Are you serious?
Chapter 10
by GabrielsThoughts
"Aye-yi-yi-yi- yi!" Alpha was panicked "Rita repulsa has killed off all the power rangers! What are we going to do?"
"Dammit Alpha, I told you to select teenagers with attitude! Now the earth is doomed." to say Zordon was displeased was an understatement.
" Wait…We should have just enough power to create a new power ranger!" for a breif moment alpha had hope
"It's our only hope. Select a teenager with attitude…"If the Rangers never existed, the fate of the earth was sealed in crystal Tokyo hell. Zordon could not let Setsuna beat him again. Watching the imaginary chess board of time and space unfold through the gates of time, Setsuna smiled…check and mate.
"Locking on to teen angst, rebelion against authority, uncontrollable outbursts of depression and rage." Alpha chimed.
Within seconds the new ranger arrived, transported through a beam of energy…
"Alpha!" Zordon was outraged.
"I don't know what went wrong sir, perhaps there are no teenagers with attitude left." was Alpha's simplistic reply.
"you mean to tell me the fate of the world rests in the hands of a…a… hamster?"
"chu?" was the curious reply from a verry puzzled Ryoga.
Elsewhere Ryu Kumon was contemplating mutilation and genocide. Ryu Kumon was a very good liar, he had to be, from the time he was six years old Ryu had been living on his own thanks to Genma Saotome. Genma had given his father a scroll containing the dreaded Yama sen ken. A form of martial arts that relies heavily on mesmerism, brute strength, and intimidation. Having no family nor friends Ryu lived a harsh lonely existence. His very survival depended on his knowledge of where Ranma and Genma was at any given moment… Watching from the shadows, Ryu would often raid the Saotome's campsite for food. At one point the wondered if Genma knew he was following them, since he always seemed to leave such an obvious trail for Ryu to follow or would stop just long enough for him to catch up. The trail grew harder to follow as the years passed, and eventually and Ryu steadily became expert at stealth once Genma taught Ranma the art of knife throwing. Ryu learned quickly the bastard knew exactly where he was at any given moment the Kunai started whizzing past scant centimeters from his location. Or rather Genma did until Ryu learned to move like a thief in silence.
Ryu Kumon was not however a time traveler, having lost the Saotome's trail at Jusenkeyo. Ryu had the unfortunate destinction of being pushed, yes pushed, into one of the springs by the Jusenkeyo guide. What he expected to come up was a small pink haired girl he could pass off as the one who pushed herb into spring of drowned cockroach… sadly the only thing that came up was a Grey kitten with a cresent moon on its head. The guide knew what that meant…the spring was the random result of not one but two victims, the pink haired girl and a grey kitten. Oh well, he could always sell the kitty on eBay like all the other victims. Having finally arrived at the cherry temple Ryu decided to let the moment speak for itself. Once it was revealed that Ryu was in fact Luna's Daughter, the cursed martial artist was assaulted by the girls.
"She's so cyuuuute!"
Artemis wasn't too thrilled. Had it been the other way around she would have scratched his eyes out. Of coruse this explained everything, Luna's absence, her unexplained weight gain Artemis gasped "You tramp."
"oh shut up!" Luna huffed.
"Was it Hercules?" Artemis asked, " I mean really, how could you?"
"ooh it must have been true love" Mina squealed in delight. "she's adorwable.
"put me down" Ryu was getting snippy, and with good reason. Mina and the other girls who moonlighted as sailor scouts, Minus Usagi Tsukino and those whom had not awaken, were torturing her…him. There was enough love in the room to kill an imaginary pink elephant.
"please, I'm on a mission in search of Genma Saotome. "
"who?" the girls asked in unison.
Realizing the amount of power he held at this moment, Ryu decided to milk it for all it was worth. The little grey moon cat got an evil smirk on her face "We call her Black Lady, she's an unholy force of evil beyond your wildest imaginings. And, it's because of her my father died." Ryu then sniffled for dramatic effect. " then s-she covered me with Goma su sesame sauce and, and threw me into a pit of starving hamsters." this was in fact true as Genma Saotome had promised to teach Ryu an ultimate fighting technique second only to the Neko ken…unfortunately the Hamster ken, training had made Ryu afraid of all rodents in general including chipmunks, squirrels, rats, and mice.
A collective gasp was heard throughout the room.
Back at the ranger compund Zordon was having a fit. "I ask you to do one thing, and you cant even do that right. I mean really, how hard can it be to summon a teenager with attitude."
"The sensors must be malfunctioning." as a machine itself Alpha knew it was unfaultable
Zordon groaned. " just summon the most skilled martial artist in japan under the age of twenty."
Somewhere at the mall Genma Broke out into a sneezing fit… damn allergies. Genma wiped the snot on the blue sundress Kasumi wanted her to try on. it wasn't like she was ever going to wear it again. an instant later, the very same pink haired girl disappeared from the changing room. In that moment she was gone, as she was transported to a room with a giant Emo head against her will.
"Greetings ranger, you have been summoned to save the world from…" Zordon looked at the litte girl with cotton candy hair tied in the most ridiculous hairstyle he had ever seen. "what are you like twelve?"
"47" Genma responded. .
"riiiiight" Zordon shot a glare at Alpha. Oh well a pre-teen with attitude was better than nothing… the Ranger uniform would never fit, but that Sailor moon outfit the pink ranger shrunk in the wash after last Halloween's fiasco could work. at that same moment a hamster dropped from the rafters and landed on Genma's head. in fact since the hamster had arrived Zordon had been trailing his confused journey through the compound to make sure it didn't chew thorough any wires. reaching up to find what had landed in her hair Genma found the curious rodent and recognized him almost immediately
"you Villain!…kidnapping a poor little girl's hamster." Genma distinctly remembered this particular hamster from the morning news.
"It was an accident, I swear!" Alpha cried "we were trying to find a teenager with attitude! But a great evil has damaged our transporters!"
"That's right , young ranger you have been summoned to save the world from that great evil." the giant emo head stated.
"Is it Samara Morgan?" Genma had to ask, because on the scale of evil, that was right up there with barney and squirrels.
"no, it is a force of evil far more sinister… beings from the silver millennium are trying to undermine the time stream. As a ranger it is your duty to stop them and the negaverse…and the uh moon goblins." Zordon telepathically finished the alterations to the sailor fuku and linked the outfit with a morpher. Setsuna wouldn't notice an extra scout until it was too late, and by then his ranger will have caused so much chaos Crystal Tokyo would be destroyed.
The morpher suddenly appeared on Genma's arm. "Ghetto Pink ranger, this is your morpher, use it wisely to fight for love an justice. To activate it, simply use activation code I've placed in your subconscious. "
"Alright, It's morphing time!" Genma shouted as she performed a series of unnecessary judo chops " Moon Cosmic Ranger Power!" within half a second the transformation sequence engaged.
Ghetto pink ranger? that liar! She looked more like a miniature version of a sailor moon...with cotton candy flare. Genma's eye twitched, this was horrible. She was nowwearing a magical leotard with a matching skirt, knee length boots, and elbow length gloves… to say Genma was upset that she was wearing a fru fru girly anything was an understatement. So Genma did what any other Jusenkyo victem insecure about there manhood would do…she used her new powers, in addition to sealed forbidden martial arts techniques to destroy Zordon, Alpha and the base. within ten minutes, the whole base of operations for the power rangers was destroyed.
After Genma discovered she was lost somewhere in the Gobai desert she cursed herself. How the bleep was she supposed to get back to Tokyo. Ryoga had securely nestled himself in Genma's hair…
'This is wonderful', Ryoga thought, he hadn't been this close to the Crown Arcade in months.
Setsuna smiled as the probability for Crystal Tokyo jumped by fifty percent. Chibi Usa had done her a huge favor, Setsuna literally owed her one … of course she was still trying to piece together how poor Rini had discovered the location of the hidden ranger base on her own. Setsuna thought it best not to worry about such things and transported the confused girl to the negaverse, so she could save, or rather distract Sailor moon from an incoming attack by Prince Darrien. curiously, Setsuna puzzled. she never knew Usagi was so methodically skilled in the martial arts. Sure it was fun to watch her beat Darrien out of beryl's nega-trance, but she was expecting Usagi to play on darrien's heart strings to release him from the spell...oh well, timelines do change. looking at Crystal Tokyo once more Setsuna thought how beutiful it looked even if there were flying brains and tenticle like vines creeping all over the palace...the brains looked familiar. it took her a moment to full grasp the major foul up that was Crystal Tokyo. 'no worries' Setsuna thought, she would just arrange for someone to become their own grandfather. In that way she could fix the timeline with out creating another... wait was the little pink hared girl called l Rini or Chibi Usa? Setsuna groaned. she was going to need an asprin, it was going to take a long time to work out this knot in the time stream. where the hell was the doctor when you need him most.
When Genma arrived in the Negaverse she had already had missed out on the whole kittens with mittens joke that Ryu and Artemis had to suffer though, and the death of Dolomite, Luna's mysterious and prolonged disappearance, and Malachite's defeat…in the grand scheme of things only two days had passed since Ranma and his father first encountered the Tendo's…
Of course once Beryl and Metalia erased everyone's memories, and reset the whole timeline. It really didn't matter anymore. The timeline was restored to the state it would have been in had the sailor scouts never encountered the negaverse
Usagi yawned…what a freaky dream. Usagi decided she needed to take a nice cool refreshing morning shower before she could take on the day...
the sopping wet Luna was shocked as she fell into the tub unbalanced...what the hell was going on. why is she in a shower. let's see... cherry temple, plan to over throw the negaverse, new daughter...WtF! Hopping out of the shower a very frustrated and wet Luna decided to get some answers, surely Artemis would know why everything was pear shaped.