A/N: This is a piece of humor, written by myself and one of my good friends. If the characters are anything like canon, it's probably an accident. We don't own anyone, except Siarl, Jrohest, Lisa and Jo. Enjoy, laugh, and review--else I'll make you eat Eowyn's ice cream!

Aragorn Gets Brainwashed
Chapter 10.34131: The Finale!

Jrohest portalled them back to Numenor.

"Oooh, where are we?" asked a unwelcome and unexpected feminine voice. Otherwise known as Eowyn.

"ARGH. ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH," said Aragorn.

"Oh GREAT," moaned Jrohest.

"Oi," Siarl said. "Let's get this over with. I have to bury the remains of my chess set."

Eowyn backed away from Siarl. "I think he's a little bit crazy."

"And it took you two hours to figure that out?" Jrohest asked. He looked around. "Okay, we're in the courtyard. Someone do something stupid that will get us thrown in a room with Sauron."

"Make Eowyn do it," Aragorn grumbled. "She hasn't risked life and limb yet."

"Are you calling me chicken?" Eowyn demanded. Aragorn coughed meaningfully. "FINE," snapped Eowyn. She stomped over to a random guard named Timmy and stole his rubber chicken.

"HEY!" cried Timmy.

"Nice chicken. I think he'd taste wonderful with a good cheese sauce."

Timmy grabbed back the chicken. "DON'T YOU DARE—DON'T LISTEN TO HER, RUBBIE!"

Eowyn grabbed the chicken away again. "I'm taking this." She promptly ran off.

"Okay, when we said stupid, we didn't mean THAT stupid," observed Aragorn from the sidelines.

"Wow," commented Jrohest.

"Yeah."

Five minutes later they were all thrown in a room with Sauron.

"Wow," said Aragorn, "well, at least it was helpful."

Eowyn smiled smugly.

"You brought a girl with you?" asked Sauron.

"Accidentally."

"How heroic of you."

"Not really."

"That was sarcasm, Denis," Sauron told him.

"Denis?" asked Jrohest.

"Um, yeah, that was my name here," Aragorn told him.

"Oh."

Siarl stepped forward. "Hey, Sauron, do you like ice cream?"

"Ice cream?" asked Sauron, looking clueless.

Aragorn explained: "Yeah—sweet, delicious dessert made with eggs and cream and flavoring…"

"Um."

"It's very good," Aragorn added. When it's not purple and SMOKING, anyway.

"Here, try some." Jrohest shoved the ice cream in Sauron's hands.

Sauron looked at it doubtfully.

Eowyn piped up, "I made it special. Please try it!"

Aragorn moaned and put his hands over his face.

"…" said Sauron. He tentatively ate a spoonful. Eowyn smiled happily. "Ewwwwwwww!" cried Suaron. "GAH! YUCK!" He then passed out.

"It worked!" cried Jrohest happily.

Eowyn sighed. "Why does everyone always faint after eating my food?"

"I'll give you three guesses," Aragorn said dryly. Eowyn smiled beautifully and batted her eyelashes. Aragorn looked sick. Sauron moaned and began to sit up. Quick, Jrohest, brainwash him! Aragorn telepathed Jrohest.

Jrohest complied. "There."

"Oi…" muttered Sauron. "Who are you people…?"

"Um. Bankers," said Aragorn.

"Wha…?" began Suaron.

"Bye," said Jrohest. He portalled them home.

"Lawyers!" cried Aragorn, a bit to late for Sauron to hear. Seeing they were in Lisa's livingroom, he shouted thankfully, "THANK GOODNESS."

Lisa looked up from reading Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy. "Oh. Siarl. You're not dead. Good."

"That was interesting," commented Eowyn. "What did we just do?"

"He's not?" asked Jo, who appeared behind Lisa (she was referring to Lisa's comment that Siarl wasn't dead, not Eowyn's quote). She poked Siarl. "Are you sure?"

Siarl collapsed on the floor in extreme grief. (In incredibly large font, again:) "SHE KILLED MY CHESS SET!" (Larger Font:) "MY LIVE IS OVER!"

"Wow," said Jo.

"Yep. He's alive," said Lisa, going back to reading.

"Drat," muttered Jo.

"I didn't mean to blow up his precious chess set," apologized Eowyn, eyeing Siarl's weeping self nervously.

Lauren, Lisa's little sister, who collected rubber chickens, entered at this moment. "HEY! Where's RC!" she shouted at everyone (RC was her Special Rubber Chicken). "SIARL, DID YOU STEAL RC AGAIN?"

Siarl picked his head off the floor, remembering how he had traded off a Certain Rubber Chicken to find Aragorn. "Oh blast," he muttered.

"Who's RC?" asked Eowyn.

"You don't want to know," Aragorn told her.

Lauren ran at Siarl with one of her many swords. He fled the room.

The End

"Wow," said Lisa. "That was edifying."

"Quite," agreed Jo. "I feel as if my entire life has been profoundly affected by the whole thing."