Chapter 10: Walking Away From You (edited 8/23/07)

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.

Anyone can see my every flaw.
It isn't hard.

--"Pain" by Jimmy Eat World

Three days.

For three full days she'd remained by Inuyasha's side, and what's more, the waiting was killing her. She couldn't understand why he wouldn't wake up. Wasn't he healed? Was there something else that she didn't know about?

What if she accidentally did purify him?

Taking a deep, shuddering breath, she forced herself to relax and concentrated on the tiny ball of energy swirling on her finger. A smile flickered before vanishing completely as the orb shrunk and swelled before dancing across her other fingers. 'I wish Inuyasha were awake to see this…' The orb burst like fireworks, showering her face with gentle warmth.

Inuyasha's suddenly frantic youki clawed at the air around her. He was having another nightmare, she supposed. Her warm hand brushed against his cold cheek, and she started violently when a clawed hand covered her own.

"Inuyasha?" Leaning over him, she waited with bated breath for him to respond. "Inuyasha, can you hear me?"

His eyes fluttered open the tiniest bit. "Ki-Kikyou?"

Breath escaping in a hiss, she felt every bit of damage that he'd done to her by uttering just that one word. "Y—yeah, I'm here."

She wanted to cry. But if Kikyou was who he needed now…

His eyes closed again. "Should've known she wouldn't be here," he mumbled, turning his head away from her hand. "Dumb bitch."

"Inuyasha?"

His face was pained—eyes squeezed tightly shut, fangs digging into his bottom lip until blood ran freely down his chin.

"Inuyasha! Stop it!"

His eyes shot open when her hands were pulling at his face, trying to get him to face her. A thumb passed over the puncture wounds on his lip, and he was healed.

"What are you trying to do to yourself!" she demanded, angry when fresh tears sprang to her eyes.

"You…" he breathed. How had he confused her for Kikyou again? Then he was on the other side of the room and out of her reach. "Don't touch me." The venomous hiss that escaped his lips made her pause.

"Inuyasha… You need to come lie down." Her shaken voice left him sneering at her; he made no move to obey her. "Why—" she cleared her throat, "Why are you being like this?"

"Like what, bitch? I can't be angry now? What, you have me wrapped so tightly around your finger I can't be pissed unless you okay it? Who the hell do you think you are?" he roared, his eyes flashing as he advanced upon her.

Never, since that first day with the jewel, had she ever feared him.

Well. She did now.

His breathing was harsh as he cornered her, glaring down at her with a hatred he'd never directed at her. Naraku, maybe. Possibly Sesshoumaru… But why did it seem so much more dangerous, more potent when that look was directed at her.

Tears blurred her vision, and then she remembered her anger. "Y-you're a jerk," she sniffled, whipping a hand across her face to dry her eyes. "A r-real ass, you know?"

She was relieved when his face had blanked. She'd rather it show nothing than that obscene hatred towards her. "Oh? You're just now figuring this out?"

She shoved at his chest, glaring at him now while more tears streamed down her face. "I was worried about you, you baka! You almost died! You almost died, and you did it to yourself! You ass! You gave up—on Naraku, on Kikyou, on Sango and Miroku. On me!"

"I gave up on you a long time ago," he snapped angrily. A lie, but she didn't need to know that.

She wiped her eyes again, and breathed, "You liar."

"Look," he muttered, running an agitated hand through his hair. "Just go, alright? I'm not asking you to dirty yourself by staying here. Leave."

All of her anger disappeared with that one command. "Wha—Inuyasha, no!"

"Kagome! Go! Don't ever come here again."

She shook her head frantically. "Where is this coming from? If this is about the other day, I'm sorry I said 'it' so many times—I was mad because I smelled horrible!"

"How can you stand there and say this is about that stupid pig and a few sits?"

He was upset again—hurt, this time, rather than angry, and she began to cry in earnest.

"Because I don't know what I did! And I can't just leave—we have the shards, and—"

"And you're not the only fucking shard detector available. You said it yourself. I can use Kikyou."

She stiffened in her corner. "O-okay…"

"Don't look so sad," he sneered again, flexing his claws for something to do. "This is what you wanted, right? To get away from the dirty hanyou?"

Shaking her head, she stared at him and prayed that he wouldn't ask her for her shards. If he didn't, she could leave, give him time to cool off, and then come back to find out what the hell his problem was. "Fine. I'm leaving, but don't ever suggest that I called you dirty."

"Filthy half-breed then."

"Whatever, Inuyasha. Whenever you're done hurting yourself, you know where to find me."

"Don't fucking hold your breath!" he called after her as she stormed outside, brushing past Miroku on her way out.

The monk's eyes followed her until he saw his fiancé run up to her to wrap her in a hug. The normally warm sapphire became sharp as shards of glass, and he turned to glare at the furious hanyou.

"How could you—No! How dare you treat her like that?" he seethed. "She's not your toy, Inuyasha! She's not something you can just throw away."

"Listening to our conversations, Monk?"

"I came when I heard yelling—hell, you're lucky that I'm the one that got to you first instead of Sango. You've got a hell of a lot of explaining to do," he replied grimly. His knuckles were white under his tight grip on the holy staff.

"I don't have to explain shit to you." The hanyou cursed when a sharp, white pain exploded behind his eyes. The belated jingling of the staff told him what had happened.

"You're lucky to be alive, you idiot. You're lucky that Kagome found you in time. She risked her life to find you, you know? And for what? For you to treat her like she was nothing! I'd have kicked your ungrateful ass up and down this damn village." The monk paused, before snapping, "In fact, I still might!"

How dare Inuyasha just stand there? How dare he look so bored?

"This is none of your business, Miroku. You don't understand, so just butt the hell out."

"Oh, I understand perfectly. Are things getting to comfortable for you, Inuyasha? Poor thing… It must be horrible to have a home! And friends! And a girl that loves you—you poor bastard," he snapped sarcastically.

"Oi! You know nothing of what Kagome feels," he hissed back.

"You're the only one that can't see it, you baka! After two years with you, you think she feels absolutely nothing for you? You didn't see what we saw, Inuyasha! The way she looked when we found the two of you beside the well! You wouldn't be so goddamn cold to her if you knew how much she loves you, and how much you hurt her by trying to off yourself, you bloody coward."

"That shows what the fuck you know," the hanyou snarled. "Nothing—you know nothing. She doesn't love me; she hates me. Who could love a filthy half-breed, huh?"

"Oh dear Buddha, grant me patience," he sighed, rubbing his temples before leveling another glare at Inuyasha. "Have any of us ever called you a half-breed, Inuyasha? Have any of us ever treated you as less than our equal?"

"It came from her mouth, monk. Women, huh?" he chuckled mirthlessly and folded his arms across his chest. "One minute she's calling me her best friend, the next she's talking about how I don't deserve to breath the same air as her." His grim smile faded, and he forced himself to look Miroku in the eye. "I did her a favor. …I let her go."

Miroku looked shocked. "You're really serious about this…"

"Yeah."

"And Kagome said this, did she? She called you a half-breed?"

Inuyasha sighed. "Look, it doesn't matter, all right? I'm over it, and she probably didn't mean it. You know Kagome—all flighty and shit." He tried to smile, but couldn't quite pull it off.

"That doesn't sound like Kagome at all," Miroku murmured. "At all, Inuyasha. I'm assuming that's what caused you to do what you did?"

The hanyou didn't answer, but then again, he didn't have to.

"Inuyasha—it couldn't have been her. Not unless you were pretending to joke around with her before the storm."

"The storm…I remember it raining. And do you think I can't tell Kagome from any other human out there? Of course it was her."

Miroku shook his head eagerly. Something inside him screamed that he was right, and he'd learned to trust his intuitions. "No, listen to me, Inuyasha. We spent the morning outside, right? You were fine with Kagome then. You left, and she came back with us and took a nap. She was never out of our sight, Inuyasha. Not until well into the storm, and that was when she went to find you."

The misery that the hanyou had tried to hide, morphed into bewilderment. "It was her, Miroku. I talked to her—I smelled her—"

"And that wouldn't be the first time something like that has happened to you. You should know better than any of us, not to always rely on your senses. It may have appeared to be Kagome, but it certainly didn't sound like her. We both know that she would never say anything so heartless. So Inuyasha…did it feel like her?"

Wide eyes darted from Miroku to the make-shift door. "I've got to go."

The monk clasped his shoulder and smiled pleasantly at him, as though he hadn't just threatened to kick his ass. "I'll see you around then. Tell Kagome I said 'hi'."

It didn't take him long to catch trail of her scent, even in the thick after-scent of rain. And if he hurried, he'd catch her before she even made it down the well. But what would he say to her?

What could he say to her?

He'd been a complete ass.

"You're a complete ass, you know that?" A sharp pain in his scalp—the second one in ten minutes—forced a yelp out of him.

Glowering at the frightening slayer, he tried to pry her vice-like grip off of his forelocks. "Ow, Sango! Getthefuckoffme!"

She ignored him, and yanked him closer to her red face. "Complete. Ass."

"I heard you the first time! Now let go, I've got to find Kagome—"

He didn't think it was possible, but she managed to glare even more fiercely at him. "Now why would I let you do that? You made her cry. Do you even care? Do you care that she sat by your side for three days waiting for you to wake up? That the first thing you said to her was 'Kikyou' and 'don't touch me'? You're a bastard, Inuyasha."

He at least had the decency to look ashamed of himself, she noticed. "She told you that, huh?"

"Well, who else was she going to talk to it about?" she spat. "Certainly not you."

"I was wrong, okay" he muttered, hating himself for not being able to look her in the eye. "It was Naraku, and I thought he was Kagome." He heard her sharp inhalation, but when he looked up at her, her face was still stony.

"You don't get to blame this on Naraku, Inuyasha. You know Kagome. You know her better than any of us. Whatever she did to make you treat her like that… You don't get to blame this on Naraku," she repeated, and he didn't know what to say to that.

"Please…I just need to find her."

He didn't know what made him say it, why he'd reduced himself to begging Sango for something he could just as easily remedy by pushing her away. But it was right.

She stared at him for a long while, and then her fingers loosened around his hair, and she released him. "Goshinboku. She said she needed to think for a while. You may be able to catch her before she leaves for her world."

Her eyes fell to his bared chest. "And because you clearly weren't in your right mind," she began harshly, "I'll forget about what you tried to do to yourself. You've never before shown signs of being a coward."

He waited for her to pass him before he took off again, trying to ignore the sting her words had left on him. He had a lot of questions—how long had he been asleep? How did Kagome find him? How was he healed already? Had he really been out that long?

But none of that mattered right now.

'You made her cry. Do you even care?'

What a stupid question.

He ran faster.

'She's beautiful, huh?'

Inuyasha smiled as he watched her thin fingers trace Goshinboku's scar. 'I guess…yeah…' He couldn't remember ever feeling so relieved as he did now. Knowing that nothing had changed between them--not really. Nothing that couldn't be mended anyway...

'We should have had more faith in her. She's our best friend.'

He felt his ears plaster themselves against his scalp at the sadness that clogged his nose. She reeked of it. 'I wasn't thinking… It hurt.' He didn't know why he was trying to justify his anger toward her. He was wrong, and he should just leave it at that.

She'd forgive him. She's Kagome, so she'd forgive him. Even if he didn't deserve her forgiveness.

Right?

A warning growl drew his attention from the miko to youkai lying at her feet. Kirara glared at him and slowly climbed to her feet, ready to face him if she had to.

"You, too, huh?" he asked softly, lifting his eyes back to Kagome, who'd turned at Kirara's warning.

The neko bared her fangs, and Kagome sunk her fingers into the deep fur of her neck, giving the cat a poignant smile. "It's all right, Kirara. Go back to Sango."

With one last glare at Inuyasha, the cat stalked out of the ring of trees, disappearing into the forest.

He felt his heart breaking as she watched him warily. "Kagome…" And he wasn't even aware he was moving until he could practically feel the heat of her body against him.

Iiii should be studying my French, but…I felt like writing, so… There you have it.