NCIS:
What's Happening? Are Things Changing?
DISCLAIMER:
NCIS and characters do not belong to me.
SUMMARY:
One Saturday Abby decides to do something different then what she normally would on a Saturday, a walk in the park that could change her life and her mind about some things.
A mention of the Los Angeles NCIS Team.
WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS AN ATTEMPTED SUICIDE!
CHAPTER 10: TIMOTHY MCGEE, WHAT WEREYOU THINKING?
THIRD PERSON P.O.V.
FOUR MONTHS...
SINCE ABBY HAS GONE MISSING...
Days had turned into weeks and weeks into months.
Team Gibbs continued to work other cases, but did not really care anymore. Abby was not there to help them, nothing seemed to matter anymore.
All had been on the verge of quitting the only thing stopping them was the hope they would find, Abby.
Now the hope seemed to fading...especially for Tim.
Tony and Ziva seemed to be leaning on each other for support.
Tim had told his sister, Sarah and she was there for him.
Gibbs at one point had been seen talking to Ducky.
Palmer had turned to no one on the team, but had turned to his fiancée, Breena.
Now it had been four months and nothing had been found...except dead ends.
TIM'S APARTMENT...
LATE ONE EVENING...
TIM'S P.O.V.
I sat on the couch and thought back to months ago now, when Abby had come to talk to me about the future.
We had gotten back together only to lose everything a month later, when she had been kidnapped, I am sure by now she has lost the baby and that she is more than likely dead.
I had been thinking of quitting NCIS, because it just was not the same anymore and I can hardly stand to be there anymore.
That is where I had met her for lunch after we talked on the phone, the times in the lab and just being in the same building was great. Now...it was gone.
I know the chances of finding her alive now...are gone. She is dead and I cannot stand to think of life without her.
So now, I sit here tears streaming down my face.
I have my gun in one hand and pills in another, I was trying to decide which one or if I should.
I now think back to something I had told her a long time ago and had meant every word...
* 'If something every happened to you, I would...'
I had not finished and she had seemed to understand, because she had given me a hug. *
I would never feel her hugs again…
Flirt and joke with her, never see her smile or notice beautiful she is and love the fact that she is different, I would never be around her again...now I knew that without her in my life, I could not go on anymore.
I had lost Abby and the baby we would have had. If she were here, I am sure we would have had our baby and maybe even if she had changed her mind gotten married.
I know that will never happen, because now she is dead. I am losing the fight and will to live without her. There is a knock at the door, but I continue to stare at the gun and pills in my hands.
Someone pounds on the door louder and a click as a key unlocks the door. It opens, but I cannot seem to look up and see who it is...
Then I feel the pills yanked out of my hand and someone is trying to take my gun as well, I cannot let it go...
Finally, after a fight the gun leaves my hands as well.
I look up then to see...
Gibbs:
His lips are moving, but I cannot hear what he is saying. He looks angry and worried at the same time.
Then I look around to see...
Sarah:
She looks scared and tears are falling down her face, as she wraps her arms around me in a hug and all I can think is it's...not one of Abby's hug.
Tony:
He looks shocked and worried as well. I see him pull out his phone and talks to someone before hanging up.
Ziva:
I cannot read her face, but the mask she usually wears is crumbling, and I can see tears.
A look from everyone reveals fear that they would lose me, just as Abby had been taken.
Just as...Mike Franks, Director Shepard, and Kate Todd...had all been killed, it would have been different, because I would have a choice and not died on duty or in the field.
I do not know how I can go on living without...Abby. I loved her more than anything and now I am sure she is dead, because if she were alive she would have been home and safe by now.
I cannot live without Abby or what we could have had. We will never find her; it has been too long, neither Abby nor her body has been found.
I do not know how long it has been now. From what sounds far away there is another knock at the door and I look to see Ducky.
The sound comes back and Ducky is sitting in front of me.
"Timothy, what on earth were you thinking?" Ducky asked and at first, I cannot find my voice.
"I can't live without Abby or the baby that we would have had. It has been four months and nothing. Four months!" I yell at them.
"We know how long it's been, Tim. You are not the only one who has counted the months." Tony told me.
"What if we never..." I started.
"You can't think like that, Probie. You have to believe that we will find her?" Tony replied.
"How do you expect me to think?" I questioned.
"When you thought I was dead when the Damocles Ship went down did that stop you from looking for me?" Ziva asked and I looked at her, because I had forgotten about that.
"No..." I replied as I remembered.
"Then you should not give up on finding, Abby, yes?" Ziva asked and I looked around.
"You should know by now that, Abby...is a strong fighter and wouldn't give up. She is fighting to come home to us...back to what you two started. She wouldn't have started that and let it go easily." Gibbs said.
Looking around I knew everyone was right and finally I nodded.
"Excellent, I would like you to promise me one thing, Timothy." Ducky said and I looked at him knowing what was coming.
"Never to attempt to try this again," I guessed.
"Yes, we have been watching what you have been going through over the past few months and have been quite worried. I know that this is harder on you. Anyone of us is willing to listen." Ducky said.
"I know how you feel, because I lost Shannon and Kelly. This is different though, because Abby is alive and we will bring her home safe to us." Gibbs assured me and I wonder if he really believed what he was saying.
"I've been listening to you, Tim. If we had not walked in the door, I would have lost my big brother. You were willing to quit your job and what you love for me. Do not quit and do not give up on, Abby, okay? She wouldn't want you to." Sarah asked.
"All right, thanks." I said giving Sarah a hug, then looked from face to face.
The worry on everyone's faces seemed to have eased a little...but you could still see it.
"Ducky, is right. We should have been telling you more often, that we are all here for you." Ziva said.
"We're a family and Abby is a part of our family. WE WILL FIND HER! Get out of this self pity and help us!" Gibbs ordered.
"You're right, boss." I said at last.
"Then let's get to work and I don't want you living al..." Gibbs began.
"Boss, I already promised I wouldn't do it again." I argued.
"Timothy, Jethro is right. This is not a thought that goes away easily when you are missing someone; as you miss, Abigail," Ducky said.
"Hey, Probie, you can always come and stay with me!" Tony suggested as we walked out the door.
"No, Tony." I told him automatically.
"I'll stay with, Tim." Sarah told everyone and I looked at her.
"Do I get to decide?" I asked.
"As long as you're not alone," Gibbs said.