Alistair paced the length of the command tent, his anger rising with each minute that passed without Leliana's return. He'd sent her out the night before, and now that dawn was breaking over the camp, he couldn't help but feel anxious. Teagan would enter every once in a while, only to tell him of Felyca's status, "No change, she's still holding on, but Alistair..."
It was at that point that Alistair would turn and glare at him, "No. She will live." And then he would return to pacing as Teagan slipped out of sight. It went on like this for agonizingly long hours, with few interruptions from the different commanders of the elves, dwarves and men that had followed Felyca so willingly to death.
Finally Wynne came to him, her face still pale and looking drained. "We've healed the physical injuries, Alistair, but there's something wrong with her..." She didn't know how to describe it. The young king-to-be was on her in two steps, "What's wrong with her?"
Wynne blew out her breath, "I don't know."
Alistair's face paled, "Then will she... Can she..."
Wynne shrugged, "Honestly Alistair, I don't know. It seems as though something has control over her soul. It's not a demon as far as we can tell but it is something not wholly of Felyca and it is very powerful."
She put a hand on his cheek, mothering him still even after all they had been through, "She is stable for now, but we cannot seem to get her to wake. The reason I came here was to ask if we could move her in here. We need the extra cots in the healers tent and I thought that maybe..."
"Maybe I could help her." Alistair finished, spinning on his heel. He threw open the small dividing curtain and Wynne saw the great bed that the servants had set up for him. "Bring her here, Wynne." He gave her one of the most serious looks she'd ever seen from him, "I want her where I can see her." As Wynne ducked out of the tent, Alistair rearranged the pillows, remembering another time when he'd prepared a bed for his beloved.
They were just outside of Orzammar, making their way towards Haven, and she had sent Bodahn and his son ahead of them, with Sten, Shale, Morrigan and Zevran as their escort. Earlier that day Leliana had fallen down a small cliff face and while she lived, it wasn't without a broken ankle. Wynne had been able to set the bones, but she had insisted that the bard remain off of it for a few more days just to be sure the healing took. And so it was that when Bodahn clicked his horses forward, Leliana and Wynne were seated in the back amongst his wares, leaving the two Grey Wardens alone for the first time in all their travels and Alistair was nervous. They were only about a days walk behind the rest of their companions, but he was nervous. And it wasn't even the fact that it was only he, Felyca and Calen. It was more the fact that they would have to set up camp by themselves... and it was bitterly cold outside. One tent would be so much warmer with two bodies...
But he didn't know how to ask her that without sounding like the fool.
Over the course of their trek, he'd watched her fell hundreds of enemies, but every night at camp he'd seen her play with Calen, listen to Leliana's tales and have political discussions with Sten, actions all contrary to the savagery with which she could behead a Genlock. She was a woman, and all he'd been told about them was to treat them with respect and to not get fresh with them, no matter how much he wanted to. But Felyca tested his Templar discipline almost to the breaking point. At first he didn't think that she did it on purpose, that gentle sway of her hips, the way she would toss back her hair; but since when did Felyca ever not do something on purpose? And then the way she would curl her legs around a tree limb, hold herself against the trunk as she got the lay of the land... he felt sparks shoot down his spine as he pictured it. And then there was the matter of her hair. They hadn't had the time or the money, and it was mostly the money, for them to properly see to their appearances and her hair had been the most obvious testament to this. When he'd first met her, Felyca's hair had just brushed her shoulders, but now she had to pull it back in a ponytail to keep it out of her face. He'd caught her brushing it out once, when they were heading for Soldiers Peak, and he'd never forgotten how it had shimmered in the candlelight. It looked so soft, and he could just imagine how it would feel running through his fingers. There were even times on watch, as the two of them huddled around the small campfire, he couldn't help but notice how perfectly she fit beneath his shoulder and next to him. Almost as though she'd been cut from the opposing mold he was, formed by the Maker himself to meld against him. And there was the way she would kiss him, with lips that tasted like berry wine and a body that would squirm beneath his hesitant touch.
They stopped moving for the day and she was digging through her pack for something when he approached her. "All right, I guess I really don't know how to ask you this."
She looked up at him, eyebrows raised, "Is it really important? I was just about to take a bath."
He felt himself flush, "Er... no? I suppose not, I just thought we were in camp... and that we might... talk?"
She looked him over and put a hand to his forehead, "You're sweating, and you look really pale. Are you sick? Maybe we should move ahead and get Wynne."
He gripped her hand and held it tightly, "NO! Uh... No. I'm not sick, I just... I mean, yes, I'm a little nervous. Sure! Not that this is anything bad or frightening or... well, yes. How do I say this? You'd think this would be easier but every time I'm around you I feel as though my head's about to explode, I can't think straight."
She made a face at him, not really understanding, "Oh? Thanks a lot."
He dropped her hand and put his face in his hands, "I didn't mean, ugh... let me start over?"
She smirked, "I think you should."
He took a deep slow breath, and let it out, "Here's the thing, being near you makes me crazy. But I can't imagine being without you... not ever. I don't know how to say this another way, but I want to spend the night with you... here, in camp. Maybe this is too fast, I don't know... but I know what I feel." There it was, his heart on a golden platter, waiting for her to stomp it to pieces.
He watched a thousand emotions play on her face as she considered what he'd said, "I thought you wanted it to be special. The camp isn't exactly private..." her breath was coming quickly, "Alistair, I thought you wanted to wait..."
He put a finger over her mouth, "I wanted to wait for perfection, but when will it ever be perfect? If things were we never would have even met! I... I've never done this before and you know that. I want it to be with you, while we have the chance, in case..."
She removed his finger from her lips, "Don't talk like that! There could be time later..." He watched her eyes and for the first time saw something there that he'd never seen on her before. Fear.
"Could be?" he smirked, and rested his hands on her shoulders, a safe neutral place. "We sort of stumbled into one another and despite this being the least perfect time, I found myself falling for you, between all the fighting and everything else." He carefully brushed aside a stray bit of hair from her face, letting his finger stroke her cheek, "Besides, will there be time later?"
She bit her lower lip, and took a small inching step closer, "To be honest, I thought you'd never ask." she looked up at him then, and he noticed the fear was gone, replaced by something he could only hope was love. He leaned in to kiss her, and found himself falling into heaven.
The predawn light found them spooning, she with her back against his chest and his arm holding her tightly across her belly. He stirred and lifted his head enough to look at her, her hair spread across the pillow and eyes closed. He could only pray that she was having a good dream, not one of the Blight induced nightmares that seemed to be plaguing her more and more of late. He gently kissed her shoulder and she shifted, rolling onto her back to look up at him. "Morning."
She opened those fascinating grey eyes of hers and smiled at him. A genuinely happy smile. "Morning, to you too."
"You know, according to all the sisters at the monastery, I should have been struck by lightening by now."
Her eyes sparkled and she turned even more, so now her naked body was pressing against him seductively, "Nah. Not for that performance."
He chuckled, "Meaning it was so great that the Maker would forgo his usual punishment?" She buried her head in his shoulder and said something, and he pulled her back, "What?"
She smiled sleepily, "I said, 'you're to handsome to be rid of.'"
He kissed her hotly, then pulled back as his mind continued to wake up, "You do know the rest of our little band is going to talk, right? They do that."
Her brow wrinkled, "Who's going to tell them? You?"
He shook his head and laid on his back, pulling her onto his chest as he did so. "I won't have to. Morrigan will give me 'that look' I just know it." Somewhere off in the distance a crow cawed, "And if she watched the whole thing I'll feed her to Calen." He looked down at her, "You really should kick her ass for me sometime. I'd pay to watch that fight."
Felyca giggled and shimmied herself up his elongated frame, "Tell you what, first smart comment and I'll feed her to the darkspawn."
"See. This is why I love you." He kissed her nose, "So what now? Where do we go from here?"
She lifted her head and grinned mischievously, "Who said we had to go anywhere?"
He looked at her, unsure if he knew her meaning, then inhaled swiftly as he registered where her other hand was, "We're a full day behind the others already." he hissed, forcing himself to ignore what she was doing.
He groaned and tried to roll away, but Felyca didn't let him, "Oh no you don't. It's taken me months to get you like this. I'm going to take full advantage of it." With that she kissed him, and the world melted away again.
Leliana leaned on her bow and took a deep breath. It felt like she'd been walking all over Ferelden, again, and she needed a rest. The fires were finally put out, but the acrid smell of burnt flesh and smoke still filled her nostrils. She swallowed bile and shook her head.
Leliana, you sure do get yourself into some bad scraps.
She'd scoured the entire city, and there was no sign of Morrigan. The woman had simply vanished. No one had seen her since she'd left the city gates and no one was particularly anxious to find her.
Alistair isn't going to like this.
Leliana sat down on a tumbled piece of stone and looked around the small square she'd found herself in, listening to the growing wails coming from the people emerging from their hiding places, and trying to ignore her growling stomach. She could just picture the looks on the faces of the women as they saw their carefully tended lawns and gardens now trampled under the feet of the darkspawn and soldiers. The howls of the men as they saw their lovingly built homes now collapsed by the Ogres or burned to the ground by the fires. She could handle these, but what cut into her heart were the tears of the children as they called out for now missing fathers and mothers, sisters and brothers.
Dear Andraste, bless those that have lost someone in this war. May your grace and love protect them, as you have protected me.
She leaned back on the wall behind her and closed her eyes, remembering a time when the shouts of men and women hadn't bothered her so much. When she'd fought alongside a powerful warrior, and a true friend.
Haven was... she didn't know quite how to describe it. Words absolutely failed her when she sat down that night to think it out. Felyca sat near her, her feet planted on the dirt and her arms braced against her knees as her head hung low. "Felyca... what is it?"
The woman's head popped up and stared at Leliana in surprise, "Huh? What?"
Leliana smiled and giggled, "You weren't asleep, were you?"
Felyca shook her head, resting her chin on her arms as she stared into the fire, "I was just... thinking." she shrugged with the last and glanced back over at Leliana. "Why? Something on your mind?"
Leliana shrugged, and slid over closer to her friend. "You look as though you would like to talk about something."
Felyca half grinned, "Maybe. I was just thinking about Haven. How could an entire village be that... that..."
Leliana laughed, "You know I was just thinking about that as well. It's good to know that I'm not the only one who can't seem to find the words to describe what was there." Felyca was again lost in the dance of the flames and it was making Leliana nervous. "Why do you do that?" she asked.
Felyca turned back to her, "Do what?"
Leliana motioned to the fire, "Stare into the fire like that. It seems as though you're losing yourself in some intoxicating scene."
Felyca snorted and adjusted in her seat, crossing her legs and leaning back on her hands. "Intoxicating... I suppose you could say that." She brushed back a twig that was under her palm and rubbed her hands together. "It's just something I've always done. My father would often hold me on his lap when he told me stories, and I would watch the fire. Sometimes I could imagine that I saw the people he was telling me about in the flames." She let her head tip back, watching the stars shift in the heavens. "You would have loved the great hall in Highever, Leliana." she whispered, glancing at the bard on her right. Leliana felt her eyes widen and her keen ears picked up on the rest of the camp calming around them as their leader finally opened up about the family she'd been mourning all this time. "The main hall isn't the largest, but it is the warmest and the acoustics are perfect for a bard's voice. Whenever I would walk inside, I knew I was safe." She adjusted again, picking up the twig from earlier and making a sketch in the dirt between them.
"When you first enter Highever, there's the main courtyard, flanked by twin guard bunks on the main floor. On these walls are stairs that lead to the upper floors of the guard towers, and the only way to get around the castles parapets." She continued to draw as she spoke, the look on her face one of pure joy as she described her home, "Just beyond here are two doors, this one leads to the chapel.. This one leads to the back rooms, the servants quarters and more guard rooms. If you follow either one back and around, you'll get to the atrium. "Back down here is the main hall, with a great fireplace. Even with Highever's open roof, the warmest place to be is on the back wall of that fire. I can't tell you how many times I would huddle next to that wall with Calen on my feet and Fergus next to me, reading me different books out of our grandfather's library - which is here by the way, with a small study through this door. The dinning hall is here, just above the kitchen here and the larder. I can't tell you how many times Calen snuck into that larder, just to bother Nan, our cook. Over on this side, down a small corridor is the treasury, with only one key to it's door." Felyca reached into the pouch at her side and removed a fairly hefty key, and flipped it in the air, then tucked it back into the pouch on her side. "Anyway, through the atrium, you follow the hall around, passing the smaller family dinning room. This is the first door to the family's quarters, and each of these rooms here are reserved for visitors." Her breath stopped for a moment, and she drew an x through one of the rooms, "When Duncan stayed with us, he was in this one." she paused for a moment, then continued, "You'll go through a second door, and be in a small hallway. On your right is my brothers room, ahead is my parents, the largest and grandest in the house, and this one," she drew another x on the ground, "this is my room, or was."
Leliana watched her lean back again, her eyes focusing on the drawing in the dirt, "Yes. That is Highever Castle, as it was. And as it will be again." She threw the twig into the fire and watched as it ignited in the flames, "Once this business with the Blight is over with, I have every intention of returning to Highever, and I will see Howe take justice for what he has done." Felyca stood, taking up Spear Thrower and her quiver, "Mind to put it some target practice before we turn in?" Leliana grabbed up her own bow and followed Felyca to a small clearing, just inside the light of the fire.
They stood side by side, each notching an arrow, and letting them fly in unison. Felyca's arrow struck true, burying itself in the wood of the tree she'd aimed for, while Leliana's flew just aside of her target. Felyca laughed teasingly, "You never have quite gotten used to that new one, have you?" Leliana shook her head and set the recurve on the ground; Felyca smiled, "I shouldn't be teasing you about it. Marjolane... that bow was specifically crafted for her. Having someone else use it is almost like... I don't know. The closest thing I can think of is a whole village of people thinking a high dragon is Andraste." She shook her head, coming over to stand beside the bard. "Now let me.. yes, now I get it. You're treating this like a shortbow when really it's a recurve. The mechanics are the same but the kick is different, so..." She shifted Leliana's fingers down a bit, and helped her adjust the arrow, "if you grip it just a bit tighter here and let these fingers... Yes, that should do it."
"Who taught you that?" Leliana asked as Felyca stepped away from her, letting the girl fire another arrow. This time it struck it's target. "My mother."
"This is the first you've ever mentioned your mother."
Felyca had returned to her weapon and was stringing another arrow, "Yes, I know." She fired another three arrows before she said another word, but Leliana knew that all she had to do was wait. After a few tense moments, Felyca lowered her weapon and raised a throwing knife. Leliana watched as the knife flew through the air and struck the last arrow she'd fired, splitting it down the middle. "My mother taught me how to do that too." she whispered, looking at the ground. "All my life, I'd never once seen my mother miss her target." she took a slow breath, then looked up at the stars. "I never doubted my parents love for me or my brother. I may have had a nanny, but it was always my mother that tucked me in at night, always my father that told me stories before I'd go to sleep. My friends were my brother, our father's first man, Ser Gilmore and Calen. But even more than that, I knew who I was in the world, who my parents were and whom I could trust. Then, in one horrible night, it was gone, my parents murdered and I was running for my life with a man I barely knew. I was thrust into an impossible situation with no hope of avenging my family, and surrounded by a rag tag band of people I couldn't trust." Leliana huffed and Felyca giggled, "And to top it all off, I was put as their leader. ME! Can you imagine? I could barely keep my self from falling apart how could I keep morale high amongst those that followed me?" she started laughing again, "I wasn't ready for that! I may have been born and bred for it, but I wasn't ready! But then something wonderful happened. I learned I wasn't alone."
Leliana nodded, "I see. I suppose that explains it." She was shot a look and quickly explained, "Why you reacted the way you did, when you saw your father in the Gauntlet."
Felyca straightened her back and looked away, her eyes roving over the smaller campsite. "My father was a Cousland, but even before that he was a great and caring man. He didn't deserve the death he had, neither did my mother, but seeing him... He told me once that he trusted me completely to carry on the Cousland name. I think it's high time I start acting like one. And a Grey Warden to boot, eh?" her mouth quirked in a cocky grin, and Leliana couldn't help but laugh.
"And you think you haven't as of yet?"
Felyca shook her head, "Don't get me wrong, I've had my moments, but you've yet to see how a Cousland will handle the death of a king, the betrayal of friends and family, and this civil war."
Leliana had watched Felyca gather her arrows, all those that she could anyway, then tuck herself into the confines of her and Alistair's tent. There was no doubt in her mind what the two Wardens would be doing this night or the rest of their nights on the road. Leliana walked back into the main camp, stashing her weapons near the entrance to her own shared tent. "You are a great and noble woman, Felyca." she whispered to the air, watching as the small light in the Wardens' shared tent went out, "I only hope he deserves you."