Chapter Ten: Why

Tris' POV

I feel my hands sweaty when Marlene told me what her plan is. I look at my friends and they are still laughing then my eyes found Uriah who seems okay with the plan but me… I try to imagine it. Me and Uriah as a couple? I mean me and Uriah going to pretend that we're a couple? But we're more of as friends. Better off as friends, in fact, and I doubt that neither Tobias nor Eliza will believe that there's something special between me and Uriah.

"So what do you think, Tris?" Marlene inquires when I've been quiet for a long time.

I scan my friends' faces.

"Uh… it's not that I think it's a bad idea, Marlene but…"

"But?"

"But… what if it doesn't work? What if they wonder how did it happen when since the last few months or last few weeks, I and Uriah didn't even seem like a couple?"

"Oh, Tris, that's not a problem."

Marlene always has plans. When you look at her, the image of a person who doesn't run out of tactics is what you will see. Although a plan sounds impossible, you can expect her to prove you wrong. And I think, in that way, she's a true Dauntless.

"All you guys have to do is to act like it. When your acting is good, they won't question your status anymore. Instead, what they will see is a very happy and a very compatible couple. And then… they will just mind their own business and forget about what happened at the Chasm today. Soon, that hogwash girlfriend of Four will get rid of it and she will realize that she's been so stupid for what she did to you."

Zeke taps his chin. "That sounds like a good idea."

"And exciting. It's not just Tris and Uriah who're going to pretend, guys. But we too. We also have to act like we already knew about their relationship before everyone else and that, we were the only ones who're aware since initiation. But now that initiation is over, it will turn out like Uriah and Tris are already free to act like an actual pair. And like what Marlene said, you just have to act like it. Act well. And they will believe. You're a genius, Marlene." Christina says.

"Yeah, very Erudite of you." Uriah says and it sounds like a tease.

Marlene rolls her eyes on Uriah's direction. "Whatever, Uriah. You are a part of this. So you have to perform well and of course… make Tris feel comfortable."

"Of course I will." Uriah looks at me and smiles. I don't know why this idea seems like a piece of cake to him while in my part, I doubt my acting skills and that I just might screw it up and won't be able to hack it with him. But I just try to smile even just a little. Soon, when we begin playing our roles, who knows that perhaps I might grow comfy and the acting will just come out as natural. Besides, Uriah is my friend. I trust him. I trust him that he wouldn't leave me hanging on a core.

"So… are you convinced already, Tris?" I see Will talks at the corner of my eye.

"It wouldn't be that difficult, I assure you." Marlene says. "And nothing ghastly will occur. You just have to act and that's it."

"But… for how long will we do that?" I ask, wanting to prepare myself if anything turns around.

"When Eliza is done with her suspicions. We'll see how it goes."

"And when do we begin?"

"Hmm… when…" Marlene puts her hands on her waists and stares at the ceiling. But before she could decide, Shauna says her suggestion.

"What about tomorrow? At breakfast? What do you guys think?"

"Tomorrow…" Zeke says.

"But they don't have to be clingy all the time. They just have to act when Four and Eliza are around or neither of them is." Lynn mutters.

"Yeah, right. Tomorrow will be good. I'm pretty sure that they will come at the dining hall. We just don't know if they're going to be together since you know… maybe they had a 'misunderstanding' about the issue… but that doesn't matter! When you see a sign of Four or Eliza coming, and then start doing your part."

"O-okay…" I say. The idea is kind of growing with me…at least. "If it's for the good."

For the good. It echoes in my head. I have to pretend that I'm in correlation with Uriah, who's one of my friends, and I have to avoid coming close to Tobias for the good. Is it going to be uncomplicated? Is what I'm going to do will make me feel better? Or worse, I'd only see the fact more that Tobias doesn't really give a damn about me? Of course. He must hate me now. I can only guess that he and Eliza fought again, argued about that footage the other night. And I can imagine that as they quarreled about it, one of them—or maybe both of them—have mentioned my name. I am involved there so therefore, I'm one of the reasons. Oh correction… I am the reason. What's more, if it happens that they break up and begin avoiding each other again, I'm the only option that they have to blame. Yes, I'm already aware that Eliza hates me. She's never denial of that fact. But to know that Tobias hates me because I have something to do with their disintegration… that's another story. He loves Eliza so much. He's loved her for two years now and ever since I found out that they were together, I already have this prediction that sometime in the future, they will get married and form a family. Why not? During my initiation, I frequently see them being so sweet anywhere. You couldn't find them arguing over things or being apart for too long. They find time to be with each other and when they are, you would really see how in love they are. I've been seeing that for a lot of times now and I've felt a lot of pinch in my heart already but still, I had to conceal it to avoid any conflict, to avoid being a third-party—which, I think is I am now. It has come to this point. And I wouldn't be surprised if Tobias will be staying away from me starting tomorrow or so. Because at the same time, that's what I have to do also. But the painful thing for me here is that we have different objectives of why we need to shun each other.

If I have to stay away so that he and Eliza won't argue about me anymore…

Tobias, on the other hand, has to stay away because…

Because he doesn't want to lose his girlfriend.

I shut my eyes on that thought.

Xxxx

Tobias's POV

Yesterday was sick. A mess. It was rumbled.

When I left Eliza at her apartment last night, I didn't come to think of coming back anymore. And today, I am not planning to drop by her apartment to talk about the same matter again nor asking her to come with me to breakfast. It's just going to be awkward, I can already see it. I've said a lot of things to her yesterday which I've never said before—and those things that came out of my lips were probably what she didn't thought I'd say. But I have not helped myself. I couldn't just stand there and play innocent as if I'm scared to stand up for my insights because what? Because she'd throw things on me, shout at me, and push me out of her door? I've long since learned that in a relationship, you really couldn't avoid that. And sometime in the future, I and Eliza might encounter more of that—probably worse. If we just see things easy on us by the moment when we're not yet reaching the next stage, then how will we face the other challenges coming ahead?

But as of now… well, as you can see…

Out status is unstable. I told her that I'll be giving her time for a while to make up her mind. She might decide if she still wants to continue this relationship or just let go since for a week, we had two misunderstandings. The first one was just 'avoiding one another the whole day' but the second one that followed—which was yesterday—had shouting and all. I believe that we should apart…unless choices aren't made.

When I've done shower and putting on my clothes, I leave my apartment. 7:35 a.m., my watch says. There must be people on the dining hall by now.

I pass by Eliza's apartment but I don't look at it—even just a glance. With hands on my pockets, I just walk along to the hall. Also, I didn't hear anything from there. If I'm not mistaken, she's still on bed or she doesn't have any plan to show up today because of what happened yesterday. Everyone must be talking about her until now since she has burst such anger at the Chasm and I don't think she'd like to hear those whispers. Eliza never liked people talking about her whether she's around or not. So I suspect that she won't get out of her room unless the matter has passed and of course… unless we're not alright.

I walk in the dining hall. Zeke, together with his friends, have come first before me. I just glance at them, not wanting to meet with anyone's gaze but I've caught Zeke's attention before I could completely turn away so he lets out a small smile. I return it. And he goes back to talking with Shauna, who's sitting next to him.

They've fried hotdogs and eggs at the pan on the stove, I notice. But I'm not on the appetite to eat them so I just get myself a plate of toasts and find myself a seat. As I begin eating the first one, I detect that since I came in here, Tris isn't with Zeke and the rest on their table. I try to look for her over their place, at Christina's side but there's no sign of her. Won't she go to breakfast today? Why, then? Probably because… she expects to see me and Eliza this morning and she doesn't want to be the center of attention? But that's not what she did before when Peter, Drew, and Al almost threw her at the railing down to the rocks. The next day after that happening, she went in off the dining hall and has made it until breakfast ends. Although she hasn't moved on yet to what happened to her the night before that day, and although she knew that she would see Peter, she still came; only that she played vulnerable because that's what I told her.

But what if she doesn't come today? What if she's thinking that she has no face to show?

If in five minutes or more that I see no signal of her coming in, then it could mean that she's forgotten about what I told her and that she doesn't reflect to it anymore.

When I'm down to my second toast, I hear someone enters. Quickly, I lift my head to see who is that… oh… who they are.

My brows haul up with what I witness.

Tris and Uriah. Together. Holding hands. Side by side.

Am I… am I seeing this right? Two of my former initiates who don't show any affection like this during initiation are… are being that close to each other? As far as I can remember, they are just friends. Just friends. I've never seen them like that since the last few months, weeks, or days. I rarely see them together; rarely see them holding hands. In fact, they never do that before. I just see it now. They just did it now. What does it mean? Are they a…

"Hey love birds!" I hear Marlene say. "You two didn't come here with us, ha. What are you guys up to previously?"

Previously? What are they previously? The last thing I know, Uriah wrapped his arm around Tris' shoulders yesterday and I believed that it was only a sign of friendship and not anything else. But…I heard it. I just heard it. Marlene called them as "love birds".

I hear Uriah chuckles. "Tris was still sleeping when we're all awoke already. I decided to not wake her up first because she must need more sleep."

"We see… here. Have your breakfasts." Shauna's voice.

So they've been a couple since initiation but aren't just showing it in public? That I'm not certain but it's how it sounds like. I want to look at them right now—even just a glance—but if one of them catches me looking, they might think otherwise. So instead of watching, I just listen to them talk.

And as I do, my awareness has taken off from their chatter. I hear a female voice call my name by the entrance.

I lift my head to see who that is and I smile.

"Lauren," I say.

"Hey Four," she sits reverse from me. "How are you doing? Haven't talked to you for a while."

I pick up a toast. "I know. And I rarely see you around. What are you in to since these days?"

"Well…" I catch her rolling her eyes. "You know it already. During the times that I want to take a break, Eric will call on for assistance as if he's not familiar with everything that goes on at the control room."

I press my lips on the mention of that bastard's name. Lauren spots it.

"And… I do know why he isn't asking for you although your backing is vital at his scheme. That is why I was asking you how you are doing."

From the plate, my eyes move to her way.

"You do know?"

"Yeah, he told me about what happened. He said—"

"I can't believe his mouth still functions after what I did to him. He really has a problem when it comes to shutting his mouth, doesn't he?"

"Hey, it's okay." Lauren pats the back of my hand. "He just got served. After that entire he's done, he must realize that he's caused a muddle."

I raise a brow on Lauren. "You also know about—"

"Yeah. Like what I said, Eric told me about it. And when I've heard about the conflict that occurred between Tris and Eliza… I thought perhaps you'll need a company. And with what I can see right now… you really do need it. Your girlfriend isn't around. Your initiates have their own thing. What do you think you're going to do? Eat breakfast alone? Four, that'll kill you. So I came here. Want to talk about it? Or let's just… leave it behind?"

Lauren removes her hand off of hand.

"I prefer to not discuss about it. My mind's not yet in place. Likewise, by now, I'm not sure where our relationship stands and where does it go after yesterday."

Lauren nods.

"Well… none of us can tell. But I hope I won't see you so upset, Four. I mean…for too long. But at the same time… I…" she hesitates. "I've… I've got to be honest with you that if ever you and Eliza will… uh… end it…"

My eyes straighten on her, on what she's saying. She presses her lips and clears her throat, probably thinking if she'd continue or not but I allow her to do so.

"Go on," I say, sounding casual.

"Uh… if you two end it… like what I'm saying… I would rather be… be… be… glad."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, it's true. But not in the way you think. What I'm just trying to tell you here is that… in my opinion, Eliza isn't… you know… the girl I can picture with you in the future. I'm not being mean here, Four, but… I don't know. We've been in the same class during initiation two years ago but if you could see, I and Eliza have never grown to be so close. We aren't even friends, in fact. And… I don't think things will work out between the two of you for two years more because… well because… your characters don't reflect."

When Lauren has said what she was trying to hold back recently… she seems alleviated. She folds her hands on the table and leans back on the chair, looking at me, waiting for me to response to her honesty which I didn't expect from her when she comes in of this hall.

I take a bite on my last toast.

"Sounds like a Candor talking."

As I say that, I don't sound pissed or angry at Lauren. And I don't why. Should I be scowling at her right now? Should I be telling her, 'You don't have the right to say that because you don't know us.'? But I don't do that. I even seem and sound laid-back.

Then she chuckles.

"I know you don't like smart-mouthed Candors, Four, but I'll take that as a compliment."

And as she laughs, I find myself joining her. Lately I liked the idea of me being alone but now I'm thanking that Lauren has come here to give some entertainment and that she is my friend.

"There you are laughing, that's good to see." She says.

"I need to… apart from the situation."

When I finish all of my toasts, I put the plate aside on the table. I look at Lauren who's stopped talking since we were laughing a while ago. I notice that she's looking at somewhere else already, her arms crossed, and her eyes observing. I just watch her. And as I do, she suddenly beams. I furrow my eyes on her and tilt my head to have her attention back but she doesn't look at me.

"Hey, Lauren" I say.

She just glance at me, her lips still curved into a smile, and goes back to what she's looking at.

"Look at them, Four."

I raise a burrow. "Who?"

"Them."

She locks her eyes on me hard then switch them somewhere… somewhere…

Somewhe—

At Tris and Uriah.

I hear Lauren laughs in amusement. "I didn't know that my initiate and your initiate are a couple. Look how sweet they are."

I don't want to. I just don't want to. But Lauren's eyes are insisting me to do so. It's like if I don't follow her, she will ask me this in an outward way, 'Why don't you like to look? It's just them.' And yes, it's just them. It's just Tris. And Uriah. And there shouldn't be anything else. So I shut my eyes—because I won't be able to turn back—and shift them to Tris and Uriah's direction.

Lauren's correct. How sweet of them.

Uriah pinches Tris' nose and he laughs when she hits his arm playfully. He gets her a glass and pours juice on it from a pitcher then she hands it to her. I see Tris mouths, "Thank you" and bring the edge of the glass on her lips as Uriah leans to her to whisper something in her hear. When she's put down the glass on the table, she giggles to what Uriah told her. And suddenly, as I watch that scenario—of them being so clingy—I feel the same lurch in the stomach that I felt yesterday when Uriah put his arm around Tris's shoulders. I feel my cheeks hot. My jaw tightened. I swallow hard. And I just want to…

To look away.

Lauren sighs. She continues to watch Tris and Uriah while I… I just bow my head.

"They look good together, don't they?" Lauren inquires.

I ignore her.

"Hey, Four. Still there? Am I talking to you?"

I nod.

She released her back on the chair and leans close on the table, her hands in a fold. I can feel her looking at me. I can sense that she can notice something on me—something different. But I have to act like, 'Hey, yeah I'm still here. I'm not just interested with seeing other couples right now because…'

"Are you alright?" she asks.

I lift my head to see her smiling. Why is she smiling? What is there to smile for?

"What?" I ask.

"What is that, Four?"

I narrow my eyes. "What do you mean?"

She snorts. I really don't get her.

"Stop acting like I didn't see it. Tell me. What was that?"

I swallow hard…again. Lauren looks at me as if there is no escape, as if there's a Candor on her. That if I say that it's 'nothing' she will demand 'You're lying!' and will you imagine how embarrassing that would be?

When I say nothing, I hear her laugh.

"I was just saying that Tris and Uriah look good together. What's the matter with that? I mean look at them. They are so—"

"I know, I already saw it."

She tilts her head, observing me. I meet her gaze and tries to stay there—thinking maybe if I do, she will stop suspecting me about something… whatever is it. A lot of people said before that I'm difficult to read so Lauren couldn't read me by now. Well… I hope. I hope she wouldn't mull over my ears which are red. They feel hot.

"You sound annoyed I'm just telling you to look at them."

And she watches them again.

"They look cute."

I can't stand my ears. I wish I can just stand up from this chair without being rude and just walk out without leaving Lauren with wonder what made me go. But the more I stay in this seat, the more I hear Lauren's comments about Tris and Uriah, the more I want to do it.

The more I want to walk out.

"Hey, Four" she calls again.

I don't look.

"Four,"

And finally, I look at her.

"What?" If before, I try to sound casual with that word, now I couldn't bear to sound cold.

Lauren smirks at me.

"Don't play too obvious."

I let out a hysterical laugh expecting it will cover the 'obvious' that Lauren is talking about but it pretty seems like it doesn't work with her. She still shoots me with that look—that look that states something—that look that makes me feel anxious.

"So what are you saying?" I ask.

She raises a brow on me and says the words that I've been expecting to hear from her.

"I know that you're jealous. You better hide it."

A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews that I received yesterday and for the last few days. They encourage me to write more : )

And by the way, December starts tomorrow…

I hope you guys have a wonderful start! Christmas is coming in few weeks! Yay!

-Iris