Finally the confrontation is here. This was one of the chapters I feared the most. Trying to resolve an argument so serious, knowing that each of them has her own reasons and that both of them cannot change who they are... ouch... hard task... I hope I did them (and this situation) justice although this is barely the first step in a journey of compromise. If Rachel and Quinn, in this story, want to have a future, they will have to meet each other half way...

Thanks a lot to Dee who took the time to "argue" with me over one word. But it was a very important one so... you are an amazing beta reader :))

Quinn's eyes darted to the door when she heard it opening. She was sitting on the couch, hugging her own leg. The house was completely silent and every tiny noise seemed to echo within the empty rooms.

"Hey." Rachel walked in and sat down on the couch in front of her.

Quinn's stomach sank when she noticed how rested and calm she looked. It was something past 5pm and up until then she had had a hell of a day: she had fought with her best friend and lost herself in thoughts she didn't like to have. She was tired, angry, depressed, feeling guilty and regretful at the same time. And here sat, Rachel Berry, looking absolutely gorgeous, perfect hair and shiny eyes and... just look at her! A goddess in flash and bones. How could she even be like this? Why wasn't she wrecked like Quinn was, torn inside out from their first real fight?

"I didn't know if you were coming back last night. Or if, even."

Quinn's aloof statement was meant not to give away any of those feelings she was bottleing up inside. The worry of not knowing where Rachel was, the anger of being left in the uncertainty of it all and, of course, the topic of their fight itself. Then there came the regret for this whole situation they ended up in… this crossroad of their once beautiful relationship. And there also was the tiredness, dripping from her voice, as she fought to keep at bay the headache that came from crying herself to a restless sleep the night before, and the nightmares that came with that.

"I slept at Juliet's. I didn't... I wasn't..." Rachel worried her lower lip. So much for having rehearsed her come back home scene. "I just thought it was better that way."

Quinn's stomach clenched as her mind spun with horrible images of Rachel and Juliet, her previous sub and her lover. Long red hair entangling with Rachel's as they sank down on a bed, hands exploring their naked skin. Quinn looked away, closing her eyes.

"It was so kind of her to let me sleep on her couch, although I'd rather not repeat the experience. I haven't slept at all."

Quinn silently thanked Rachel for saying that out loud and stopping the images in her head. Did she do it on purpose? Did she know that mentioning Juliet's would trigger something in her, so deep inside, so new, like she never felt before for anybody else? Did she know that the thought of them together made her feel jealous?

"You seem fine though." Quinn tried to sound casual.

"That's because I'm an actress. I can fake being wellif I have to."

"And do you have to? Do you have to fake being well when you're with me?"

"I needed to for myself." Rachel stated calmly. "To make me believe I was ok and I could handle this conversation reasonably calm and with logic to the end."

Quinn shivered but she controlled herself breathing deeply and forced a mask upon herself, the one she usually had when she faced dominants and their claims.

"We have to talk Quinn. We're definitely doing something wrong here, and we have to fix this."

And there it was. Quinn could sense the threatening words in the air, the sentence waiting to be uttered: Rachel was going to make a point about submission and every shred of hope she had about them would be ripped to pieces.

"Fine." Her voice betrayed her, coming out more cracked than she would want. She kicked herself for showing such weakness and looked up determined to show Rachel, and herself, that she wasn't going out without a fight "But before we begin I have to warn you that if you're looking for an apology you will be disappointed: do whatever you want, I'm simply not going to say that I'm sorry for giving that asshole what he deserved during the party. Not now, not ever."

Rachel pinched her nose. Smooth start huh?

"Ok."

Quinn's eyebrows rose up in surprise. "Ok?"

"Well, you're not going to apologize and you obviously have your reasons. I'm not going to force you to do anything so... yes. Ok."

Quinn studied Rachel. She had an habit of being prepared for everything, but the brunette had a habit of her own, being able to read right through her and making all her precautions and preparation useless.

Did Rachel sense she was not going to give up on this? Did she give up? Was it a power game? A mind trick? Reverse psychology? What did jus happen?

"I'm sorry, though", Rachel continued "that you didn't look for me that night. Don't you know I would have done anything to keep him away from you if I had known he was getting under your skin?"

"I don't need protection, Rachel. I know how to take care of my own business."

"But that's the point, Quinn, you don't have to! That's what being in a relationship means: that you don't have to deal with this on your own! For once, just once, Quinn, I wish you would rely on me, trust me. I'd love to be there for you but it's a tough job trying to always guess what's on your mind. I wish I could trust you to tell me what's bothering you so we can deal with it together."

Somehow Rachel's words made sense.

Would have been different if Rachel was there, next to her while Raphael was upsetting her? Would have she stopped herself? Would Rachel have stopped her? Would have she taken up the fight with Raphael?

"I can't let someone else do the that instead me." Quinn started quietly. It was a matter of pride, yes, her pride, the one and only thing she swore to protect on the day she was sorted as submissive. "It's not how it works. I fight my own battles."

"So much for compromise, Quinn." Rachel sighed. That woman was a stubborn one, that was for sure. "I wouldn't dare to get in your way, but you're not stupid and you know that there are some things that you, as a slave, cannot do."

"Are you offering to do those things on my behalf?"

"I didn't think I needed to offer mdoing them myself. I thought it was implicit when I said that I loved you that I would always be there for you. At least that's what I implied."

Quinn's jaw moved back and forth nervously. The previous night she had contemplated what Rachel would say when she would get back home but the conversation wasn't going as she had imagined.

"I know I'm a slave, Rach. I know there are some things I'm not supposed to do, say, or even think, but that never stopped me before."

"And look how good that turned out: it got you in a lot of trouble."

"Which I don't regret." she pointed out. "I've always acted like a free woman, and I'm not gonna stop now."

"See? That's the point, I don't want to stop you, I just want to protect you from the consequences of your actions! Let me do the heavy lifting, let me kick the assholes for you." Rachel's voice was almost pleading now. "I don't want to see you suffer the consequences of your reckless actions, I really don't, so you can say I want it for myself, because that's what it really is. I can't stand the thought of you being punished or disciplined for something I could have prevented."

"You'd rather be you the one who disciplines me, right?"

It hurt Rachel, the cold tone in Quinn's voice and the stern look she gave her. She was scared to go there but, like Juliet told her, if they kept on avoiding the topic it would eventually eat them alive.

"I'm a domme, Q, you've always known that, and I'm not gonna lie to you: I've had subs, I've chained, tied, whipped, spanked, restrained them and I've enjoyed it. But I've never forced anyone and sure as hell I'm not gonna force you. Yesterday I..." she bit her lower lip "...I've lost it. I'm ashamed to say it, because I should know better, I know, but I was really angry and I let the anger take over me. I acted without thinking, without talking to you first and that was a huge, huge mistake. I apologize for that Quinn."

The blonde stared at Rachel. It was the first time ever that a dominant apologized to her and she wasn't sure how she was supposed to answer that.

"Thanks." She chose the simplest way.

"I hope you know that I don't want to hurt you. Never."

"I know."

"And I hope you know I love you."

Her lips curved upwards but the smile never reached Quinn's eyes. "I know."

"But I'm a domme."

"And I'm..." Quinn hesitated. Words do have the power to define who you are and she wasn't ready to hear her voice saying it out loud. "...yours." She murmured.

"Yes." Rachel scooted closer, tentatively taking Quinn's hands between her own. "For the world outside these walls you may be my slave, but for me you're also my lover, my girl, my beautiful soul mate." She sealed her words with a kiss to Quinn's knuckles. "Can you trust me Quinn? Can you believe that I would never take away your freedom? That I would never force you?"

"Yes." A whisper.

"And can you trust me to have your back when we are outside?"

Quinn sighed. She knew Rachel had the best intentions but there was a hidden question in Rachel's words, and it was the one bothering Quinn: 'Will submit to me fully and behave like a proper slave in the outside world?'

To Quinn Rachel was both a blessing and a torture: she loved and trusted that wonderful woman who took care of her when she was sick and in pain, but she feared the domme and the way she seemed to read her mind. She couldn't reconcile the two images she had: Rachel, domme, domme, Rachel. They were two distincted, separate individuals.

"It's so hard to see who you are, sometimes" Quinn tried to explain, "There is this incredible Rachel that takes care of me with such sweetness and love that it overwhelms me; and then there is the domme. And I don't know what to expect from her."

"We're the same person, Quinn."

She could understand that but she just couldn't feel it. It was hard to force that knowledge through, to make her instincts, that constantly told her not to trust the dominants in her life, accept that.

"I'm not a slave Rachel."

"I didn't ask you that. I asked you if you could trust me. Can you believe that I would protect you to my last breath?"

"You're good at turning this around." Quinn smiled sarcastically.

"But that's all it is, in the end: you and me." Rachel tilted her head. "If we work we can make everything else work too." Rachel's eyes met hers hesitantly. There was something childishly hopeful in that look, the way she waited for Quinn's answer like her life depended on it.

Was she ready to at least give it a try? Could she submit, just for Rachel, just for the outside world, knowing that giving in to Rachel didn't mean losing herself but just giving herself to the person who cherished her the most?

"Yeah." Another whisper.

Rachel supressed a smile, a warm feeling spreadi inside her chest . She felt incredibly proud to be the one Quinn trusted this much.

"Thank you." she reached for her cheek to caress it. "I won't let you down, I promise."

Quinn cupped her face and pulled Rachel up to her. It meant to much to the blonde woman that a domme, that Rachel, asked for her trust, that all her anger and regrets melted away.

"I didn't want to make you look bad, I hadn't even thought about it. I didn't want to embarrass you or..." She felt it was her turn to come clean and try to explain her behavior because the previous night, just like the brunette, she let her anger and fear take over "this whole belonging thing... I had to answer only to myself before..."

"It's ok."

"No, it's not. Like I said I would do it again and again, but I've never meant for my actions to weight on you."

"But they do, Quinn. We're an item and everything you do reflects on me, as much as everything I do reflects on you."

"I'm sorry I didn't call for you."

"And I'm sorry I didn't think through what I was doing."

Quinn pulled her even closer until their lips brushed. Rachel waited to see if Quinn would be the one to make the first move. The blonde seemed to weight the decision, hoping Rachel would be the one to do that, as she almost did every time, but she also knew that, this time, Rachel wouldn't. It was another one of her mind games, the ones that drove Quinn crazy. She always made sure that, in the important moments, Quinn was the one to make a choice. It made her feel free and, at the same time, it weighted her with the burden of responsibility because whatever road she decided to take it was her decision and her decision only. She couldn't let anybody take the blame for what would have come of it.

And she decided to go for it, sucking in Rachel's upper lip.

Side note. As of now I've lost chapters for about 20.000 words because I don't keep backup copies of my work when I use cloud services online (yeah, yeah, I know... I'm a trusty person, ok? I always think that one is enough when you have it on google drive... anyways). I've talked to the tech support and they hope they will be able to help me in a few days. Keep your fingers crossed (mine have been for a few days now...) because I really don't want to write all that stuff all over again! See you soon, I hope :)