**This chapter would have been up a lot sooner, but it somehow got deleted off my computer not once, but twice (I blame my brother). I also had APs this week, so the time I would normally spend writing I spent studying the history of Europe. Believe me, I am NOT happy to have to start over and would rather have spent the time writing, but I'll live, I guess. I just have to remember where I left off… Oh yea. Here goes!**

Chapter Ten

It'd been a week since I've been down to dinner: Using reading the restricted books as motivation, I found that skipping dinner has enabled me to remain on top of all of my assignments. Just because I didn't plan to go through with this doesn't mean I couldn't read about it—I mean, animagi are fascinating. But I could only read after all my assignments are done, a restriction I originally designed for myself to keep from becoming too tempted to go through with this; this, well, backfired of sorts, and I'd kept up with all my work and still managed to read until nearly three each morning.

The more I read about becoming an animagus, the less confident I was that I could go through with it. Nearly every page of both books were filled with gruesome pictures of half-human-half-animal creatures (there was even one of a man who somehow got both of his eyes moved to the back of his head?—what had he even been trying to become?). As far as I could see, there wasn't a single picture of a successful transformation.

Sirius wasn't much of a help either; he'd been acting as if we never talked. Which was helpful. He was the only person I knew who was an animagus— well, other than McGonagall, but it's not like I could just go up to her and say, "Hey, how would I go about becoming an illegal animagus?" I can just see that conversation ending well.

So I went about each day as if it were a normal day, and each night I hurried to read more about the ridiculous plan that I would never go through with. I'd taken to skipping lunch as well, except when I was completely starving, despite the increasing size of my breakfasts. I used lunch to finish assignments so I could read later. It was amazing how organized I became when I had motivation.

One thing that hadn't changed, though, was my inability to stay awake in class. That, in fact, was made worse by my late night reading. And to top that all off, Remus had stopped writing down the notes for me—we'd sort of fallen into this routine of pretending the other doesn't exist. Which was not helped by our schedule, believe me. I was forced to write my own notes, scattered and smeared with bits of information missing from where I'd fallen asleep.

That's what I'd been doing—attempting to do—during a particularly pointless Defense lecture when, believe it or not, words appeared on my paper. Oh, I know, how peculiar for words to appear on paper while taking notes! But no, I did not write them.

So what animal are you?

I nearly shouted in surprise, then began to frantically search the room for whoever wrote this. Did I have this class with Sirius? I couldn't remember—oh, there he was, sitting three rows ahead of me. And how would he manage to write on my paper?

It's Sirius.

That cleared some things up.

It's a spell James invented to get Lily's attention in class.

Also helpful with the confusion factor. But how was he answering questions I hadn't asked out loud?

And no, I can't read your mind.

Well that was good, though the timing of that message made me doubt its truth.

You can choose to write back at any time, you know.

Really? Weird. How the hell did this spell work?

So are you going to tell me what animal you are?

Sirius, I wrote tentatively.

Yes?

I'm not. I'm not becoming an animagus.

You mean you haven't started yet? I was wondering what was taking you so long—it only takes a week or so once you figure out how to do it, and I did the hard part for you!

Well that's good to know, but I'm not doing it. Period.

What? Of course you are! It's for Remus!

So? He's… well… Remus, but I'm not going to kill myself for him…

Of course you're not! You're just becoming an animagus, not one of the undead!

Do you even know how much can go wrong? Did you look at the pictures in the books?

Yea, those are just in there to scare people out of trying to become illegal animagi.

Well they work.

You'll be fine! What are you worried about?

Really? Um okay, let's see—DEATH?

Why? It's not that hard—even Peter did it, and you're way smarter than he is. I mean, he almost didn't make it, but he pulled through!

Wait what? Are all the Marauders animagi?

Damnit, Alex, don't write the word!

You've written it twice, genius.

What? No I—oh. Well, yea. We are. Except Remus. And you will be too!

Sirius—

No! You can do this! And don't even tell me you don't want to, because I know you do. It's for Remus.

But—

No. No buts. And by the way, if you're going to keep skipping meals to do this, the kitchens are in the basement behind the picture of the fruit. Just tickle the pear. The house elves love making food for people .Ha, you think we don't notice these things. We do, dear Alex, we do.

But Sirius—

We've been over this: No buts. I expect to hear what animal you are by this time next week.

I then saw him crumple up a piece of paper; I guess this conversation was over. Even with the vote of confidence, Sirius wasn't helpful—all he did was give me a deadline, which, I'll be honest, freaked me out a little. I realized something though: I might actually want to meet it.