Okay, here's the new deal. I'm trading regular length for regular timing. At the end of every month from here out, I'm going to upload whatever I've got done. That means chapters are going to be shorter from now on, and some of them might cut off at awkward transitions if I can't help it, but I'm betting that's preferable to waiting forever between updates. I actually had this chapter ready about half a month ago, but I held off so that I could get a headstart. (Shrug) We'll see how this goes.

I'll keep my old standing offer available: ask me about progress and I'll write a page within a week and tell you about it.

Disclaimer: I might own something someday, but that day is not today, and it won't be anything in this franchise.

Iruka-sensei pinched his nose over his scar in that way that Keidyan always thought would be painful. He winced and turned away, but he was relieved because that also meant Sensei was done scolding him.

The teacher sighed. "…Do you trust me, Kei?" he said abruptly. Keidyan blinked. Weird question. He hesitated, nodded. "But not enough to tell me what's really bothering you, huh?" Kei stuck his chin out and said nothing.

He saw Iruka-sensei nodding out of the corner of his eye. "Tell you what," he said, "why don't you and I go out for ramen tonight? Just like your old man and I used to." Eyes going wide, Keidyan rounded on the instructor, but he bit his lip. Sensei caught it and raised a hand. "Nothing about class or lessons or being a ninja. Just some time to hang out. Would you like that?"

Keidyan wasn't sure they really wouldn't talk about school -what else did Sensei know about, after all?- but he did like Iruka-sensei. And the fact that his dad used to do this all the time… He nodded eagerly and put on a big grin.

Sensei looked relieved. "All right, it's a plan then. In the meantime, let's get back to class, huh? Go take your seat, I'll be along in a minute."

Keidyan leapt off the chair and practically sprinted out of Iruka-sensei's office. His ears were still burning from all the lecturing he'd just sat through; he could hardly believe it would end so well. His classroom was just around the corner, and as he ran in the other kids were finishing up their lunches. His stomach grumbled, but he didn't care, it was worth it.

"~Oooh, Keidyan's in trouble again~!" one of them called as soon as he ran in, drawing all of their eyes and stopping him in his tracks. He hid the urge to step back out again under a snotty look and tried to see who had spoken, but couldn't.

In the front row, Shikanami Nara turned a lazy glance at the clock and took another draw at her juice. "You missed all of lunch," she told him, sounding impressed. "That's a new record."

"Who'd want to miss lunch?" a baffled Chogan Akamichi asked her between fistfuls of chips, a dozen empty bags littered around. Kei liked Shikanami and Chogan. They were fun and cool.

"Just Kei, because he's so dumb!" sneered Inoru Nara, who was neither. Several of the other kids snickered and added their own jabs. Keidyan thought of something to shoot back at the blond boy, but he couldn't get himself to say it. He settled for sticking his tongue out and hurrying past him, looking for Zumi. Little sis had been on the edge of waterworks by the time he got back to school; the only way to avoid a crying fit was to promise to share his lunch with her. Hopefully she'd found something to distract her long enough to…

Oh, snot. That Inuzuka girl had her. She was the worst, always the first to laugh at him and knock him down on the playground. She'd moved to the seat next to his again too, even though he'd asked Iruka-sensei to move him away from her twice. Little Hizumi was happily playing with her puppy -Aomaru? Aoimaru? whatever- on the floor between them when he sat down, scooting his chair away from the other girl.

"Hey Loser-maki!" said Ashi with her big pointy smile, dimples in her fang marks. "You're in the doghouse so much maybe you should just move in!"

The other kids weren't watching any more. Kei made an ugly face and said, "Because then I'd have to hang out with more of you Inuzuka."

She leaned over, sniffed him, and plugged her nose. "We wouldn't want a loser like you anyway," she said. "Too bad you didn't get away this time- we had loads of fun without you, right Zumi?"

"Yeah!" squealed Zumi in delight as the puppy licked her face some more. She petted the blue stripe over one of his ears. Kei scowled.

"Don't you wish you had a cool big sis instead of a dropout big brother?" Ashi said, smiling bigger. He was pretty sure neither of them knew what 'dropout' meant, just that it wasn't nice.

"Nope!" said the toddler just as happily. "Big brother is the best!" She offered Kei the last scrap of his lunch, a corner of sandwich with doggy slobber on it. His stomach growled, but he grinned and hugged his sister. Inuzuka looked surprised and sad.

Iruka-sensei came in then, closing the door behind him and raising his voice. "All right everyone, time to settle down. We still have a lot to cover today, even without any more interruptions."

"Yeeaah," sneered Inoru, "like another of Keidyan's dumb escapes!"

"And that means that it's time for all visitors to leave," continued Sensei. He was looking straight at Hizumi. She pouted and clung to her brother, much to his embarrassment.

Inoru started to say something again, but his sister gave him a sock and told him not to be a drag. "Oww…" the boy whined, rubbing his arm.

"Uh, hey Zumi," said Kei, "Don't you wanna go spend time with Mom and Dad?" She bit her lip, trying to decide. "Dad will take you up on the Mountain if you say please," he added quickly. That did it; Hizumi's eyes got big and she nodded. He thought he heard Ashi say something real quiet, but he didn't care.

Sensei had an eyebrow raised. "So glad we have consent," he said, in that way that made Keidyan think he was telling a joke. "Anyway, Sanaki should be by any minute to…" The door slid open. "Ah, right on-"

Kei didn't know what was happening at first. It was not Sanaki-sensei standing in the doorway, but some big guy in all black. Iruka-sensei looked surprised and… scared? A second later something long, sharp and flexy shot out from the big guy at Sensei, who swung both arms up to block it away, a kunai in one hand. The other hand left something behind when the long thing went back, a few small dots swinging free. Keidyan knew what they were and shouted "Look out!" and clenched his eyes closed, covering Zumi's face.

The flash pellets went off right then, and a lot of the other kids screamed. As soon as they were done, Kei looked again and saw Iruka-sensei knocking the big guy back. The teacher did something with his hands and slapped them against the doorframe. Some black writing and a red light showed up and spread all over the wall. The guy in black punched the light from the other side, but nothing happened. He smiled then, and Kei didn't like it at all.

"Knock those desks down and get behind cover immediately!" Iruka-sensei was shouting. "And no matter what happens, stay hidden!" Hizumi was bawling, and Kei had to push hard to tip the two-person desk by himself. When it went thud he looked over at Ashi, who was really pale and looking around weirdly.

"I-I c-c-can't see! I can't s-see!" she was saying in a squeaky, scared voice. The flash pellets. Keidyan grabbed her by the hand and pulled her off her chair. "Get down!" he yelled.

Right then there was the loudest noise he'd ever heard, and he saw a big chunk of the wall opposite the door fly apart. Ashi screamed and grabbed her ears, Hizumi just screamed, and Keidyan pulled both their heads down, but none of the chunks came near. He heard Iruka-sensei use the only swear word Kei knew. The red light on the other wall disappeared.

There was a lot of noise for a while, on the other side of the desk. Clinks and scrapes of metal on metal, more explosions (but none as loud as the first), the crackle of fire and weird sounds he didn't recognize. He couldn't hear or see the other kids. Ashi was whimpering as much as her dog, both holding their heads in pain. Hizumi had buried her face in his shirt. All four of them jerked when something hit the desk beside them.

Keidyan was as scared as he'd ever been in his life. He held Ashi and Hizumi under him, but he felt his arms shaking. He had to get up. Iruka-sensei needed help. Why wouldn't his legs move? He tried to peek over the desk, but his head was too heavy to lift.

And then Iruka-sensei screamed.

Kei wrenched himself away from the girls and looked. The classroom was wrecked. The kids in the first row huddled behind their desks like he did. The bad guys had their backs to him. There was somebody enormous covered head to foot in shiny metal armor standing next to the man in black from before… who held Sensei off the ground on what looked like a pair of swords in his chest. All the blood made Kei want to scream, cry and throw up all at once. Instead he ducked down and reached into the drawer in the underside of the desk, pulling out the kunai there.

Ashi could see a little better by now. When he turned to get up she grabbed his arm. "No, Keidyan, no! You can't!" she whispered desperately.

"I gotta! Sensei-! He-! I gotta!" he whispered back just as frantically. He didn't want to, but he couldn't stop. He pulled Hizumi off him and pushed her into Ashi's hands. Little sis tried to wriggle loose and opened her mouth to bawl, but Kei shushed her and rushed out from behind the desk.

He had to get Iruka-sensei free first. Gripping the kunai tightly, he screamed as loud as he could and charged the man in black-

-and then he was three feet off the ground, caught up in that long, flexy… thing. It came out from beneath the black coat. A tail? Whatever it was, it was as hard as iron, and a sharp, dripping needle at its end waved in his face.

The intruder turned and eyed him. He wore a headband that looked like it was made from scrap metal. "Blond hair, white eyes, even dumber than he looks… could they make this any easier for us?" He patted Keidyan's head, condescending of his struggles. As he did he opened his coat wide enough that Kei saw what he had stabbed Iruka-sensei with were not swords but an extra pair of bladed… arms? coming out below the normal set. The freak's crazy grin grew wider and he turned back to the teacher, watching through bloodied eyes. Sensei tried to reach for something, but the intruder twisted the blades, sending him into spasms of helpless pain. Kei snarled in anger.

"I suppose this one had a little more fire than I expected," said the freak, "but that just makes me want to snuff it out!" His arm-things tensed, and Iruka-sensei screamed again.

"Wait." Kei struggled to turn toward the new voice. Another man in a black coat and a deep black hood was standing in the doorway. "That's the Hokage's favorite teacher. If you kill him, the Sixth will take it personally."

The freak laughed. "That just sweetens the kill."

"Leave him alive to pass a message," continued the other stranger, "and the Hokage might catch up to us."

The freak smiled that creepy smile of his. "Can't call it ignoring orders if he comes to us. I like that." He dropped Iruka-sensei in a heap. Sensei didn't make a sound. He wasn't moving.

"My dad's gonna be here any second, and then you're all gonna pay!" screamed Kei. He made himself to look away, and when he did he saw the stranger's eyes, burning red like embers in his deep hood, and burning right into Keidyan. Something like a dozen nightmares happening at once overtook him, and whatever he was going to say next died on his lips.

Then suddenly he was struggling for breath as the coiled thing constricted around his chest and the freak leaned in close. "Sorry kid, I think mommy and daddy have their hands full right now… fighting for their lives!"

Keidyan didn't buy it for a second. His dad was the greatest ninja ever, period. He tried to get enough breath to throw that in their faces, but then the big metal man moved a little. Where his face would be a lot of blank metal plates turned toward the freak.

"Yeah, yeah," grumbled the freak. "Ugly plant, taking so long to die… Alright kid, take a good look around and say goodbye." Kei's eyes widened from more than the fight for breath. "But look at the bright side, at least you get to skip class."

There was a squeaking noise behind him. "You leave my big brother alone!" Was that Hizumi's voice? Why did she sound so far away? He tried to twist and look back, but it was really more of a weak flop. Yep, there was Zumi, runny eyes and nose and running down the stairs. Ashi was holding her finger and running after her.

Suddenly there was another bad guy there, swatting Ashi back and scooping up his sister. He looked sick, there was one of those scrap metal plates over his mouth, and he hadn't been there a second ago. Had he?

Our luck continues. What? What luck? Keidyan was confused. We weren't expecting to pick up the spare.

They had Hizumi. Kei's brain said he should do something, but his body was sleepy. Sis was watching him and crying silently. He tried to shake himself, wake up, get angry. Where had his kunai gone? Someone was saying something, but he couldn't hear…

He couldn't…

…

Keidyan jerked awake. His cold toes and that weird blue moss light told him he was still in the cave cell. He sat up carefully so he wouldn't wake Hizumi, curled up on the only mat under the only blanket, with only enough space left for his head. His butt hurt from the hard stone floor.

He rubbed his face and threw a grumpy glare at the cell door. The eyes weren't there this morning. Was it morning? Or had the nightmare woken him up early? He couldn't tell. He never felt tired after a bad dream. It wasn't like there was much to do in this dump between meals anyway. Maybe if he laid back down he could dream about the day Dad and Mom busted them out of here again.

Just as Kei started to tip back the sound of a door opening drifted through the air. He tried to catch himself but only managed to flop awkwardly on his side. "Ack!"

By the time he'd righted himself a face had appeared at his door. It had bulgy eyes that looked even bigger through the goggles strapped under the forehead that looked like it had grown out around them. There were lines that looked like stitches running all over his nose and cheeks, and in the weird light they looked really creepy.

Even moreso because he was mashing his face right in between the bars and smiling way too much. "Hello, little boy. Are you ready to begin?"

Kei eyed him carefully. "Whaddya mean?"

"Why, the reason you were brought here, of course! The examination! The exper-" his tongue stuck out the side as far as it could reach and waggled all quick-like. "-just a few tests for you to take."

Oh great, another freak. "Do we get to go home after I take them?"

"Nope nope nope! One way or another you'll never see your home again!"

Kei wanted to scream and punch him right in his big oversized eye. "Then why should I?"

"Why?" The latest weirdo burst into a fit of giggles. "'Why,' hnnihihi. Not why, how, how is the first question, boy. If you don't volunteer I can give you something that will give you an interesting, hnahah, time, and we can do the tests while you're dreaming." He smiled even wider, and Kei thought he heard a popping sound from the stitches on his upper lip. "Of course, if we do it that way, you won't have any idea what goes on in this room while you're gone. Or while you recover. For days."

It took Keidyan a minute to figure out what he meant. When he heard Hizumi turn over behind him, he felt sick. "Okay fine, I'll do your stupid tests!" he blurted quickly. The freak nodded eagerly, rubbing his face along the metal bars, before waggling a finger forward. Kei hesitated. "What happens if I pass?" he asked.

"Don't know. Depends on how you pass."

There was more than one way? Kei shook his head. "…And what happens if I fail?"

One of those bulgy eyes twitched a little, and Kei thought he saw them glance past at his sister, but the freak kept smiling his creepy smile. "Well, let's just say that nobody wants you to fail. Nobody would be happy at all."

(End)

On a whim, I tried to 'dumb down' the narrative to reflect the very young point of view (fewer big words, more 'kiddy' ones, etc) but I'm not sure whether that added more than it took away. Eh, oh well, hope you guys liked this look through Kei's eyes anyway.

By the way, in case anyone is curious, assuming my translation research was done correctly, Ashi Inuzuka and Aomaru follow the Inuzuka naming convention: 'Ashi' means 'leg' and 'Ao/Aoi' means 'blue'. I wanted to make her ninja hound a female, but I didn't know the feminine equivalent of '-maru' and didn't want to spend the time to look it up. If any of you know a suitable one off the top of your head, I might retcon the pooch.

See you all next month, but hope to hear from you sooner.
~ArcTheJedi