DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters, which are the property of the amazing and wonderful Stephenie Meyer.
I also can't possibly give enough thanks to my kick-ass Beta Ashlie.
Chapter 10
"Mom! Wait, I can explain," I yelled as I followed her into the kitchen. She walked over to the cupboard and pulled out a bottle of Jose Cuervo.
"What's there to explain, Jasper?" she asked while she reached into the cupboard again and pulled out a shot glass. "I know what I saw." She poured herself a shot and threw it back like a champ.
I walked over to the table, sat down, and buried my face in my hands. This can't be happening! This really cannot be fucking happening right now! I've had no time to prepare for this! Well, that wasn't entirely true because I'd been mulling over the exact words I was going to use for the last five years or so. But of course, those words were nowhere to be found at the moment I needed them most.
I heard her reach into the cupboard again and set another glass down. It sounded like she poured another couple shots but I wasn't sure because I never lifted my head to see. Oh this is fucking bad!! She's taking them two at a time now! Fucking great, Jasper! Way to fucking go!
"Here," she said while she set the shot glasses down on the table and slid one over to me. "Take this." I finally looked up at her as she sat down at the table next to me with a shot in front of her. I looked at her like she had lost her fucking mind. Is she seriously giving her sixteen year old son a fucking shot of tequila? This is worse than I thought!
"Mom, I'm so sorry," I croaked out while the waterworks began and I again buried my face in my hands.
"Jasper, look at me," she said sternly. I didn't look at her. I honestly couldn't look at her. I didn't want to see the shame and disappointment of having a faggot son in her eyes. I only sobbed harder. "Look at me!" I looked up and she had her shot extended toward me as if she wanted me toast her. I couldn't help but be stunned as I looked at her with her shot glass raised. She gave me a look that read 'I'm waiting.'
I looked down at the shot glass in front of me, lifted it, and I slowly moved toward her waiting hand. As I got close, she extended her hand, clinked her glass against mine. I sat there holding the glass and watched her as she brought the shot glass to her mouth but then stopped. "Take it," she ordered.
She sat with her glass right below her lips waiting for me to drink. My hand trembled as I brought the glass up to my lips. She nodded once and then we both threw our heads back and downed our shots. Of course I instantly started to cough because it felt like someone crammed a flame-thrower down my throat and lit it. Oh my fucking God! It burns! She's trying to poison me! She can't stand the thought of me being gay so she's trying to fucking kill me!
"Now, let's talk," she said as she set her glass back down on the table. After a few seconds, the fire in my throat subsided, and I realized I actually enjoyed the taste of the tequila. It really wasn't that bad. I think I could go for another right about now. It was almost as if she could read my mind because she walked to the counter, grabbed the tequila bottle, and brought it over to the table. "We might need this again," she said as she chuckled lightly and sat back down.
"Mom," I choked out, but she raised her hand to stop me. I hung my head and stared down in my lap.
"I'll talk. You listen, but I would appreciate it if you'd look at me when I'm talking to you." I raised my head to look at her. I couldn't quite judge the look on her face. It definitely was one I wasn't used to seeing. She didn't look angry or sad or any other emotion really. She looked almost pensive as if she had something on her mind. She just saw you making out with a guy! Like she doesn't have a bunch of shit on her mind!
"Jazzy," she said, calling me a name she hadn't called me in years. "I know this must be hard for you. You must have been worried sick about telling me and about how I would react. But I want you to know that this doesn't change the way I feel about you, honey. My love is unconditional, and you will always be my baby boy no matter what. Also, you don't have to apologize for anything. I'm sorry for how I reacted initially but you caught me off guard. That being said, I did see this day coming a long time ago." Huh?
"Really?" I asked, interrupting her. "How long ago?"
"I guess I've always known or at least suspected anyway, just by how you acted the way you carried yourself. I actually remember the day when I was sure," she said, then she chuckled and looked as though she was recalling a memory. "It was one day when you were six. You were dancing around the living room wearing my shoes and listening to that one Madonna song that you loved so much. You know, the one with the video where everything moves really fast…"
"Ray of Light," I said, interrupting her again. I really did love that song. Well, still do actually.
"Yeah, that one. Whatever. Anyway, Rose started teasing you and calling you gay. There was just something in the way you reacted that told me it might be true. Then as you grew older, you never seemed to be interested in girls or in other things like sports or video games that other boys liked."
"Wait, back up," I interjected once again. "So you say you've always known. I mean, how? How did you know? What exactly did I do that made you so sure? I mean, yeah, I liked a lot of things that girls liked and didn't give two shits about sports or whatever, but to know, even when I was that young."
"Jasper," she said, chuckling a bit. "It wasn't hard for me to figure out. I just knew. Mothers seem to know these things. Not to mention, growing up in San Francisco, I've been around gay people my whole life. I was a total fag hag when I was younger," she said as she laughed a bit harder. My mother was a fag hag?! Get the fuck out of here!
"What?" I asked as I joined her in laughter. "Really, Mom? You?"
"C'mon Jasper! It's not that hard to believe. Most of my friends growing up were gay men. Plus, you know I'm still really close to Mark and Steve." My mind immediately went straight to Steel Magnolias, as it often does. 'All gay men have track lightin'. And all gay men are named Mark, Rick, or Steve.' I couldn't help but laugh.
"And yes they do have track lighting in their house," she said and she grinned at me, obviously knowing why I was laughing. It was kind of cool that we were on the same wavelength. "I actually used to ask them about you when you were growing up…"
"What?" I couldn't help but exclaim. I was completely blindsided by that admission. "What do you mean you used to ask them about me? What kinds of things did you ask them?"
"Lots of things, really. I used to tell them things you would do to get confirmation from them of what I already knew. Then you used to do those little choreographed numbers for us." This took me back to embarrassing memories that I had tried to block out. I would get dressed up and dance around and lip-synch to songs. Mark and Steve used to look at each other and nod whenever I did those. Jesus Christ! I had forgotten all about that! No fucking wonder! I might as well have been born with a rainbow flag tattooed on my ass!
"Oh God," I groaned, trying to block the memories that came rushing back. She laughed and poured us another couple shots. "That was so embarrassing."
"I thought it was cute," she said as we clicked glasses and knocked them back. "You know, I was actually really excited at the thought that I might get to have a gay kid. I know that might seem weird to you, but I wanted to be the cool mom who would always be accepting because I've seen so many that weren't." Cue the fucking Twilight Zone music. This shit just keeps getting more surreal.
"You actually wanted me to be gay?" I nearly shouted.
"It's not that I really 'wanted' you to be gay, Jasper. But I've always wanted to make sure that I was okay with you being comfortable with who you are. I'm sure if you had a choice, you would choose otherwise because even though times are different now than what they were when I was growing up, there are still and will always be people out there who will judge you and look down upon you no matter what and that has to be hard.
"That's why I was so reluctant to move here, especially at your age. I figured in San Francisco, when you decided you were ready to come out, it would be easier for you there because there were tons of other people who knew what you were going through. Then we found out we had to move up here and I was instantly worried. I was petrified to think of what might happen to you in this tiny little town. Little did I know you would make friends so easily here. By the way, who was your 'friend' that was just here?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow. How much do I really want to tell her? Well, she's just spilled her guts about everything she was thinking about me growing up so I might as well be truthful.
"His name is Jacob," I replied, and I could feel that I was already blushing.
"So, is this 'Jacob' your boyfriend?" she pressed, still grinning.
"Mom!" I exclaimed.
"What? I would be asking you these questions if I saw you kissing a girl so why should this be any different? I wanna know! It's all in the open now, and you don't have to hide it anymore, Jazzy. I want you to know that you can always tell me anything." I might as well tell her because she'll find a way to coax it out of me anyway.
"Yes, Mom," I groaned. "Jacob is my boyfriend."
"I figured as much. I had a feeling by how exuberant you were at dinner last night that there might be a boy that you liked. But then tonight you were completely different so I thought maybe it was a little unrequited crush or something."
"No, we just had a bit of a…well, let's just say a bit of a misunderstanding today, but it's all better now. He actually came over to apologize to me tonight."
"And that apology required you two being half undressed?" Now I really am fucking mortified! "Sorry. I know you're almost an adult now so I know you have urges…"
"MOM!" I groaned as every blood vessel in my face just simultaneously exploded.
"I want you to know that it's normal to want to do things. But I just want you to be safe..."
"Oh my God, Mom! Are you trying to have 'the talk' with me?" God, please strike me dead! There is no way in Hell I'm having 'the talk,' a gay sex talk no less, with my mother!!
"Okay, fine. Change of subject then. So, how did you two meet?" she inquired.
"He's in all of my classes. He actually came out to me on the first day of school," I said and I launched into the hellishly embarrassing story of 'hooray for gay' and the lame fist pump, which she found to be absolutely hilarious. I'm sure as fucking hell not going to tell her about my locker room fiasco! She asked more questions, about how he knew I was gay and if anyone else knew.
"Wait," she said as she interrupted my story. "So Rose knows? And you couldn't tell me?" I could tell that she was really bothered by this.
"I was getting around to it. I've only been out for a week, Mom. Cut me some slack."
"You know, I have noticed a change in how you and Rosalie interact with one another lately. You two used to be at each other's throats constantly but lately it just seemed different."
"Rose has been pretty great throughout this whole thing. She's actually helped me through a lot these past two weeks. I've been pretty lucky to have her around." She shook her head and laughed.
"Who would have ever thought?" she rhetorically asked.
It was nice to be able to sit there and talk to my mother about all of this. It was truly amazing to not to have to hide to her anymore. As we sat and talked, there was one thing I couldn't get off my mind. "Mom?" I asked.
"Yes, dear?" she asked, noticing my mood was suddenly solemn.
"How do you think Dad would react to this if he were still alive?" She sat pensively for a few seconds, trying to formulate her response. I couldn't help but wonder how my dad would take the news that his only son was gay. I honestly had no idea how he would react because he died before I got the chance to know him.
"I have actually sat and wondered that very same thing myself. I honestly don't know how he would have reacted. He wasn't as open to this sort of thing as I am. But the one thing I do know is that you were his pride and joy, and he loved you more than anything in the world. So if he did get upset, I doubt he could have stayed that way for very long."
She smiled and put her hand on top of mine. I was about ask another question but our conversation was interrupted as Garrett walked into the kitchen. He stopped abruptly when he entered the room, took a look at Mom and me, the shot glasses and the tequila bottle, and just started laughing.
"What did you do?" he asked directly to me as he shook his head and chuckled. He walked over to the fridge and opened it.
"Well, Mom kind of saw me…kissing someone." He peeked his head around the refrigerator door, looked at me, shook his head, and started laughing again.
"Huh," he huffed. "So, what's his name?" he smirked as he reached into the fridge, grabbed a beer and came over to sit at the table with us. Seriously, does everyone know I'm queer? I didn't really think of myself as being effeminate or overly flamboyant, so I was perplexed as to how everyone seemed to have me pegged.
"How did you…"
"C'mon, Jasper," he interrupted. "I'm not blind you know. I knew you'd come out sooner or later. Ever since you were about five or six when you used to walk around in your mom's shoes, I pretty much knew you'd end up gay." Jesus H. Christ! Am I ever going to live that down?! I couldn't help but laugh as I chuckled and rolled my eyes.
"So, who is this boyfriend of yours? Does he have a name?" Here we go again.
"Jacob," I said as I basically repeated much of what I told my mother after he continued questioning me. I was honestly glad for the tequila because I wasn't sure I would have made it through tonight without it.
"Alright boys," Mom said after the last round of questioning. "It's almost midnight. Time for bed." I walked out of the kitchen with my mom's arm intertwined with mine. Garrett walked on my other side with his arm around my shoulder. This was too surreal to me. As we walked I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the whole situation.
"Mom?" I called out to her just as she was about to enter her bedroom. "Thank you," I said as I walked over and wrapped my arms around her. A couple tears managed to escape as I stood there hugging my mother.
"Hey now. None of that," she soothed as she reached up and wiped the tears away with her thumbs. Her efforts at wiping my tears were futile because they continued to flow. We continued to hug as she stood there rubbing my back and my hair, trying to pacify me much as she did when I was a child. I was, once again, completely overwhelmed. It felt like all of the pent up angst and dread I had managed to conjure over these last few years were all finally being released through the tears that flowed while I stood there hugging my mother.
"Now get to bed," she said after she pulled my head down and kissed my forehead and nudged me toward my room. "Oh, and tell Jacob that he's invited to dinner Friday night." My eyes widened and my mouth gaped as I stared at her in disbelief. "C'mon, Jasper. We'd like to officially meet this new boyfriend of yours," she said before she smiled and shut her door.
That night, my dreams came and went, but none lasted long. Most focused on either Jacob or my mom and centered on the joy and the peace I was suddenly experiencing. I couldn't believe how good I felt. The hiding was officially over. Everyone who truly mattered in my life now knew the truth and everyone seemed to accept me with open arms.
However, there was one dream I had that I couldn't quite shake off. In my dream, I was in the front yard of the place where my mom and I lived before we moved in with Garrett. I hadn't been there in over 10 years, but I still pictured it so vividly. I was that same five year old boy playing in the front yard when suddenly I started floating. I tried to grab a tree branch but I just missed as I began to float higher and higher. The weird thing about this floating was that I could feel myself progressively aging the higher I floated.
The feeling of floating weightless was absolutely amazing. It reminded me of the feeling I had when I came out to Angela that day where it felt like all of the chains had been lifted and I was suddenly free. Only this time, I really was completely free because now everyone who mattered to me knew what I had been hiding all these years. I also thought of Jacob which made my heart soar even higher as I continued to float away.
I did somersaults in the air and acted like I was swimming through the clouds. By the time I had floated above the clouds, my age had finally caught up to where I am today. As I floated up there, I could feel the sun shining directly on my body. The feeling of the warm sunlight on my body was astounding. But there was something slightly off about the way the sun felt on me. The heat from the sun felt almost like a presence. I couldn't place exactly what this presence was, but it felt strangely familiar.
I turned toward the light to see a dark figure that was outlined by the sunlight behind it. I floated in place, stunned by the majesty of the figure as it drifted closer to me. The closer the figure came to me, the warmer and more familiar the presence felt. After about a minute of watching this in what seemed like slow motion, I froze in place because the figure was finally close enough to where I could see its face. My eyes immediately began to fill.
"Dad?" I choked out realizing he was within a few feet of me. Just as I reached out to embrace him, my alarm went off, jerking me from the moment I had dreamt of for so many years. I had tears in my eyes when I awoke, and I couldn't get my mind off of the dream as I got ready for school. It had felt so real. I wanted so badly for it to be real.
I left for school about a half hour earlier than I normally would. I figured Jacob would be waiting in nervous anticipation for me. When I pulled into the lot, sure as shit, Jacob was already there, pacing back and forth behind his car. Just as soon as I pulled in and parked, he was right there by my door. I barely had the door open before he started in.
"I could hardly fucking sleep last night I was so worried about you. How did it go?" His face was creased with worry and he actually had bags under his eyes, supporting his no-sleep claim. Shit, he barely slept and I can't believe how rested I feel, even after that dream. Maybe it was the tequila.
"Actually, Jake? It went a lot better than I expected," I said as we leaned against my car and I launched into the story of the tequila shots, how my mom had always known, that she used to be a fag hag, and that even Garrett seemed fine with it.
"Your mom sounds pretty awesome," he said and seemed visibly relieved that everything went well.
"Yeah, I think so. So, uh, Jake," I said, starting to get nervous as to how he would react to my mother's dinner invitation. "What are you doing Friday night?"
"Holy shit! She ungrounded you?" He asked, almost bouncing up and down. "That's great! Do you wanna go see a movie or something?"
"Slow down there, Turbo," I laughed at him. "I'm not ungrounded yet. Actually, my mother has cordially invited you to dinner at my house…if you'd like to come, that is." I was suddenly worried that he may not want to meet them just yet.
"I'll need to know what you're having before I accept," he said and winked at me. "Just kidding," he said, hip-checking me. "Of course I'll come. I wouldn't miss it! What time should I be there?" He actually wants to meet my parents! I hope they like him. He's a walking ball of concentrated sunshine. Of course they'll like him.
People started slowly filing into the parking lot so we made our way into the school. We were the first people in class so I set my books down on my desk, walked over, and sat on Tyler's desk right behind Jacob. We chatted more about my night last night and about what would be in store for Friday. Bella was the first person in class after us and breathed a sigh of relief as she walked into the room and spied us sitting closely talking.
"Thank God!" she said as she walked over and set her books down on her desk. "I'm glad you two kissed and made up."
"Well, we did a little bit more than kiss to make up," he said and grinned wickedly at her. Of course, my face burst into flames.
"Jacob," I hissed at him as I walked away from them, dropping my head to try to hide my obvious embarrassment.
"Hey," he said, grabbing my hand and pulling me back to him. "Sorry," he said giving me that adorable pouty little puppy dog smile as he wrapped his arms around me and bent his head down to stare at me.
"Yeah, I figure you tell her everything anyway," I chuckled and raised my head to look him in the eyes.
"Get a room," Tyler Crowley joked, walking past us to his desk. We quickly pulled apart and both immediately blushed. He punched Jake in the arm and laughed.
"Fucker!" Jacob hissed at him and they playfully started mock-boxing in the aisle. Bella and I both laughed as we stood there watching the display.
People had begun arriving, including Angela who also seemed visibly relieved that things between Jacob and I were better today. I walked over to her once their boxing had escalated into Jacob putting Tyler in a headlock.
"So things are better with you guys now?" she asked as I approached her.
"Yeah, Jake came over last night and we talked it all out," I said, unable to fight a glowing smile.
"Good! I'm glad! I was afraid Bella and I were going to have to tie you two to a chair or something," she joked. Angela and I talked a bit about our conversation last night and I told her about the cute little bear and the rose. More people had arrived in class as we talked, including Edward Cullen who immediately gave me a worried glance when he walked into the room. I got up and walked away from Angela and over to Edward.
"You guys get everything worked out?" he asked, noticing Jake and Tyler's playful bantering across the room.
"Yeah, we worked it out." His face fell.
"Dammit! I was ready to make my move," he said turning his mouth up into that cock-hardening crooked smile. Of course I felt a little twitch below the belt. I fucking hate that you have a mind of your own! I rolled my eyes and started walking away. "Just kidding," he said more seriously, "I'm glad you two made up." He gave me a genuinely nice smile.
"Thanks," I said, sheepishly returning his smile. Not more than a second later, I felt Jake at my side.
"Edward," Jacob said, acknowledging his presence. At least he seems to have moved past that last name bullshit.
"Jacob," Edward replied as he pulled his lips up and gave him a small smile. Jacob pursed his lips and turned to walk back to his desk. He turned back around and glanced at me as I walked back to my desk. He then looked at Edward and gave him a weird look. I couldn't quite place it. It almost seemed…conflicted.
The first half of school flew by. Everyone seemed in better spirits today as the tension between Jacob and I had pretty much vanished. Lunch was much better than it was the previous day as most of us sat toward one end of the table, leaving Lauren, Jessica, and Katie essentially sitting in a group of three. That didn't stop Jessica from bombarding us with questions about how we made up so quickly. We were able to dodge most of them, giving her only need-to-know answers. Lauren seemed noticeably perturbed that Jessica was even talking to us.
After school, I got home at the same time as Rosalie, who I hadn't spoken to since before my talk with my mother the night before.
"Guess what?" she exclaimed before she had even taken off her jacket. "Emmett Cullen asked me out today!" She proceeded to tell me all about how Emmett had finally asked her out and about how he was really nervous doing so. She seemed elated and I was truly happy for her. Good, now hopefully she'll get to see him naked. I bet he's just as hung as his brother. Dammit! I have a boyfriend! Quit thinking about what the Cullen boys are packing!
"Oh," she said as she changed the subject. "I saw you and Jake must have made up last night," she grinned at me. "How long before the rents find out about him?" Too late.
"Ummm, they kind of…already know," I said as I bit my lip and grinned.
"What?!" she exclaimed. "What do you mean they know about him? How much do they know?" I launched into the story about how my mother caught us kissing in the foyer and the subsequent talking and tequila shots. She sat in awestruck silence as I told her the story, only interjecting with an occasional 'holy shit' and 'get the fuck out.'
Dinner that night was nice and Rosalie told our parents about Emmett. Of course my mother had a bright idea.
"Why don't you invite him over for dinner Friday night?" my mother asked Rose. "Jasper, did you invite Jacob today?"
"Yeah and he said he'd come," I said, and unsuccessfully fought a smile.
"Good!" she said, obviously delighted. "The more the merrier. I'll have to make something good. It'll be the first time we've had both our kids' love-interests over for dinner." It felt weird to have my mother refer to Jacob as my love interest. Yeah, I know we talked it all out last night but it doesn't make it any less weird. It's going to take some getting used to. But I couldn't help but be ecstatic about the whole thing. Everything's out in the open. There's no more hiding and no more lying and they seem accepting of the whole thing. Better yet, they actually seem happy for me.
Jacob and I talked on the phone for a couple hours before bed. We talked a lot about the things we didn't know about each other, really getting a deeper look into each other's lives. He talked about his family and more memories he had of his mother when he was younger. I talked more about my childhood and about some of the friends I had back in San Francisco.
The next two days at school whizzed by and it was soon Friday. After Anatomy let out, Jacob and I made our way to the door and Edward walked up to us.
"So, I hear my brother's coming over to your house tonight for dinner," Edward said to me. "I hope your mom makes enough food," he joked. "That guy could eat a whole cow." I laughed but Jacob shot me a weird look. Fuck, I forgot to mention to him that Emmett was coming tonight too.
"Sorry, I forgot to tell you that Rose invited Emmett over tonight," I smiled timidly at Jacob.
"That's okay," he laughed. "Emmett's the Cullen brother I actually like," he said with Edward still standing there. The tone of Jacob's voice wasn't the least bit malicious. It was almost lighthearted. Edward rolled his eyes and grinned and Jacob scowled, but couldn't fight a smile of his own. What the fuck is going on? Is there a full moon? I have to get to the bottom of this!
Edward walked away, still smiling and Jacob returned his cheery smile to me while we made our way out to the parking lot. We stopped in front of my car and I got in. He leaned in and gave me a quick but sensual kiss. "See you tonight, babe."
"Be over by seven, but you're more than welcome to come over earlier if you want," I said as I gazed at him, basking in the sunshine he was radiating.
"Yeah, I might come over early. I don't want to be late with Em there. I've learned from spending so much time at the Cullen house as a kid that you don't want to be late for dinner or else you might not get to eat." We both laughed.
I tried to catch up on a bit of Trig homework before everyone arrived for dinner. After about an hour, I hopped in the shower and started getting ready. I was only wearing a pair of boxers when Rosalie barged in my room wearing only a short black skirt and a push-up bra and carrying two shirts. When the fuck are you ever going to learn to lock the door?
"Which one?" she asked and held up a dark blue blouse and a pink button-down.
"Put them on," I said as I slid into my khakis. She threw on the blue one and twirled around in front of my mirror. I gave her a so-so look and she took it off and slid her arms through the pink one. She buttoned it up, leaving the top three buttons undone. The pink shirt was more form fitting and looked better against her skin tone.
"Definitely the pink one," I said, nodding.
"Yeah, my boobs look better in this one. Thanks," he said as she left and shut the door. Shit, I wish she wouldn't have left! I need help now! I grabbed the two shirts out of my closet and walked them down the hall. I knocked once, didn't wait for an answer and opened it. Ha! Two can play at this game, bitch!
"Dammit, Jasper!" she yelled when I barged into her room.
"Hey, at least I fucking knocked," I scowled at her. "Anyway, I need your help now." I held up the dark blue button down and the white polo I was carrying.
"The blue one. Definitely. You've lost a bit of your tan since you moved here and the white one makes you look flushed." I pursed my lips and nodded as I turned and left her room. I could not remember ever being this anxious for a family dinner. Well, jackass, this is the first family dinner where your parents have invited your boyfriend. Of course you're fucking nervous.
I heard the doorbell ring at a quarter past six. I looked out the window to spy Jacob's red VW Rabbit in the driveway. "I'll get it," I shouted, rushing down the stairs. I eagerly opened the door to see Jacob standing there holding a small bouquet of flowers. Naturally, he looked amazing beyond words. He was wearing a navy blue button down and a pair of tight light tan khakis. The shirt was actually the exact shirt from Express that I was wearing. His hair was tucked neatly behind both ears and was still wet from obviously showering not too long before hand. His face was initially stricken with panic but when he saw me, he lips pulled up into that glowing iceberg-melting smile that I'd come to love.
"We match!" he said as he stepped into the foyer. For some reason he was elated that we were dressed the alike. We had the exact same shirt on, similar light khaki pants and brown shoes. We looked like those people who go to amusement parks wearing matching clothes.
"Maybe I should change," I said and turned toward the stairs.
"Don't," he said as he reached out and grabbed my arm. "I like that we match. It shows we're on the same wavelength or something," he said while he continued to beam at me. "Where should I put these?" he asked holding out the small bouquet.
"Jake, you didn't have to bring me flowers," I said and instantly started blushing.
"These aren't for you, stupid," he said, laughing. "They're for your mom." Even with him calling me stupid, which I normally would have taken offense to, I still couldn't help but smile and blush harder from embarrassment.
"Is Emmett here?" I heard Rosalie yell as she ran down the stairs. She stopped at the bottom, took one look at us, and burst into laughter. "HA! HA! Did you guys plan that?" Naturally my face flamed.
"Jake won't let me change," I told her. "It's hard enough to be wearing the same exact shirt, but then you consider the fact that he looks so much better in it…"
"Oh stop!" he said as he rolled his eyes and shook his head. "You clearly look better in that shirt than I do. Maybe I'll just go shirtless," he said, winking at me. I couldn't help but bite my bottom lip while my mind replayed images of shirtless Jacob.
"Maybe later," I whispered to him and winked back. Just then my mother walked out of the kitchen and her face lit up like a kid on Christmas as she eyed us standing in the foyer.
"You must be Jacob," she nearly shouted as she eagerly approached us. "I'm Kate, Jasper's mom. Nice to meet you, well formally meet you anyway," she said and she extended her hand to him. He fumbled with the flowers and then took her hand.
"Nice to meet you, too. Here," he said as he held the flowers out to her. "These are for you." His voice cracked when he spoke and I could tell he was just as nervous about meeting my folks as I was about them meeting him.
"Thank you," she said, smiling cheerfully at him. "Let me go put these in some water." She marched off into the kitchen and his face returned to the initial panic and looked as though he was going to blow chunks all over my living room.
"Don't be worried," I told him and put my hand on his shoulder. "She's going to love you."
"I hope so," he laughed nervously. "I wasn't sure she would after witnessing our little make-out session right here last night." Thank God I at least put pants on!
"I'm going to finish getting ready," Rosalie said as she turned for the stairs. "Let me know when Emmett gets here." I led Jacob into the living room and turned on the TV. We sat on opposite ends of the couch, watched the evening news, and made small talk while my mother kept bustling in and out of the kitchen. About a quarter till seven, the doorbell rang again.
"I'll get it!" Rosalie screeched as she ran down the stairs. After a few seconds at the door, Rosalie escorted Emmett into the house. He looked at me and Jacob sitting on the couch and instantly grinned.
"S'up fellas," he said, walking into the living room. "Sorry, I didn't get the memo that it was 'dress like your boyfriend' night at the Hale house." The room filled with the sound of Emmett's booming laughter. As my mother emerged from the kitchen once again, Emmett straightened up immediately when Rosalie nudged him.
"Kate, I'd like you to meet Emmett. Emmett, this is my step-mom Kate." Rosalie gushed as she introduced the two.
"Very nice to meet you, Emmett. Please make yourself at home," my mother said and shook his hand.
"Nice to meet you too, ma'am," Emmett said, kissing her hand and piling on the charm. My mother blushed slightly as she went back into the kitchen to finish prepping dinner. Rosalie and Emmett both sat closely on the love seat, whispering to each other and giggling. I could definitely tell by the way they interacted and gazed at one another that they were definitely into each other.
Garrett arrived home from work shortly before seven and Rosalie was quick to jump up and introduce Emmett to her father. Emmett looked like he was going to vomit as he stood up to meet my step-father. What is it about meeting our parents that makes boys want to hurl all over our living room?
"Daddy, this is Emmett. Emmett, this is my dad." Garrett quickly sized Emmett up and cocked his eyebrow.
"Nice to meet you, son," he said as he shook his hand. Emmett gripped it tightly and Garrett tried not to wince too noticeably after he was finished. "Quite a grip you got there, kid. Are you a football player?"
"No, sir. I wrestle," Emmett admitted proudly. Ick. That's a strike against him. He probably has ringworm. Although the thought of him stripping naked and getting all lathered up in oil to wrestle some other brooding hot guy would be quite the sight to see. I felt my cock twitch. Stop it!
"What do you wrestle? Grizzly bears?" Garrett joked. Everyone laughed. He then spied Jake and me sitting uncomfortably on the couch. "And you must be Jacob," Garrett said as he walked to the couch and extended his hand. Jacob quickly stood up and shook his hand. "I'm glad you could make it tonight. Kate and I looked forward to meeting you."
"Nice to meet you too, sir," Jacob said as he smiled nervously.
"Dinner's ready," my mother shouted from the dining room. As we all made our way to the dining room, I noticed the table was already set. She actually broke out the nice place settings for the occasion. Well, I guess it's not every day that you meet both of your kids' boyfriends, especially considering one of your kids is a boy.
Garrett sat at the head of the table and my mom sat at the other end. Rosalie sat to her father's right with Emmett beside her. I sat on Garrett's other side across from Rosalie and Jacob sat across from Emmett, closer to my mother. I looked at the spread she put out, which reminded me of Thanksgiving.
"Looks great, dear," Garrett said as he stood up to carve the turkey. He tried to place the first slice on my mother's plate, but she politely declined, stating that the guests should be served first. After the turkey was served, we each passed around the side dishes while Garrett asked Jacob and Emmett more about themselves.
"Jeez, Em," Jacob laughed as he looked at Emmett's heaping plate of food. "Save some for the rest of us."
"Take as much as you want, dear," my mother soothed. "We have plenty."
"Hey, it's not my fault you eat like a bird, Jakey," Emmett playfully replied. Jakey. I like that.
"Oh puh-leeze," Jacob grunted. "Kobayashi eats like a bird compared to you." Everyone laughed, especially Emmett whose booming laugh was almost deafening.
"So, you guys know each other?" my mother inquired and then corrected herself. "Oh, well, I guess in a town this small, everyone knows everyone else."
"Actually, I've known Jake since the day he was born," Emmett said, grinning over at Jake. "He was basically like my little brother."
"Do you have any siblings, Emmett?" my mother asked.
"I have a younger brother named Edward, who is Jake's best friend…"
"Was," Jake sternly corrected. He immediately realized his tone was more forceful than it should have been and timidly smiled over at my mother who shot him a quizzical glance.
"Is, was, whatever. Anyway, I also have a younger sister named Alice. She's in junior high."
"You all have very old fashioned names," Garrett pointed out. "Do they run in your family?"
"Yeah," Emmett replied. "Emmett was my Grandpa Cullen's name. Edward and Alice were named after my Grandpa and Grandma Platt."
"What about you, Jacob?" my mother asked. "Do you have any siblings?"
"I have older twin sisters who are both twenty. Rebecca is married and lives in Hawaii and Rachel lives in Seattle and goes to the University of Washington."
"What about your parents? What do they do?" Garrett asked next. Emmett looked at Jacob and gave him a slightly solemn smile.
"My dad owns and auto-body shop out La Push but he's in a wheelchair so he can't do too much so I have to work out there a lot." Jacob stopped there and my mother looked like she was about to ask him to elaborate. Oh shit, Mom! Don't go there!
"What about your mom?" my mother asked as her face grew concerned. I tried to be inconspicuous as I shot her a look and shook my head, but Jacob noticed.
"It's okay," Jacob nearly whispered to me before turning his attention back to her. "She…passed away a few years ago," his voice cracking when he answered.
"Oh, dear, I'm so sorry to hear that," my mom said as she reached over and took his hand. "It must be tough to lose your mom at such a young age." Jacob nodded.
"So, Mr. Hale," Emmett said, taking the focus off of Jacob. "Rose tells me you work in banking." Emmett quickly glanced over at Jacob who gave him a small, appreciative smile. Nice save, Em!
Dinner continued on with more 'getting to know you' questions from my parents directed at both Jacob and Emmett. After Emmett finished his third plate of food, my mom brought out an apple pie which we all dug into. Of course Emmett had seconds. Damn, where does he fucking put all that?
After we cleared the table, Rose and Emmett went outside for a walk, and I announced that Jake and I were going to go up to my room to watch a movie. We were about to head up there when my mom called me over to her. I motioned Jacob up the stairs as I walked over to see what she wanted.
"Here," she said while she slipped something into my hand. I opened it to find a shiny silver condom wrapper. Oh hell no! That just did not fucking happen! Please God tell me that my mother did not just give me a fucking condom! Every blood vessel in my face exploded at the exact same time.
"MOM!" I was completely dumbfounded as my mouth hung open and I stared at her with bulging eyes.
"Just take it, Jasper. I want you to be safe," she whispered to me. "You are being safe, aren't you?"
"Jesus Christ, Mom! We haven't done anything that would require us to 'be safe,'" I said as I finger-quoted the last two words.
"Well, when you do," she firmly stated and tapped the condom in my hand.
"Fine, I will," I said and rushed up the stairs, but not before turning around and giving her anther look of astonishment. She seemed all too pleased with herself. I ran into my room, shut the door, and leaned against it. I was sure my face was still enflamed as I shot a horrified look at Jacob. He creased his eyebrows and got up off my bed.
"Everything okay?" he asked as he approached me still looking concerned. I took his left hand and slapped the condom in it. He looked down into his hand and his eyes bugged before he looked back up at me.
"Yeah. My mother just gave me that." He paused for a second, threw his head back, and let out a roar of thunderous laughter. He stumbled back and threw himself onto my bed as he continued to cackle uncontrollably. I was just completely mortified by my own mother and he thinks it's fucking hilarious!
"It's not funny, Jake."
"The hell it's not!" he choked out and continued to laugh. I stood against my door with my arms crossed. I couldn't help but laugh after a minute of watching him.
"Come here," he said as he got up and pulled me onto the bed. "What do you say we get some use out of this?" he asked as he held up the condom in his hand.
"Jake!" I exclaimed as I pulled away from him. "I'm sure as hell not doing that now that she thinks that's what I'm doing!"
"Oh, calm down. I was only kidding," he said, grinning wickedly at me. I sat back down and he put his arm around me. "In all honesty Jazz, as hot as I think you are and believe me, you're totally fucking smokin' hot, I'm not ready for that. Well, not just yet anyway," he said as he nudged me with his shoulder and winked at me. I swear to Christ this boy has to have a magic button in his pocket that he presses to make my prick hard in lightening speed.
"Good," I said as I leaned over and kissed him gently on the lips. "I'm not ready either. Besides, I'll be sure to call Edward when I am." He pulled away from me and glared for a second and I gave him a playful little grin.
"You suck," he said after he finally returned my grin. No, actually I don't suck. Well, I've sucked at life for most of it, but I've never sucked a dick.
"You wish," I whispered and my playful grin turned naughty. I moved my face to within inches of his and licked my bottom lip. I reached my hand into his lap and found his rock hard cock straining against his pants. "I knew I was right," I breathed right next to his face, leaning in but not quite touching his lips as I continued to caress his member.
I suddenly released my hand and stood up and walked across the room. "So, you wanna watch a movie?" I said and looked back to see him staring at me in shock.
"You fucking tease!" he growled at me playfully before chucking a pillow at me.
"I swear you only want me for my body," I said as I looked seductively at him and visibly adjusted myself in my pants. As soon as the words left mouth, the thought didn't sound too implausible. I tried to feign the same smile, but my acting was generally so bad that I made Paris Hilton look like Meryl Streep and he caught on right away.
"Wait, you don't seriously think that…do you?" I could tell by the look on his face that he was honestly worried that I might actually believe that. I didn't answer as I tried to look away from him. "Come here," he ordered looking sternly at me and pointed his finger at the ground in front of him. I walked over and sat down next to him.
"Jazz," he sighed, grabbed my chin, and pulled my face toward his. "Remember when I told you I was falling for you?" I nodded and pulled my lips up into a little smile. "While I do find you incredibly sexy to the point where it's sometimes really hard…ha ha, I mean it's really difficult to keep my hands off of you, but you have to know that's not the entire reason why I'm into you. This is just a small part," he said as he reached down to pet my crotch. Did he just tell me I have a small dick?
I shot him an incredulous look and he immediately started to backpedal. "Fuck! I don't mean I think your part is small because it's not. I think it's perfect in every way." HA! Now I know what it's like for people to watch me squirm! "What I'm trying to not-so-eloquently say is that I'm falling in love with you because of what's in here," he said, touching his index finger to my forehead. "And, most importantly, what's in here," he said, now touching my chest.
"Got it?" he asked as he continued to hold his finger to my chest and we gazed deeply into each other's eyes. I could absolutely stare into those beautiful molten chocolate eyes from now until forever. I barely managed to nod once before he pulled me into a tight hug. He rubbed his hand through my hair and his other down my back while we hugged closely. I could smell that amazing 'pure sex' smell on him as we embraced but it didn't cause the usual reaction. Instead my heart was soaring as it pounded irregularly in my chest as and my mind swirled around the fact that Jacob told me he was falling in love with me. Yeah, he told me he was falling for me before, but this time he said he was falling in love with me.
He pulled his head away and kissed me very tenderly on the lips before leaning back and gazing at me. It looked like he had something to say but didn't say it. As I sat there gawking at the stunning boy in front of me with my heart soaring and my mind spinning, three words kept repeating themselves over and over in my head. I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! "I love you." Wait, I think I just heard those words…and I didn't see his lips moving. FUCK!
It hit me like a ton of bricks that those words had flowed so freely from my lips. I had been fighting them back since our first night together that short week before. I didn't want to be that naïve boy who fell in love with the first guy who showed any interest in him. I didn't want to be that boy who, too soon, said those three little but enormously significant words that drove the guy off. But I was that boy now. I was that boy who fell in love with the first boy who showed him any interest. But like the Borg said on Star Trek, 'resistance is futile.' I then caved to the notion that I, Jasper Patrick Whitlock, was truly, madly, and deeply in love with Jacob William Black.
In the split second after the words left my mouth, the whirlwind of thoughts bombarded my brain to make me come to this realization, I immediately recoiled in hopes that those words would not drive him off. He stared at me with a look that was completely void of any emotion. There you go, Jasper! Now you've fucking done it! You just had to say it, didn't you? You couldn't wait until a more appropriate time after you've been dating for, oh, say six months or a year to say it, could you? No, you had to tell him you loved him after a not even a fucking WEEK!
In the seconds that followed my mental rant, it appeared that he had finally registered what I said because his face suddenly exploded in supernova proportions and he crashed his arms around me and gripped me so tightly I could barely breathe.
"Oh my god, Jasper," he said as he continued to squeeze me. "I've been dying to say that to you for quite a while now, but I was afraid that I'd freak you out." He pulled away from me to stare at me right in the eyes. "So yes, Jasper…I love you, too."
He pulled me back into his embrace and we sat like that for who knows how long. My mind was racing so fast I couldn't possibly make any sense of my thoughts. But I honestly didn't need to make sense of what my mind was telling me. As I sat there holding the guy that I now admittedly loved, the only thing that mattered to me was what my heart was telling me.
We fell back onto my bed and I lay there cradling him as we stared at the ceiling. Neither of us said anything. We both simply laid there in each other's arms, both unable to wipe the blissful smiles from our faces. He traced patterns on my chest with his finger while I gently ran my fingers over his bicep. After a while, I looked down to see his eyes shut. He was breathing evenly and deeply, and I knew he must be sleeping. I stared at him while he slept, unable to break my gaze away from the striking, yet peaceful face that was nestled against my shoulder. I cannot believe this beautiful creature here in my arms loves me.
As I lay there drifting in and out of consciousness, a song from 'South Pacific,' the musical that my old high school in San Francisco did last year kept playing over and over in my head:
I'm as trite and as gay as a daisy in May,
A cliché comin' true!
I'm bromidic and bright
As a moon-happy night
Pourin' light on the dew!
I'm as corny as Kansas in August,
High as a flag on the Fourth of July!
If you'll excuse an expression I use,
I'm in love, I'm in love,
I'm in love, I'm in love,
I'm in love with a wonderful guy!
I eventually must have fallen asleep too because at one point I heard the door creak, and I was barely able to open my eyes. I saw my mother peek her head in, give me a warm, tender smile, and shut the light off before closing the door. I glanced down at the Adonis lying in my arms, leaned my head down to kiss his forehead, then leaned my head against his and returned to the dreamland that awaited me.
Credit Note: "Ray of Light" was written by Madonna, Christine Leach, Clive Maldoon, Dave Curtiss, and William Orbit and was performed by Madonna. The "Ray of Light" video mentioned was directed by Jonas Åkerlund.
The lines 'All gay men have track lightin'. And all gay men are named Mark, Rick, or Steve.' were spoken by the character Clairee Belcher, as portrayed by the uber-fabulous Olympia Dukakis in the movie Steel Magnolias. See previous chapters for Steel Magnolias credit information (since I quote that damn movie in like every chapter).
'The Borg' and 'Resistance is Futile' are references the Star Trek franchise, specifically The Next Generation, Voyager, and the film Star Trek: First Contract in which The Borg appear. The Star Trek franchise was created by Gene Roddenberry and is currently owned by CBS, with some aspects still owned by Paramount Pictures.
South Pacific, including the song "I'm in Love with a Wonderful Guy," was written by Richard Rodgers (music) and Oscar Hammerstein II (lyrics) based on the James Michener novel Tales of the South Pacific. South Pacific made its Broadway debut on April 7, 1949 and was made into a feature film in 1958 staring Rossano Brazzi and Mitzi Gaynor.
28