A/N: Just a little teaser to make up for technical difficulties. Hope you enjoy it! Thanks for reading and following and favs! Bioware owns nearly everything.

Garrus watched the commander hoist herself into the shuttle. She didn't seem like herself today. She was slow to react, barely missing the bullets flying at her, sometimes not even moving until after one or two hit her. This mission was particularly hard on her it seemed. She rested her head in her hands as the shuttle took them back to the ship. The sag of her shoulders concerned him nearly as much as the grey circles under her eyes. She looked like hell. She straightened up and rolled her shoulders. She caught his gaze and gave him a weary smile. He nodded and her smile faltered. With an unspoken communication, he knew to meet her in her room back on the ship.

It took longer than he liked to get everything taken care of back on the Normandy. He had stripped and cleaned his weapons and armor, stabilized the main guns and dug out his clean set of causal clothes. Almost two hours after they docked, he climbed into the elevator and rode it up to her private floor. His stomach knotted when the door slid open. She was sitting on the couch with her feet up on the table in her favorite yoga pants and a blue tank top.

"Hey, Garrus."

"Hey."

"So what's up?"

"You took a couple pretty bad hits down there."

"I take a few of those everywhere I go. What's the worry?" She twisted to face him.

"You could have easily dodged these, Shepard. What's going on? Frankly, you look terrible."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"I'm serious." He folded his arms over his chest.

She sighed, "I'm just not sleeping well these days."

"Maybe because it's hot as hell in here."

"I like it. I'm always cold."

That struck a chord with him. He went down the stairs and sat next to her, "Is that what this is about?"

"I'm afraid I don't know what you are talking about."

"Shepard."

She huffed, "What?"

"You know damn well what."

She sat forward and hung her head. "I'm so damn tired, Garrus."

"There's this thing, I think it's called 'sleep'. I hear it can help with that."

She tilted her head so she could give him a cockeyed smile, "Right."

"Having trouble with it?"

"A bit. Too bad I can't just shoot it."

"Is that your plan for everything?"

"Just about."

"So what are you planning on doing since this isn't something you can put a bullet in?"

"I'm doing it now."

"Denial mixed with plenty of bad hits?"

"Very funny."

"I just call it like I see it."

She rubbed the back of her neck, "Was it really that bad?"

Garrus put a taloned hand on her shoulder, "If it wasn't would I be here bothering you about it?"

"I guess not." Shepard shook her head and leaned back, "I just don't know what to do anymore."

"Talk to me, Shepard."

"What do you want me to say? That I'm falling apart at the seams? That I can't handle losing two years of my life because I died? That every time I close my eyes the darkness sends me into a panic?" She stood and paced, "I'm the great Commander Shepard. I can't have break downs. I can't be weak."

"Shepard, you're human." He watched her pace and make wild gestures.

"Not anymore I'm not! I'm nothing but a machine wearing a dead woman's face."

"A machine that knows everything about the woman in question."

"Are you sure about that, Garrus?"

"Yes, I am."

"Why? How can you be so sure?" She stopped pacing and folded her arms, fixing him with a hard look. He didn't flinch.

"A few things. First, even a machine wouldn't blind charge a gun ship. That's becoming your signature, you know. If it's big, charge it! Need I remind you that you are a human not a krogan? Second, your scars. I'm going out on a limb and saying not many people knew about them. You threw yourself at me apologizing for your new ones because of a promise you remembered making. Third, no one else could gather a more disparate group of people and work with them enough that they become friends. Should I keep going?"

"I think I got it, thanks. So I'm still me. Then why don't I feel like it?"

"Why don't we go ask the other person who died and came back?"

"Alright, fine. You made your point." Shepard held her hands up in surrender.

"I get the feeling that you still don't believe me."

"I do, but it doesn't change the way I feel. I've never felt so dead inside before. I used to have purpose and resolve. Now, there's just this overwhelming nothingness."

"You just need to find what you lost."

"No shit, really? Since you seem to have all the answers, where should I look?" She spat sarcastically.

"Maybe you're over thinking. Or looking in the wrong places. How did you expect to feel after you died?"

"I don't know. More spiritual maybe, but no worse off. I didn't really expect to die and come back, you know." She flopped back onto the couch and stared at the ceiling.

"Fair enough. What makes you feel like you again?"

She paused, thinking. "Being with you, going on stupid little fetch missions, getting a clean head shot. Can you believe I miss the Mako?"

"Being with you" . . . Being with me makes her feel alive. . . He shifted more to face her, "Yes, I can believe you miss driving like a maniac in that tank."

She finally smiled, "Hey, I wasn't that bad."

"You made a krogan warlord lose his lunch. You were that bad."

"It's not my fault he had a weak stomach."

"You drove the thing off a mountain and flipped it off of every ridge on the way down!"

"That takes talent."

"Whatever you have to tell yourself, Shepard."

She moved to lean against him. He cautiously put his arm around her shoulders. "Is it really that hot in here?"

"I'm from a very warm planet and I think it's hot in here."

"Why couldn't I tell before, then? I can now."

"You keep asking me like I'm supposed to know."

"I'm sorry. Everything just feels . . . right with you around. It's easy to buy into the illusion that you'll have all the answers."

"I could hang around for a while, if that would make you feel better."

"And here I was worried I'd have to ask." She smiled.

They spent an hour talking about the good old days. Shepard felt more like herself than she had in months. She watched him laugh and make vague gestures to impress a point about the Mako. The side of his face was still bandaged. Her heart dropped when she thought about how he gotten that injury. She was lost in his voice. She was smiling and laughing along with him. A sudden thought hit her like a ton of bricks. I never want this to end. I never want to be without him. There is no Shepard without Vakarian. Oh god. I've totally fallen for him. The conversation lulled and they fell into a comfortable silence.

"Thank you, Garrus." She whispered after a while.

"For what?"

"Always being here."

"That's what friends are for." His heart pounded. She reached for his hand and held it in her own. She closed her eyes and pressed it to her face. He stroked her cheek as softly as he could, being mindful of his sharp talon against her soft skin.

"Friends. After everything we've been through together and we're still friends." She paused. "Is that all we are?"

"I don't know, Shepard."

She opened her eyes and looked into his. He was mesmerized. "Should we even . . ."

"We've done crazier things."

"Yeah, we have."

He tilted his head closer to hers, "How did we . . ."

"Not a clue." Her face was barely an inch from his now, "But I won't complain."

"Me either."