DISCLAIMER: I don't own Hollyoaks or its charactors (except Alex). Hi! Thanks so much for all the amazing reviews, they are really encouraging. Also, thanks for everyone who has kept reading the story, you guys are great! So, last time it ended on a bit of a sad note :'(

I wonder what Brendan will think of Ste leaving...

Enjoy! (and also, please review. I'd really appreciate it)

(Sorry if it's a bit short)

Brendan

Memories flooded my mind before I'd even opened my eyes. I smiled to myself. Last night, it had been undescribable. It felt as though it would all be fine, everything melted away. Everything except me and him, that is. I reached out to pull him towards me but found the other half of the bed empty. Startled, I opened my eyes and looked around the room but there was no one else here.

"Stephen." I called, quietly. I got up and pulled on some boxers and trousers. I padded to the bathroom to see if he was there. No such luck.

"Stephen this isn't funny." I whispered, half expecting him to jump out at me, laughing his head off and grinning that annoying yet cute grin of his.

"Hello?" I called.

"What's up, love?" Asked Cheryl, coming out of her bedroom in a dressing gown and PJs, rubbing her eyes and yawning. She didn't know that Stephen had been there, she still thought that we weren't even speaking.

"It's nothing." I replied. I thought that Stephen had probably thought that this had been a one off, that I would want him rid of him straight away. This was not ideal but it was fixable. I would just have to find him and show him that he didn't choose when to leave. I decided when I wanted him around and, right then, I certainly wanted him around. I walked back to my room. It was only then that I noticed the note. It was lying on the drawers and I picked it up, dread already filling my heart.

Bren,

I'm sorry. I can't do this, it hurts too much. I'm leaving with Alex, I'll be okay. It's a new start for both of us. Look after yourself.

Ste x

That was the second my world collapsed. Such a small piece of paper, it wasn't many words, but it had the power to bring down my life. I crumbled to the floor, all my resolve and defences shattered. I thought we were okay. More than okay, I thought we were great. But, after everything, he still left. He left me. How could he leave me?

"Bren! What's wrong?" Cheryl questioned, looking worried.

"Nothing." That was a lie. Everything was wrong. "I have to go somewhere." I pulled on a shirt and shoes and ran down the stairs. I could here her protests as I left without an explanation but I didn't have time. I grabbed a jacket and my phone before leaving the house. Desperately, I called Stephen but it kept going straight to voicemail. I started to run, not really sure where I was heading but I ended up going towards his place. I suppose I was holding onto a vain hope that he hadn't left yet. And then I saw him. Stephen was about to get in a car. And guess who was driving? Alex. I was torn between wanting to smack Alex for even thinking of taking what was mine, and Stephen was mine, or trying to talk to Ste and convince him to stay. I decided on the latter as I doubted decking Ste's friend would help me at all.

"Stephen." I shouted, jogging towards him. He looked towards me in shock before shaking his head. Did he really believe that I would just drop it, that I would just let him walk away? Not a chance.

"Don't do this, Brendan." He sighed.

"What are you doing? You were just gonna leave, run away. And this," I yelled, holding up the, now scruched up, note. "was all you left behind."

"I couldn't face you. I know it wasn't fair but I knew you'd react like this." He gestured to me.

"Like what?" I demanded.

"This! You won't understand. Can't understand. I need this, okay? Can't you just let me go." He pleaded.

"You know I can't." I replied.

"I should have known it couldn't be easy." He said, almost to himself.

Alex had gotten out of the car and was eyeing me up as if wondering if he could take me in a fight. Like hell he could. "Stephen, you can't do this." I said.

"Ste," He said venhemently, emphasising 'Ste', "can do what he likes."

"Is that right?" I snarled, "What's it got to do with you anyway? You're just a kid. You haven't got a clue."

"Really?" He said, taking a step towards me.

"Come on then. If you think you're hard enough. Come on!" I yelled, arms spread wide. I smiled mockingly. I needed to release my angern on someone and Alex was as good a target as any.

"I swear, I'll kill ya!" He threatened.

"Is that right?" I laughed. Then my rage got the better of me and I was there, in his face, prepared to put him back in his place. But then something stopped me. A hand, pressed on my chest. I looked up in suprise. Stephen was looking at me with a familiar determination in his eyes.

"Don't touch him. This is between you and me. If you've got a problem, then take it out on me." What did he mean? Did he expect me to hit him? I looked into his eyes and saw the rage that dwelled there. He was expecting a fight and I knew exactly who's side he would be fighting on. Alex's.

It was then that I realised my deadly mistake. I'd underestimated the bond between Ste and Alex. Gone was the illusion that Stephen still cared about me, that he loved me, that we shared something amazing. He was choosing Alex over me. Understanding Alex; happy-go-lucky Alex; friendly, always-there-for-you Alex. Bloody everything-I'm-not Alex, basically. And how could I blame him, after everything I'd done? He deserved better but I didn't care. I was selfish: I knew it, Stephen knew it, Alex knew it, hell, even Cheryl knew it. But my confidence had crumbled and my judgement was shakey at best. I was almost in a daze. Stephen was going to leave me. This was the end: everything we'd gone through to get here, it had all been for nothing. All the emotions I didn't want to feel; all the kisses I didn't want to forget; all the words that he had spoken that, at the time, had been meaningless but were now so precious because I didn't think I would ever hear his voice again, after this.

"I'm sorry." I said.

He looked tacken aback at first, before a sadly far-too-familiar look of mistrust settled on his beautiful features. "What for?"

"Everything. Anything." I shrugged, "If this is it, then I don't want you to hate me."

"Well, he does hate you so just fuck off, yeah? You're not wanted. You're pathetic and Ste would never go back to a bastard like you." Growled Alex. Talk about kicking a man when he's down.

"Just go back in the car, okay Alex? You aren't helping. We'll leave in a minute." Stephen said, looking back.

"Fine. But don't let him manipulate you, okay? You don't owe him anything." Alex said, before getting in the car.

"So, this is really it?" I asked, walking with Ste a few paces away from the car, out of Alex's earshot.

"I guess so." He replied, looking at the ground.

"Look at me."

"Brendan..." He said, still refusing to meet my eyes.

"Look at me." I repeated. Finally, he obeyed and I saw the pain there. He looked beaten, tired as if our complex realationship had taken its toll on him. Everyone had a point where they could no longer go on, I guess Stephen had finally reached his.

"Is this what you want?" I asked, knowing the answer but needing to hear him say it anyway.

"No." He said, shaking his head sadly, "This isn't what I want. But it's what I need."

"Where are you going?"

"You know I can't tell you that."

"What if I promise not to come after you?" I questioned.

He snorted, "When have you ever kept your promises?"

Anger flared inside me, "You weren't perfect either." That was true: Stephen wasn't perfect. But he was perfect for me.

"I don't want another arguement." Ste sighed. "I don't have it in me."

"God, I can't believe this." I closed my eyes and took a breath, trying to hold myself together.

"I know. Who'd of thought it? I certainly never pictured us ending up here." He smiled.

"Don't go." I begged, desperate.

"Don't make this harder than it needs to be."

"Harder?" I laughed bitterly, "How could this be harder?"

"I don't know." He looked back at the car, "I have to go."

Stephen turned to leave but I grabbed him by the arm and spun him around. My hand rested on his neck as I pulled him in for a kiss. He was shaking and I wanted so badly to take the pain away but I knew I was the cause of it. The kiss was soft and bittersweet, full of declarations and apologies.

"I love you." I told him. There was nothing left to say. I just needed him to know that, even if he didn't love me back. I did love him, more than I could ever say.

"I love you." He replied, wiping tears away before they had a chance to fall.

He smiled at me and, in that moment I knew that I'd been forgiven. He didn't hate me, he'd forgiven me. Stephen turned around to go but yet again, I reached out to stop him.

"Brendan." He sighed.

"Wait." I reply before reaching behind my neck.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

In answer, I grabbed his hand and pried his fingers open. I gently placed my crucifix in his palm and closed his fingers around it. Stephen withdrew his hand and looked at what I'd given him.

His eyes widened in shock and he shook his head, trying to give me it back, "I can't take this. It's yours, I've never seen you without it. I can't."

"Yes you can. Just, don't forget me, yeah?" I pushed it back towards him.

Stephen smiled, "Like I could ever forget you."

He walked back towards the car and, just before getting in, he looked up at me, "Goodbye Brendan."

I gave a half hearted wave and smiled sadly. He returned the smile and got in the car. Tears clouded my vision as I watched the car speed away and I continued watching a few minutes after I could no longer see it.

"Goodbye Stephen." I whispered to the wind, the love of my life already long gone.

Rachey Ayy xx