Chapter 10: The World Has It's Shine
Yuffie was confused.
Beyond confused was more like it.
She stood poised in front of the door to her house, a hand pressed tenderly underneath her bottom lip, as she bit on her cheek. She flicked the light on, pushing her shoes off with the backs of her feet. She headed upstairs slowly, flexing her toes in the carpet of each stair as she headed up.
She poked her head inside her father's bedroom, seeing the light of the television flooding in through the bottom of the door. Yuffie plucked the remote out of her father's limp hand and turned off the TV. She looked at him briefly, smiling softly and headed out of his room, closing the door quietly.
When she got to her own room, she kicked the door closed with the back of her foot, and let her shoes drop from her hand. She threw her coat onto the back of her chair, stripping down to her underwear as she kicked her clothes off haphazardly around her room.
She peeled back the sheets, getting into bed and turning out the light by her bed. She stared at the ceiling in the darkened room, rolling over on her side and exhaling loudly, burrowing within her sheets.
Tonight was nice … She thought to herself, smiling gently and giggling like a little school girl. She had gotten quite friendly with Kairi within the past months and with it, her perception of Kairi was changing completely. She was no longer that stuck-up smart girl that trailed behind Riku and Sora all the time; maturing into something completely different from what she had perceived her as.
It was nice to have a friend besides Cloud and Leon to be comfortable. The boys were great and all but …she needed same sex interaction at times. Rikku had been there to play that part …but ever since that night …
She wouldn't deny that she still felt something for the other girl, when you care about someone, feelings don't go away like that in a heart beat. She hadbeen the first girl she ever had a relationship with. Rikku had been the one to approach her back in the beginning of their freshman year, striking up a friendship, which evolved into something more during their sophomore year of high school.
And then she killed it – threw it away in less than a minute.
Kairi came to her that same night, concern written all over her face. She had been wearing that all too short black fairy costume of hers, complete with three inch heels and fairy wings. Her inquisitive large blue, nearly purple eyes shining in the night, as she sat hunched over by Riku's pool.
Carefully, hesitantly – Kairi had made an attempt at starting a small conversation with Yuffie. She smelled faintly of jasmine, a scent Yuffie found all too pleasant whenever Kairi was near. And they talked, swiveling their toes in the pool, complaining about the heels they were wearing among other random things.
And so began her friendship with Kairi.
Ahh, Kairi. The little modest, quick-tempered, sarcastic, easily embarrassed, auburn haired girl from her English class. English partner, more formerly. She… felt something for the girl …a least she thought so. Something beyond friendship. Yuffie released a soft sigh into the crook of her arm, opening her eyes. Those were the beginnings of a crush, weren't they? Or maybe she was just confusing the feelings she had for Rikku with her feelings for Kairi.
She sunk further into her covers, shielding her face with her hands and sighing into them. God this was confusing. It wasn't like the other girl would reciprocate the feelings if they were there in the first place.
Kairi was straight. Right?
At least …Yuffie thought she was.
o—o
My sixteenth birthday is officially the best birthday I've ever had.
o—o
Christmas came in a storm of bone chilling snow. It was a full blown blizzard, actually. Kairi pressed her face against the glass of one of her bedroom's windows staring off into the white abyss in front of her. She rubbed at her arms, sniffing slightly against the cold that radiated off her walls.
Pulling on her robe, she shuffled out of her room, bounding downstairs into her living room. Her mother parked on the couch reading the paper. Kaia turned to look over her head at her daughter who rubbed pitifully at her eyes and yawned loudly as she took a seat by her mother.
"Morning, honey, Merry Christmas." She smiled at Kaia, setting the paper she was reading on the coffee table.
Kairi waved out to her as she sat down heavily on the chair and gave her mother a quick kiss on the cheek. "What were you reading?" She asked. Kairi peered over at the paper her mother had folded up, and groaned. It was the Traverse Town Times and on the bottom of the front page, holding the white rose bouquet looking bewildered into the camera. The text next to her picture read, 'Kairi Ifans Celebrates A Sweet 16'.
"Joyeux Noël!" Naminé came in with her hair tied back from her face and an apron covering her front side. She shuffled against the floor, a tray of three steaming mugs held in front of her. She sat the tray down on the coffee table. She ran her hands over the paper, picking it up into her pale delicate hands "Kaiiri, yuu 'ar on the top page …" She opened it up, flipping the dark page over, blue eyes scanning over the paper. "Oh …well …"
"What nonsense did they write about me this year?" Kairi rolled her eyes, reclining into the seat.
Naminé sat down in the space next to Kairi, her ushering the paper into her lap, "Right there."
Kairi squinted at the font, "Yesterday, heiress to the multi-million – exaggeration much? – establishment of K.I. industries and daughter of esteemed fashion designer, Kaia Ignatova, celebrated her sixteenth birthday in the company of her mother and a small entourage of her closest friends. The auburn haired beauty was dressed to boot in a white baby doll, black rouched mini skirt … yaddah yaddah …" She scanned the article, reading on, " … nnnnnn …"
There was a full length body shot of her entering Le Bernardin, with Riku and Sora on her sides. The three smaller ones were of her kneeling down by her father's grave with her mother, her talking to Naminé during dinner and the last one was of her and Yuffie hugging at the end of the night. What the hell? …I thought they had stopped following us by then …I …
"Hey, at least they didn't make up something far fetched like …you were trying to summon back the soul of your deceased lover or something." Kaia snorted into her mug, sipping at the hot chocolate. "This is good Naminé."
"Merci." Naminé smiled, taking her own mug from the tray.
Kairi threw the paper back on the table, grunting a she sipped from her own cup. "…It's annoying."
"It is." Kaia replied, knocking heads with her daughter, "But look at it this way. They rarely bother you as it is. What's one day out of the year going to hurt?"
"Hnn." Kairi stood up, setting her glass down. "Where'd you put my guitar at?"
"It should be in your room." Kaia replied, sitting up straight.
Kairi scooted between her mother and cousin, bounding up to her room and opening up the door, to search around in the darkness for her guitar. She stumbled over a black box by her bed, rubbing at her knees when she slammed into her desk chair. Groaning she stood back up and flipped the box open, looking at the glimmering white guitar inside.
Grinning to herself, she ran her hand against the smooth polished finish, strumming the strings gently to test it out. She slung the guitar over her backside, and looked on the other side of her room for her amplifier.
Dragging it across the carpet and out of her room, she plugged the wires into the outlet of the wall opposite her room by the stairs. Kicking the cord around with her foot she leaned over to turn up the volume, strumming down on the strings hard enough to feel the guitar vibrate underneath her hands.
"MERDE!" Naminé cried from the couch, nearly falling over in surprise. She gripped her ears, biting at her lips, "Tourner que le bas, Kaiiri!"
"…I'm starting to think getting you a new guitar was a bad idea." Kaia mumbled, sipping from her mug and sighed.
o—o
I spent the majority of Christmas playing around with my guitar in my room, getting the occasional yell from mom to turn my amp down. Seems kind of weird that I play guitar, hm?
Well …when I was little, my dad got me my first guitar. I never really played it; it just kind of sat in my room gathering dust. He always told me he would teach me to play one day.
Well, you know he passed away before he was able to do it. Dad was always in the hospital when I was little because of his sickness and all. When he passed away, I used to ask her to teach me how to play it all the time. But she was so busy with just trying to make a living back then that she couldn't.
So she got me the next best thing.
Guitar lessons.
I got my first electric guitar a little after we had just moved into the loft. That was around the time when she was hitting the big time and her clothes were getting well known by the general public. When I was in that "I hate the world, I'm so angsty" thirteen year old phase, I'd spend hoursin my room locked up with the thing. Yeah. I'm obsessed. Sue me.
So …where was I? Oh …yes.
Christmas …well, we don't have many traditions for Christmas.
Me and mom usually go over to Sora's house and have dinner over there, but since there was so much snow we were stuck inside watching the small white flurries pass by the windows and whilst watching crappy holiday reruns. If I see "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" one more time, I very well could blow my brains out.
Mom and Naminé were cooking us a little something for that day seeing as we were hardly going out into this storm. Lucky for Riku and Sora! They could spend the holidays making out and doing whatever God knows what together. Spare me for one day, thank you very much. Oh who am I kidding? I love those two to death. I'm glad they have each other.
I was actually glad I had the time to think today without having to do anything. It was really peaceful in the house today and I was thankful for it because I needed time to think. I've had a lot on my mind in these past few months.
Firstly, it was time for a revaluation of my sex life beginning in my child hood.
I got my first kiss in pre-school from a girl.
I can't remember her name, but it started with her asking me what kissing felt like and I told her I didn't know. She asked if I wanted to try, so I just told her, "Yes." We were both young, around four probably. It was an innocent childhood kiss, something that you look back on and say, "I didn't know any better." Or end up forgetting in the long run.
Next.
I've known Riku and Sora ever since we were in diapers. Yet growing up, I never felt an attraction to either of them. They always played the part of an older brother or something …a guardian figure more or less. Riku kind of just gives off this vibe like, "fuck with me and you'll die" …and Sora is always the complete opposite, friendly and open about anything. Sure, Riku kids with me to no end, and we have a slight love-hate relationship but deep down when it really comes down too it, we're there for each other.
I remember a time when we were really young …Sora and I were about five and Riku had recently turned seven that March, our parents had brought us to the beach one really hot summer day in July.
Sora and I were playing down by the shore, making a huge sand castle, while Riku was sitting underneath the umbrella a little ways away from us. This kid came by and told us to get away from the sand because it was his place to play and if we didn't he'd destroy our castle. Sora stood up and started yelling at him to go away saying that we had been there first.
Needless to say, he destroyed the castle and Sora started to tear up and Riku hadn't taken to kindly too it. He came racing down from his spot, pushing the kid down into the toppled sand where the castle had been and started yelling at him. Pretty soon things started getting violent and Riku was pushing the kids head into the sand and making him eat it. He didn't ease up until Aunt Adrii pulled him off and gave him a severe reprimanding.
It's one of my favorite memories of the two actually. It was so cute when Riku came back over to us and started wiping Sora's tears and told him to stop crying because he'd help us rebuild the castle.
But yeah. Brother figures more so than a boyfriend. Besides, the two of them always had eyes for each other if you asked me. I think everyone could see that.
I've never had a boyfriend.
…Okay, I've had one.
Wakka. …But don't ask what the hell I was thinking, even I don't know. We were like …twelve, it totally doesn't count. And he only went out with me because he was trying to get Selphie to like him or something when she clearly liked Tidus to begin with. Those three have always been kind of strange.
Wakka kissed weirdly. It was like having a slug swarm all over your face, leaving a messy trail of saliva everywhere. It was not very pleasant to tell you the truth.
I never kissed a guy after that.
…I did kiss a girl though …
I don't really think I was ever straight.
No. I just like to convince myself that I am. Maybe it's time that I stop denying it. As Riku used to tell me, "Embrace your inner gay." …Then again, I still kind of like guys. Maybe I'm just bi? Who said I had to be a full frontal lesbian?
This shit is always so confusing.
When I was younger, I used to look at those, "Am I a Lesbian?" sites all the time. I even took this test once to find out if I was one. I mean seriously, how the hell can a test tell you what you are? They're not even that accurate! I took one once and it told me I was 100 lesbian. …Um. …Next.
I used to always have this reoccurring fantasy when I was in my early teens. It was of this big chested girl from my math class in 8th grade. Her name was Lulu and she had the biggest tits I've ever seen …for a thirteen year old girl that is. Anyway, I had all sorts of inappropriate thoughts about her. …No one ever told me it wasn't normal per se …I just. Well …I just never thought about it much. She was hot though. I think she goes out with Wakka now or something …I always see them making out in the back hallways after school.
But uh …back to what I was talking about. At Sora's New Years Party last year I got friggin wasted. The only time I've done so in my life. At least …that I can remember, I think. Anyway, her name was Leblanc and she was all, "Hey, love. Wanna have a fun time?" And for some reason, my drunken self ended up making out with her in Sora's room.
I don't remember much else from that night except Riku and sometimes Sora for having a reason to call me a lesbian. I had a massive head ache the next day …god I swore off alcohol after that.
So let's add this all up.
Lack of boyfriends, completely turned off by getting kissed by a boy, am most certainly a fag hag, fantasize about hot big breasted girls, first kiss is with a girl, got a 100 on a 'are you a lesbian quiz?' …equals?
DING DING DING
NOT A LESBIAN!
Let's just sayt I'm bi as of now.
o—o
Not long ago ... I gave up hope, but you came along …you gave me something I could hold on to (whoa oh) …and I want to more then you could ever know …
Cobra Starship bumped softly from Kairi's speakers as she strummed along to the guitar solo in correspondence with her own guitar. She crossed her legs out in front of her and flopped back into her bed staring up at the ceiling. It was still snowing, but not as fiercely as before much to her delight.
The phone started ringing a few minutes later. She slid her guitar off of herself, rolling over off of her bed to check who was calling on the caller ID. It was Sora.
"Hello?"
"Kaiiiriii! Merry Christmas!"
"Merry Christmas, Sora."
"So, whatcha doin?"
"Nothing really, just …" she sat down on her bed, picking the guitar back up, " …testing out the guitar and whatnot."
"Oh …well. Mom wants to know if you and Kaia are coming over?"
"Er …well …" Kairi scratched at her cheek absent mindedly. "The snow …"
"That's what she said. 'There's no way in hell Kaia's coming out in this snow. This is ridiculous!' Ahh, don't worry about it. Mom'll understand and stuff," He paused, "Hold on a sec?"
"Okay."
He sat the phone down, his voice trailing away, "Roxas is in his room, Axel! … No, I really don't know if he wants you to dress up as his Santa … You can ask him though." Sora's voice died out and all she could hear was Axel mumbling something in the background.
Next she heard Roxas, "What about Santa? …NO I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE MY GODAMN SANTA. …AND NO I'M NOT DRESSING UP AS TWIN ELVES WITH MY BROTHER! … AXEL THAT'S DISGUSTING PUT THAT COSTUME AWAY!" She heard some stuff falling around and Suri calling upstairs, "BOYSSSS!" Sora was laughing his head off as she heard thumping and another door slam.
Sora came back on the phone a few minutes later, trying to calm down, "Ahha …Kairi?"
"What was that all about?"
"Axel wanted to be Roxas's Santa. You should see this costume."
"Oh?" Kairi blinked.
"Yeah, Axel's been over since last night because mom was all, 'Roxas! Bring your boyfriend over! I want to meet him!' Roxas was bright red to say the least, screaming, 'He's not my boyfriend!' Ahhh …" he lowered his voice, "But just between you and me I saw him and Axel going at it …er …making out on the steps to our house when mom had me go off and dump the trash. He's totally not his boyfriend..."
"I bet your mother's having a field day."
"She soooooo loves the fact that both her son's are gay, I'm telling you." He laughed, "You thought she was bad when Riku an' me first started going out? You should see her with Axel and Roxas. Every time she passes by the two of them it's like rabid fan girl time,"
"Eesh …" Kairi coughed, strumming at the guitar.
"Riku asked if you used his present yet," Sora snorted.
Kairi gritted her teeth, "Tell him no …but he can gladly use it himself if he wants too."
A pause, "He says, gladly."
Kairi sighed and shook her head, while Sora laughed on, "Listen Kai. Before I get back to the retarded festivities over here, I'm having a New Years party on the 31st. You know the deal, call me if you can make it, okay?"
"Alright."
"See ya!"
The line went dead as Kairi placed the phone back on the cradle. She looked back to her guitar, turning her music back on and strumming along to the song once again.
o—o
Christmas passed. And the next few days were filled with homework and guitar playing with the occasional mix of a bad day time show. Sora's party came sooner than I thought. Naminé was supposed to come with me, but she decided to sit this one out.
I know one thing's for sure, no drinking for me this time around.
o—o
Kairi rang the door bell to Sora's house, rubbing her arms trying to warm her self, as she waited for him to open the door. She was greeted with high pitched barking and Sora screaming, "SHUT UP OATHKEEPER!" He yanked the door opened, smiling, "Kairi!"
He ushered her into the house taking her coat away from her, and putting it in the chair next to him. A small Maltese puppy was running around at his heels and instantly turned its attention to Kairi once she stepped inside the house. The small dog jumped up at her, pawing at her legs gently, running around in circles at her feet. Kairi bent down to scratch the dog behind its ears, pulling back slightly when she jumped up to try and lick her face. "Hey girl, how've you been?"
Kairi shook her head as Sora chased the dog away from Kairi and tried to pick her up as she ran circles around him. "You …are TOO hyper."
o—o
Did I ever mention that mom got her inspiration for her cologne and perfume line from Aunt Suri's dogs?
Oathkeeper, the cute little hyperactive Maltese and Oblivion, her quiet Doberman pinscher. When we were little, Oblivion used to give Sora and me rides on his back all the time. …Now he's friggin ancient and doesn't really do much of that anymore. They got Oathkeeper about three years ago because Oblivion was getting old and Suri wanted another dog. End short history lesson.
o—o
"Aww …she's just lonely." Kairi clapped her hands and Oathkeeper came running toward her. She scratched the dog on her belly, and gathered her up in her arms as she followed Sora through too the kitchen where his mother was chopping up vegetables.
"Maaaa, Kairi's here."
Suri turned around a grin on her face, "Kairi, honey. How are you?"
"I'm fine." She let Oathkeeper go who ran in the direction of Oblivion, who was nestled by the basement door. She barked at him playfully jumping around and running around. Oblivion barely acknowledged her, turning his head, nestling himself within his kennel.
"How's Kaia?" Suri looked at her two dogs shaking her head, then over at Kairi.
"Busy. She had to work today."
Suri chuckled, "Always the workaholic." She washed her hands off in the sink, "Well, everything's all made up. I'm heading upstairs. You kids behave down here, you hear?"
Sora turned around and waved to his mother. "Okay!"
Oathkeeper went jetting after Suri, bouncing up the stairs at high speed, yapping happily. Kairi shook her head at the dog and smiled, turning back to Sora, "Where's Riku?"
"Upstairs being a lazy ass and watching TV. He'll be down soon." Sora leaned down into the cupboard pouring something into the bowl of punch and stirring it up.
"…That wasn't …"
"Oh come on Kai, what's a party without a little alcohol? Relax, it's not that much! It was only a shot." He turned around to set the shot glass on the ground. Oathkeeper bounded into the kitchen once again, running instantly for Kairi.
Kairi groaned inwardly, "I'm sticking to orange juice the entire night, then." She bent down to pick up Oathkeeper who was pawing at her feet.
"Suit yourself!" Sora moved to put the punch to the table out in the living room, rubbing his head. "Hmm …"
Riku bounded down the steps, hands full of his hair and yawned. "I thought I heard you two, Kairi." He turned to look at Kairi who had Oathkeeper in her arms. "What are you two doing?"
"This one is busy trying to get the whole party drunk." Kairi snapped, letting the dog out of her arms. Oathkeeper ran back into the living room, barking at the door, running around in circles again. The bell rung at the same time, accompanied with a knock on the door.
"Who could that be?" Riku asked, swaying his hips as he left to get the door. He nudged Oath out of the way and yanked the door open.
Kairi perked up when she heard a familiar voice waft in from the living room, "Hey, Riku! I'm not early am I?"
A shuffling of feet, "Nope. Sora was just setting up."
"Good, I didn't wanna impose or anything. Awww, what a cute dog." Her voice went up a pitch, "Hi! Aren't you cute? Hey, Leon and Cloud said they'd be coming a little later or whatever."
Riku entered into the kitchen a few minutes later with Yuffie trailing behind him. Kairi looked up from where she was sitting and waved out shyly, "Hey, Yuffie."
"Kairi!" She grinned, shrugging off her jacket, "How've you been?"
Kairi shrugged, nodding her head off nonchalantly. Before she could respond, Sora jumped in grinning, "Yuffie, glad you could make it." He had a bowl in one hand a bag of chips in the other, "We were just setting up. Um …you can sit in the living room if you want. I'm almost done getting the food out and stuff."
He headed out of the kitchen, walking into Riku who blocked his path playfully, "Gotta get by me first."
"Come on, Riku!" Sora moved to the side trying to fake Riku out.
Kairi got out of her seat and made a motion for Yuffie to follow her, "Come on, I'll take your coat and bag." She grabbed up her own coat in the process as the two headed upstairs.
"Sora's got a nice house, I see." Yuffie moved over to the side as Kairi hopped up the stairs and motioned for her to follow. At the landing, Kairi opened the first door to their left, peaking into the room before she opened it fully.
"Suri keeps it up …" She groaned inwardly. "If only Sora would learn the meaning of clean." She side stepped over dirty clothing on the floor.
"Typical boy's room?" Yuffie offered.
Kairi scoffed, spreading out the bed sheet. She sighed, depositing her coat on the bed. She motioned for Yuffie's stuff, laying hers down neatly over the bed. They stood there for a minute in silence before the doorbell rung downstairs and Oath started barking again, as Sora yelled at the dog to shut up.
"Come on, let's head back down." Kairi pulled at Yuffie's hand slightly, dropping it at soon as she picked it up. Yuffie rubbed at it absentmindedly and followed Kairi out of Sora's room, heading back down the stairs back into the living room.
o—o
It was going to be a lonnngggg night.