December, Senior Year
Olga knocked on the door tentatively. "Helga?" Her voice wavered.
There was silence on the other side.
Olga knocked again. "Helga?"
It was still quiet.
Olga firmed her voice & knocked with purpose. "Helga!"
The door snatched open. "What?!"
Olga steeled herself. "I would like to talk to you."
Helga slammed the door.
Olga was shocked by her rudeness. She knocked again. "I will not go away!"
Helga snatched open the door again. "What do you want?!"
"I want to talk to you."
"Don't you get it?! I don't want to talk to you! I want nothing to do with you!"
Olga's bottom lip trembled but she pressed both lips together in a fit of courage & drew to her full height. "Well that is too bad. We're sisters & we need to have a relationship."
"Go away, Olga." Helga looked, sounded & was tired.
Olga wavered. Didn't Helga deserve peace after all she'd been through? Shouldn't she stop being selfish & allow her baby sister the space she required? Olga set her face. No. They were going to be close again. Even if it took fighting to make it happen. "No."
Helga grew angry. "Get away from me!"
"No." Olga drew on strength she didn't know she possessed.
"Ugh!" Helga screamed. She slammed the door & stalked over to her bed. She threw herself on top & screamed again.
Olga wasn't sure if that was a victory since the door was in her face. She decided it wasn't & grasped the doorknob in her hand & hoped she wasn't making a mistake. She threw open the door & came inside. "Helga, we must speak!"
Helga lifted her head. "Get out of my room!"
"No." Olga shut the door behind herself & leaned against it. "We must speak & we must speak now. Before it's too late."
"It's already too late." Helga glared at her. "I hate you. I hate all of you."
Olga's heart broke but she refused to give up. "You don't need us. You've never needed us. & that was our faults. But I'm standing here, pleading for you to listen to me. To allow me to apologize."
"Why should I?" Helga sat up abruptly.
"Because you're not the only one silently screaming."
Helga looked at Olga in pure confusion. "What?"
Olga took a deep breath. "You think that it's us against you but it's not. It's them against us. You forget I was here twelve years before you. They didn't change when you were born. They were always like this."
Helga narrowed her eyes as she tried to make sense of it. "What are you saying? That they ignored you, too? At least until I was born?"
"No." Olga took a deep breath & pushed away from the door to pace. "Daddy isn't good with girls. He always wanted a son. I could tell right away. It didn't help that I was never very athletic.
I tried. I really did but I was just horrid at games. It took him a long time to think of my other activities as sporting events & get him to cheer for me. I was in fourth grade before he showed up to a single spelling bee match.
He figured he could cheer for me at these events & it was as good as a sporting event. That's when the pressure started. I had to be the best or he wouldn't go at all.
He didn't care if it was no longer fun for me. I had to be the best if I wanted his love. So that's what I did. I continued trying to be the best."
Helga blinked at her. Rage on her sister's behalf welled up inside of her. How dare Bob treat his daughter that way?! "What about Miriam?"
"I don't know if you've noticed but Mommy has a drinking problem."
Helga rolled her eyes. Doi! "Of course."
"As long as I left her alone, she was happy. When I was too young to go to school, I would sit in my room & play alone, wishing for a brother or sister to pay me attention.
I was excited for school. I would see other kids & finally have friends. Mommy put on a happy face but I know she was happy I was out of the house. So I joined things to stay away from her.
She praised everything I did but I knew she didn't mean it. I could see it in her eyes. I'm sure she doesn't like me much." Olga stopped.
Helga stood up & went to envelope her sister in a hug.
A sob broke through as Olga tried not to cry. "The day they told me I was to have a younger sibling, it was the happiest in my entire life. I would finally get someone to love me.
& then you were born. You cried every time one of them came near you. You didn't like anyone but me. My dreams came true. I played with you all the time & you smiled just for me.
I loved you so much."
"Then why did you leave me?" A tear slid down Helga's face as she let Olga go.
"I've always loved school & I knew I wanted to go to college since I was five. I was excited to go & have my mind challenged, my theories tested. I wasn't trying to leave you behind. I just wanted to spread my wings."
"Why didn't you come back?"
Olga turned around. "I wanted to study for my internship & I thought that you wouldn't mind. It was only one party. I figured you wouldn't miss me."
"Well I did." Unshed tears swam in Helga's eyes. "You were the only reason why I wanted a party. But you didn't show."
"I'm sorry, Helga." Olga came closer. "I'm sorry for going away for college. I'm sorry for seeming to be more interested in school than you. I'm sorry I didn't come home. But most of all, I'm sorry it took me all this time to apologize. I love you. I've never stopped loving you & I never will."
Helga dashed away tears she didn't want to acknowledge. She swallowed hard. "What now?"
"I hope we can start over. I want you to let me in. You are not alone in this house. Not anymore."
Helga rushed into her sister's arms & held her tightly as tears poured down her face.
Olga's heart lifted. This was a new start for them. She wouldn't make the same mistake twice. She was going to hold onto Helga with everything she had.
~WLY~
"Thank you for letting me come." Sid fidgeted.
Dr. Bliss nodded. "I told you, I schedule appointments over break because this time of the year is very stressful for some people."
Sid nodded & readjusted himself on the couch.
Dr. Bliss waited but he stayed quiet. "How has your break been?"
"Oh. It's good I guess."
"Any big plans with your family?"
"We have some traditions but if I could cut out, I would."
"What are your traditions?"
"Dad hates Christmas so he usually picks up hours at the factory. Mom drinks special egg nog & yells at him for it."
Dr. Bliss narrowed her eyes but he didn't seem upset by what he just said. "Why doesn't your father just spend Christmas with you?"
Sid shrugged.
"Wouldn't you think he'd want to spend time with his family?"
He made a face. "We don't really spend time together. We don't spend much time in the house."
"You & your family only stay home to sleep?"
He nodded. "Yeah. We're kinda just-"
"Roommates?"
He blinked. "Yeah. I guess."
She narrowed her eyes again but he didn't seem bothered. "Why do you think your family doesn't spent time together?"
He bit his bottom lip. "I don't know. We haven't spent any time together since I was in grade school."
"Do you miss those times?"
"Not really. We don't agree on anything."
"Not a single thing?"
"Nope. That's why I spend so much time with Stinky."
"Stinky?"
"Stinky Peterson. He & his dad have the best relationship. Him, Gerald & Arnold have the best dads."
"& you can't have a relationship like that with your father?"
"I don't think he really wanted me."
Dr. Bliss was in shock over the blasé way he said it. "You feel unwanted by your father?"
"I just don't think he wanted kids."
"Are your parents married?"
"Yeah. As you can probably guess they were married after she got pregnant."
"How do you feel about that?"
"I don't know." He lifted his shoulders. "It's not my business."
"You don't think you have a right to wonder if maybe your father feels trapped?"
His eyes widened. "Trapped! Yeah, he feels trapped!"
Dr. Bliss stared at the satisfaction on his face. "Are you glad he feels trapped?"
"No. Of course not. I just didn't know the word for it. But he does seem like a caged animal. I think my parents might get a divorce when I turn eighteen."
"How do you feel about that?"
"I really just want to save up enough money so I can move out. I applied for a part time gig at the factory & I got hired. I'm working full time during break though. I start tomorrow."
"Why don't you want to stay & talk to your parents?"
"About what?" He was bemused.
"You don't mind that your parents might divorce when you become of age?"
"Not my problem."
Dr. Bliss was blown away. "How do you think your parents' marriage affects your dating life?"
He blushed. "I don't think it does."
"Really?" She didn't believe him. "So all of your relationships have been great?"
He gulped. "Not exactly."
She gave him a heavy lidded look.
He grinned. "I like the ladies. What can I say?"
"There isn't one lady in particular that you like more than the rest?"
He paled. "No."
She saw she hit a nerve. "Sidney, there is nothing legal that you can say that will make me repeat it."
"Just call me Sid." He averted his eyes.
"Don't avoid the question. You have someone you care about deeply. Who is it?"
He bristled. "Why do you think there's somebody?!"
"If there is a young man that you feel-"
"Man?!"
"For, you can tell me-"
"No!"
"I won't tell. I promise."
"It's a girl! I swear, it's a girl!"
Dr. Bliss smiled at tricking him. "What's her name?"
Sid groaned. "Nadine Carter."
"What do you love about Nadine?"
He swallowed hard. "Love?"
"Yes. Love."
"I-I-I can't love Nadine."
"Why not?" Was he another Arnold?!
"Because!" His color was high.
"Why not?"
"Because!" He sputtered. "I can't!"
"Why not?" She stated quietly.
"I'm not trying to be trapped!"
She frowned slightly. "You believe her feelings are stronger than your own?"
Sid looked down. He wanted to say yes but that would be a lie. "No."
"Then what-?" Dr. Bliss stopped as it occurred to her. "You don't want her to be trapped."
Sid licked his lips & nodded sadly.
"You really love her."
He swallowed. "I tried not to."
She could believe that. "Why?"
"What if we get together & she gets pregnant? She won't be able to go to school like she wants & I'll be the loser that ruined her life. She'll be trapped & hate me & the baby. No kid deserves that."
"Sid." She crossed her legs. "Do you think Nadine likes you at all?"
"I don't know. Maybe? At least before I slept with her best friend."
"Oh?" She knew what he was talking about. Arnold had told her.
Sid proceeded to tell her about what went down weeks prior. "& now she hates me. It's probably a good thing I messed it up now. Before I ruined her life."
"Sid, I don't think you'll ruin her life. You are completely worthy of love. Just because your parents don't love each other doesn't mean that you don't deserve love. You're not like your parents."
"Really?" Sid looked so downtrodden that it broke her heart.
"Really. I think you should talk to Nadine & explain how you feel. Be open & honest with her."
"Do you think she'll listen to me?"
"I think if you're determined to have her listen, she'll listen."
Sid felt something he'd never felt before; hope. It filled his heart & his lungs & made him want to shout from the rooftops. "So I love Nadine?"
"It would appear so."
He smiled. "Boy howdy."
~WLY~
Stella turned a page in her book.
Miles laughed at something Jimmy Fallon said on TV.
Stella turned another page.
Miles continued to giggle.
Stella narrowed her eyes & tossed the book aside before grabbing the remote from him & turning the television off. "Miles!"
"What'd you do that for?!" Miles was bewildered.
"I want to talk to you."
"Why didn't you just say that?"
"I did. I flipped thirteen pages within thirteen seconds."
Miles looked at her.
"I was being subtle." She duhed.
"Why?"
Why indeed. She sighed & rolled her eyes before turning to face him in their bed. "We need to talk about our son."
"I'll fix whatever Gary broke."
"Not that son!"
"Oh. Why? Arnold's been good since October."
"No, he hasn't. He's been moody & depressed. He hardly eats & he just stares off into space all the time. I'm worried about him."
"It's just this time of the year. Sometimes it makes people sad."
"It is not this time of the year. We need to come up with a plan. We may need to get Arnold in to see a counselor."
"A therapist? I'm telling you, Stella I know my son. He'll bounce right back. Just give him time."
Stella gave him a look. "To do what? Get even more depressed? I don't like this."
"I promise, by the time January rolls around, he'll be right as rain."
Stella let him kiss her & take the remote back. "Fine. But if he's not, we're talking about this."
~WLY~
Olga opened the door with a smile. "Hello! Merry Christmas Eve!"
The mailman smiled. "Merry Christmas Eve to you, too Olga. This is for Helga."
"Thank you! Here's your Christmas present!" She handed him a card & tickets to the ballet.
He waved the envelope jauntily. "Thanks! See you in two days!"
"Goodbye!" She waved big before going inside & closing the door. She went upstairs to Helga's room & knocked on the door. "Baby sister?"
"Come in." Helga called out.
Olga opened the door. "You have flowers!"
Helga blushed. "He sent them on the day before Christmas?"
"Who? Arnold?" Olga smirked.
Helga rolled her eyes hard. "Yeah right. It's from a secret admirer. His name's Midnight & I've been getting flowers from him for two months."
Olga squealed & ran to jump on the bed. "Glorious! You have a secret admirer! I used to have them all the time!"
"I know." Helga remembered. She reached for the box of flowers & opened it. Just like all the others, six red roses with baby's breath. She picked up the note to read. "Dearest Helga, I wrote to Santa & asked him for your heart. We'll see if I've been a good enough boy if I wake up to see your smiling face tomorrow morning. In case I don't, here's my heart."
"His heart?" Olga frowned.
Helga rummaged through the box & found a golden charm bracelet. It was beautiful. The charms were all music notes & one letter "H".
"How beautiful!" Olga gasped.
Helga blushed. "It is." She stuck her arm out so Olga could fasten the sparkly piece of jewelry to her wrist.
Olga did up the lobster clasp. "However are you supposed to thank him?"
"I don't know. I don't even know who he is." Helga watched her arm twinkle in the bright winter sun.
"You should find out as soon as you can."
"Should I? With everything going on at school, he might just be a freak that wants to nail the school slut."
Olga gasped in outrage. "You are not a slut! You are in charge of your sexual destiny! You are beautiful & strong & this Midnight knows that!"
"Okay, alright. Stop being supportive." Helga felt warm from her sister's diatribe anyway.
"Humph!" Olga lifted her nose. "What would you tell Midnight if you ever saw him?"
Helga blushed. "I don't know."
"I think you do." Olga said knowingly.
Helga buried her face in her covers. "Get out!"
Olga got up to go back down to the kitchen to finish cooking dinner but tossed a barb at her sister on the way out. "Mrs. Midnight."
Helga screamed in embarrassment.
Olga laughed.