Chapter Ten
I told Finnick I was going grocery shopping which isn't really a lie. I will go grocery shopping but there's something I want to do first.
I park the car and start walking towards my destination. I made sure to get flowers. I set them delicately on the ground and then kneel in front of her grave.
Olivia would've been one today. I'm not a big believer in life after death but I wanted to see her because it will ensure I won't forget about her. I know I never will but this makes me feel closer to her. I could've asked Finnick to come with me but I wanted to do this alone.
I can't believe it's been a year already. So much has happened but at the same time nothing has.
"Annie." Finnick says and helps me unload the groceries. "That took longer than I thought." He says.
I nod.
"I wanted to do something else." I say.
"Me too. I'm actually a little glad. I got to pick up your surprise." He says.
"Surprise?" I ask confused. I wonder if he forgot today is Olivia's birthday.
"Yeah." He says and pulls out something for me. It's a jewelry box.
I look at him confused.
"Just open it." He says softly.
I do and see a shiny golden necklace. It has a heart shaped charm hanging off it. I take it out of the box and notice there is something engraved into the heart.
It reads Olivia Grace and has her birthday.
"I know I didn't have to get something but I thought you might like it." Finnick says softly.
I hug him.
"I'll wear it everyday." I whisper. "I thought you forgot." I say as a tear rolls down my cheek.
"I could never forget this." He says and kisses my cheek to get rid of the tear.
"The reason it took so long grocery shopping was because I wanted to see her. I know I probably should've told you but I wanted to be alone." I whisper.
"That's fine. I wouldn't have wanted to go there anyways. It would be too painful." He whispers.
"When did you have this made?" I whisper and run my fingers over the heart.
"I got the idea a couple months ago. You like it?" He asks.
"Of course I do." I say and kiss his cheek. "I love you."
"I love you too." He says.
I put the necklace on and smile.
"Annie." Finnick says.
"Yes?" I ask.
"It's been a year since we lost her." Finnick says.
"I know." I say softly.
"I know we had a somewhat tough year." He says and I nod. "I've been thinking about what you said. I've been thinking about it a lot more as Olivia's birthday was coming closer." He says
"About having a baby?" I say.
"Yes." He says.
"And?" I whisper.
"I think we should."
"Have a baby?" I ask and he nods. "Are you sure Finnick?" I ask.
Finnick kisses the top of my head.
"I'm sure. I want to have another baby with you. I just hope this time nothing will go wrong." He says.
"Me too." I kiss him. "So it's official then?" I ask.
"What's official?" He asks.
"That we're officially trying to have a baby."
Finnick smiles.
"Yes." He says and kisses me.
"Good to know." I say and kiss him.
"You okay?" Finnick asks as he gets ready for work.
I have terrible stomach pains.
"I called off work." I say to Finnick.
"Okay." He says and kisses my forehead. "Do you want me to come home on my lunch break?" Finnick asks.
"I'll be fine." I say.
He kisses my cheek.
"I'll call at least." He says.
"Bye." I say.
"Bye." He says and leaves.
I stay in bed mostly tired. I think I'm just having terrible period cramps. I usually get them a few days before but, it's never been this bad.
Maybe I'm pregnant. I think to myself.
I go to the bathroom and throw up. I take some Advil and a tums.
After my stomach stops hurting I get something to eat, just some soup.
By the time it is noon I feel more like myself.
My stomach hurts a little but, not as bad. I could probably go into work now but, I'm not going to.
I hear my phone go off and see it is Finnick.
"Hey." I say.
"You okay?" He asks.
"I feel better." I say.
"That's good."
"I think so as well." I say.
"Well take it easy still. I'll see you soon." Finnick says.
"I'll see you soon Finnick." I say.
"Bye."
"Bye." I say and hang up.
However, after Finnick came home I started feeling funky again. I almost don't want Finnick to stay in the same bed because I'm worried he will get sick.
When I wake up I don't see Finnick. I get out of bed and see he left a note that says he went to get groceries.
I start to feel terribly dizzy, I go to the bathroom and throw up. I really don't want my weekend to start off by being terribly sick but it's better then missing work.
I open the bathroom cabinet and an avalanche happens.
"Finnick." I mumble. He usually just shoves things in here.
I start to put everything back until a pregnancy test touches my hand.
"It's nothing." I say and try to put it back but I can't. Finnick and I haven't been having much luck. It's been four months of trying and nothing. With Olivia it all happened so quickly. It seemed like Finnick and I talked about having a baby and the next few weeks I was pregnant. Not this time.
I take out one of the tests. I got a three pack because Finnick and I haven't been having luck.
I take the test out and see it needs to wait five minutes.
The front door opens.
"Hey Ann, if you feel well enough can you help me unload the car?" He asks with fresh snow flakes in his hair.
"Just a minute or four." I say. Finnick walks towards me.
"Are you taking a pregnancy test?" Finnick asks worried.
I shrug.
"Annie you're probably just sick." He says and kisses my cheek.
"It doesn't hurt to check." I say.
"Annie, please don't get sad if that says negative." Finnick says gently.
"I won't." I say.
Finnick hugs me. He doesn't believe me. I will feel a little sad but I won't cry or anything.
Finnick lets go of me so I can look at the test.
"What's it say?" Finnick asks. I can tell by his tone of voice he thinks it says no.
I shake my head.
Finnick hugs me and I lean my head against his chest.
I clear my throat.
"That's that then." I say and throw the thing away. Finnick kisses my cheek. Then puts the back of his hand on my forehead.
"You feel hot." Finnick says and kisses my cheek again. "Lie down. I'll get you some tea when I come back up." He says gently.
"Okay." I whisper.
I go back to our bedroom and turn on the television.
After a few hours I'm barfing terribly, have the chills, and keep sweating through the covers. I have the flu and I feel so weak.
"You okay?" Finnick asks coming in to check on me.
"I'm fine." I say but don't really mean it. The Olive Garden commercial just had me puking my guts out.
I shiver when Finnick touches me.
"Did you go outside?" I ask him.
He shakes his head.
"No you're just hot." He says.
I shiver and he gets me another blanket.
"Try and go to sleep sweetie." He says.
"How can when I feel so terrible?" I say.
He kisses the top of my head.
"Just try." He whispers.
I roll over and hug Finnick's pillow to my chest.
The television sound seems to drown everything else out. I just feel a pounding in my head.
"Ugh." I say and throw up into the trash can. "Ugh." I moan again.
Finnick comes in probably worried.
"Ugh." I moan again.
"I'm fine." I say and wave him off. He cleans up the trash so the room won't smell of vomit.
I press my face into the pillow and lean my arm and leg off the edge of the bed.
I haven't been sick like this for awhile.
Finnick comes back and kisses the top of my head.
"Sleep tight Annie." He says.
I wake up shivering and drenched in sweat. I look towards the clock and see it is four am. I don't see Finnick though. I'm pretty much sprawled all over the bed. I wouldn't want him to sleep in the same bed because I would get him sick.
I start to feel that tongue shrinking feeling in my mouth. I make it to the toilet just in time.
I splash water on my face. My hands are trembling and I'm freezing. I leave the room to get a bottle a water. That's probably why I feel so weak, I might be getting dehydrated.
I see Finnick sleeping on the pull out couch.
I sigh my husband is too good for me.
I take a few sips of the water.
I hear Finnick shuffle in the bed.
"Annie?" I hear Finnick say.
"It's me." I say.
"Why are you up?" He asks worried.
"Don't get out of bed. I was just thirsty." I say.
"Good." He says.
"You didn't have to sleep out here." I say.
"You were kind of all over the bed and you were coughing into my pillow all day." He smiles.
I clear my throat.
"I need to lie back down." I say because I'm starting to feel light headed.
"Do you need anything?" He asks.
"Just some sleep." I say. "I love you Finnick."
"I love you too Annie." He says.
I nod.
"You feeling better?" Finnick asks in the morning.
"Slightly." I say.
"Do you think you can eat something?"
"Maybe in a few hours." I say.
Finnick nods. He's looking at me as if he's examining me.
"What?" I ask.
"Nothing. I was just thinking about yesterday."
"What about?" I ask.
"When you were taking that test."
I sigh and pull the covers over my head. I don't want to think about that right now. How I'm not pregnant... again.
"You looked sad." He says worried.
"I am sad." I whisper. "It wasn't like this last time." I say.
"Annie it's not like making a cake. It won't always have the same results. In our case I think that's a good thing." He says.
I take the covers off my face.
"I guess." I whisper.
"I love you." He says and kisses my cheek. "You should get some sleep."
"Okay." I whisper.
Finnick smiles.
"I love you too."