CHAPTER 10: The Wedding

A whole month passed since Morgana's accident, and according to the doctors, she made a very quick recovery. They did forbid her to dance for another month because of the broken ribs, though, but on days when the cabaret was closed, she would sneak inside and dance until she could no longer breathe. Dancing was everything to her and Morgana was never known as one who plays by the rules. She didn't have any idea how else to spend the days off since she distanced herself from everyone, except for Merlin. Morgana didn't want to see Arthur or Guinevere or Uther, or anyone else, she didn't want to talk to any of them. Her excuse was that she was tired and needed rest, and none of them bothered her – they only wished for their Morgana to get better as soon as possible and join them at the cabaret again.

But she couldn't rest even if she wanted to – all Morgana thought about was who her real father was. During the first couple of days, she felt like her heart was going to burst out of her chest because of the anger and betrayal she felt, and then as she recovered, the anger seemed to disappear altogether with the pain. She was no longer angry, just bitter. Morgana desperately wanted to tell someone about it, she wasn't sure how long she could keep it just to herself. But who was she supposed to trust? What if the whole cabaret knew except for her? No, of course no one else knew, Uther wouldn't let that. She couldn't be certain about anything any more, except for one thing - Morgana promised she will not forgive Uther for hiding the truth from her for so long, and she never did.

Time seemed to fly by fast at King's Cabaret, and so June arrived, and with that – the wedding everyone talked about. Guinevere and Lancelot's wedding was only a week away, and cabaret was filled with excitement and anticipation. Both Guinevere and Lancelot decided to have their wedding party at the cabaret since that had been where they had met, and so they thought it was the most appropriate place to celebrate with their friends and family. Arthur was more than happy to help with the wedding, which surprised Merlin quite a lot considering most of the time Arthur liked to sit and watch people do stuff that he was too lazy to do himself. But for Arthur, helping with the wedding meant a lot more than just helping his best friend prepare for the biggest day of his life – it meant letting go and learning to be happy for the people around him. It was a new feeling for him, but he liked it. On the day of the wedding, Arthur decided to visit the cabaret while it was still empty and make another last minute check. But even before he entered inside, he heard Merlin's familiar voice. Arthur was still used to his extraordinary abilities. If anyone asked him though, Arthur would always say Merlin's voice was average, of course.

"They're writing songs of love, but not for me,
A lucky star's above, but not for me,
With love to lead the way,
I found more clouds of grey,
Than any Russian play could guarantee."*

"Final rehearsals for tonight?" He asked him once Merlin finished the song.

"Something like that, yes." Merlin replied and climbed down the stage

"It's a lovely song, actually." Arthur commented and offered him a drink, he knew Merlin was going to decline, but he still asked.

"It's easy to write the song when you've known the people you're writing about for a while."

"Wait, you're telling me you wrote that?" Arthur asked in disbelief.

"Is it that surprising?" Merlin said, ignoring the slight warmth in his cheeks.

"I didn't know you could write songs, that's all." Arthur replied. "Do you have any other hidden talents I do not know about? Maybe you work as a juggler as well?"

Merlin rolled his eyes, but decided not to fight the smile forming on his lips. "No other hidden talents, no."

"I don't say this often, not to many people anyway, but you are pretty good." Arthur said and finished his drink. "The songwriting, I mean. You can feel free to perform them, just something faster than this, we don't want our guests to fall asleep, of course."

Merlin ignored his comment and said, "I don't like sharing my songs, so I don't think that would work out."

"Why not?"

"I just…don't feel comfortable sharing my thoughts with so many people." He said. "What I'm doing for Gwen and Lancelot is an exception, but no one has heard any of my songs before, not even Gwen."

"I guess I should feel honored then, that I got a peek at what's going in our Merlin's head." Arthur chuckled, although he was joking. Arthur felt like he didn't even know Merlin at all. He never shared anything about himself, and only Gwen knew him the best. On the other hand, Arthur respected his wish to keep his life to himself, but there were moments when he felt like he didn't even know the boy he hired just months ago.

"Oh, definitely honored." Merlin nodded and let out a small laugh. He realized suddenly that it was the first time the two had an actual conversation that didn't involve any arguing or insulting.

A couple of moment had passed before Arthur finally moved his gaze away from Merlin and said, "Well, I will let you continue rehearsing, I just came here to see if everything's ready." He stood up from the stool and headed to the door. "I'll see you tonight, then." Arthur said, and with that he left Merlin alone in the empty cabaret.

Later that evening, during the wedding reception at the cabaret, everyone seemed to be in a good mood and having fun. The freshly married couple danced away the night, both Guinevere and Lancelot looked stunning, both glowing with happiness. Guinevere wore a long, creamy dress that gave an accent to her tiny figure but still didn't show too much skin. Arthur was busy making sure he didn't have to encounter his father, or Marianne for that matter, so he stayed behind the bar half the evening, Merlin was the main performer and spent most of the night on the stage, and since Morgana was forbidden to have any major activities, she was sitting on one of the tables and playing with the untouched piece of cake on her plate.

"Your thoughts?" Merlin joined Morgana at the table when he finished performing.

"Nothing in particular, just how fast time goes by." She replied with a small smile.

"I meant about the song I wrote for Gwen and Lancelot." Merlin said, smiling at her widely.

"Oh-oh, it was amazing, I loved it!" She blushed, she wasn't even paying any attention to Merlin's performance, and Morgana's mind was on one thing only−for the past couple of weeks.

"It's alright; I noticed you drifted away half-way through my performance, what's wrong?" He asked.

Morgana thought that's my chance to tell him, to lift the weight off her chest. But no words came out, her green eyes were simply fixed on Merlin, looking for a sign that it would be alright to tell him, that her secret – Uther's secret would be safe with him. She didn't care about Uther, but she didn't want anyone to know yet, Morgana wanted to be the one to tell the world about her father's sins.

"What's wrong Morgana?" Merlin repeated. "You can trust me, you know you can."

"It's—it's just that I've had a really tiring day." She finally said, biting her lips as if to stop herself from saying anything else.

"I see." Merlin said, sounding rather disappointed for some reason. He didn't know how, but he could sense Morgana wasn't telling the truth− it was the way she avoided his eyes when she spoke. "Well, I guess this week has been quite stressful for you as well," Merlin continued. "How many times did she call you? Twenty? Fifty times?" He chuckled, and Morgana couldn't help but do the same as well. It was what Merlin did, maybe he was quiet most of the time, and didn't talk about his feelings other than on paper, but he managed to have this influence on people, to make them cry for his performance, or make them laugh at his silly jokes.

They were interrupted by Arthur− who tapped his glass of champagne with a fork in order to get everyone's attention on him, and spoke up. "I wasn't sure how to start this speech, I tried writing one but nothing came to me, so I simply decided to go with whatever comes to my mind." He started and several people laughed. "I've known both Lancelot and Guinevere for quite some time now, and they are one of my closest friends. When I heard that they got engaged I wasn't surprised, but at the same time, I was stunned by how fast they were moving forward." Arthur said, taking a short glance at the couple. "It was like they knew they belonged to each other for their whole lives, they just waited for the right moment to tell the world about it, and I truly admire that. I admire their love for each other, and their loyalty. When Lancelot asked me to be his best man – I couldn't be more ecstatic about it, because I knew that I was going to be the best man of the most beautiful couple in all of Britain, and I know that that is what the best man is supposed to say in his speech, but I really mean it." He said, no one even dared to make a sound, everyone's attention was on Arthur, only his voice echoing in the cabaret. "I hope that the same luck and happiness will follow me and Marianne." When Arthur finished his speech and proposed a toast to the newly married couple, the music started again and everyone followed Guinevere and Lancelot to the dance floor.

Merlin wanted to continue his conversation with Morgana from earlier, but once again they were interrupted.

"Hey, you two!" Guinevere shouted for them from the dance floor. "Drag your backsides over here," She laughed. "I want the two of you dancing on my wedding!"

"Sometimes she can't help but be too-demanding." Lancelot shook his head apologetically as he kissed his wife's cheek.

"Well, the bride has requested our presence on the dance floor." Merlin said. "May I have this dance, my lady?" He asked Morgana.

"You know dancing is in my blood, I would never say no to that question." She replied and they both joined Guinevere and Lancelot.

In the early hours of the morning the wedding party was finally coming to its end. There were still a few people left, some still dancing, others at the bar drinking or finishing the wedding cake. Arthur was in Marianne's company, she was continuously laughing about something that Arthur was talking about, and Merlin couldn't help but roll his eyes at the picture. If he hadn't known any better he would've thought that the two were genuinely in love. Well, Marianne probably was, and Merlin suddenly felt sorry for her. He wondered if Arthur would ever truly love her −he imagined them having countless fights every day, not living in harmony and peace because of the unease Arthur would be feeling. His mind would constantly be somewhere else when she would talk, and he would push her away every time she would try to reach him. He shook away the though immediately, realizing that - as always – he was over-analyzing everything, making up stories where there were none. Merlin had to remind himself that after all, he wasn't part of their world and never would be. He didn't have a rich father who would help lead him to the 'right' path, and show him how to make the most 'beneficial' life-decisions− such as marrying someone because of their financial status. I could never understand their world because I'm not a part of it, period, he resigned himself to the truth.

Merlin went over to Guinevere and Lancelot's table and said he was tired and wanted to go home. He excused himself and headed to his dressing room to change. On his way there, he stopped by where Arthur was sitting and announced he was going home. Arthur absent-mindedly told him he was free to go, only giving him a small nod. As Merlin headed to the dressing room, he heard Arthur call his name. He turned around, his eyebrows raised in question.

"You did a good job tonight." Arthur said. "It was a successful evening."

"What he means to say is that your performance was beautiful!" Marianne cut in, smiling widely at Merlin. She made it so hard to find her irritating. He sighed inwardly.

"Well, thank you." Merlin replied. "Good night." He added and climbed up the stairs towards the dressing rooms.

His mind went back to Morgana who had left after their second dance, complaining about the pain in her ribs. Merlin knew she had lied to him earlier saying that everything was alright, and for some reason it disappointed him that Morgana didn't trust him enough to tell him the truth. He didn't want to snoop into her personal life, but eventually Merlin's curiosity would get the best of him– he had to know what was going on. .

*Note: The song I used above belongs to the Gerswin Brothers, later performed by Eileen Farrell in 1938.