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Chapter Nine: Back Under The Stars
Tristan stood quietly in front of the bedroom window, watching the rain fall hard outside. The drops hit the window, sliding down the pane so rapidly he could barely see the city on the other side. He was leaning gently against the frame of the window, his eyes trained on following the droplets make curving, unpredictable paths on the glass.
He'd been standing there for what felt like a good hour when he felt eyes on him. He turned his head smoothly to see Rory standing a few feet away from him. She was wrapped only in a sheet. He always thought she looked best just like that. He let his mouth turn up in a half smile and held an arm out to her, welcoming her into his side.
She moved over to him quickly, wrapping her arms around his bare torso and hugging him close to her. "Hey, baby," he mumbled into her hair and she pressed a light kiss against his skin, turning to stand in front of him as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her back against him and resting his chin on the top of her head.
"What are you doing up?" she asked softly, reaching out to trace the rain on the window with her fingers.
She felt him shrug. He leaned his head down on hers and hugged her tightly to him for a few moments before he turned her around and looked down at her, searching her eyes. "Promise me this isn't a dream," he whispered.
She wanted to cry at the vulnerability in his voice. She leaned up to capture his lips in a slow kiss. She pulled back softly and pressed her forehead against his. "This isn't a dream," she whispered back. "I promise you."
He breathed a sigh of relief and smiled lightly. "I've had this dream so many times," he mumbled, pulling her in as close as he possibly could. "And I always wake up."
"This is real," she said, letting her fingers graze over the hair at the nape of his neck. "I'm here."
He nodded. "I missed seeing you in my bed"
She laughed and he gave her a wide smirk. "I missed being in your bed," she agreed. He pressed a kiss to her temple.
Rory leaned up to kiss him slowly. "I missed you," she whispered against his lips and he nodded, pulling her into him tight.
"You have no idea."
Rory took his hand, pulling him away from the window and back to the bed. She sat and he followed suit, lowering himself down next to her. She turned towards him, tucking her legs underneath of her and pulling the sheet tighter against herself. "Tristan," she started and he looked over, almost studying her, waiting for her to continue. "Maybe we should talk," she suggested and he took a deep breath, nodding.
"I'm sorry," she whispered. He nodded, moving closer. "I know that isn't enough. And I know that I have no right to even be here now," she paused.
"I love you," he said and she sighed, exasperated. "You don't need to do this. I know."
"I know that," she said desperately. "And I know that you love me. I love you too. But why," she paused and locked eyes with him. "Tristan, why are you just letting me crawl back to you like this?" She turned away from him. "I hurt you, Tristan. I know that. I was horrible and I hurt you more than I ever dreamed that I could. And then when I come here with my tail between my legs you just open up your arms like nothing I did matters." She shook her head. "I don't deserve for you to love me anymore."
He reached out and pulled her face back toward his own. "Mary," he sighed, pulling her closer. "I could sit here and I could tell you that you hurt me, that I've been a miserable wreck of a person since the day you walked out that door. I could tell you that I've barely even been alive these past months." He stopped and watched her look away from him again, shamefully. He sighed. "And it would all be true. I've been a worthless shell of a person. I've hated myself. I've hated the person I became." He shrugged his shoulders and turned her face back towards him again. "But in all that time, Rory, in everything I was feeling, I hated it. I hate that all of this got so twisted and broken. But through all of it, I never hated you. Not once."
She met his eyes now. "Why?"
He smiled. "Because even though I was hurting, even though I felt like my whole world was burning around me, I still loved you. I never stopped loving you, Mar." He shrugged. "The only thing that truly kept me going was you. I know how stupid that sounds. But as much as the thought of you with him absolutely tore me to shreds inside, if he was what made you happy and if he was what you wanted then that's what I wanted for you. I just wanted you to be happy. And if you were happy, I told myself I could let you go." He smiled. "All I've ever wanted to do was make you happy. And if being the guy that let you go was what could do that for you then that's what I wanted."
"You are what makes me happy," she whispered, taking his face in her hands. "Only you." Rory shook her head slowly, tears streaming down her face. "God, Tristan. I don't deserve you."
He smiled, shrugging his shoulders and brushing her hair back with his fingers. "Yeah, well, you're stuck with me."
She laughed and wiped at the tears on her face. "Good."
He reached out, pulling her towards him and pressing his lips to her forehead. "It's okay," he whispered. "It's all okay."
Rory nodded against his mouth, pulling herself closer to him, snuggling into his hold. And he held her there, pulling her against him, relishing the feel of her in his arms. He'd missed everything about her. Her voice, her touch, her laugh. Everything.
He pressed a kiss into her hair and moved to get up. "You hungry?" She raised an eyebrow at him and he laughed. "Right," he smirked. "Stupid question."
She smiled and nodded her head in agreement. "I'll meet you in the kitchen?" He nodded slowly. "I'm going to call my mom."
He smiled back at her in understanding and moved out of the room. He made his way through the living room towards the kitchen. He stopped quickly and realized that the box was still sitting beside the door.
He walked over and opened it, pulling out the t-shirt he was certain she'd be looking for and the coffee maker. He set the coffee maker on the counter in the kitchen and walked back down the hallway, tossing the t-shirt through the door. It landed on the bed right in front of her and she smiled. She looked up at him and mouthed a thank you. He winked at her and went back to the kitchen.
The sun was up now and streaming through the windows. He smiled, pulling out the eggs and the stand alone griddle she'd gotten him for Christmas a few years back. "So you can make my breakfast faster." She'd said and he'd laughed. He shook his head now at the memory and reached up into the cupboard for the coffee. He started the coffee and set a cup out for her beside the coffee maker.
She came up behind him in the kitchen a few minutes later. She wrapped her arms around his waist from behind and rested her head against his back. He reached down and linked his fingers with hers on his stomach. "How did Lorelai feel about your wake up call?"
She laughed. "Let's just say it was lucky that I was the one calling this morning with the way she answered the phone."
He chuckled, flipping two of the eggs. "What did you tell her?"
She moved out from behind him and over to the coffee maker to pour herself a cup. "I told her I was here." She smiled. "She asked how our night went.." she trailed off and Tristan looked over at her with a smirk.
"And you said it was the best night of your life?" She blushed lightly and he reached out and grazed her cheek. "God, I love making you do that."
She smiled, embarrassed. "I told her that I realized just how much I missed you." He nodded. "In every possible way," she added and he raised an eyebrow at her. She shrugged, taking a sip out of her cup. "It's true," she said.
He nodded his agreement. "No argument."
She stepped closer to him. "Any chance you have some of those eggs done?" He laughed and flipped the last one, handing her a plate and taking his own plate into the living room. They sat on the couch, her legs curled underneath her, covered by his shirt. He sat in his boxers with his elbows on his knees.
He looked over at her, watching her eat. He loved the way that she looked right now. Her hair was a mess, his t-shirt fell off her shoulder slightly, and her legs peeked out just a little from underneath of her. He studied her intensely and she glanced up at him after a few moments, noticing his stare. "What?" she asked, self consciously.
He shook his head. "I just love watching you," he admitted. "You're killing me in that shirt, you know."
She smiled. "Like you don't know it drives me insane when you cook in your boxers." He tipped his head to the side in admittance and took a bite of his eggs.
"So, Friday," she said and he laughed, nodding. "You have work?"
He sighed but nodded as she moved back a little, sitting up fully so she could face him. "I should go in for a while," he said, his voice laced with regret but she nodded quickly.
"Yeah, go," she said and he raised an eyebrow, surprised at her reaction.
"You're not going to beg me to stay?" He asked. "Spend all day in bed with you, doing unspeakable things that you'll very ungracefully skip over when you recap your mother," he teased and she laughed, shoving his shoulder.
"I would love it if you stayed," she said. "But you need to go. You can't skip work forever." She smiled when he looked surprised. "I know you," she added. "And I'm sure you've gotten very little work done in the last few months."
He chuckled, running his fingers up and through his hair but nodded. "You know me too well, Mary."
She smiled. "So you go to work. I can stick around here and," she shrugged. Put your pictures back up?" She gave him a nervous smile.
He nodded. "In the box."
She nodded back at him, glancing toward the door. "I wondered what that was."
"I was planning on throwing it out," he trailed off slightly and she looked up at him again. "I just couldn't ever bring myself to get it past the door."
"I'm glad," she said and he merely smiled.
"If I'm going to work I need a shower and a suit," he said, kissing her temple and making his way back towards the bedroom.
She moved back through the living room and grabbed the bag she'd left by the door last night. She went back into the bedroom and called for him.
"In the bathroom," he answered and she heard the shower start. "You're welcome to join me," he invited. She laughed but made her way into the bathroom, stepping into the shower behind him.
–
An hour later Rory was brushing out her hair as Tristan tied his tie in front of the bedroom mirror. "Can you help me with this?" he asked and she turned, smiling and moving toward him. She reached up and tied it with practiced ease.
"Perfect," he commended. "You always could tie these better than I could."
She smiled and went back to brushing through her hair. He went to the closet, grabbing his suit jacket and pulling it over his shoulders. She turned to look at him and caught her breath. She stared at him as he straightened out his clothes.
He glanced over and caught her stare. "Like what you see, Mary?"
She laughed. "I forgot how amazing you look in a suit is all."
He winked at her and leaned over to kiss her quickly. "I need to get going. If you need me just call my cell."
She nodded, leaning up to kiss him again. "I might stop by this afternoon if you aren't too busy," she offered.
"Please do," he said and she nodded again. "I'll see you later?"
"Count on it," she said. "Hey Tristan." He turned to face her with a raised eyebrow and she smiled at him lightly. "I love you."
He grinned. "I love you." They looked at each other for a few seconds before he finally turned away. She heard the apartment door close a few seconds later.
Rory finished getting ready and made her way into the living room. She picked up the box and set it on the table in front of the couch. She pulled it open and began removing the contents. The first thing that she pulled out was a white button up shirt. She smiled, holding the shirt against her nose to inhale his scent. She knew exactly why this shirt was here.
Tristan stood in the corner of the room, a glass of scotch in hand. His tie hung loose around his neck and the top button of his shirt was undone. She made her way over to him with a knowing, sympathetic smile. "Hey, handsome." She reached out and pulled slightly at his tie as he ran a hand up and through his hair. He didn't return her greeting.
Rory reached up and ran her hand over his shirt collar and to the hair at the nape of his neck. "What happened?"
He shrugged and took a long drink from his scotch glass, finishing it off. "I was born into the wrong family," he said.
She sighed, reaching up to kiss him on the cheek. "Your father again?"
He didn't answer her, only ran his tongue across his lips and stepped back from her. "Tristan."
"I need a drink," he muttered. He turned his back on her, walking away. She rolled her eyes and followed him to the bar. She took the glass from the bartender before he had a chance to grab it and looked at him pointedly.
"Mary, I really don't have the patience for this right now," he sighed, reaching up to loosen his tie even further. He reached out for the glass and she pulled it further away. "Rory," he started.
"Tristan," she mocked. "What the hell is wrong with you?" He said nothing, merely scoffed and looked away. She reached out and pulled his face back to her. "I should slap you for being such a righteous asshole right now."
He shrugged, leaning against the bar. "Well at least give me my drink back before you do."
Rory shook her head at him angrily and reached over the bar, pouring his scotch down the sink. "Don't be such an arrogant prick." And with the final word she turned away from him and made her way for the door.
Tristan ran both hands over his face and into his hair. Why did he do that? Why did he always do that? She was only trying to help. He let out an exasperated sigh and pushed himself off the bar to follow her. He made his way out the back doors and into the garden. He saw her sitting on the bench in the middle of the yard. He made his way over to her and stood behind her.
"Rory," he started, softer this time.
She let out a dark chuckle and shook her head. "Don't, Tristan." She shrugged. "I don't want to hear it."
Tristan let out a breath. She did want to hear it. She just wanted him to think through it enough to actually realize that for himself. "Ror, I'm sorry."
She didn't turn around. "You're an asshole."
He nodded. "That too." He reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. She pulled away and he let out another sigh. "Mary, I really am sorry."
She shook her head. "I was only trying to make you feel better." She wiped at the tears welling in her eyes and silently cursed herself for crying. "You know the only reason I'm here tonight is because I thought you might need me."
Tristan sighed, raking his fingers through his hair. What was wrong with him? How could he do something that would make her cry? God, her tears tore him to pieces inside. He sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her closer. This time she didn't push him away. "I do need you," he muttered. "I'm sorry I was such a jerk. I got into it with my dad and," he paused, shrugging his shoulders desperately. "I shouldn't have taken it out on you."
She nodded. "No. You shouldn't have."
He pulled her tighter against him. "I'm really sorry, Mar. You know having you here is the only way I can force myself through these things."
They sat in silence for a long few minutes before she let out a deep breath and shook her head. She turned to face him slowly. "How bad was it?"
He glanced away and then back to her. "Nothing I can't handle," he said. She reached up to touch his face and he let his eyes close. "You know I'd lose myself in this life if it wasn't for you."
She let a soft smile grace her features and leaned in to kiss him. Her lips moved slowly and softly against his. "I'm not going anywhere," she whispered and she felt him smile against the kiss.
"Thank God," he mumbled and she laughed. He moved from her lips to her neck and began placing warm kisses against the skin there before moving up to nip at her earlobe with his lips.
"Can we go somewhere?" she asked quietly, her voice coming out breathy and desperate. He nodded, pulling back from her neck, taking slow breaths.
"Pool house?" He asked, raising an eyebrow and she nodded back at him. He pulled her to her feet and led her around the back of the main house and into the pool house.
He backed her slowly into the bedroom. Their shoes were lost somewhere by the door and Tristan already had Rory's dress pulled halfway down her body. She reached up to undo the buttons on his shirt as he laid them down on the bed.
"I love this shirt," she mumbled and he smiled.
"Why's that?" he asked against the skin of her collarbone and she shivered and shook her head.
"I have no idea," she whispered almost incoherently and he pulled her dress the rest of the way off. "But it makes you look perfect."
He smirked and went back to his torture on her neck as she pushed the shirt the rest of the way off, soon followed by the rest of their clothing.
She pulled herself out memory land and back into reality, setting the shirt down on the couch and reach into the box to pull out the pictures. She grabbed the top frame and traced her fingers over the image. She smiled. It was the one of them the day Tristan's plane landed for his first leave. She put it down and reached for another one, smiling at the one she pulled out.
"Mary come on! Jess is going to kill us if we're late!"
She rolled her eyes at herself in the mirror. "Calm down, Tristan! We'll be fine!" She hollered out of the bathroom. She heard his footsteps and turned to look at him as he reached the door frame.
"What could you possibly be doing in here?" He asked, raising an eyebrow and glancing over her. "You look ready to me."
She sighed. "And that, darling boy, is why you're a guy."
He shook his head and reached into the bathroom. He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her towards him, flipping off the light.
"What are you doing!"
He turned to face her and rolled his eyes. "Mary, you're perfect. You don't need to look again."
She smiled, shaking her head. "I'm far from perfect."
Tristan laughed and pulled her against him, kissing her forehead. "No, baby, you're perfect."
Rory chuckled and let him drag her along. "If you say so," she sing-songed and he shook his head at her. "Now come on we're going to be late!"
He laughed and let her pull him to the car. The second they arrived at his book signing Jess came rushing up to them. "You're late."
Tristan gave Rory a pointed look and she rolled her eyes. "By like two minutes."
Jess shook his head at the both of them and motioned for them to follow. They made their way to the front of the room to see Lorelai and Luke front and center. Lorelai had her camera out and ready. The entire thing had been documented almost second by second.
As Jess's publisher was giving his welcoming speech Rory leaned over and pulled Jess towards her so she could whisper in his ear. "You, Jess Mariano, are one of the most amazing and inspiring people I know. And I'm so proud of you." He looked her in the eye and smiled sincerely. She reached up to kiss him on the cheek. And that's when Lorelai had snapped the picture.
Tristan had his left hand laced with Rory's at her hip, his right hand rested against Jess's left arm. His eyes were on Jess's as they shared a 'this is it' sort of smile. Rory was leaned up kissing Jess's left cheek and his left arm was wrapped around her waist, his right hand shoved into his pocket. It was the best picture out of all that were taken that day. It showed their relationships perfectly.
Rory smiled, pulling out another frame. They were dancing. One of her grandparents' many functions. He wore a his dress blues, looking nothing short of charming. She wore a silver strapless dress that fell to the floor. He had his arms wound around her and they were laughing. One of the best pictures of their relationship. She remembered everything about that night.
"Dance with me," he mumbled into her ear as he came up behind her, wrapping one arm around her waist. She glanced up at him and he grinned. "Please?"
Rory laughed but nodded. "Since you said please," she said and he winked, taking her hand and leading her to the dance floor.
Tristan wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in close to him. "Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?" His eyes fell to find hers.
She smiled. "About a million times," she nodded.
"Hmm," he hummed, resting his head on hers. "Then I'm not nearly finished."
She sighed, shaking her head against his. "I love you," she muttered and he smiled.
"I love you back."
Rory let herself move out of his arms, keeping hold of his hand as he spun her around and back into him again. She reached up to grip the collar of his uniform. "You know," she started and he looked down to raise an eyebrow at her. "You look pretty incredible in this uniform." She grinned up at him. Mischief sparkling in her eyes.
He raised both eyebrows and smirked. "Oh you think so, do you?" He asked, pulling her as close as possible to him. He leaned down to press his mouth against her ear. "I look much better out of this uniform."
She looked up, meeting his eyes. She laughed. She wasn't quite sure why she was even laughing but she was. A contagious laugh that made him join her. For a moment they just watched each other, laughing. Appreciating something that only the two of them could ever understand. A moment that would make any bystander jealous of the connection they shared. That was when someone snapped a picture. And like all of the best photos in their relationship, they had no idea.
The rest of that evening, she recalled, had been more than eventful. They'd moved out of the limelight and into the coat closet for a suspiciously long period of time. One of the most entertaining society parties she'd ever attended.
Rory smiled and set that picture with the others, pulling out a few more frames. There were so many pictures she'd forgotten they'd even taken. The one of him tickling her mercilessly on the floor in front of the couch on one of their many Stars Hollow movie nights.
She pulled out the last picture in the box and laughed. Their first Valentine's Day together. They looked so young. She was wearing a red sweater and jeans and he was in jeans and brown long sleeved t-shirt. He was standing behind her, both of his arms wrapped around her waist, their fingers laced as they smiled for Lorelai behind the camera.
Rory stood, making her way around the room, placing pictures all around, some on the walls, some on the end tables and shelves. When she was finished she looked around the room and nodded to herself. "Perfect," she mumbled, sitting herself back down on the couch. She pulled the box back over to her and finished sorting through the things. She hung the clothes back in his closet, put the books back on the table beside his chair.
Once everything was back in it's place she put the box by the door and went to the bedroom to get her jacket. She pulled it over her shoulders and made her way into his office, taking the apartment key from the left top drawer.
She flipped the light switch and grabbed the box as she made her way out the door. She took the elevator to the first floor and smiled as she passed the doorman. "Afternoon, Miss Gilmore, nice to see you back around here."
She nodded. "It's good to be back, Charlie." He tipped his hat to her and she laughed, making her way out of the building to walk the few blocks to Tristan's office.
She walked into the building and took the elevator to the top floor, stopping at Tristan's secretary. "Is there something I can help you with?" She asked.
"I'm here to see Tristan is he in?"
"Is Mr. Dugrey expecting you?"
Rory smiled and nodded. His secretary nodded back and called his office. "Mr. Dugrey there's a young lady here to see you." She paused, waiting for his response. "Yes, sir." She turned to Rory. "Go on in, Miss.." she trailed off.
"Gilmore," Rory supplied and the secretary nodded.
"Miss Gilmore."
Rory smiled her thanks and pushed open Tristan's door. "Hey, handsome."
He looked up from his work, pushing it aside and smiling at her. "Mary," he said, motioning her forward. She came closer, moving to his desk and sitting on top of it, crossing her legs.
"You got a new secretary," she said and Tristan nodded.
"Yeah, Stephanie," he confirmed.
Rory nodded. "She seems very...unorthodox."
He smiled. "She is. It's a nice change," he admitted. "She very well might be the only one that hasn't tried to sleep with me."
Rory chuckled. "Mmm, I like her already," she said, leaning in to kiss him.
He kissed her back lightly and pulled back, grinning at her. "How was your morning?" he asked. She shrugged.
"It was nice. I had quite the trip down memory lane."
Tristan nodded. "Those pictures will do that to you," he said knowingly. "Trust me."
Her face fell slightly into an expression of guilt. "Yeah..."
He pulled her off of his desk and over to sit on his lap. "Mary," he started, reaching up to hold her face towards him so she wouldn't turn away. "You know you're no fun when you're brooding."
She let a smile slip across her lips and sighed. "Sorry."
He tipped his head. "So it's Friday," he stated and she nodded, confusion evident in her expression. He smirked at her. "Any chance you have plans for the weekend?"
She nodded slowly in understanding and shrugged. "Not yet," she said, hope lining her voice.
He smiled widely. "I have an idea," he said and she raised her eyebrows at him. "That is if you're up for being around me all weekend," he added.
"Are you kidding? I don't think I could spend enough time with you right now."
He cocked an eyebrow back at her. "Is that right?"
She laughed, nodding, a little worriedly at his expression. "What do you have in mind, Dugrey?"
"I think we should spend the weekend with your mom."
She looked up at him surprised. "Really?"
He shrugged. "Unless you don't want to..." he trailed off and she shook her head quickly.
"No," she said. "I absolutely want to."
He grinned. "Good. Then it's a plan."
"When can we leave?" she asked, her voice laced with excitement, already pulling out her cell phone to call her mother.
Tristan laughed as she stood off of his lap and hopped back onto his desk. "I'm pretty much done here. Give me some time to get packed?"
Rory nodded, phone pressed to her ear.
"Lorelai Leigh Gilmore that better be you!" Lorelai answered.
"Hi, Mom," Rory greeted, laughter evident in her voice.
"Finally, the prodigal daughter decides to phone home!"
Rory rolled her eyes and Tristan cocked an eyebrow curiously. She moved the phone from her ear and pressed the speaker phone button.
"I've been away from you for a day. And I called you this morning. That hardly classifies me as prodigal daughter." She laughed, glancing at Tristan who merely smiled and shook his head.
"Well you'd better be calling to tell me you owe me your life for that early morning phone call" Lorelai said, and Rory could almost see her putting her hands on her hips.
"My being up so early," she paused and glanced at Tristan who winked at her. "Was not my fault."
"He's right there isn't he?" Lorelai asked knowingly.
Rory laughed and held the phone out to Tristan. "Hi, Lorelai," he said.
"I imagine after your night of re-corrupting my daughter you've decided to rekindle your relationship?"
Tristan smiled and raised his eyebrows at Rory. "Well if you're asking I believe it was Rory who re-corrupted me last night. You know she's really very-"
"Tristan!" Rory's squeal caused Lorelai to chuckle.
"I don't need to know!" Lorelai stated.
"We're back together," Tristan confirmed, pulling Rory back onto his lap and kissing her lightly.
"And," Rory said. "We were thinking we'd come spend some quality time with you this weekend."
"Perfect!" Lorelai exclaimed and Rory smiled. "I'll get the movies! You and the innocent corrupted can bring the junk food!"
"We'll be there in a few hours," Rory said, saying goodbye to her mother and hanging up the phone. "Ready to get packed?" She asked, turning to Tristan.
He grinned, nodding and standing up after her. "Let's go."
He watched as she practically raced out the door and smiled softly. "Tristan!" He laughed and followed her out. God, it was incredible to have her again. And this time, he promised himself, he'd never let her go.