Lithuanina chapter done for Rue-the-Marauder! Hope you enjoy!

Russia: Lithuania ... we should become one again! It would be fun, da?

Me: Fff- No. This is staying T-rated, because I am thirteen and do not need those mental images.

Russia: But we were one once, when the Earth was called Pangaea! EVERYBODY was one with Russia then.

Me: I ... need ... brainbleach ...

1. If Belarus is crouched outside of Russia's window, Lithuania is not allowed to tap her on her shoulder and ask her how she is doing.

2. … Because she will stab him if he does something like that.

3. Lithuania should not ask Belarus out on another date, the chances are that she'll say no unless Russia is involved.

4. If Russia is involved, he will not survive the evening.

5. So therefore he will not ask Belarus out on a date.

6. Chain letters do not work, so it is pointless to forward them to others.

7. It is also really irritating.

8. If Russia asks him to look at something in a small, dark, empty room, he should follow his instincts and get the hell away from there.

9. If Russia makes the "Rape Joke", he should run.

10. Because it isn't a joke.

11. Insulting Russia's wardrobe is a very, very, very (very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very) bad idea.

12. As is donating Russia's clothes to museums.

13. Because he wears them on a regular basis.

14. If Russia is drunk, Lithuania should run.

15. And warn Poland.

16. If Poland is drunk, Lithuania is not allowed to sit back and watch him strip.

17. After all, good friends stop others from stripping, best friends join them!

18. If Hungary starts talking about him being in a "documentary", he should decline.

19. If Hungary asks him to be in a "movie", he should decline.

20. Let's just say that if he accepts, he's going to end up as an unmovable, bloody hunk of meat.

21. … that is in great pain.

22. If he talks to Belarus, it will irritate her. If Belarus is irritated, she will go to Russia. If she goes to Russia, he will be in pain. The moral of this rule is that he shouldn't talk to Belarus.

23. He should give Latvia the Talk as soon as possible, to stop it from being done by Russia.

24. Or France.

25. Because if it is France that gives Latvia the Talk, things will get very, very, very bad, very, very, very quickly.

26. And if it is Russia that gives Latvia the Talk – oh shit. Let's just say that he will never be able to look at Latvia the same way.

27. Lithuania cannot let Poland talk him into a skirt.

28. Or a dress.

29. If Lithuania breaks any of these rules, then he will be locked in a room with Belarus and Russia for hours.