Kaidan was sure his heart had stopped. As he pulled himself out of the rubble, Garrus and Anderson supporting him, he searched frantically around the demolished area. She wasn't there. There was no sign of her, not even a tiny stone moving near the place she had been. She was gone. He felt his knees go weak and his breathing becoming laboured, whether it was from the pain or the shock.

"Kaidan," Garrus said hoarsely, grasping the man's shoulder. "She's not- we can't find her."

The turian looked no better, shook to his core. Anderson kept calm, but it was easy to tell he was delirious with worry underneath. Kaidan's breathing was now ragged, as if he was gasping for air, and he held it completely when something moving rubble caught his attention out of the corner of his eye.

"Ander-Anderson," he said weakly, his voice choked up. Two hands lifted a large slate up and to the side, revealing the ebony hair he had kissed only hours before. "Anderson!" he barked, raising his bruised arm to gesture towards Shepard, who now had her upper body out of the ruin.

Anderson dropped Kaidan's arm and leaped over the piles of stone, signalling to some of the C-Sec officers that were securing the area. It hurt Kaidan that he couldn't do the same to make sure she was okay; to hug her and kiss her now dusty hair. Garrus noticed his longing look, and gave him a soft pat on his shoulder now that he was standing up right on his own.

"You'll see her later, Alenko. We'll get you patched up first and then we can both go and lecture her for nearly dying."

Kaidan sighed and nodded, finally moving his eyes away from her now that Anderson was escorting her.

"You're right. And I need food."

He felt proud of himself for making Garrus let out a tired laugh with nothing but an innocent comment. Sometimes he forgot other people didn't have biotic appetites. Shepard reminded him of that when she'd let him finish off her dinner.

"Then let's go and eat. We'll need all the strength we can muster to face Shepard."

She was sitting in the medical centre with Dr. Michel stitching her up. The others had gone to Chakwas, who had stationed herself in another small centre on the other side of the Citadel. She had yet to talk to them, having been dragged off to greet the damned council. So many people had died for them; it made her sick. They probably wouldn't even acknowledge humanity's sacrifice for them. She sat anxiously as Dr Michel injected her with pain killers, wincing as she looked away from the needle.

She needed to see her team, see Garrus and especially Kaidan. She had seen his face when she emerged from the rubble. It was a look of utter shock; his face pale as he had stared at her with relief. She watched out of the corner of her eye as Garrus led him away, talking quietly to the Alliance marine. Whatever he had said had obviously made Kaidan relax, his tense stance falling down and showing his tiredness and fatigue. She'd have to thank Garrus later. She knew Kaidan was one hell of a worrier, and waiting for her to appear was most likely his worst nightmare. Which was why she was asking the doctor if she was finished, eager to find her two best friends.

"You'll be fine, Commander. Just take it easy and rest."

She quickly gave her thanks to the doctor, careful not to seem rude for rushing away, and messaged Garrus to ask where they were. She got a response soon after telling her they were at a restaurant on the other side of the citadel where there was hardly any damage. She didn't waste any time hailing a cab, and scanned the almost bare restaurant for her friends.

She spotted them in a corner booth; Kaidan had his head resting on his hand, his fingers placed from his temple to his forehead. Shepard winced at the thought of the migraine he probably had coming on. He had used enough biotics in the last twenty four hours to cause any implanted biotic a headache. Garrus was seated opposite him and had spotted Shepard. She smiled as she made her way over and Garrus nudged Kaidan in the elbow, alerting him that his commander had arrived. He jerked up straight as if he had just woken up from a nap he wasn't supposed to be taking. Shepard noticed his heavy lidded eyes light up ever so slightly when they landed on her. Garrus stood up and met her, grasping her shoulder affectionately with his left talon.

"Good to see you alive, Shepard. Just don't almost die again, will you? Not a healthy lifestyle."

She rolled her eyes and laughed lightly, her bruised ribs objecting, and placed a hand on his own shoulder.

"It's good to see you in one piece as well, Garrus. I'd have to stitch you back together if not. No Shepard without Vakarian, am I right?"

"Of course you're right, Shepard. You wouldn't survive a day without me there to save your ass."

"That was once."

"Sure."

He dropped his talon and peered over at Kaidan, who was close to dozing off, and then looked back at Shepard.

"Well, sorry to disappoint, Shepard, but I have to be off. Have to go help a few buddies in C-Sec clear up this mess."

He was bullshitting, Shepard noted as he walked away, dropping some credits onto the counter for the drink he had had. But she wasn't going to complain. She needed to be alone with Kaidan.

"Don't you dare ever do that to me again, Shepard." he said quietly, not even looking up as she sat down.

"Is that an order, Lieutenant? Last time I checked, I still out-rank you."

He looked around the area before reaching over the table and taking her hand in his own. "No, it's a very serious request from someone who cares about you a great deal."

When Shepard saw the look on his face, she bit back her smart comments and looked down at their joined hands. "I'm sorry, it must have been hell. I didn't intend to be buried under all that crap. But... I'll make it up to you?"

She couldn't resist adding a cheeky grin, and squeezed his hand to tell him she wasn't joking. She relaxed more when a small smile appear on his lips.

"I'll hold you to that, Commander. Now about that shore leave..."

She rolled her eyes. "Yes yes, okay. You have my permission to whisk me away to this foreign land called Vancouver. But do protect me from the wild animals will you? I hear the men there are handsome yet fierce if you rub them the wrong way."

"Ouch, I assume that's a jab at me, Shepard. Very childish."

"Never assume anything, Kaidan. It just makes an ass out of you and me."

Shepard couldn't stop the smile stretch across her face as they continued their talking, eventually ordering some food to satisfy their grumbling stomachs. It was then that it was decided, that once business was dealt with the council and the Alliance, they'd get the hell out of the Citadel and head to Earth where they'd enjoy some well deserved shore leave.

Shepard was feeling strange about it all, nervous maybe. Seeing as she never spent long on planets, her shore leave had usually consisted of her bunking at an Alliance outpost and spending her time training by herself instead of relaxing like everyone else. She couldn't remember the last time she just relaxed for more than a couple of hours. And now she had a whole month of it; and she'd be resting whether she liked it or not if Kaidan got his way. Which he definitely would.

"Three weeks isn't that bad, darling."

"Yeah, but it's not as nice as a month."

Captain Shepard sighed and shook her head, taking a drink from her coffee mug.

"Be grateful, Dora. I only have the two days here and then I'm off again. And what's with the enthusiasm and eagerness for shore leave? Usually they have to kick you off the ship and lock the doors after you."

Pan looked down at the table as she tapped her fingers along the side of her own mug. She was well aware that there were a lot of people around and sometimes her mother forgot to use her civilian voice, instead speaking as if she was still barking orders at people. The woman needed a volume button.

"I've made some... friends over the last couple of months and I've been told I'm going to experience 'normal' life back on Earth for a while."

"Oh, friends now? Are you going with one particular friend?"

"Yes mother. He is the only human friend I have in my squad."

"Ooh, so it's a he?"

"Mom!"

Pan stopped herself from yelling, seeing as there were people already taking notice of her and the captain.

"Honey, just tell me. I promise there will be no teasing and immaturity from me."

Pan took in a breath. Her mother could guilt her into anything, but she also knew that a very small part of her deep, deep, deep down, wanted to talk to her mother about her and Kaidan as most mothers and daughters would.

She did not meet Hannah's eyes.

"Kaidan Alenko."

Her mother's face lit up, a smile stretching across her lips and her hands coming to rest on Pan's wrists.

"Oh, honey, I knew it! When I saw the vids... there was this look on his face when he looked at you; and you had this damn big smile..."

Pan went bright red.

"So, he's taking you to Earth?"

"Yeah, he's from Canada. We're going to his apartment in Vancouver. It's near HQ."

She cringed as she watched her mother's face melt into a doting, proud gaze. This was why she never had relationships before.

"Oh, sweetie, that'll be so romantic! Is he a romantic? He looks like a romantic. And you said he's going to help you experience normal life?"

"Yes, mother, civilian things. Things that were unavailable in a military war ship."

She didn't mean for her comment to be bitter or accusing, but when she saw Hannah's face drop to a guilt ridden expression, she groaned internally.

"No- Mom! I didn't mean- Mom, I had a good childhood. I experienced things other wouldn't experience until now, if ever. It's why I'm where I am today. It's just... civilian things are new to me. I mean, I think I'm actually nervous about it. You know, he said I couldn't bring my pistol certain places? I never leave without my pistol. So stop feeling bad, Mom. I didn't miss anything important."

Hannah rolled her eyes at her daughter's lecture, all too used to receiving them. Surely she should be the one lecturing? The captain was torn from her thoughts when she noticed Pan's eyes wide, moving side to side and making rapid head gestures to someone standing behind her mother. She froze when she realised her mom had caught her not so subtle communication; looking like a teenager caught messaging on their omni-tool at the dinner table. Hannah turned around. Hannah grinned with triumph.

"Staff Lieutenant Alenko, how nice to see you! Rested up from that tumble you had with Saren?"

Pan had her face cupped in her hands, eyes shut tightly as she silently hoped that the situation would just go away. While Hannah smiled up at Kaidan, politely waiting for his reply, he stood there trying to improvise on the spot. The Alliance captain was going to have so much fun with the poor Lieutenant.

"Uh, yes, Ma'am. Sorry for interrupting your lunch, Commander. I was looking for you and Garrus said he had seen you heading this way."

"Oh, it's fine, Lieutenant!" Hannah replied for her daughter. "Why don't you sit down with us? You're not interrupting anything here and there's no point trying to find her later when she's right here."

"Uh..."

Pan only then lifted her hands away from her face, realising that Kaidan was silently asking what the hell he was supposed to do. Meanwhile, Hannah watched their eye contact.

"Sure," the commander finally said, giving in to her mother and waving her hand completely away from her face. "Come and join us, Lieutenant. You may be saving me from my mother's torturous words."

"He didn't react, except pursed his lips and clears his throat. When you don't know if it's okay to joke about a higher up to their face, then don't do anything at all.

"Ouch, Dora. You wound me."

Kaidan noticed Pan wince at the name 'Dora'. Her mother, however, didn't seem to care.

"Now, Lieutenant Alenko, why was it you came here? She hasn't left a group of angry hanar assaulting C-Sec with complaints again, has she?"

"Mother."

He couldn't help but turn to Pan and raise an eyebrow. She gave him a look, telling him she'd explain later. Then lay his predicament. It wouldn't be appropriate to tell Captain Shepard that his true intention was to come and discuss their shuttle ride to Earth in the morning. Nope, he'd definitely have to improvise.

"Urh, well you see... There was this thing that Anderson asked me to do and it needs a Spectre to, uh... authorise it when... the, uh... programs are... complete."

"Kaidan, you're a shitty liar." Pan broke in, giving up on the whole façade. "What happened to those acting skills back in Destiny?"

"There wasn't much to act."

"Okay!" Hannah interrupted, slapping her hands down on the table giving Kaidan a fright. "You've been here two minutes and you're already flirting. You guys better let off some steam back on Earth or the whole Alliance is going to see those love hearts floating around your heads. I'm off to speak with Steven, so I'll leave you two to authorise. Enjoy shore leave, sweetheart."

Pan didn't even get the chance to open her mouth to reply as Hannah had already pushed her chair back and disappeared into the crowd.

"She grows on you, I swear." Pan said as a response to Kaidan's confused facial expression.

"Did she just- does she-"

"Yeah, she knows. Literally just found out a minute or two before you arrived. Great timing by the way."

"Sorry."

A/N: And so ME1 is done! I'm really excited for the next few chapters 'cos we're finally out of canon and in the 'in between' time of the first and second game. Hurrah!

Also, prettysoldier. sm, thank you SO much for your nice words! What a way to give an author a boast!

Review away guys! Lemme know what you think!

Next time: "What the hell happened to my shy, blushing, stuttering Staff Lieutenant?"

He looked up from the menu on his omni-tool and gave her a cheeky grin.

"You happened."