Bucky smiled into his pillow at the sounds and smells of breakfast being made in the kitchen. The rich scent of fresh coffee was overlaid with the mouthwatering smell of bacon - after a few days away subsisting on MREs, it smelled like heaven. Steve was usually good about keeping the noise down the morning after a long mission, but apparently he was having some trouble with the pans if the banging was anything to go by.
When there was movement on the bed beside him, he turned and saw his boyfriend open a lazy eye before frowning. "Thought tha' was you making all the noise," Steve grumbled before pressing a hand to his mouth to stifle a yawn.
"Must be Darce," Bucky huffed, rolling onto his back and swiping a hand down his face. "Didn' think she'd be up early," he slurred.
Steve glanced at the clock on the nightstand and groaned, "It's already 10:30 - we're the ones who slept in."
"Worth it," Buck replied even as he pushed himself up and rolled his neck, producing a few satisfying pops. Grimacing slightly he rubbed at the scar tissue where his metal arm joined his shoulder; while his diluted version of the Super Soldier Serum had repaired most of the damage caused by the weight of the older model pulling his spine out of alignment, most of the nerves were damaged beyond repair. Even though Stark had built him a lighter version of the arm, it still pulled first thing in the morning.
"Hurting?" Steve asked, propping himself up on his elbow and frowning.
"No more than usual."
"Wish you'd let Helen look at you," Steve muttered as he stood up and stretched. Buck turned and watched the play of his back muscles, his happiness that he couldn't see the vertebrate that had once protruded muted by a hint of nostalgia for the old Steve he had known. When he turned, he raised an eyebrow, "You gonna sit there and stare, or go check on Darcy?"
"At least lemme take a leak first," he groaned, pushing off the bed. Steve caught his hand as he walked past, tugging him close enough to brush his lips over his cheek.
"Glad you're home," he said softly.
"Me too."
Steve slipped into the bathroom as Bucky exited, snagging a t-shirt before heading to the kitchen. Darcy had her back to him as she stood in front of the stove; she hissed as the bacon popped and splattered her with grease. "Everything good?" he asked
"Jesus!" Darcy shrieked, jumping away from the stove and pressing a hand to her chest. She glared at him before huffing, "Make some noise or something next time."
"Sorry," he shrugged before zeroing in on the pile of cooked bacon; his stomach growled loudly and, smirking, she pushed the plate towards him.
"Hope you don't mind that I raided your fridge. There's pancakes keeping warm in the oven, and I can make some eggs if you want."
"Eggs would be great," he said around a mouthful of bacon. She rolled her eyes before stepping around him and retrieving the egg carton from the refrigerator. Given an unobstructed view of the abnormally clean living room - he and Steve weren't slobs but there was generally some clutter that accumulated between cleaning sessions - he raised an eyebrow and glanced around the sparkling kitchen. "How long have you been up?"
"A while," she said vaguely. Buck noticed that she was avoiding looking at him as she crouched to retrieve a pan from the cabinet. "How do you want your eggs?"
"Scrambled is fine. What's 'a while'?" he asked.
Darcy sighed and shrugged, moving back to the stove. "A few hours."
"Darce…"
"Ray called me around 5:30 freaking out because I wasn't there. I forgot to leave a note. And after that, I couldn't get back to sleep."
Buck felt a begrudging amount respect for the guy - at least he still seemed concerned about her physical well-being. It was quickly smothered by his annoyance. "Yeah? He say anything else?"
"We're going to meet up for a coffee later to talk…"
"You want us to go with you?" Steve asked, frowning as he emerged from the bedroom.
"No!" Darce said quickly. "Thanks, but no."
"You sure? We're more than happy to," he pressed, and Buck nodded.
"I'm not sure having you two there is going to make it any easier," Darcy said softly, giving them a sad smile as a sheen of tears appeared in her eyes. Steve took a step towards her but Buck was faster. He grabbed her arm and tugged her away from the stove, enfolding her in a hug.
"'S gonna be okay," he muttered, stroking her back. Steve stepped around them and took up Darcy's place at the stove. "He's a scumbag and you deserve so much better."
"He's not, though," she mumbled into his shoulder.
"Huh?" Buck asked, pulling back to look her in the eye.
"He's not really a scumbag - at least not for us...you know… ending…He wanted her. He wanted his soulmate."
"That doesn't change any-"
"It does." Darcy grit her teeth and pulled away from him. "I should have known better. I should have seen it coming."
"Darce," Steve said, reaching out for her.
"No, Steve... you should understand." Her next words stopped him. "You had Peggy. You know what it's like to find that."
Bucky met his eyes over Darcy's head, the muscle in his jaw ticking, before glancing down at the faded grey words on his partner's arm.
"James and I are the weird ones," she said quietly. "We found it and walked away."
The silence that fell was simultaneously awkward and pregnant - Darcy seemed to realize how badly her words could be construed while Steve raised his eyebrows at Buck, who seemed oblivious to what his boyfriend wanted him to do.
"I guess," Bucky said eventually, shrugging as he took a step backwards and moved to lean against the counter.
"Next time, maybe I should use one of those dating sites for people that have lost their soul mates," Darcy said, her eyes darting between the two men as she tried to break the tension. "I mean, you might need to write an affidavit or something explaining why my mark is still black to let me on the site but, hey - it's one way to make sure this doesn't happen again."
"That's one way," Steve agreed as he dished up the eggs.
OOO
"Hey - "
"I'm sorry."
Ray sat quickly in the empty chair across from her and reached over to take Darcy's hand, his eyes pleading with her. "I'm sorry," he said again. "I can't believe what a monumental asshole I was yesterday. I didn't handle it well and I know that I should of but...I'm sorry."
Darcy had planned a lot of things to say during their coffee meeting, but all of them flew out of her head as soon as she saw how genuinely upset Ray was. "It's okay," she said finally before untangling their hands and pushing a Dirty Chi tea towards him.
He looked down at it before shaking his head. "You scared the shit out of me, Darce - taking off like that without a note or anything? You could have been fucking dead for all I knew!"
"I know, not my brightest moment but… well… James offered me a place to crash and going back inside didn't really seem appealing, so I took him up on it."
As she watched, Ray's already pale face grew paler, and his eyes darted around the busy coffee shop. "So he knows?"
"Yeah. He's not here," she assured him. "And neither is Steve."
"God, they must be royally pissed at me."
"Not going to debate that," she shrugged while turning her cup with her thumbs. They were quiet for a long moment, listening to the busy sounds of the coffee shop until he spoke again.
"I don't know where to start," Ray admitted.
"Me either," Darcy confessed.
"I love you."
Those three words brought a wave of tears to her eyes, and she looked away from Ray's earnest gaze. "I love you too," she choked. He cleared his throat and blinked hard as he reached across the table and squeezed her hand.
"I don't want to hurt you. Christ, Darce, I'd never want that. You have to know that."
"I know."
The silence stretched between them again.
"I don't want to lose you. Not completely… that came out wrong," Ray groaned, using his free hand to swipe a hand through his hair. "I don't want this to be the end. Of us. I still want to have you in my life."
Darcy gave a sad chuckle, the phrase 'we can still be friends' echoing in her head. "If I'm being honest, I don't know if I can do that right now," she said. "This move...you being here...it might just be easier to let this go."
"If that's what you want," Ray said, his voice catching slightly. "This isn't fair to either one of us but I want you to be happy, Darcy. And if that's not keeping in contact, or telling everyone that I'm a terrible guy, I'm okay with that. Hell, you can tell them that I'm the devil incarnate if you want to."
She gave a soft laugh and shook her head, her hair falling into her face. "Maybe not the devil himself...just a lower level minion."
"Okay," he chuckled before repeating, "I just want you to be happy."
"I want that for you, too."
When the silence stretched too long, Darcy cleared her throat and sniffled before gently removing her hand from his. "I think I should go."
"Okay. I'll walk you out." They threw their untouched drinks away and pushed through the crowd, emerging onto the mostly empty streets where they turned to face one another.
"Well…" Darcy sighed, rocking back and forth on her toes.
"Yeah…" Ray murmured.
"Good luck with school," she said. "I know you'll do great."
"Same. You're going to kick that dissertation's ass."
"Try not to get murdered in your apartment."
"I'll try," he chuckled. "Make sure you check the milk's expiration date before using it."
"One time and I'm never going to live it down."
"Nope! Your face when you tasted your coffee…" Ray laughed. Darcy smiled and shook her head.
He hesitated a moment before reaching out and pulling her towards him. Gently, giving her enough time to stop him, he cupped her cheek and leaned down to kiss her.
Their foreheads pressed together afterwards, and she heard Ray sniffle. "I'm gonna miss you, Darcy Ann Lewis."
Taking a steeling - and shaky - breath, Darcy stepped out of his arms and straightened her shoulders. "I'll see you around, Ray. Take care."
Quickly, she turned and walked away, all too aware that if she turned back she wouldn't be able to leave. She swiped at the rogue tears that trickled down her cheeks and her nose started to run. Silently, she cursed her lack of forethought in grabbing some napkins.
"You look like you could use a drink, dorogaya," a familiar voice said, as a tissue was thrust into her face. Darcy jumped and nearly shrieked when she saw none other than Natasha Romanoff walking beside her.
"Did James and Steve send you to check up on me?"
"No. They told me to leave you alone, but I figured you may want a friend of the female persuasion to vent to."
"Oh god yes," Darcy breathed.
"Good. How do you feel about hookah? There's a Russian mob front not too far from here that has good vodka and tobacco flavors."
"I'm down."
OOO
"How is she?" Steve asked after Bucky stepped out of Darcy's room.
"Out cold. What did you give her?" he asked Natasha.
"A sympathetic ear and a day to forget her heartache," she shrugged, propping her legs up on the chair beside her.
"And how much alcohol did she have?" Steve frowned.
"Enough. And tomorrow, she'll wake up and be able to start over again."
"For Christ's sake Nat - " Bucky started before a swift look cut him off.
"I care about her, just like you do. And today is what she needed, not the two of you making sad, confused eyes at her all afternoon."
Bucky and Steve's eyes met before they looked away; Natasha raised an eyebrow at the non-verbal exchange and shook her head before pushing to her feet.
"Before you approach her with anything, she needs time."
"Approach her - ?"
"What's that - ?"
"Time," she cut them off. "To be herself again before you two sweep in. Now, if you'll excuse me, I believe Clint has some gyoza waiting for me downstairs."
When the elevator closed behind her, Bucky turned to Steve, "What the hell do you think she meant by that? 'Approach her' - approach her about what?"
The tips of Steve's ears turned pink with embarrassment, having clearly been called out on something he'd been musing on without much hope or intention given how things had stood until just last night, but he shook his head.
"No clue."
Author's Notes: Hello and Happy New Year! Hopefully you all had a great holiday season. Thanks so much for your patience with the slow updates, but my focus was on my family, work and school. And, on all those fronts, I have great news! Dad is cancer free and is finished with chemo, I love my job, and I completed one Masters degree and will be starting another next week! I can only hope that I'll be able to be more productive with the last few chapters of this fic - I've already got the first portion of the next chapter mentally mapped out. Here's hoping that fickle muse cooperates.