Yep, finally here. This one is WAY long!

Roxanne had been expecting the pink slip when she returned to the station, but instead, her boss came running up, shouting:

"That was marvelous! Absolutely stupendous! That was some of the best reporting I've ever seen!"

She blinked in confusion. "You're not mad at what I said about Metro Man?"

"Are you kidding? It was new! It was different! It got the attention of viewers! Ratings are skyrocketing! From now on, Roxanne, you will take all Metro Man and Megamind related stories!"

She received a similar reaction from Rachel when she got home.

"You rock star! Everyone at the restaurant was talking about your report on Blue Boy's arrest!"

"Is that bad?"

"Bad? They've never seen anything like it! It's left everyone thinking! You're practically a celebrity!"

"I thought I was already famous for being Metro Man's girlfriend."

"Yeah, but this time you're famous for something you've actually done! You're the girl who trash talked Metro Man!"

Roxanne rolled her eyes but then wondered if either Wayne or Megamind had seen that report.

It was Saturday afternoon and was supposed to be Roxanne's day off. Luckily, Wayne hadn't seen her report and the date was still on, much to her dismay. She was having lunch when she heard an explosion in the distance. A minute later, she received a call from her boss.

"Roxanne, Megamind has…"

"I heard. I'm on it."

She couldn't help but smile and shake her head.

After coming back from her report, her first thought was oddly to call Megamind and see how he was doing. She stared at the card he had given her, debating on whether she should do it or not. Well, why shouldn't she? They had been talking so much that it was almost like they were close friends. At least, she thought it was just that.

She dialed the number and listened to Michael Jackson's "I'm Bad." It didn't surprise her that he'd choose that for a ring back.

"Ollo?"

She sustained a giggle. "I believe it's 'hello,' Romeo."

She heard a crash on the other end and could just picture him falling out of his chair.

"Roxanne!" he cried excitedly. "What a pleasant surprise!"

"Hey, I just wanted to see how you were doing after your escape."

"Oh, I'm fine. Minion's making chicken catchy-tore to celebrate my homecoming."

"Don't you mean chicken cacciatore?"

"Oh, potato tomato, potato tomato. I saw your report."

"Oh, and what did you think?"

"Brilliant! How did you know Minion had slipped an explosive into my lunch?"

"It wasn't that hard to figure out. There was food splattered all over your cell. Also, the prison cook stated that he was knocked out before lunch was served. I guessed that Minion had a watch too and it all fit together after that."

"I'll say it again. Brilliant! In fact, you're almost as brilliant as me!"

The reporter tried to hide her blush, as if he could see her through the phone.

"Um, Roxanne, I was wondering…"

"Yes, Megamind?"

"If you're not busy, do you maybe want to…do something tonight? With me?"

For a moment, Roxanne couldn't breathe. Is he asking me out? A feeling of guilt washed over her. How was she going to tell him? More importantly, how was he going to take it?

"Um," she stammered. "I'm sorry but…I can't."

There was silence, followed by a gulp. "Why not?"

"Well, I have…that is, I…"

She had no idea where their relationship was standing, but she knew that if he found out that if she was going on a date with his rival, it would kill him.

"I…am busy tonight. I can't really cancel."

"Oh," he said, obviously disappointed.

"I hope you understand."

"No, I completely understand."

"Is tomorrow night okay for you?"

"Okay!" he exclaimed, sounding happier. "I'll see you then!"

"Bye."

"Bye!"

As soon as she had hung up, her sister burst into the room with a pile of dresses in her arms.

"Okay," she said, setting the clothes on the bed. "We've got to find something that will make you look totally resistible."

"What are you talking about?" Roxanne asked.

"Hello? Fashion major. I know what doesn't work. We can start by taking out the revealing outfits. Remember, you don't want to impress this guy."

"Yeah, but I'm not going to dress in drab, am I? I'm still going out in public."

"Of course. The point is to make you less desirable."

Rachel picked up a red dress with a pencil skirt.

"So definitely not this one. Besides, red says: 'I'm dangerous.' Guys like that, so no."

She threw it over her shoulder.

"Hey!" Roxanne cried. "Careful, that's one of my favorite dresses!"

"Okay, just don't wear it in front of Metro Dork. Hmm, white is kind of modest, but it's also his color. Give me a hand here. Do you have any idea how many dresses you have?"

Roxanne started looking through. She held up a purple one.

"What about this?"

Rachel shook her head. "Uh uh, it shows off your shoulders. I said nothing too revealing! That goes for its blue twin here."

"How about this green one?"

"Green might do it. It totally clashes with your eyes."

"You wear green a lot."

"Yeah, but I make it work. Yellow isn't your color either. I don't know what it is, but it doesn't work with brunettes. Where did he say he was taking you?"

"To that fancy new restaurant with the hearts on the wall."

Rachel clasped her hands together.

"I've got it! Casual and modest! That's what we're looking for! The fact that you're dressed casually while going to a fancy restaurant will totally blow him off and he'll eventually see you're not interested! Besides, guys hate it when girls try to be modest! Maybe that's why Brad kicked me out."

Roxanne set aside some more dresses. "So we can rule a lot of these out."

"Maybe you shouldn't wear a dress. A full dress is too formal, which is what Metro Dork will probably expect. Maybe we should go with the innocent sweater and skirt look. The color should be…"

Rachel considered her sister's and Metro Man's personalities and how they would clash. She then thought of Roxanne's secret relationship, a knowledge of which she was keeping to herself at the moment. Then she snapped her fingers.

"Blue!"

"What?"

"Blue! It's Megamind's color! If you wear his rival's color, it will really confuse him!"

She began attacking Roxanne's drawers, tossing fabric on the floor before finally lifting something out.

"It's perfect!" she exclaimed. "Now, about your makeup…don't wear any. Trust me. Tomboy qualities always chase the boys away." Rachel paused. "I really am starting see why it didn't work out with Brad."

Roxanne giggled. "I think you're taking all of this too seriously, sis. I still feel bad about not telling Mega…I mean Romeo about this."

"Hey, if he doesn't find out, don't tell him. But if he does find out and pitiful begging doesn't help," she picked up the blue dress, "put this on."

That brought another laugh out of Roxanne.

"Wait," the older sister said. "I've got a better idea."

Minion was almost done with their lunch when his boss charged into the kitchen.

"Minion!"

"It will be ready a few minutes, sir, be patient."

"What? Oh no, I wanted to ask you if you know where my Blue Ion Nano-Kinetic Energ-Y is?"

"You mean your B.I.N.K.E.Y.?

"No, my De-Gun. Of course I mean my B.I.N.K.E.Y.!"

"It's in that labeled glass jar where you always keep it."

"Oh, right. I forgot."

"Might I ask why, sir?"

"It's for, um, my new death ray!"

"Sir, you're B.I.N.K.E.Y. is too small to harness that much energy. Even I know that!"

"Yes, you're right. I should use something else. Thanks, Minion!"

"Wait, sir, what…?"

But he was gone before he could ask any further.

Megamind pulled the invisible car up in front of Roxanne's apartment building. He was hoping to catch her before she went to whatever plans she had tonight. He had considered taking the bike, but worried that her sister might be there. He had altered his disguise from the party so he could see Roxanne without sneaking.

The problem was he couldn't bring himself out of his seat to do it. What would he say to her? He put a hand to the object in his pocket. No, it's too soon for that.

Maybe that's why he was so nervous. He was thinking of that already. He hadn't even admitted his feelings for her yet. After that, they would have to take it slow. Really slow, so I won't scare her.

He was about to turn the dial on his watch when he spotted a white streak in the sky and it was too close to be a shooting star. He backed up the car to get a better look and realized it was Metro Man, hovering onto Roxanne's balcony. What is HE doing here?

Since he didn't have binoculars, he couldn't get a closer look at the scene. Metro Man gently tapped on the glass and Rachel greeted him with a scrutinized look. She leaned against the door and examined him up and down.

He was wearing a white suit and tie, a big difference from his usual getup. In his hands was a bouquet of roses.

"Hey," he said. "Rachel, right? Is Roxanne home?"

"Maybe. What's it to you?"

"Well, we kind of have a date tonight."

"Oh, right. What was your name again?"

His smile faded. "Um, Metro Man? Defender of Metro City?"

"Now I remember! You're that annoying dude in the cape who sent the roses. Sorry, I thought you might be Albert. You know, I wouldn't try too hard, Metro Dork. Roxanne is way difficult to impress."

"Well, maybe I…"

"She gets tons of flowers like every day! Most of them are roses. They really stink up the place. At least you didn't send lilacs. Roxanne's allergic to those and I mean really allergic. Even a whiff of lilac and she swells up like a pig. It's really disgusting. I hope there's no lilac where you're going."

"Is Roxanne here or not?" the hero pleaded desperately.

"Sure, she's getting ready. It could take a while. You know she's been coughing a lot over the past few days? I think she might be getting mono, so I wouldn't get too close to her."

Her older sister called from within. "Rach, is that Wayne out on the balcony?"

"Aw, thank God," Metro Man muttered to himself.

"Yeah, it's your date," Rachel replied. "Do you want me to get the crowbar?"

Roxanne finally appeared in the doorway. She wore a blue cashmere sweater over a white collared shirt, complete with a mid-length pink skirt, beige tights and a pair of black flats. On her shoulder was a black purse that did not match her outfit at all. She felt like she was in college again.

"Hey, Wayne," she said politely.

"Roxie, you look…great."

"Thanks. You look…fancy. Oh, right, this is a formal dinner. I should probably change."

"No, no. It's perfectly alright. Here, I got these for you."

He handed the flowers to Roxanne, but Rachel snatched them.

"Why thank you very much!" she exclaimed. "Should I put them next to Jimmy's flowers or Harry's?"

"Who's…?" Roxanne started.

Rachel nudged her arm.

"Well, let's get going," Metro Man said, obviously wanting to leave.

"If she's not back by eleven," the younger Ritchi warned, "I'm calling the police."

"Um, I kind of work with the police."

"Then I'll call Blue Boy. Super villain or not, I'm sure he'd love to help!"

She slammed the balcony door and shut the curtains, leaving Metro Man in a daze.

"Is she always like that?"

"Yes," Roxanne nodded. "And she does this every time I go out. The other guys can't stand it!"

Megamind watched what he could from his position below. His green eyes widened as Metro Man flew off with Roxanne in his arms! He was carrying his Roxanne!

Curious to see what was going on, he followed them in his car. They landed in front of that fancy new restaurant and he finally got a good view of them. Metro Man had ditched his cape and tights and had put a white dinner suit in place. Roxanne, however, was wearing a casual appearance that, to Megamind, made her look adorable. And she looks great in blue.

When he saw them walk into the restaurant, reality sunk in. She was going to dinner with him! After what she had said, she was going out with him! No, she couldn't! She wouldn't!

He pressed his face against the window and watched as a waiter led the couple to their table. It was true. She was on a date with his rival! How could she do this? How could she betray him? Alright, so they weren't officially together, but she had said specifically that he wasn't her type!

He continued to stare at them and then noticed something. As Metro Man rambled on about something, Roxanne had a bored look on her face. This made Megamind more intrigued.

He sat there for about half an hour and Roxanne did not show a hint of excitement. Soon, that boredom turned into anger, and something she had said left the hero dumbstruck. Megamind lit up as Roxanne stood and spat something at him. Metro Man tried to protest and calm her down. She sat back into her seat and regained composure. Then she got up again, picked up her purse and headed for what Megamind had assumed was the ladies' room.

A bit of hope sprang inside him and an idea popped into his mind. He spotted an alley right beside the restaurant and slowly drove into it. He got out and inspected the rear of the building, which contained a dumpster, a pile of empty crates and four windows. Careful not to make noise, Megamind placed one of the crates upside-down below one of the windows and stepped up to peek inside.

As he had suspected, there he saw Roxanne standing at one of the bathroom sinks and glaring at the mirror. When he saw that no one else was around, he poked his head in.

"Pssst, Roxanne!"

The reporter glanced around for the sound. Then she turned in Megamind's direction and let out a shriek.

"What are you doing here?" she whispered harshly.

Megamind scoffed. "What am I doing here? What are you doing here?"

"Are you crazy? This is the ladies' room!"

"I can see that, Miss Ritchi. What I'm asking is what you are doing here with him?"

Roxanne glanced back at the door and then at him.

"Were you spying on me?"

"Well, I felt I had a right to know what you were doing in my enemy's arms!"

"Look, I was… Let's talk about this later, okay? What are you doing here?"

"I came to get you, of course!"

Roxanne was speechless for a moment.

"Exactly what do you mean by that?"

"Ask questions later! Right now, give me your hands."

He leaned in further and held out his arms.

"Wait," she said. "You're actually going to pull me up?"

"Yes, now hurry, before someone comes in!"

"Am I even going to fit through there?"

"If my head can fit through here, you certainly can!"

"But can you even manage it?"

"Just do it already before I have to bring my gun out!"

She didn't know if this was a good idea or not, but one thing was for sure. She wanted to get out of here. So she hesitantly took his arms and he attempted to pull her up the wall.

"You're heavier than I thought you'd be," Megamind grumbled through his teeth.

"Are you calling me fat?"

"No! Well, you're not skinny…no! I mean your body's in perfect shape…I mean…"

"Forget it, just pull!"

Roxanne was halfway out the window when the crate gave way under Megamind's feet and the alien fell, bringing Roxanne with him. They both screamed as he landed with a thud, she falling on top of him.

"How did you get so strong?" Roxanne inquired, struggling to get up.

"I work out," Megamind groaned, attempting to sit.

That's when their eyes met. They were so close now that it caused them both to blush. Finally, Roxanne stood up and then reached out her arms to help Megamind.

"Are you alright?" she demanded.

"Yeah."

"Good."

Then she unexpectedly slapped him across the face.

"Ow!" he cried. "Geez! Why do you always do that?"

"That was for spying on me!"

His jaw dropped in disbelief. "Excuse me? I suppose going out with him and not telling me about it makes you even better?"

"Why do you even care?"

"Need I remind you? You plus Metro Man equals me kidnapping you! Do you want me to kidnap you?"

"That all depends. Is this a kidnapping?"

He stuck out a finger and was about to protest when an afterthought came to him.

"You know what? Yes! Let's make it exactly that!"

He grabbed her wrist and dragged her to where he had parked the car. Roxanne seemed angry rather than frightened, even when he pulled out his gun.

"Get in," he commanded.

"Get into what?"

He leaned forward and opened the invisible car door. Roxanne gasped.

"I heard about you having an invisible car, but I thought that was just a rumor."

"Oh, it's real alright and you're getting inside it."

"Is all this really necessary?"

He brought his gun closer. "Get in!"

She held up her hands. "Okay, I'm going!"

Megamind slammed the door as soon as she had stepped inside. Instead of attempting to escape while he was coming around to the other side, Roxanne just slumped in her seat and crossed her arms.

"Shouldn't I be tied up or something?" she asked as he sat down.

The villain grumbled and pressed the button on his keys, causing the door locks to disappear.

"Don't even bother trying to escape, Miss Ritchi," Megamind said, twirling the keys on his finger. "I have it on Safety Lock and the only way you can get out of this car is with these."

Roxanne rolled her eyes. "You do realize that I could just attack you and get those, right?"

He waved his gun at her. "You do that and I'll have to dehydrate you."

"You'd really do that?"

"Yes, so you'll either cooperate or be condensed into a tiny blue cube. The choice is yours."

She said nothing and turned away from him. Megamind put the gun down and stared at her for a second before starting the car. For a while, they wallowed in their livid silence, until Roxanne spoke.

"Okay, are you serious about kidnapping me?"

"Of course," Megamind said, his grip on the wheel tightening. "I clearly have a reason to."

"You're not even going to give me a chance to explain?"

"Oh, there is no need to explain, Miss Ritchi! I think it's pretty obvious what's going on here! You reject me without giving reason, so you can go on a date with my arch nemesis, after stating repeatedly that he is not your type! Then you cast me aside like a broken toy, not thinking about what I would think, because you apparently don't care about the feelings of the incredibly handsome super villain!"

Roxanne's mouth dropped open. "Oh my god! You're actually jealous!"

He slammed the breaks on the car and Roxanne held onto the seat before she could smash into the windshield. Megamind choked on his words.

"Gel-loose? Gel-loose? Super villains don't get gel-loose, Miss Ritchi!"

"Oh, come on. You are so jealous!"

"I am not!"

"It's written all over your face!"

"I am not!"

"Oh, so you were spying on me and getting all angry at the fact that I was on a date with your rival for no reason, huh?"

"Exactly! I had this all planned out."

"Uh huh. So where are the ropes?"

"I…forgot them."

"Where's the blindfold?"

"I forgot that too."

The fury on Roxanne's face faded and transformed into amusement. "You weren't planning to kidnap me."

He tried to think up a lie, but failed.

"No," he admitted.

Roxanne laughed. "I got you again."

When he said nothing and refused to look at her, she let out a sigh.

"Look," she began, "Wayne asked me to this dinner and my mom's been begging me to go out with him because she thinks he's sent from above. Rachel suggested that I go and since it was going to be a disaster anyway, Mom would stop bugging me about it."

His anger seemed to diminish, but he was still avoiding eye contact.

"I didn't want to tell you," she explained, "because I know you have some sort of soft spot for me…"

"Villains do not have soft spots, Miss Ritchi," Megamind muttered.

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that. Anyway, I knew you had…something for me and I was worried about how you would react. Considering the past few minutes, I had reason to worry."

He continued to look away, but she could tell he was trying to suppress a snicker.

"Though you're right. It was a big mistake."

She waited for his reaction and watched as his lips curled into a small smile. He finally turned to face her and leaned his elbow against the wheel.

"Was it a disaster?"

Roxanne grinned. "I was already planning to slip out the window even before you showed up."

He perked up, his eyes glimmering with excitement. "It was really that bad?"

"The worst date I've ever been on! Ugh, you should have heard him back there! He's so full of himself! He was blathering on and on about how great he is and all that, not showing any real concern for me at all! Wayne may have been my friend in high school, but right now he's such a…such a…brag!"

"There you go. You learn something new every day."

She shook her head. "I didn't even try to make an effort. I didn't bother with the makeup and wore this outfit that makes me look like a silly schoolgirl."

"I think you look fantastic no matter what you wear."

Megamind bit his lip as the words escaped from his mouth. Roxanne turned to him and smiled.

"Thank you."

His shoulders relaxed, but then he crossed his arms.

"That still doesn't change the fact that you went on a date with my enemy!"

She sighed. "I was afraid you'd say that. Is there any way I can make it up to you?"

"Begging certainly won't do it."

"I thought so. That's why I came up with a way. You see this pin?" She gestured to the one on her shirt, in the shape of a daisy. "It's really a miniature microphone, which records everything to this. Luckily, Wayne had just enough gentleman-like qualities not to look in my bag."

She opened her purse and showed off a tape recorder to Megamind. She pressed the stop button and then rewound the tape. The villain listened intently to the recording.

"What do you think of this restaurant, Roxie?"

"It's, um, very nice."

"I reserved this table especially for us."

"Well, that's very kind of you, Wayne."

"Shush, it's Metro Man when in public."

"Sure it is."

"Do you remember when we met? You dropped your pencil and I picked it up for you?"

Roxanne pressed the fast-forward. "I'll skip through all of this."

When she pushed play again, the recorded conversation continued.

"You remember the time when…?"

"Yes."

"Oh, well how about when…?"

"Yes. Can we order our food now?"

"Right. You know, I wanted this night to be perfect. I even put Megamind in jail so he wouldn't disturb us."

"You mean you decided to arrest him for your own selfish reasons?"

"I'm sorry?"

"How come you nabbed him early this time but not before?"

"Well, before, he wasn't doing anything."

"He wasn't doing anything this time either! So you just wait around until he does something, which could possibly bring damage to the city, and then arrest him?"

"Roxanne, why are you acting like this?"

"Why do you never stay to clean up the messes that YOU create?"

"Megamind created them."

"Who smashed that robot into City Hall?"

"Um…"

"Who made a hole in that apartment building?"

"Well…"

"And who left that robot lying around for the construction workers to clean up?"

"Okay, so maybe I'm partially responsible for the damage done on the city and maybe a little lazy in…"

"So you admit it!"

"Roxie…"

"I don't believe it! You say you're a hero, but you don't act like one!"

"Roxie, you've been working too hard. Maybe you just need to calm down."

"Ugh, you're right, Wayne. I forgot to put makeup on. I'll be in the bathroom."

Megamind and Roxanne burst out laughing, the villain wiping away a tear.

"He actually said that?"

"He sure did," the reporter said, waving the recorder at him. "And it's all on tape."

"You clever, ingenious woman, you!"

Roxanne deepened her voice. "Look, I'm Metro Man! My arch nemesis breaks out of prison all the time!"

Megamind joined in on her mockery. "But I wait until he unleashes something horrifyingly dangerous on the city and then smash it around!"

"But I don't stay to clean up the mess, because I'm…"

The finished the sentence together. "Lazy!"

Their laughter continued, but then died down as they looked each other in the eye.

"See?" Megamind said. "You can't date the hero. You're way too devious for him."

"Yeah, that's what I tell everybody," Roxanne said sarcastically. "I'm much too devious."

"Told you so."

She batted her eyes innocently. "So am I forgiven?"

"On one condition. Can I keep that?"

She handed the tape to him. "That's why I recorded it."

"Brilliant! Maybe I could blackmail him with this someday."

"Be my guest."

After he had shoved the tape into his pocket, he locked gaze with her again. Then he recalled his previous actions and looked guiltily down at his feet.

"I apologize for overreacting earlier and…kidnapping you."

Roxanne smirked. "And?"

"And for spying on you."

"And?"

"And for raising my voice at you."

"And?"

"And for," he grunted, "acting gel-loose."

"Thank you. And I'm sorry for not telling you about my date with Wayne."

Megamind put on an equal smirk. "And?"

"And for yelling at you."

"And?"

"And for being insensitive about your feelings."

"And?"

"And for slapping you in the face."

"That's a good girl," he said, playfully patting her on the head.

She laughed, removing his hand. Megamind turned away and drummed his fingers on the wheel.

"So…this whole kidnapping thing seems…awkward now."

"Is this still a kidnapping?"

He slyly grinned at her. "Only if you want it to be."

Roxanne smugly smiled back at him. "Say this was a kidnapping. Where would you kidnap me to? Your lair?"

"Um, Minion is there and he doesn't know I've been seeing you. Your place?"

"Nope. Rachel's there."

"Then what do you want?"

She couldn't think with her stomach growling.

"Shoot, I haven't eaten yet. I left before we could order."

"Then maybe I could…kidnap you to dinner?"

She stared at him for a moment, but then gave him a knowing grin.

"You're asking me out, aren't you?"

"No!" Megamind insisted. "I am merely asking if you want any accommodations during your kidnapping. This has nothing to do with wanting to have dinner with you at all! I mean, if you want it to be a date rather than a kidnapping, I would have no problem with…"

"I'd like that."

"Of course, if you don't want to, then… Wait, what?"

"It's a date."

He blinked in disbelief. "Really?"

"Yeah, it's not every day you get kidnapped by a super villain and have dinner with him all in the same night."

It was getting really long, so I decided to stop it here. I got the "I'm Bad" idea for a ringtone/ring back from nineteenninetytwo (got you, twoie, BOTH happened!).