9 - A Comfort So Old

ASHLEY

"You know if you keep staring at her, Carmen's going to beat your ass." Kyla whispered in my ear as we entered the church.

"She's too sweet," I whispered back and glanced over at the couple again, "besides it's not my fault they make like, the world's sexiest couple."

I had to admit that they pretty much did. Spencer was wearing her ice blue bridesmaid dress that was fitted perfectly to cling in all the right places and Carmen was wearing a black pant suit that fit her just as perfect, topping it off with a loose tie. They walked around like the couple of the year, sharing glances and smiles as people would compliment them.

Kyla found herself being whisked away by one of her cousins because Julian and the guys were on their way.

My feet led me towards the stunning couple and they smiled at me. "I think you two could possibly steal the spotlight away from the bride and groom." I teased lightly and Spencer's eyes caught mine with a slight blush. "You compliment each other well."

I was trying to prove that I could be the bigger person. Well at least be a bigger person versus the old me. I would be lying if I said I wasn't jealous over the fact that Spencer could smile and laugh with someone else; but I wasn't going to show it and I wasn't going to act on it. I wasn't blind, I could see the love that Carmen gave her and it'd be bad of me to take that away.

"Thank you," Carmen smiled and her eyes looked passed me. I felt someone behind me and then lips on my bare shoulder. I stiffened and felt his masculine hand slide around my waist, pressing me against him.

"Kyla's asking for you two," Aiden said as he gave me a squeeze that lacked affection. Spencer's eyes drifted down to his hand and then to my face. I had to smile. I already confessed I wasn't happy but I couldn't really let her see that.

"Go." I heard Carmen whisper to Spencer and she gently pushed her towards me. "I'll be sitting and waiting to watch you walk down that aisle." I noticed the way she said those words to the beautiful blonde. I realized that it had more meaning behind it.

Aiden's arm let me go before he gave my temple a kiss and took off to help Carmen find a seat.

Spencer stood in front of me with a raised eyebrow. "Are we going?" She pointed towards one of the back rooms and I cleared my throat, moving to the side. She walked beside me slowly and her glances were obvious so I smiled softly.

"Everything okay? Do I have something on my face?"

Spencer's laugh was gentle as she shook her head. "No, I'm just admiring." She confessed and looked ahead before she turned around and stopped me in my tracks. "So, you and Aiden look good too."

I mustered up a good smile and nodded. "Thank you."

I could tell by the look in her eye that she wanted to say something else. Her eyes darted from me and back towards where Aiden had disappeared with Carmen. I frowned and bit my lip, "are you sure everything's okay, Spencer?"

Blues eyes looked at me and she sighed heavily. "I'm fine, everything is okay." She stepped a little ahead of me and I couldn't help but just follow.

"Do you think I'm doing the right thing?" Kyla rushed out and grabbed my hands. "Oh God, am I making a mistake? Ash," she panicked.

Spencer chuckled and pulled my sister in for a hug before pulling back and cupping her face. "Do you love Julian?" She asked and I tilted my head at the tenderness of her voice. Kyla nodded her head and wrung her hands like Spencer did when she was nervous. "Say it."

"I love Julian." Kyla said in the most confident way and I smiled. "I really do."

"Good," Spencer gripped her shoulders and licked her lips, "if you close your eyes, can you imagine your life without him?"

I subconsciously closed my eyes and looked back at my life without her. I survived it but barely.

"No." Kyla whispered.

"When he asked you to marry him, did you hesitate?" Spencer glanced at me briefly and I averted my eyes.

"Not even a nano second." Kyla smiled as if she were remembering the moment Julian proposed to her.

"Ky," Spencer pressed her forehead to the shorter brunette's and smiled, "you love the guy, you can't live without the guy and you never hesitated the moment he asked you to become all of his world," she paused and kissed the tip of her nose, "I think it's safe to say you're not making a mistake. You're scared and nervous and that is completely understandable."

"Wow," my sister laughed and looked at me, "I think Spencer's my new big sister Ash, you're seriously slacking."

I couldn't help but smile and stepped forward, bringing my own arms around her. "You're going to be fine, lil sis." I whispered in her ear. My eyes caught Spencer's and we shared a smile.

"Spencer, are you sure you and Carmen aren't married?" Kyla whirled around. "Your little speech was amazing and calmed my nerves immensely."

Spencer eyed me and shrugged, shaking her head slightly. "No, we're not married," she said softly but looked towards the area where her girlfriend was, "maybe, just maybe someday though."

My heart constricted in my chest as those words were spoken from her. I bit my tongue and fought down any other feelings than happiness for her.

"Are you ladies ready?" Mrs. Woods smiled at us and Michael came running in with Kyla's little cousin, Sarah.

"Ky, can we please have ice cream after this?" Sarah twirled around in her flower girl dress that resembled the bride's dress.

"Later," Mrs. Woods ushered the little ones out of the room and turned to look at us, "places," she smiled and Kyla squealed; only it was a happier one.

The music started to play and since it was just Spencer and I walking down the aisle behind the little flower girl and ring bearer, we were asked to walk side by side. I held my bouquet in my hands tightly as we took our first step out onto the rolled out carpet.

"I'd laugh if you tripped." She whispered out of nowhere and I couldn't help but crack a grin.

"I'll just take you down with me." I whispered back and we shared another one of the meaningful glances briefly.

Time could've stood still in that moment for me. I was having a moment with Spencer and it felt really good. I knew that it didn't mean much at all and I knew that whatever was being said from her was more of a barrier so that we wouldn't fall back into the heartache she was feeling. I didn't want to ruin any of the smiles she was sharing with me though.

I looked ahead as we made it closer to the front where Julian stood with his brother and Aiden. Julian's blonde shaggy hair was perfectly slicked back and his green eyes stood out perfectly as he fidgeted with his tie while waiting for his future wife. Mike, Julian's twin brother stood beside him confidently and he smiled at me then at Spencer.

Aiden glanced at me but our eyes never lingered. Not the way they did when I shared the same gaze with the blonde beside me.

Taking our places, Spencer looked at Aiden and squinted her eyes before she looked down. It was a look of pain and sorrow. One that I didn't quite understand but it wasn't the time to ask her about it.

The music for the bride was playing and everyone stood up and turned to face the back of the church. Kyla started her journey down the aisle.

I was there once and it wasn't anything like her wedding. My wedding was small and short. We never shared a real honeymoon and there was no reception afterwards. Aiden and I spent our first night together at our new home on our wedding night. Nothing special.

Spencer's arm brushed against mine momentarily and I ripped my gaze from my beautiful sister to meet deep blue. She smiled and then looked back at Kyla.

For the very first time since my reunion with Spencer, I felt comfortable.

I felt like I was in high school again where we were in the middle of a school assembly and her hand would find my arm, her fingers brushing across my skin just to let me know she was thinking about me.

If only I hadn't screwed things up the first time around, we'd be in the same situation; only this time:

Spencer would be mine.

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