TW: for a little violence at the end

Chapter 10

The women stood in the doorway of their son's room and watched the boy sleep. Everything from that day was clockwork and the domestic cohesion the women enjoyed lightened both of their moods.

"Will you go back to levitation practice? Or…"

"No, I was just going to watch some TV on my phone, I don't want to disturb you." Emma hesitated and asked, "Unless you think I should practice more today?"

"No, I think you grasped the lesson skillfully. Tomorrow we'll try two blocks."

"I can't wait." Emma's eyes rolled down the brunette then asked, "Are you going back to your books?"

"No, I believe I've learned as much as I can from them about the scepter."

"I thought it was a wand?"

Regina scrunched her nose and answered, "The texts are unclear."

"Awesome, I love vague instruction manuals." Emma fidgeted and asked, "So are you going to bed then?"

"No. I…" Regina broke eye contact and shifted her weight before asking, "Would you like to have a drink with me?"

"As long as it isn't wine, count me in."

"Does cognac suit you dear?"

"Whatever you got. I'm easy," Emma said with a shoulder shrug.

A smirk crawled across the darker woman's face, and she drawled, "Are you now?" Before the blonde could respond, she turned and headed downstairs.

"To please, I mean," Emma called after her then rolled her eyes when the Queen started to chuckle.

"Of course, My Liege," Regina teasingly called over her shoulder. The hair on the back of Emma's neck prickled as the words the Queen spoke coiled around her. She was uncertain when things started to change between them, but she noticed that they had and once she noticed, she could no longer not notice the change in their dynamic. The charge between them now that the spark was lit was undeniable.

After picking up a few scattered toys from the living room floor, Regina handed a tumbler of mahogany alcohol to the younger woman, and Emma took a large gulp.

"One does not chug fine cognac darling."

Emma swallowed the mouthful of booze and asked, "Is it fine?"

"It's fifteen hundred dollars a bottle, it damn well better be."

Emma choked on her next gulp, and the brunette chuckled at her expense. "Yeah, I'd classify it as fine. That bottle of booze is worth more than my car."

"Dear, your high tops are worth more than your car."

Emma pulled her features down in mock annoyance and said, "Oy! Lay off the bug!"

Regina sniggered and got comfortable next to the blonde on the couch.

The Savior side eyed the older woman and asked, "Is it wrong that I'm enjoying this time with him as a little baby?"

"He is a toddler dear, he isn't even in diapers, hardly a baby," the Queen quipped then answered, "but no it's not wrong."

"I'm sure it seems silly to you, but this is all new to me and I just… I don't know, I know it won't last, and I don't..." The blonde was getting used to the younger version of her son, and it wasn't like she didn't want the boy to be his rightful age, she just missed out on so much and this experience has shown her how much of the boy's life she'd actually missed.

Regina fidgeted and leaned her arm against the back of the couch and propped her head against her fist and admitted, "It isn't silly; frankly I feel the same."

"Yeah but you have memories of him in all of his chubby cheeks and Spiderman pajamas."

"Long ago memories Miss Swan, from a time when he loved me." Regina downed her drink and got up to refresh it.

"He loves you, Regina. He's just mad and hurt and feels betrayed."

"Rightfully so," the sadness in the Queen's eyes startled the Savior as she returned to her seat on the couch.

"Do you regret lying to him?"

"I regret the situation that forced my hand." The brunette looked down at her drink and explained, "By the time I got him, it was already too late. I'd already walked down my path and am suffering the consequences for doing so. The ultimate price of my revenge; I've lost my child. Do you have any idea how it feels to…" The Queen stopped the thought mid-sentence and looked into pained green eyes, "Yes, I suppose you do."

Emma bit her bottom lip and failed to stop the tear that slipped out from under her eyelash, then said, "I don't know how you feel. Not after raising him and loving him to have him turn and leave you. I gave him up for adoption, which was damn hard, but it was my choice. I don't think the two compare."

Regina shrugged and said, "No matter the circumstances, his absence is painful in both cases. Do you regret giving him up?"

"No. Not until he showed up out of nowhere and dragged me to this town." The blonde bit her lip then said, "Not until I got to know him."

Emma made a motion to set her empty glass down when Regina took it and got up to refill it.

"I don't regret it now though," she amended. This time she's spent with the Queen had really opened her eyes to the woman's relationship with their son. That mother-child bond she'd never known herself.

"You no longer regret giving him up?" Regina handed her a fresh drink then sat a little closer on the couch. She could see this topic was a sore subject for the blonde, and if she was honest for herself as well, and offered comfort to the younger woman.

The blonde shook her head and explained, "He…" She swallowed down her emotion and quickly said, "He had a good life here. A better life."

"That doesn't mean you can't regret not being a part of that life."

"I do," Emma agreed and leaned her head back against the couch and looked at the brunette sitting next to her. "But… you're amazing with him."

The Queen pulled a tight smile, "Being his mother is everything to me." She broke eye contact with the blonde and said, "I see him like this and part of me thinks I have a chance to do things right by him, but I know that isn't what this is. This isn't a second chance for me. This is a second chance for you."

"What do you mean?"

"You get a glimpse at a part of him you missed out on." The Queen rolled her eyes, "I'll admit I'm a little jealous."

The Savior lifted her head and asked, "Why?"

"Because after this debacle, you will have a stronger relationship with him, and I will still be the Evil Queen in his eyes." The former Mayor held together her emotion as best she could under the circumstances, and Emma smiled warmly, "Not if you choose a different path Regina. He will forgive you. You just have to show him that you are trying to be a better person."

She scoffed a mirthless chuckle and asked with disbelief, "Do you honestly believe I could be a better person Emma?"

"I do."

"You truly are a fool."

"Maybe, but the only person who has to believe you can do better is you." Emma covered Regina's hand with her own and added, "But for the times you don't totally believe, I still do."

This gesture the younger woman afforded was brimming with compassion and where the woman was touching her caused goose flesh. The soft pad of her thumb absently caressed her knuckles, and Regina imagined how it would feel elsewhere on her body. It'd been a lifetime since she'd taken a female lover, but never one with this many… complications.

From the moment the blonde walked into her life she'd been drawn in. Beyond her control or comprehension, she had feelings about the Sheriff. Loathing, jealousy, lust, fear, hope, despair, admiration. Every feeling felt at maximum.

When the woman was close, she felt alive and this time they've spent together, getting to know each other, just made that all more intense.

Another soft brush of the Savior's thumb across her knuckles and Regina jumped up from the couch. She would require smooth liquid courage for what she was considering, so she took Emma's glass to top her up as well. She poured them each a fresh drink, and when she sat back down, she admitted, "I'm starting to delude myself again."

"Oh good, just how I want you," Emma snarked with a half smile trying to make light of what the brunette admitted to.

"How exactly do you want me, Miss Swan?"

Suddenly dark eyes pinned the Savior and the question that was asked seemed far heavier than the words on their own would suggest. The sentiment hidden in the question snaked its way into the Savior, and she felt the attraction in all of its raw power.

"De... uh… luded?" Emma looked down at the Queen's plum lips that seemed fuller under brandy goggles and before she was even aware of what was happening the Queen leaned in and pressed those lips against hers.

For the longest moment, she felt the rush of pure adrenaline, and the soft wet lips held to her as if they were waiting for her acceptance. Emma pushed her glass blindly onto the coffee table and then pressed into the sweet kiss that was offered. Mouths opened, hands explored, tongues searched, and both women fell into the attraction that had been pulling them together for months.

Emma felt a wave of calm wash over her, a sense of contentment that she'd only ever felt once before in her life. It was happiness. Genuine, open, walls down happiness and suddenly Emma couldn't breathe. Panic and fear replaced the calm, and she stiffened up in the Queen's arms. Hands stilled, and Regina pulled back with a question in her eyes, "What's wrong?"

"I can't do this," Emma blurted out then got up off of the Queen and off of the couch and all but sprinted towards the front door.

She ran.

She ran across the street, across the field beyond and only stopped running when her legs were burning, and her chest was heaving.

She thought about how everything between her and Regina, how good it was. Finally after months of strife and the push and pull of their relationship. How peaceful it is between them and their son. She'd extended the olive branch. It was she who pushed for this amicable peace they achieved. Could she jeopardize it all over a kiss? She was attracted to the older woman, but there was so much between them.

A lifetime of mistrust and betrayal.

Generations of hate and revenge.

Unspeakable wrongs.

Could she forgive it all, including her childhood, at a chance for something more with that woman? If she was being honest with herself, she'd already started to forgive her for things that happened long before she was born. Was this next step such a leap? It was terrifying, but it also felt more right than anything else in her life.

Then there was that kiss.

It wasn't like she kissed Regina. Regina kissed her. That meant the woman felt something and dared to act on it, even under several glasses of fine cognac, that was still pretty courageous.

Emma turned back and looked toward the house she'd sprinted from and whispered, "And I ran like a coward." She closed her eyes against her disappointment and cursed under her breath. Now even if she wanted something more with the woman, Regina would resist it completely.

Did she want something more? There was no way she'd want some casual fling with her kid's other mother. Could she take the chance at this being some game the Queen was playing? Seduce her arch nemesis' daughter for the ultimate revenge? Did she think that was a possibility? With everything, they'd been through? No. Not now. She meant what she said to the woman while they were on the couch. She believed Regina could be better.

For Henry. She was in a unique situation now where she has nothing to lose and everything to gain.

So did Emma.

Her panic was triggered by the powerful connection between the Queen and herself. It was something she felt only once before, with Henry's biological father. He'd pulled her in with promises of a future then betrayed her trust in the worst possible way. By his doing, she ended up in jail, and her life had started a tailspin that lasted the bulk of her twenties. Could she open herself up that way again? She knew if she wanted something with the Queen she would have to. There would be no half-assing it with Regina Mills. It was all or nothing, and she decided, she wanted it all.

When she arrived back at the mansion, it was pitch dark and a cool weight sunk in the pit of her stomach knowing the battle she had ahead of her. She tried the door, and of course, it was locked.

She used her newfound magical knowledge to twist the deadbolt knob on the opposite side of the door and smiled in self-satisfaction when the high pitched click sounded as the bolt fell into place. She opened the door with a smug look and entered the dark house.

She headed up the stairs and straight to Regina's bedroom. She tentatively knocked and when the woman didn't answer she firmed up her resolve and pounded on the door. "Regina?" she said loudly into the wood of the door, and when she called the woman a second time, the door was ripped open, and a furious Queen stood before her. "Miss Swan! Shut the hell up! You're going to wake Henry!"

Emma took in the comfortable nightshirt, wild, unkempt hair and puffy red eyes. She'd been crying. She felt a pain in her chest as if her heart had literally broken in two. It was her actions that caused this upset in the Queen. Her fear. Her.

The woman had taken a chance, and she'd been denied.

Emma shook her head and said a quiet, "No." This wasn't how their story played out — dejected and angry — crying alone in their mutual solitude over what could have been.

Sometimes you have to punch back and say no! This is who we are.

"No," she repeated more firmly.

Before she could second guess herself, she barged into the older woman's bedroom and took her up in her arms. She crashed their lips together, and until she felt a sharp pain, she assumed everything was going to be okay. She thought the woman would just understand and know that she wasn't being rejected. Emma had a momentary lapse, and now it would be okay.

It wasn't.

At all.

Regina bit into her lip and drew blood, pushing the younger woman away from her with a snarl.

"I'm sorry," Emma gritted through the pain and wiped the blood from her lip. The Queen slapped her and Emma lost her balance. When she recovered, she grabbed a fist full of dark hair and backed them against the far wall and yelled, "God damn it, I'm sorry!"

The Queen struggled under the Savior's strength and yelled back, "I don't care!"

Emma pressed her weight against the struggling brunette and insisted, "You do!"

She believed it. She could see it in everything the Mayor did. Every word she chose. Every look. She felt what the woman showed her was affection. Or as close to affection as she was willing to express openly. Trust was an issue on both sides, and Emma knew if she wanted something passed the aggressive flirtatious aggression they'd had since they first met, she knew it had to be her that dragged them there.

The Queen broke free and landed several open-handed slaps against the blonde's upper torso causing her to shrink back under the stinging pain. Emma pushed her off of her then rushed back into her while she was off balance and tried to pin her against the wall.

Regina regained her footing faster than the Savior anticipated and slipped out of the attempt and used her momentum to slam her into the solid wall then barked, "You must be out of your mind to think I give a fuck about you!"

Emma shook off the collision and yelled back, "Maybe! But I give a fuck about you!"

"Clearly! Is that when you're taking my son away or when you're literally running from your intimacy issues?" Emma got back into the Queen's personal space, and the brunette attempted to slap her, but she dodged the blow and wrapped herself around the Mayor and pinned them against the wall and roared, "I said I'm sorry!"

The Queen struggled and gritted back, "And I said, I don't care!"

She lifted the Queen up, and the woman instinctively wrapped her legs around the Savior's hips. The soft groan was swallowed as the brunette grunted in an effort to wiggle free.

She dug her fingers into Regina's hips and hovered close to the woman's sneering lips and spat, "You make me fucking irrational! I hate that I love how you turn me inside out!"

The brunette arched her back and used the momentum to topple them to the floor and breathlessly laughed at the Savior, "So you're a masochist?"

Emma rolled them over once she recovered from the fall and pressed her hips into Regina's open center. "Evidently! Because I love how I feel when I'm near you. Even when you make me hate you! I love how you feel. I can't put you down. I can't stop…" Emma panted as she circled her hips and added, "I don't want to ever stop."

"Emma…"

Emma kissed her full on the mouth then pulled away and panted breathlessly, "Tell me you feel it."

The Queen groaned into the Savior's mouth, "Fuck you!"

Long fingers grab hold of dark hair, and Emma wrenched the woman's head up, so their eyes met and demanded again, "Tell me you fucking feel it!"

She could see the older woman's pupils grow in desire and she leaned in and once again took possession of her lips. She rolled her hips, thrusting them into the brunette's core, drawing out a groan from the smaller woman.

The Queen kissed her back and rolled them over so she was on top and suddenly pulled back so she could look down. She grabbed the Savior by the chin and shoved her away in disgust.

Pale fingers slid up her thighs, under the oversized tee shirt and gripped the Mayor's hips. It was as if the icy fingers of the Sheriff reached beneath her skin, rooting her to the only place she wanted to be. Leaning in close to the blonde's ear she replied in a deep voice, "I feel it."

In surprise, the Savior turned to look at her, and for a long moment, they stared into one another's eyes. Everything unsaid passed between them, and Regina leaned in slowly and kissed the blonde. When the gentle tentative kiss was deepened, Regina rolled her hips, pressing her center into the firm abdomen beneath her and moaned into soft lips.

Emma hummed her approval and saw that kiss as acceptance and the sense of euphoric calm returned to her, but instead of hiding from it, this time Emma Swan embraced it. She embraced it wholeheartedly and silently vowed never to let it go again.