hit me then: So I wasn't willing to admit to myself that I'd gone insane, but I was perfectly fine admitting it to another person? Or maybe... maybe I just needed someone else- maybe I needed Jacob- to tell me I wasn't.

Amazing, really, how much I depended on other people.

Jacob rearranged his expression so that it was difficult to read. Again, he searched for words, his mouth opening and closing like he wanted to say something.

It was now or never. I had to tell someone, and I couldn't back out now. If I did, I had no clue what would happen to the little sanity I had left. So with one final breath in, I set my gaze on the wall right behind him and began to speak at breakneck speed.

"I've – I've been s-seeing things and I think I'm going crazy, but it all – it all seems so real, and I can't-"

"Whoa, slow down." He interrupted. My heart hammered in my chest. I tore my eyes away from the wall and forced myself to look into his. His stare was piercing. "Start over."

I sighed and looked around me quickly. Why had I opened my mouth? Wouldn't it be better, I thought, to suffer my insanity alone and not drag him down with me? But it was too late to pretend I'd never said anything, so I cursed myself silently and tried to continue explaining.

"I've been... um, s-seeing things lately..."

"When did 'lately' start and what have you been... seeing?" he demanded.

My face burned. I didn't think that this could be that embarrassing.

"T-two or three days ago- I can't really remember." I explained and mumbled, "It's hard to separate the days from the nights..."

There was a pause, and his voice dropped to a lower volume. "Why didn't you tell me?"

I swallowed.

"Well, I thought it was just the medication," I admitted. He frowned. "I didn't think-"

I had no idea I was shaking until I was wrapped in Jacob's arms. My head was pressed up against his chest. I took in many slow, rattling breaths, trying to get a hold of myself. I wasn't very successful and continued trembling violently.

"Calm down," he murmured, "It's okay. Now, what exactly did you see?"

"I- I don't know!" I said, my voice muffled in his shirt.

After all, I'd never looked straight at it. So I settled for the best way of explaining that I could.

I leaned away from him as far as I could to yank my arm out of his grip. He loosened up a little as I pressed the tips of my fingers up against his face.

It felt like both of us were frozen as what I had seen in the past few days flooded into his mind. They way it moved, the cloud of ash sweeping along with it, the way its tongue slithered like a snake ready to attack... the way it touched my skin with that piercing, burning feeling.

Suddenly I felt like I was dropped back to Earth. I opened my eyes to find that there was a definite gap between Jacob and I. He looked mortified, worried and disgusted. He didn't move and held completely still, his muscles tensed, just as I had when I had first seen it.

"What- What the hell was that?"

I shook my head.

"I don't know."

And although I was curious myself, something inside me told me I wouldn't want to know.

Sorry for the wait. Exams are coming up and, well, yeah. I'll try my best to update ASAP. Now, if you would be so kind- REVIEW! :D