When he woke up in the morning, she was gone.
Zuko wasn't surprised. In fact, he'd expected it. He knew, in the core of his soul, that she had not only left his bed, but she had left the city.
That didn't make her abandonment any less painful. He ignored the chill that ran through his body from head to toe, making him huddle under the covers like a child. She'll come back. She'll be safe. She said she would.
She would always do this, always need her freedom from him. He knew that. She wasn't like him; she didn't feel the chains of responsibility binding her to one place. She'd thrown off those shackles when she was still a child, and no one would ever chain her again, not even him, not even their love. He would have to learn to live with it.
But how long would she be content to return? For anyone else, the promise of being a queen might be attractive enough to stay. Even Zuko himself might be attractive enough to make her stay. But Toph was blind, and she'd always been a queen in her own way. She didn't need him. Not the way he needed her.
With a deep sigh, he kicked off the blankets and got dressed. His steward showed up a few minutes later, summoned by the guards outside who had heard the Firelord stirring, and Zuko sent him to ask the Kyoshi Warriors and his generals who, exactly, Toph had taken with her. She'd probably consulted with one of them.
Suki, Sokka, and Aang were there minutes later. Zuko hadn't expected them so soon; he sat cross-legged in front of his meditation candles, trying to find some semblance of inner peace before he dealt with deciding what to do next. He scrambled up when he heard the door open, but his muscles protested, and he had to grab a table for balance. It had been a strenuous night.
Aang sauntered in first. "I thought Toph was still with you," he said, leaning against a bedpost and surveying the tousled sheets. The grin on his face was catlike.
"Well, she's not." Zuko didn't sound sullen often anymore; he'd long since schooled his voice to calm diplomacy instead of his emotional teenaged outbursts. But apparently his old habits were coming back. "She was supposed to take an escort with her when she left. Did she?" he asked, looking at Suki.
The commander shook her head, her arms crossed behind her back. She was technically on duty right now, after all, even if Sokka was tagging along with her wherever she went. She seemed remarkably alert after staying up late at the party last night. Suki was nothing if not professional. "According to your uncle, she dictated letters to your father, your mother, your sister, and Lady Mai, then she left."
Zuko ran a shaking hand through his hair. "She can't bend yet. She's out there, she's still weak, and she's alone."
"Come on," Sokka snorted. "This is Toph. She doesn't need bending to scare the shit out of everyone she meets."
"So?" Aang gave his brother-in-law a look. "Zuko's still going to worry."
"Well, we have a road trip to plan," Sokka pointed out. "I'm sure Toph will be fine. We should go have some fun."
"Sokka," Suki said gently, laying her hand on his arm.
"What?" Sokka's brow was furrowed. He almost looked like the skinny, unreasonable boy he'd been eight years before. "It's not like we can do anything."
Aang stepped forward, the obnoxious, knowing smile he'd worn earlier gone. "Guys, why don't you go out and check on Appa? We're not leaving until he's rested. Zuko and I will figure out what to do now."
Sokka looked like he was about to protest, but Suki grabbed the back of his shirt and steered him out the door like an unruly child. He'd grown into an effective and creative leader for the Southern Water Tribe, but he could still be a moron from time to time. The door closed behind them with a thud.
"I promised I wouldn't interfere with this," Zuko said heavily.
"Do you know where she went?" Aang leaned back against the wall opposite Zuko, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Not really. She said she was taking care of old business, or something. What if she has another…"
Aang gave him a queasy look. "Toph? No offense, but isn't it kind of a miracle that she has one relationship?"
Zuko laughed, or as close to it as he ever came. "Yeah, I guess. And she was…" He glanced at the bed and then changed his mind. What he'd shared with Toph was too precious to speak about. "…uh, quiet about it. I mean, she didn't mention anyone."
"Maybe she went to see Mai, or her school," said Aang.
"I don't know. Yeah, maybe." She sent messenger hawks to her school daily; he doubted she'd go there. "She sent letters to my family and Mai. She wouldn't send a letter then visit them, too, would she?"
"You could always ask your steward, or whoever she dictated her letters to."
"That seems rude, Aang."
Aang shrugged helplessly. "I'm just trying to help!"
Glancing at his candles again, Zuko rubbed his chin. His stubble itched. He hated shaving, but he hated looking like his father even more. "Maybe she went to Gaoling," he said quietly.
Aang was silent for a moment.
"You think she did," Zuko guessed.
"Probably." The Avatar shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "That's so far away. She's going to be on a boat for two weeks, at least. She could have just asked for a ride on Appa. What're you going to do?"
"That's what's killing me, Aang. I promised I wouldn't intefere." Zuko looked up at his friend, searching for some kind of solace in Aang's optimistic gray eyes. "But she's nearly killed herself at least once in the past month."
"I can't tell you what to do," Aang said.
Zuko narrowed his eyes. "What would you do?"
"I don't know, Zuko. I've kept promises and I've broken them."
Zuko remembered the one Aang had broken; the promise to kill him if he became like his father. When he'd stopped the Harmony Restoration Movement, the Avatar had nearly made good on that promise; but then he'd made a judgement call and let Zuko live.
"And Katara doesn't really do things like that," Aang went on, breaking the tension of the memory. He rubbed the back of his neck with an uneasy grin. "She'd probably make me go with her, and it'd be really uncomfortable."
Zuko made an effort to smile. "Ha. That's true."
An amicable silence took over for a few moments. Zuko closed his eyes and took a deep breath, feeling the fire in the candles respond to the flow of his chi as his lungs expanded and relaxed.
"I shouldn't go after her," Zuko said quietly. "If she's going to be my wife, I need to trust her judgement." He opened his eyes.
Aang took a step forward, putting his hand on Zuko's shoulder. "That had to be pretty tough to decide," he said.
"Yeah. But it's right."
"It is," the Avatar agreed.
There was another silence, free of tension.
"Let's go tell Sokka we're leaving tomorrow," Zuko said, rising. His legs buzzed with pain as the blood flowed back into them. He'd been sitting still too long. "I bet he'll be excited."
"Yeah," said Aang. "And the Sun Warriors probably won't kill us for telling another people they exist."