Change

On such a tranquil evening my deeply frustrated groan was enough to rattle the shutters. I glared daggers and was met with the same from my reflection that in the mirror appeared utterly ragged and disparate.

This was not how I looked, this was completely wrong. I did not have ruddy weather-beaten skin and cockeyed hair permanently askew, or these dark shadows under my eyes that looked like someone might have painted them on as I slept. Sure, I may not be the Cathy or the Selena of the village but at least I was pleasantly kempt. At best I could remedy the hairstyle and use a little creative makeup. I boldly fished out the scissors from a drawer and began to cut, clippings drifting soundlessly to my feet.

The days before the festival were abuzz with merriment. Many things were shipped in from the mainland for the stalls, the younger kids were trilling with excitement, and the tailors were especially busy mending traditional yukata and dress.

I owned no such thing. My clothing was limited to what I brought on my back when I arrived and I had started a humble collection of garments since. I won't lie and say that I didn't toy with the notion of having Luna throw something together for me but I decided that Chase would probably be more disconcerted by the additional effort than caught up in my beauty. It was also a little too reminiscent of my delicate rose dress, still torn and folded neatly with Chase's borrowed shirt in a box under my bed. Chase hadn't asked for it back and I didn't know how I felt about adding to that box.

A few days ago Gill failed to accompany me back up the mountain. That is to say, I never told him I was going. Edge cried just as much when he made the rainbow as he did when it felt hopeless and in a burst of part annoyance, part empathy I gathered him up and held him to my chest until his tears subsided.

It wasn't like holding a rabbit or some other small animal like I imagined it to be, he was like a child. He nuzzled his tears into the fabric of my breast and his hands gripped at me tightly. The only thing that set him apart from a child was his wispiness; when I thought he felt solid in my arms he'd surprise me and shimmer nearly to fade. Not on purpose of course, he was having difficulty keeping his form after so much energy was exhausted in crying. I knew that without needing him to explain.

"Are you alright now?" I adjusted him so that I could peer into his face.

"I'll be okay." He rubbed his eyes with little black knuckles. "I am tired, so I will sleep." I lifted away and he stopped me with a sob welling again, "Will you come back?"

"Um. Sure." I shrugged a shoulder, feeling oddly self-conscious. I didn't see the necessity of it, since it would only be a short time until he was reunited with his beloved goddess. But having more than one friend to gush over might cure the little fellow of the lake of tears he seemed to house inside.

It was strange. Edge smiled for the first time and I felt it blossom in my heart. Suddenly I very much wanted to return for a visit with this odd little creature; I wanted him to reminisce and tell me tales of how the island used to be. I wanted to meet all the sprites together in one place and see them happy and complete. I settled for this arrangement and watched him go, until the mountain governed over only me and the tiny flower drooping peaceably.

When I got back Gill, of course, tore me a new one. And not only because I had sprained my ankle on the way down and he'd caught me surreptitiously trying to solicit first aid from Perry.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He had become placidly still.

"Because you were just so bad at it." I lamented teasingly but his eyes flashed to say that it wasn't received well. Perry finished dressing my swollen foot in bandage and had left to retrieve the most minimal of forms I agreed to fill out while Gill took his place and gently dropped his hand onto my foot. Our eyes met and I thought he was being overly fond until he squeezed and I cried out in shock.

"Does it hurt?" he moved away. "…then we're even."

I chewed my lip and promised to buy him dinner next time. In my rush to finish the final rainbow I hadn't realized that despite his disparagement towards mountain-climbing Gill might have actually wanted to be there at the end; this island was just as important to him as it was to me, probably more so. I didn't hesitate to tell him how underwhelming it was.

"Nothing. It was just the same as ever. No bursts of heavenly light, no goddess, and no confetti." I double dotted and underlined in all the boxes Perry needed me to tick and we left for a more private place to discuss it. I limped pathetically and decided on the beach since it was closest, ignoring the fact that I'd still have to make my way home at the end of the night.

"Maybe there's another rainbow?" Gill helped me to sit like a carer would an elderly woman.

"No, that's all of them. If there was another one Edge would have told me."

"Edge." He deadpanned. "This is the one you said cries a lot."

I laughed, "Yeah, figure that one out. Perhaps it's just beyond our crude earthbound capacity to understand." I nodded sagely and we watched the sun set.

"What's left then?"

"I'm sure she will tell me." In a familiar dream; Gill knew so I didn't need to say.

The fading light sunk away into the ocean, leaving a fair golden ripple in its wake before darkness inevitably swallowed it up. The creatures that stalked the night began to cry; the song of it ebbing and flowing with the waves. Now and again there was a flicker like fireflies far from their home. Some might say they were passing spirits lost on the water.

"What will you do when it's all over?" His voice sliced through the serenity that had captured me. The fingers of both his hands were pressed together at the tips, a position that made him look very much what he was; the Mayor's noble son.

I turned to grin at him, "Farm, I guess." Although his question raised another; would it be enough for me once I was finished playing hero? Would I be content to settle down, think about marriage, and eventually raise a family here?

"You don't have somewhere to return to?"

"Just how do you think I came here," I chuckled. "I'm not exactly listed in trade as some hero-for-hire." There was that word again; I was getting bigheaded. "I came for a fresh start and I found it. I'm not going anywhere." I didn't understand why he felt the need to press the matter but I was happy enough to reassure him.

"Because you belong here." He said. It was a statement of fact that he backed with fiercely lit blue eyes. Where normally I would expect traces of embarrassment for such an announcement there were none.

I forced another laugh, my cheeks heating instead, "Yeah…Thanks."

My reflection was starting to resemble the person I knew myself to be again. Her eyes were still somewhat dim and sleepy, but at least her hair was orderly. I'd even managed to trim the back quite well. I brushed away the remaining hairs and showered before giving my face another once-over with some sheer makeup.

As for my clothes… I decided on a simple white shift dress. It wasn't much different from the norm except that I'd forgone the usual shorts combo. The boots however stayed.

Outside the night was falling. My chickens were still grazing contentedly, their clucks and the occasional quack from Steve a song I was quite attune to. I ushered my flock back inside their houses and took a moment to appraise my little farm. The coop with it's squeaky weather-vane, the stable with it's chipping paint, and my home with it's reliable roof and it's tiny deck that I could quite readily whittle away the hours sitting on listening to the birdsong.

Once upon a time everything felt shallow. I didn't understand what I had come here for. Chase found me when I thought that no one would ever try to look any deeper than my simple play-role as farmer, and now he was stuck with me. Gill too had become an indispensible part of my life, always pushing and prodding me forward. Somewhere along the way I started caring again. I was proud of my work.

Yes, I could be happy here. I was happy here. This was my island.

I arranged to meet Chase at the dock. He might have collected me from home if I had been a little more forceful but I wanted to be as unassuming as possible to put him at ease; delicate flower as he made himself out to be lately. Predictably, he was already waiting for me 5 minutes early.

I gave a wave and a smile as I ran up to him. "Happy Festival!"

He returned my wave and smile amicably, "Is that the official greeting?" He paused, a thoughtful thumb and forefinger caressing his chin. "You're hair looks nice."

Although he was previously standoffish concerning the date, he still offered me his arm as we walked into town. The dark apron was missing, and he looked roguishly good; I think my type was beginning to form around the faces he'd show me. I could feel the warmth of his skin through the thin material of his summer shirt as I hung on to his arm appreciatively.

The streets were bustling with entertainment. Most of the townsfolk we crossed were playing some kind of game or buying food but some seemed almost to nod at us in passing; in acceptance of our pairing. Well, it's not like I had been all that discrete about my feelings. Maya however paused with her mouth hanging open, a stick of candy poised for a bite as she watched us go with wide-eyed astonishment. I was remorseful until we reached the goldfish stand and Chase offered to catch me one. His violet eyes were twinkling reflections of the street lights.

I'm sorry Maya, but I really want that fish.

Chase re-rolled his sleeves and began scooping, and he was really terrible at it. Eventually my cheering waned and I kneeled beside him "You have to be quicker, or it breaks," taking his hand in mine, much like I had when we planted the tree, I exemplified my meaning.

"You're deconstructing my manly facade here," His eyebrows creased pleadingly and his lips curved to simper.

I in turn scoffed wickedly, "what facade?" But our second effort got us no closer to being fish-owners.

"Oh Chase," I complained good-naturedly afterward as we were eating some barbequed fish from a Toucan Island stall. "You lifted my hopes up so high and then dashed them cruelly. They are dashed." He rolled his eyes in reply, looking elsewhere for something to distract me with.

"Wait here." From a nearby counter he grabbed a novelty mask and snapped it over my face. I yelped and struggled with it and when I lifted it away he was lost to the crowd. I paid for the mask and wandered to the beach.

Here the lights were fewer, just barely managing to illuminate one step in front of another. This was of course in preparation for the firework viewing. Nearby Paulo and Chloe chased each other with sparklers and doused their remains in the sea. Footfalls behind me made me spin on my heel.

"Where did you go?" the night light made his flyaway hair look darker, more dramatic, along with his eyes that seemed the same color as the inky black water. From his hand a bag and goldfish hung delicately.

"How did you…"

"Without the pressure of you breathing down my neck…" he tied the band around my wrist loosely so that I still had use of my hands. When he met my enquiring eyes his smile slid naturally back into place and he shrugged. "I paid for it instead."

"So you cheated." I rebuked happily, poking the plastic that held my fish to watch it circle.

"The end result is the same."

I maneuvered closer, directing my gaze to the horizon in order to disguise my intention, and swiftly pressed a kiss to his cheek, "Thank you."

"Fireworks soon." He said, seeming to disregard my token of affection, although when I eyed him discretely he appeared flustered and uncertain.

The beaches were still quiet; the time of the show must still be a while off. I was trying to sum up my courage as now was a good a time as any. Later I might flake out and leave the night as it is; a rather nominal and pleasant date between friends. I took a deep breath to steady myself.

"So, what did you really bring me out here for?"

"Huh?" my concentration broken I studied his expression, which was now hard and resolute.

"We can pretend for longer if you like, but I am curious to know."

My heart seemed to speed up and sink at the same time. Although his tone was still altogether friendly he truly had a way with words. "I'm not pretending." My hands wound against my chest. "You're the one who's never been honest."

The silence spelled out before us. "It's so difficult with you. You want one thing and then you keep asking for more. I never promised that." He said finally his eyes boring into me. They were angry, misguided, and confused. Just like I was.

"Slow down." I rubbed my temples, feeling my control slip again. "This isn't what tonight is about."

"Then what is it?" he clipped.

"Why are you so upset?" I pleaded, irritation mixing with my words of defense.

"I am upset. I keep going in circles… You… You change everything." Each sentence was punctuated by his hands which were animated; threading through his hair, clenching at his sides, gesturing at me.

Further down the beach people were gathering, settling themselves into couples or laying out blankets to sit on. I was nervous about the volume our voices had reached but I couldn't seem to stop myself.

"What about me?" I felt my entire body quake as I faced him. "I'm still here. I'm waiting for you, Chase. I'm waiting for you to sort yourself out and see me for real this time. No more games. No more silly efforts. Just me, the girl you approached in a bar who is helplessly caught up in something bigger than she is! A girl who is utterly and hopelessly-"

A boom and crackle of lights exploded above us and smaller ones soon followed. They whipped and tore and shattered in the sky. The sound ignited my words. Had I not shouted at him they might have been swallowed by the noise.

In love with you!

I truly hated to say it like this. It was meant to be cherished, contained, and saved for the right moment. I had planned to broach it so much more gently. Now he was staring at me, aghast as though I had just threatened his life, his mouth open handsomely however stupid. And something clicked. Or broke, or fell into place, I don't know, but I was running. Running with all the strength and speed I could muster; pumping my legs so hard that it made the old injury in my ankle throb.

Behind me the fireworks flew and I imagined he called my name. The same sweet sound I was always yearning for.

I was in a spring.

The water pulsed around me and the whiteness of my dress seemed to glow. I'd forgotten why I was wearing it and not the familiar farmer's green. I was soaked through and my underwear was visible beneath it. The unfamiliar plane was bright as though lamp-lit but I realized that the radiance was coming from the water itself.

I found I had strength enough to lift myself out of the shallows and was stood at the foot of a tree. It was less a tree than it was a stump; something ancient and dead, living only by the great roots it had once spread through the land to borrow from its vitality. I touched it gingerly, as though it might crumble under my scrutiny, but it was as solid as stone.

Behind me was a light sprinkle of footsteps but I was unafraid.

"Angela," I turned toward the voice. I'd hardly had the chance to hear it properly but I knew it for what it was; a perfect manifestation of her. Blue and deep and serene as the steady tide. We faced each other like a reflection.

"Harvest Goddess," I said lightly, the sound of my own voice was thick as it bounced back off the water and the starry sky that seemed to wrap around this place.

"Do you love this island?" She asked plainly. I remembered all the trials. I thought of the efforts I made for each rainbow and the people I had grown to love through it. Everything seemed so long ago in comparison to this moment. My heart pined for someone but it was too much to recall. The goddess pulled all of my attention to her.

I answered truthfully, "This is my home."

The goddess looked away briefly, her eyes swimming with something akin to regret before they met mine anew. Her voice never waivered, "Then keep it."

I can imagine that this is how it feels to be struck by lightning. Every nerve ending sang, and I was rigid with electricity. There was no pain only change, as though something was forcing itself to fit inside the small envelope of my body. I was emptied and refilled with something as light and airy as the wind. My vision blurred terribly and then sharpened, all at once training on the soft face of the goddess again.

She whispered, once more without a voice, and vanished. Where she was now stood Chase disheveled and breathing heavily with a look of perfect horror on his face. My breast panged intimately and brought everything back to me in a rush until I tumbled forward.

This was what it all came down to. This was my final clear thought.

Time, place, and means. My despair, my hopelessness, the passing seasons, the rainbows, every simple exchange. Gill. Chase. Everything accumulated for this moment. It was all planned so that one day I might become what the island needed.

New roots for its existence.

I sobbed immodestly, hoping that Chase might hear me. Hoping he might understand what this meant. But he was immovable, trapped in the shock and awfulness of everything I had kept hidden from him since the beginning. My hands couldn't warm me, couldn't protect me from the light.

In the end, the light was all there ever was.

A/N: And so ends part one.

I was going to make this a double release with the next chapter since it's such a very big cliffhanger and if you liked it you're probably wondering how I will continue from here… Well, I can now safely reveal that the second half of this story will be in Chase's perspective. I decided against a dual release since I wanted everyone's feelings on this chapter alone.

Reading back…although the chapters aren't even that long, it feels like we've come so far. I hope you have enjoyed this as much as I have, and that this dramatic change hasn't put you off. I realized the moment that I began to work towards this chapter that I might lose some readers who were hoping for a more realistic conclusion; however I hope that I've convinced you somewhat as the characters have grown. In my plans there are an equal ten chapters to come, give or take a prologue, so I hope that you will stick with me to see the eventual close.

To those of you who feel you have really lost touch with Chase in all of his wishy-washiness… Soon we will actually get to see some of his inner workings and come to understand him.

Thank you for reading.