Story: Pages
Character: Evan Lorne
Synopsis: Lorne's day starts out so well… Who knew it'd do from good to bad to worse in a matter of hours?
Warnings: Deathfic!
Rating: T – because it's a deathfic, there is no language.
Date Written: 2-11-2010
Author's Note: I know I said I'd never write a Lorne deathfic, and I guess I'm breaking that now. Allow me to explain why: I had to have a cavity filled yesterday morning. I was shot twice with Novacain along with the regular anesthetic. Apparently I have these 'reactions' to Novacain.
One, about 30 minutes after getting the first shot, I wanted to started laughing hysterically because of something that wasn't really all that funny. I did start laughing, but I managed to not go into hysterical laughter because the dentist had his hands in my mouth and I really didn't want to taste blood right then.
Two, about 45 minutes after getting the first shot, I started crying for absolutely no reason. I still don't know why.
Three, today I feel like crap. My head is stopped up and it's hard to breath.
And so, when I don't feel good, I write… interesting… stories. So yes, I have now written a Lorne deathfic. Please don't kill me.
/\_/\_/\
One last stroke here, one last dab there… It was done. This painting had to be the hardest he'd ever done, as it had so many of his own emotions in it.
The cross symbolized his faith, the storm his emotions. The water showed where he thought he was, the mainland where he wanted to be.
What happens to a man when he spills his heart on a page
And he watches words float away then
His feelings lie on a page alone
"Major Lorne to the Control Room!" The call came through the radio in his ear, sounding urgent enough he left his paints where they were and ran. He didn't like leaving his paintings out where people could see them, but he had no choice this time. He could only hope no one saw it- it showed too much of himself for him to let others see it.
There waiting for someone who cares to read them
To open their eyes to see them
To see if they can make his thoughts their own
Find a missing team, that was his mission. He could do that. It was a cakewalk… Until the cake turned into a pit of wriggling snakes and he had to exchange himself for the team. He told his team to get back to Atlantis and get help, but he knew that a lot could happen in the short amount of time it took to do so.
To find out that maybe your life's not perfect
Maybe it's not worth what he gives away
Four broken and three cracked ribs, a broken arm, a severe concussion, a dislocated shoulder and bruises all over his body. That was the cost. In hindsight it didn't seem like that much of a price, but at the time it felt like the most expensive thing in the world.
He kept his mouth shut, not letting one single scream out. The pain was intense, but he didn't let it show. That angered his captives more than anything he could've said and they took their frustration out on him… A broken leg, a bruised hip and ten lashes with a whip. That was the penalty for his silence.
You can see that this broken soul is bleeding
So you concede your feelings inside yourself
And wonder through my heart
His only hope of survival was the chance that his team would be back for him. He couldn't escape on his own- there was too much pain.
Luck was with him as his team burst through the door. The lead captor swiftly grabbed his broken arm and twisted it behind him painfully, demanding that they leave or he died. His team refused and the captor yanked on his arm- he did scream this time. His eyes closing as he tried to ride out the wave of pain.
Letting you see through me now only consumes me
Forget your pain and watch me fall apart
He lost consciousness, and when he awoke, he was surrounded by his team. They looked on with sympathy as the carried him towards home. He couldn't speak, couldn't scream as the pain returned with a vengeance. He could only lie on the stretcher and stare at the sky. His emotions were flowing through his body with a speed greater than ever before; he felt trapped.
He heard one of his teammates say 'Who's Anne?' and he knew that he must've said something while he was unconscious. Anne had been an old girlfriend, one that he wanted to become much more with. He'd found out that she was already engaged, and he was enraged. The woman, his life, his love, had lied to him for months.
His words of endearment and adoration tied him to her, even though he cut all other ties with her. He'd even apologized to her fiancé and they had come to an understanding.
What happens to a soul when he's trapped inside his emotions
And all of these words he's spoken
They bind him to the life he's left behind
A shudder ran through his body, shaking him out of his memories. The pain was fully back, and what he wouldn't have done for a dose of painkillers. Another shudder ran through his body, making the pain spike. He managed a groan- his team didn't stop, just pushed on faster.
If the pain were any indicator, he wasn't going to last long. He could feel a broken rib floating inside his body, sending shocks throughout his torso.
He had so many dreams… desires… wants… and now he wouldn't be able to reach them.
And every new step he takes
He knows that he might not make it
To all of these dreams that he has yet to find
He barely felt the tingling as he was carried through the gate, didn't hear the doctor's concerned words floating to him. All he knew was pain and memories. Memories he didn't want.
Maybe your life's not perfect
Or maybe it's not worth what he gives away
He could feel his body begin to convulse and had no control over it. He knew the doctors were working their best, but he could only see so much and the pain was still a constant.
You can see that this broken soul is bleeding
So you concede your feelings inside yourself
And wonder through my heart
Letting you see through me now only consumes me
Forget your pain and watch me fall apart
As I fall apart
A voice floated to him, telling him to hang on. To not give up. He didn't want to, but he had a feeling it wasn't up to him this time.
You can see that this broken soul is bleeding
So you concede your feelings inside yourself
And wonder through my heart
"Evan?" The voice was up close and personal now, demanding that he hang on. "Stay with us! We need you!"
Letting you see through me now only consumes me
Forget your pain and watch me fall apart
The pain wasn't subsiding, even though he subconsciously knew it should be. His eyes closed of their own accord- nothing he could do would stop them.
He could suddenly hear the beeping of machines, the whine of the defibrillator, the talking of the doctors. It didn't matter. He could feel his mind and soul leaving his body and mentally waved goodbye to his friends. All of a sudden he hoped someone did find his painting. Hoped they would understand it.
He said one last goodbye and turned to face his next adventure.
As I fall apart