Healing hearts

We they reached the house Christina looked at Edward and said "Daddy what can I do for Grandma and Uncle Jasper?"

Edward smiled sadly "Chrissie, you are a sweet girl but sometimes there isn't anything you can do. These things take time. Oh god, Bella I never called Esme. She thinks something happened to me."

Bella put her hand on his shoulder and said "Go talk to her now! She is probably a nervous wreck."

Edward nodded and sprinted inside. Before he even got half way into the kitchen Esme threw her arms around his neck. She softly moaned "Edward thank the Lord! I thought- I thought something terrible had happened. Why didn't you call me?"

Edward lightly gripped Esme's shoulders and said "Mom I'm alright. To be honest I needed a break. After I finished hunting I went to go check on Bella and Christina."

Esme reluctantly released Edward from her grasp. Then she nodded towards the door "Jasper is barely alive right now. Go talk to him please. You are the only one he'll listen to. I already lost a daughter; I can't loose a son to."

Just then Bella and Christina came into the kitchen. Christina tugged on Esme's shirt and laughed "Grandma!"

Esme looked down and smiled at her "I've missed you so much little one. Once you get yourself settled we can make some of those special cookies."

Christina started to answer but was cut off by a pair of big strong hands tickling her. She laughed loudly "Uncle Emmet! When I get out of this Uncle Jasper will help me beat you in wrestling."

Emmet immediately stopped tickling Christina and looked very sad. Bella sighed and put her hand on his shoulder. Edward only shook his head and went into Jasper's room. Christina went to Bella and asked "Mommy can I give Uncle Jasper a hug?"

Bella shook her head "No. I know you want to help but these things take time. If you go upstairs I bet Aunt Rosalie will play dress up."

Christina turned away from Bella and ran into the guestroom crying. Edward heard the commotion and came into the room. He heard Christina crying and said "Bella what happened? If Emmet hurt her I'll."

Bella put her hand up to stop him then she whispered "I don't know why she's upset? I told her to go play dress up with Rose and then she just snapped."

Esme gently placed her hand on Edward's shoulder "She used to play dress up with Alice. I think that's something she should avoid right now. Has Jasper started to come around at all?"

Edward closed his eyes "He talked me a little bit. He's still closed up in a little box. I don't blame him. He's lost so much. The more we push him the more he's going to pull away. Bella I'll go talk to Christina."

Edward quickly went upstairs. He could hear Rosalie trying to reassure and comfort her. Quietly he knocked on the door "Rosalie can I have a few minutes with my daughter please?"

Rosalie opened the door and turned to leave. Before she did though she tenderly kissed Christina's forehead and whispered "You'll be alright sweetheart. Tell your dad what you told me."

Christina lifted her face and looked at Edward. She sniffed "Daddy I miss Aunt Alice so much. Why did this have to happen? I feel like it's my fault."

Edward pulled Christina on his lap and said "Honey this isn't in anyway your fault. Sometimes bad things happen and there isn't anything you can do. Something else is bothering you; do you want to tell me?"

Christina sniffed and shook her head "I don't. Can you stay until I fall asleep? Promise me that you won't disappear."

Edward moved Christina off his lap gently and helped her lay down. He carefully pulled the covers over her and laughed softly to himself. Bella came upstairs and stood behind him. He sighed when he felt her touch his cheek.

Christina moaned in her sleep when Edward let go of her hand. He softly began to sing "Goodnight my angel its time to close your eyes. Save these questions for another day. I think I know what you've been asking me. I think you know what I've been trying to say. I promised I would never leave you. You should always know no matter where you go; no matter where you are I never will be far away. Goodnight my angel now its time to sleep. There are still so many things I want to say. Remember all the songs you sang for me when we went sailing on an emerald bay. Like a boat upon the ocean I'm rocking you to sleep. The water is dark and deep. Inside this ancient heart you'll always be a part of me. Goodnight my angel now its time to dream. Dream how wonderful your life will be. Someday your child may cry. If you sing this lullaby then in your heart there will always be a part of me. Someday we'll all be gone but lullabies go on and on. They never die that's how you and I will be."

Bella smoothed the hair out of Christina's face and breathed "She's so peaceful when she's asleep. Remember when you and I were like this? Remember when everything was so safe?"

Edward solemnly nodded "Yeah I do. I promise Bella I will do whatever it takes to make you and Christina safe again."

Bella buried her face in Edward's neck and sobbed silently. Edward didn't know what to say so he just stroked her hair and hummed her lullaby. A few minutes later Emmet timidly knocked on the door. He turned towards Edward "Is the kid still awake? I wanted to tell her I was sorry."

Edward looked at his brother with shock on his face. Emmet was never quiet or timid. Bella saw that Edward wasn't going to speak so she took over "Come here; Emmet you have nothing to be sorry for."

Emmet sat down on the floor beside the bed Christina was sleeping on then he sadly said "I made her cry. Edward I'm so sorry."

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose "You didn't Emmet. This is a lot for a two year old girl to handle. Bella is right you have no reason to be sorry. Now stop being so quiet and depressed. Christina needs her big teddy bear."

Emmet sighed and said "Edward what was Alice thinking? She knew we all loved her; why did she do this?"

Bella took in a sharp breath and snapped "Both of you stop it! We are all stressed and upset. If you haven't noticed Christina is trying to sleep!"

Carlisle heard the yelling and came running upstairs. Bella gasped when she saw the look on his face. Carlisle looked older lines of worry seemed to crease his once young and perfect features.

Edward nodded his head at Carlisle thoughts but he didn't voice them. Bella stood up and rubbed Edward's shoulders gently. Then she sighed "Edward what's wrong? Do you want me to go talk to Jasper?"

Edward didn't respond he just stared blankly ahead. Then Carlisle said "Bella maybe you can reach him. I can't though he keeps telling me I'll never understand. When this family lost Alice we lost Jasper in a way."

Bella sadly nodded her head and made to go downstairs. She was stopped by Edward grabbing her hand. She faced him and said "Edward, I have to help Jasper. I'll be right back."

Edward nodded but said "It's not that, I just don't want to push Jasper too hard. The harder we push, the more he's going to pull away."

Bella put a hand on Edward's shoulder and smiled a sad smile. Then she went into Jasper's room. When she knocked on Jasper's door she heard Esme trying desperately to soothe him. She hadn't told Edward this but part of her was afraid of the pain she would see.

Esme heard Bella knock and opened the door. She wrapped Bella in a tight one arm hug. She didn't say anything but Bella saw the pained and pleading expression on her face. She squeezed Esme back and promised "He'll smile again Esme. I've not giving up on him. Jasper is my brother."

Esme let go and whispered something so quietly that Bella barely heard her. After Esme left the room Bella went and sat beside Jasper on the bed. She wasn't sure what to say to him. After what felt like forever Jasper sighed "Bella, do you think she's out there somewhere?"

Bella was caught off guard by that question. Jasper had to repeat himself twice before she answered "Of course she is. She wouldn't want you to hurt Jasper."

Jasper took an unneeded breath "Bella, I thought you of all people would understand. Alice was the center of my heart. I feel like I should have been able to protect her."

Bella reached over and placed her hand on top of his. Then she said "Jasper as much as it hurts you need to let her go. Don't think about the fact that she's gone. Instead focus on her life. Think about the night that you two met. Tell me about that night Jasper."

Jasper sniffed "I saw her sitting at a table in the diner and was drawn to her. When she said that I'd kept her waiting I said I was sorry. Then she took my hand and I felt hope. Bella I need her in my life. I miss her so much."

Bella gently moved her hand and placed it on Jasper's heart "She's still with you. We are all here for you if you need us."

Jasper looked Bella and smiled sadly at her "Thanks Bella, Edward told me about Jacob. You miss him don't you?"

Bella nodded "Jacob was my best friend. He gave his life to save my daughter and myself. I'm never going to forget him."

Jasper hugged her tightly "I never meant to hurt you Bella. Now, now don't cry, whatever you do don't cry."

Bella swiped at her eyes quickly to hide the tears from Jasper. Then she snapped in a voice harsher then she needed to "I'm not crying!"

Jasper spoke in a voice that was both gentle and firm "Bella remember what you told me?"

Bella sniffed a little "No. I really don't feel like talking, I'm just going to go to bed."

Jasper grabbed Bella's hand "Oh no you don't, come on Bella talk to me. If you won't talk at least let me calm your emotions so you can sleep."

Bella nodded "Thank you, Jasper I'm sorry for getting so upset. The last thing you need is my emotions on top of your own."

Jasper put a finger to Bella's lips "Don't Bella, you want to know why I wasn't talking to my family except Edward? I wasn't talking to them because they were treating me differently. They were tip- toeing around me like I was a newborn vampire. You and Edward were there for me but you didn't treat me like I was something unstable. Never feel sorry for your emotions."

Bella nodded "I'm just going to head to bed. Don't be afraid to open up to the rest of your family. They miss you Jasper."

Jasper gave Bella a gentle brotherly hug and sent calming waves towards her. Then he sighed "Alice really cared about you a lot you know."

Bella took a shaky breath in "I- I- I, goodnight"

Bella quickly left the room before she fell apart. Edward met her in the hall and pulled her into his arms. Bella sobbed heartbrokenly into his shirt. He gently stroked her hair and searched her face for anything that might have brought on the sudden outbreak of tears.

Bella eventually lifted her face from his shoulder "Edward I'm sorry, I should be more sensitive to your feelings. Alice was your sister; I shouldn't be acting this way. I."

Edward soothed "Bella, no, no, no. You have every right to feel the way you do. Do you want to tell me what's wrong?"

Bella sniffled "Jasper actually opened up. He told me everything. Then he tried to make me talk about Jake. I still can't believe he's gone. Edward I just can't."

Edward rubbed circles on Bella's back and soothed "I know Bella, I know. Now get some sleep. I'll be up in a minute."

Edward went into the guest room where Christina was sleeping. She was crying out in her sleep. Gently he ran his hand up and down her back. She woke with a start and fell sobbing into his arms. Carefully Edward lifted her into his lap and rocked her. Once her sobs become just tiny hiccups he began wiping her tears away from her pale face.

Christina took a couple of deep shuddering breaths "Daddy I saw what happened to Aunt Alice."

Edward gasped but tried to remain calm "Shh. Christina. You are ok, you're ok. What did you see?"

Christina choked out "Those other vampires who you said wanted to kill me, they threatened to kill her if she didn't join them. She didn't want to and they made it look like she killed herself."

Edward pulled his baby girl even closer to his heart. Then he asked "Honey how long have you known this? I won't get mad you can tell me."

Christina burst into tears again. In between sobs she moaned "I told Aunt Rosalie before I went to bed. I'm sorry daddy."

Edward brushed his daughter's hair away from her face "You have nothing to be sorry for. I'll sit right here until you fall asleep. Do you want me to have Uncle Jasper help you sleep?"

Christina nodded her head slowly "Can I come with you? I'm afraid to be alone."

Edward gently kissed his daughter's damp and tearstained cheeks "How about I get Aunt Rosalie to sit with you. I'll get Uncle Jasper and then be right back."

Christina whimpered but didn't argue. Rosalie came into the bedroom and hugged Christina to her chest "Did you have that nasty dream again? Uncle Jasper will make it go away. Shh. You're safe I got you. God Alice why'd you have to put a child through this?"

Edward pulled Rosalie aside "She's not dreaming. She has a gift similar to mine. The only difference is she can see a person's past thoughts. She is seeing exactly what happened to Alice."

Rosalie fell to her knees beside the bed and sobbed "I feel like such a – I'd say what I feel like but there's a child present. I resented her for something that wasn't her fault."

Edward sighed and gently put his hand on Rosalie's back "Rosalie its ok. Tomorrow morning we'll hold a family morning. It's going to hurt but at least it'll bring some closure to her death."

Rosalie took an unneeded breath "Christina you look really tired sweetie. Do you think you could go to sleep if I held your hand? Your dad will be right back."

Christina sniffled "No. If I go to sleep I'll see it again. I keep hearing her scream as they rip her apart. She died for me just like Uncle J- I miss him so much. I wish I didn't exist."

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose and Rosalie pulled Christina close to her stone chest. Edward lifted his daughter's face so she had to look at him "Chrissie Uncle Jacob is always with you. He's right here."

Christina looked around the room and then sobbed "He's not here!"

Rosalie gently brushed Christina's sweaty bangs off her forehead "I think you misunderstood. Jacob is in your heart. He's always going to be with you as long as you remember him."

Edward smoothed the rest Christina's hair away from her face and said "You and your mommy are the best part of my existence. I don't know what I'd do without you. What happened to Uncle Jacob and Aunt Alice isn't your fault. Sleep my angel. I'll sing to help keep the nightmares away."

Christina nodded "Daddy can I say goodnight to Uncle Jasper first?"

Edward smiled "You are stalling, lie down and I'll tuck you in. Goodnight sweetheart."