"I have to go," I whisper against her lips.
"Don't," she says, pulling me closer on the futon. We kiss again, my tongue exploring hers gently, tasting smoke and bubble gum. But eventually, I pull away and sigh.
"I can't be late for work. Will you be here this weekend?"
"Umm, Emmett's having a party tomorrow night. I was gonna see, maybe, would you wanna come downstairs?"
I don't know if I'm shocked that she wants me to meet her friends or not, but I'm definitely taken aback. At the thought of trying to fit in with that group, my mouth dries out, and my palms begin to sweat.
"I don't know, that's not really my thing. And I have to work. Maybe we could just meet on the fire escape after I get home? Talk for awhile?"
"Oh. Yeah, sure." I can tell she's disappointed, but it's just not that easy for me to agree to leave my comfort zone. Other than talking to Bella and kissing her, it's been a long time since I did anything that required much courage.
"I'll probably be too tired after work to do much anyway."
"Right," she replies.
We walk to my door together and leave the building, hands loosely clasped. It feels so right, my heart soars, and I lean over to kiss her forehead when we reach Rose's van.
"Hey, I should get your number if that's okay." I pause, getting my phone out of my pocket.
"Oh, right." Bella beams, and it makes me a little ticked that I didn't ask for it before now. We exchange quickly so I don't miss the bus, and I give her one last kiss.
"Until tomorrow night then. You climb up, and I'll bring Cokes?"
"Can't wait." She jumps in the passenger seat and watches me walk away, a frown creasing her forehead.
Bars are unpredictable. Thursday night, there was nearly a brawl, but on Saturday night, it's so dead Mandy wants to go beg people to come in from the street.
"Where the fuck is everyone?" She's understandably grumpy, but I'm secretly enjoying the reprieve.
"They'll show up. Calm down. Mop the floors or something," I tease.
"I guess you can go home if you want to, Ed. No use in both of us losing our Saturday night. And let's face it, the tips aren't going to be worth it anyway."
"It's only ten o'clock. How about I give it until 11:15? Then if it's still this slow, I'll catch the 11:30 bus home."
"Deal. What are you reading?" I'm perched on a barstool with a book for class, and Mandy peeks over my shoulder.
"The Shadow of the Wind? Believe it or not, it's a book about books. It's incredible so far."
"Sounds boring. I'm going to catch a smoke out back. Come get me if anyone comes in?"
"Sure." I nod and return to my book, getting lost in the words on the page quickly and taking notes in the little notebook at my side.
Half an hour passes, and no one shows up. I'm still reading, but with a glance at my watch every few seconds. As 11:15 approaches, I get excited about seeing Bella earlier than planned.
About twenty minutes later, I call it a night. "Mandy! I think I'm gonna go," I call back to the kitchen, shoving my book and notes in my bag and heading for the door. "You good?"
She sticks her head through the doorway, a beer in one hand and cell phone in the other. "I'm good. I've resorted to drinking. Get out of here, and go find your girl." She winks at me, so I laugh and head out into the night.
I text Bella while I wait at the bus stop, fidgeting around and wondering how things will pan out when I get back. She seemed pretty bummed out that I didn't want to go to the party downstairs, but I really hope to kiss her again.
She doesn't respond the entire way home, and I start to wonder if something happened. Maybe she's not even at the apartment. Maybe she and Rose went somewhere else. Maybe her dad got uptight and wanted her to stay home. Okay, now I'm just making things up. I'm so fucking nervous now that we're on the level of casual kisses and hand-holding.
When I start to walk up the path to my complex, I know there's a party here. Bass is thumping the building, and I can already hear alcohol-saturated voices from the second floor. I go to my apartment and drop my bag on the counter, eagerly opening the window and texting Bella at the same time.
Got off work early. You coming out?
Ten more minutes tick by with no response. Maybe she really was upset about the party. It's just a party, right? I guess if I don't fit in, it won't be the end of the world. Maybe I'll just wander down there and see what's going on.
I'm at the front door to Emmett's place all too soon. I haven't even had time to decide whether I should knock or just walk in, but I think about what Bella would do and end up just opening the door and stepping inside.
The room is loud and hazy, smoke settling around me like a curtain. It's too dark to see much but there's light coming in from the hallway, casting everyone in dark shadowy silhouettes. I take a few steps into the room, dodging two girls with red cups and a guy with a huge pipe. Rose is standing near the kitchen, and I start to walk toward her, assuming the huge guy she's hanging onto is Emmett. We make eye contact for a second, but then my eye senses motion to my right, and naturally I turn to look.
Sitting on a low couch in the dark is Bella. My Bella. And she's kissing the big, brawny guy from that day in the school parking lot.
I stagger backward, unable to cope with the blow to my heart, and with one more glance at Rose, I run back out the door and up the steps to my apartment, chest heaving in panic.
"Edward! Wait!" A voice ricochets off the concrete walls, but I don't stop running. If I stop, I might implode.