Chapter ten
Carlisle smiled and stood, "I'll let you two have some privacy" He told us, before heading to the door.
"Wait" I said, panicked. "What do I tell her?" I asked.
He patted my shoulder. "All of it"
"The details as well? Like... how they died?"
He nodded, "It's best that she knows it all, It'll let her memory come back better. But I've told her that if it gets too much, for her to tell you to stop so she can take in a few things"
I nodded and moved out of the way for him to leave and closed the door behind him. I stood awkwardly in front of her, "um... so, where do you want me to start?" I asked, sliding against the wall and sitting on the floor, my back leaning against the plaster.
She went to move closer but I shook my head. "If I'm going to be saying the things I think I'm going to be saying, I need distance... no offence"
She nodded "Okay" She whispered, pulling her legs to her chest and hugging them. "Who are you?" She asked.
"Isabella Marie Swan"
"Who am I?" She asked, slowly.
I took a deep breath "Mary Alice Swan"
She didn't have the reaction that I thought of, I thought she might get upset, or worried. But instead, she stayed silent. Staring at me. "Why am I called Alice?" She asked.
I laughed, "We'll, your favourite story was Alice in wonderland. And because your middle name was Alice, you demanded that we all called you that now... and then it just stuck."
She smiled "I like Alice in Wonderland"
I nodded, sadly, remembering some of the happier memories of my time with my real family.
"So, are you... we are? Your my sister?" She asked quietly. Then she quietly put two and two together "So that's why you got so upset? After seeing the picture... oh Bella I'm so sorry..."
I nodded "Look, this is really hard for me, so can I just go and tell you the whole thing rather than this question and answer time? Cause I don't think I'll be able to start again once I begin"
She slid onto the floor and moved closer. I moved my legs up to my chest, and hugged them. "Alright. So, when you were born, everyone was happy... even Daddy, which was a surprise... I remember the first time I met you, I was only 5 years old But I still remember it clearly, because I remember the fear I had for you, for coming into this family...
"Bella, Come on sweety" my dad said, taking my hand.
I winced and pulled back, rubbing my bruised arm. My Daddy hit us, but he said that he wasn't going to any more, because there was a baby in the house and that this baby was going to be good luck.
But if I was that baby, I would run, or crawl, as fast as I could away from this family, because I don't think she was going to be safe here.
I followed Daddy into the room and hurried over to Mummy. She had been in here for three days now, and I had been home with Daddy... alone. She smiled at me and rubbed my shoulder before patting the bed beside her. I climbed up and peered into her arms.
"Bella, this is your new sister. Mary Alice Swan" My mummy told me, well, now its our mummy.
I heard the door close and turned, our Daddy had gone, probably to go smoke.
My mummy's face turned hard. "Has he hit you baby?" She asked me.
I nodded sadly "but mummy, what if he hits Mary, I don't want him to hit her"
She smiled "I don't want him to hit either of you. And I promise baby, one day, were going to get away. Your all going to be safe one day"
I turned to my new sister, Mary, her blue eyes were going everywhere, and then they rested on me and I knew that second, I had to protect her.
"I was scared for you because I knew Dad wasn't going to change." I told her.
She frowned "So, our father, he hit us?"
"Yeah, Kevin Swan. He didn't start hitting you until you were about 1 and a half. But that's only because Mum always gave you to me and locked us in the closet. She wasn't home the first day he hit you.... She blamed me though." I shook back a sob and smiled at Alice, who had her own tears. "Are you remembering anything?"
She shook her head. "Sorry"
"Maybe its because you were too young... you weren't even two then."
"what happened the day our parents died? Why did they die?" She asked in a whisper.
I scooted closer to her, wanting to hold her so I could have the comfort as well. But I didn't... because I didn't know what she would think.
"It was dark, and I remember our Mother, well she was really scared. She told me she was going to try to get us out of here. That she had had enough of all the beatings. She locked us in the closet and told us not to come out, no matter what we heard."
I started to cry. "It was so hard for me to sit through it. But you didn't know what was going on, you were scared so I had to stay there with you. I sung to you, but I couldn't because then he started yelling and Daddy was so mad"
"BITCH!" we both heard it and we both dreaded it. It was the voice of Daddy.
Alice shook "Daddy's home" She whispered. It was eerie, a small 2 year old saying 'Daddy's home' with utter fear.
We heard banging "Where are my children bitch?" He said loudly.
I heard a large thud, shaking the small house we were in. "They are of no concern to you Kevin, I am putting my foot down! You are not welcome here any more"
I swallowed and held Alice closer, my hand pressing down on her ear. Hoping she will not hear any of this.
"Fucker! How dare you" he screamed "I will kill you before you take away my family"
"I found the gun, that they had in the closet for emergencies. And I took it in case I needed it. I didn't want to use it" I sobbed. "I hid you behind the clothes. Because I knew something bad had happened"
We listened carefully. The banging had increased now and there was now screaming. We knew who was screaming.
"You will never take away my family. I will always find my girls. Always. And you, Melissa, will now be out of the picture" Daddy said to Mummy.
Then there was a large bang and someone sounding as if they couldn't breathe, like the time Daddy held my head under water while I was taking a bath.
Once all the sounds stopped, we could hear someone breathing, heavily. I knew who it was, and it was not the person we wanted.
"Our father... he killed her! He killed the only person who has ever loved me" I chocked out. "And then, and then he came back for us!"
I heard footsteps coming closer and closer to the closet door, and then it was ripped open and the light poured in. But blocking half that light, was my father. Kevin Swan. The man I have been terrified of since the moment I could understand that word. "Daddy" I whispered. My hands holding the gun behind my back. Shaking in fear.
"Bella, come right here" He said, pulling me by my arm. I was yanked forward, the gun still hiding behind me.
"Follow me, let me show you what happens if you disobey me" He said angrily, walking toward our kitchen.
A small bubble of fear broke in my stomach and the butterflies began to dance. I crept behind him, not wanting to, but having no choice but to follow him.
"But you were hidden, so he only got me. And I had to... I had to follow him out to the kitchen. Where mum, she was... she was dead! There was so much blood"
What I saw in the kitchen, leaves me silenced. My once pretty mother now barely had a face that I could recognise. The blood was... everywhere... there was so much. Her arms and legs laid useless in the bloody pool beside her. I let a small sound escape me before I vomited beside the redness.
My father did not like my fear, or vomit.
"I threw up... and he didn't like that. He thought I was filthy"
"Disgusting. I can't live with a piece of trash like you, come here. I will make it quick" He said, pulling out a knife the size of my leg.
"No" I pleaded, tears falling. I backed away.
He stepped closer and grabbed my hair. "no? You do not disobey me." Then he cut off my hair, laughing hysterical.
"No Daddy, please" I cried as the knife came to my chest.
"He wanted to kill me!" I cried. "So I had to do something, I had to stay alive, for you Alice... I couldn't die while knowing you were still in danger"
I took a deep breathe, it seemed to shake in my throat. "So I did what I had to do... I shot him"
I couldn't think, my heartbeat was loud in my ears as I pulled my arms in front of me, and then pulling down hard on the trigger. Daddy looked shocked, he looked like he was in pain. He fell forward and his knife cut through my arm, a long gash opening me up, my own blood pooling out of my cut.
I dropped the gun to the floor and then collapsed onto my knees.
"I have never said that before" I whispered, my growing pain becoming intensified. "I've never ever said that. They never asked me! I'm a murder.... I killed someone! I should go to jail!" I started to panic and I held my legs closer to me.
"Bella, are you okay?" A small voice asked me.
I saw Alice, tears on her face, and it was her face that pulled me back. "I'm sorry" I whispered.
She frowned "Why are you sorry? You did what you had to do. Self defence is not murder"
I shook. "But its still killing someone... and worse... It was my father"
She shook her head. "Bella..."
"No, I don't want to talk about whether it was bad or not."
"I remember" She whispered, sounding surprised. "I remember coming into the kitchen. I didn't get to see anything cause you blocked me... but I remember the blood on your arm... and how scared I was because I thought you were going to die"
"You remember? Really? Everything?"
She smiled, but it looked pained. "I think so... I remember Mrs.... Mrs. Tailor? She looked after us as the orphanage... but she wasn't nice... she hit us. I wet the bed? And you... you took the blame"
"Alice... your actually Alice again? You remember?"
She nodded.
I made some sort of noise before flinging myself at her and hugging her. This time, not letting go because I couldn't. I simply couldn't let her go... ever again.
That night we had a small celebration. We celebrated Alice's memory and we celebrated Brandon and I's addition to the Cullen family. I felt, for the first time ever, that I belonged somewhere. And I actually wanted to stay here. I wanted to live here.
I was going to bed when Esme and Carlisle stopped me. "Bella, we want you to consider therapy. We could all hear you crying when you had to tell Alice those things, and we know it wasn't easy. So we also know, that you must be fighting a internal battle inside you mind" Carlisle said softly. We were just outside my door, so Brandon might be woken up.
"I'll think about it..."
"Where also thinking of offering it to Alice... because I'm sure some memories are coming back to her now"
I nodded. "Yeah... she might have nightmares. She did when we were in the orphanage"
The nodded sadly. "We'll keep an ear for her" Esme promised before hugging me lightly and then going back downstairs with Carlisle.
I went into my own room and fell asleep quickly. Only because I was exhausted.
Bright blue eyes stared back at me. Bright but empty eyes. "How could you keep this from me? How could you not tell me the moment you knew I was here?" Alice's voice rang out from the blackness of the room.
I couldn't see anything. I couldn't even see my hand in front of my face. It was dark. It was too dark.
"I hate you" Alice whispered, as her eyes, the only form of light, began to drift backwards.
"No" I shouted, beginning to run for her.
"I hate you Bella... your brought back all my fears" She cried.
No! Alice NO! I tried to scream, but my voice was gone and I couldn't speak. I couldn't even move now. I was trapped. Trapped alone. Trapped in the dark.
"NO!" I screamed out loud as I shot up from my bed. Crying on the monitor told me Brandon was awake.
I quickly got up and ran to the door, flicking on the switch. It was too dark... way too dark.
I quickly went into Brandon's room and fed him while sitting on the rocking chair, and then changing him and putting him back to bed. Once he was asleep again, I went to go back to my own room, but stopped. I could hear crying. Alice was having a nightmare.
I went inside and climbed onto her bed, hugging her softly so she would know I was there but didn't freak and wake up.
I firstly began to hum, but then started singing. The song I promised would always be sung to her.
"Hush, little baby, don't say a word,
Bella's going to buy you a mockingbird.
If that mockingbird won't sing,
Bella's going to buy you a diamond ring.
If that diamond ring turns brass,
Bella's going to buy you a looking glass.
If that looking glass gets broke,
Bella's going to buy you a billy goat.
If that billy goat won't pull,
Bella's going to buy you a cart and bull.
If that cart and bull turn over,
Bella's going to buy you a dog named Rover.
If that dog named Rover won't bark,
Bella's going to buy you a horse and cart.
If that horse and cart fall down,
You'll still be the sweetest little girl in town.
So hush little baby, don't be scared,
Bella's always going to be right here"
Alice remembers! Yay. Now Bella may be able to live happily... if it wasn't for the bad dreams... hmm, do I hear... therapy?? * hint hint *
~ Bexta
P.s I want to know how far you guys want this story to go? Do you want me to stop once Bella has worked out everything and is happy?
Or do you want me to go on into her adult years and raising Brandon?
Or should I stop this story and then make a sequel....
Or something else...?
let me know