A/N: Okay, so I know that it has been about a week since I last updated. I am soooo sorry. I have been packed with homework, and my sister anounced that she and her husband are now adding a new member to their family (yay!) So this is the next chapter. As always review! And then review some more!
Disclaimer: If they were mine, I would have probably gone to the Emmy's. Sadly I just watched them instead.
It had officially been five hours in the waiting room, and even though it may seem odd, everybody was too tired to sleep. It was about 3:00 in the morning, and it was pretty quiet.
"Hey, Elliot," Fin said out of nowhere, "how many vacation days do you have?"
"I don't know, maybe a couple of weeks. Why?"
"You ever gonna use them?"
"I don't know."
"You should," Fin stated. The conversation was completely meaningless, but it did one of two things. First, it kept them busy. Second, they were too tired to even comprehend what the other was saying, so it didn't matter anyway.
Suddenly, the ER room door opened, and out came a very tired and overworked looking doctor. He had blue scrubs on and a clipboard grasped in his hand. He didn't look happy.
It took the group a minute to realize that he was heading over to them. Throughout the night, doctors had come in and out, but they were always for other people.
"Hi, I'm Dr. Keane. Is there an Elliot Stabler over here," he said looking at his clipboard. Elliot bolted out of his seat and walked over.
The doctor looked at him, "You're stated here as Olivia Benson's next of kin."
Elliot was a little shocked to realize he was, but then again, he stupidly remembered the horrible things he had said to her in their fight, of how she didn't have anyone. He felt like he wanted somebody to smack him for that.
"Yeah," Elliot stated, "yeah, I'm her next of kin. What's going on?" By now, everyone else was standing next to him.
"Well, the good news is that she is out of surgery," the man took a deep breath and sighed. He was going to say this quick and simple. "The bullet nicked her aorta, and barely missed any major organs. However, by the time she came here, she had lost a lot of blood."
The doctor took another deep breath and continued. "We gave her a transfusion, but the blood loss deprived her brain of oxygen for a little while." The doctor braced himself for his next sentence. "I'm afraid that she has been put into somewhat of a comatose state."
Elliot stuttered, "Sh-she's in a coma?"
"Now the truth," he continued, "is that right now, she isn't exactly breathing on her own. We incubated her." He looked at their lost faces. "However, the good news is that she is not in an irreversible state. She can still make a full recovery and wake up. The only problem -"
"The only problem?" Elliot said cutting him off in disbelief.
The doctor needed to choose his words carefully here; he didn't want to get on a cop's bad side. "The only problem," he restated, "is that if she doesn't awaken within the next couple of weeks or so, there is a chance that she will go into shock and multiple organ failure."
Dr. Keane clinched as he saw all of the mouth's drop open, but he quickly stated, "If you guys would like to see her, she is ready for visitors."
The doctor didn't know how else to put it. He had worked 37 hours so far, and he was too tired to try to be nice about the situation. After a minute had passed without a response from any of the five people in front of him, he matter-of-factly stated, "She is in room 216 on the third floor."
Casey was the only one who responded this time, even though she seemed out of body when she said it.
"Thank you, Dr. Keane." Relieved that someone had said something, he nodded his head and walked through the doors.
Casey then picked up her purse from the floor and looked at the other men.
"I guess we should head up to see her," Casey said. She didn't have any emotion in her voice. She was simply feeling what everyone else was – denial and shock. She headed for the elevator doors as the rest followed.
However, Elliot literally needed a push from Cragen. He was still looking at the ER doors.
"Elliot," he said, "come on." Cragen took his arm and squeezed it, taking Elliot out of the daydream he was having. They all quietly crammed into the elevator, and as the doors closed, it was as if each one of them was suddenly feeling a part of themselves close with it.
The third floor was cold, empty, and quiet. Each door they passed by had someone lying in it, or the memory of someone lying in it. With each breath they took, they shared the same thoughts and feelings as those memories. And with each step that they were willing to take, they somehow realized that they were no longer a squad, no longer a unit, they were a family.
They got to room 216, and before anybody entered into the room, they looked through the glass. Fin was the first to walk in, followed by Casey, Munch, Cragen, and Elliot stood in the doorway. Nobody talked. The heart monitors stood around Olivia, as a big and hideous tube was shoved in her mouth. Casey came up and grabbed her hand, as Munch took off his glasses.
Everything felt so odd to them. They wanted to crack a joke. They wanted to laugh at the situation because it wasn't really. It couldn't be real. This woman lying in front of them was tough, and kind, and generous. And she didn't deserve this.
Casey was the first to say something. "I feel like I'm in an asylum, maybe we should bring some plants in here or something."
Cragen walked up next to Casey, "Yeah, plants would look nice." He put his hand on Casey's shoulder because he could tell that tears were springing to her eyes. She turned and looked him at him as he repeated, "Plants would look really nice."
Munch jumped in, "Do you guys know her favorite kind of plant? Or was she a dog person?" He said somewhat sarcastically. Munch wasn't equipped to deal with this type of agony. He knew jokes and sarcasm were definitely not the right place right now, but what else could he say? No one held it against him, though. They knew him well enough.
"I don't know what her favorite flower is," said Casey, slowly, still holding Olivia's hand.
Fin turned towards the door, "Hey Elliot, what's Olivia's favorite flow-" Fin turned to see that nobody was at the door. Elliot wasn't in the room at all, in fact.
Fin faced Cragen, "Where'd Elliot go?"
Cragen sighed, "He's fine," even though he knew it wasn't.
Elliot was almost jogging down the hallway of the hospital. He took the stairs and ran outside. When he got there, he took huge breaths. He bent over and put his hands on his knees. He couldn't breath. He was hyperventilating.
"Oh, God," he kept saying. "Oh, God. Oh, God."
Elliot couldn't understand it. She was supposed to be okay. Olivia was always okay. She shouldn't be in a coma. She was Olivia. His person. The one he came to. The one he depended on. The one he talked to. Bitched to. Laughed to. Cried to. Smiled to.
And just know, it was like the worst feeling he had ever had. He physically couldn't breath. Elliot slowly breathed through his nose and out through his mouth. Inhaling. Exhaling. Inhaling. Exhaling.
As his heart rate slowed down, he cleared his mind. Inhaling. Exhaling.
Suddenly, his phone rang. He quickly picked it up without checking the ID.
"Stabler," he said with one of his hands still on his knees.
"Elliot? Hey, it's Kathy." She was at her dining room table, in the middle of a cup of Coffee. It was about 4:30 now, but she got up that early anyway.
"Oh, hi."
"Elliot, listen, I just saw what happened. Where are you?"
"I'm," he almost forgot himself, "I'm at the hospital."
"Yeah, of course you are," she sighed in somewhat relief. "I'm just glad you're okay. How's Olivia?"
Kathy felt somewhat akward asking. It was touchy ground. And of course she had seen the horrific video on the news. She hadn't talked to Elliot in days, and these were probably the worst circumstances to be calling him under. She had no idea what to say to him. They weren't like how they were when they first met.
And now, one of his closest friends had gotten shot, and the video of it was replaying on every news station across the country. What can you say to that?
"Oli-" Elliot had a hard time saying her name. "Olivia, isn't doing that well."
"Is she out of surgery?" Kathy asked calmly.
"Yeah. She's in a coma, Kathy."
Kathy was in the middle of sipping her coffee, and spit it all out the moment he said that. No way was she expecting that.
"She's in a coma?"
Elliot cleared his throat, not wanting to discuss it. "Yeah, listen Kath, I've got to go."
"Um, okay," she said biting her lip.
Elliot flipped his phone closed, and rubbed his hand on his temple. He walked over to one of the nearby benches and sat down. Damn, it had been such a long day.
As if on queque, his cell phone rang again.
"Listen, Kathy, I said I couldn't talk right-" Elliot started saying.
"Elliot, it's Lake," he said a little confused.
"Oh, what is it?"
"I just got off the phone. I wanted to tell you that Tom Crin died at 4:02 this morning."
Elliot couldn't help but have a small curved smile form. He felt guilty in a way, but he was in someway relieved.
"I guess Olivia had good aim," continued Lake. "How is she by the way?"
"She's been better."
"I'm sorry to hear that. Listen, Elliot, are you outside?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Well, I tried calling the Captain, but I couldn't get a hold of him. I guessed his phone was off since he was in the hospital. You're the only person I've been able to reach."
"I was just getting some fresh air." Elliot didn't know why he said that. He didn't feel like he needed to justify his actions to Lake.
"So you aren't with the Captain?"
"No, Lake. I'm not," Elliot said with a little annoyance. "Why?"
"Nothing, I just have to go to an appointment at six, but nobody is here to cover for me. Do you think I could get one of the rookies to do it?"
Elliot suddenly thought, "but you are a rookie." He kept that comment to himself. Instead, out of no where, he replied, "I'll cover for you."
"Elliot, I can't ask you to do that. Olivia should have you at the hospital with her. She's you're partner."
"No, it's fine. I'll be there in twenty minutes." He hung up the phone before Lake could reply. Why did he do that? Maybe if he kept busy at work, then he wouldn't have to face this right now. He just needed some space. He couldn't handle this. That room, with her in it. Not right now.
He got into his car. Maybe this never happened. Maybe when he walks into the squad room, everybody will already be there. Munch will be bitching about the government. Fin will be throwing paper balls. Cragen will be yelling at Lake. Casey will walk in with her briefcase. And Olivia will be there, sitting at her desk across from his. She'll look up and smile at him.
Yes, that's what will happen when he walks through the door.
And thus started the road through Elliot's denial.
A/N: Okay, so review!